Unless?

Normalize, romanticize, problematize, caramelize, pathologize, real eyes, realize, real lies, materialize, destabilize, McDonald’s fries, contextualize

Imagine like a New Age organ-harvesting ring – the whole wake-up-in-a-bathtub-full-of-ice bit, except whatever they’re “stealing” is completely intangible. Victims all like “I thought they were going to sell me a dresser, but instead they knocked me out and crunged my aura, and now I can’t see the colour mauve”.

March

I get to upgrade my phone in 10 days what should I get

ur mom hands u a glass of orange juice. u take a sip. its not orange juice. its stirred egg yolks. u spit them all out. u ask ur mom why. she turns around. its not ur mom. its me. ur mom is gone. im ur mother now

these old spice commercials have been getting really crazy lately 

everyday is valentines day if u are a fool and have love in yourheart

people always ask which way you face in the shower... but baby, I'm a rotisserie chicken