Had to cull a few more plants yesterday, I thought “I’ve destroyed many a plant with my darkness” so brooding and deep lol but it’s true, I just don’t get enough sunlight and the lightbulbs I can afford don’t quite cut it either. But that’s okay, it’s a freeing feeling, now I can focus more on low light plants. It still varies but there are plants that don’t mind the low light here so bad, my begonias have really thrived in it!! I’d like to give violets a go, my mom always told me about how her mother used to grow them.
A few years ago in November I went to Florida with a work friend of mine, a snap decision I made just cuz Lucy (names have been changed to protect the innocent) is fun and spontaneous and talked me into it. It was so wonderful, the surprisingly best time I’d had in forever and I always dreamed of going back. I was hoping it would be like that when Kenny and I went to Disneyworld but well.. ugh let’s just say it wasn’t and move on.
Yesterday Lucy posted a bunch of pictures of her and her kids in Florida, they were coming to see the manatees that head to electric plants in the winter. I always hoped she’d ask me to go with her again and in that moment I knew I could never go back. Not back to Florida mind you, just back to relive those two amazing days I had with her. Her kids are growing up, I never got to spend time with her daughter like I wanted to and we’re just growing apart. As you can imagine with my disability I don’t get out much and I can tell that constantly pisses her off. I don’t get to keep very many friends in the real world where people expect me to physically show up all the time, I feel like it’s my own damn fault.
Anyway pity party over we’re moving on! I still want to go back to see the beach though, even if it can’t be the same. Maybe I can make something else just as special, at the very least it’ll be interesting. I feel like maybe I should go by myself but Idk how I would handle something like that.. I just don’t want people interfering and keeping me from doing what I want to do. I feel like I would end up arguing a lot with my mom, Kenny would go but I know he would hate the beach plus his work schedule is a nightmare.
My whole life wanted to see sea turtles hatch, I thought you had to go a lot farther away than Florida to see it but it turns out you don’t. I found a couple conservation groups where you can walk the beach at night and possibly see some, I think one was close to where the manatees go too. I wanna go there and I think maybe I’m supposed to do it alone.
Ever since the first time I saw a video of sea turtles hatching it blew my mind that they knew what to do and where to go. Their parents were long gone and they were literally just born yet somehow they just know to crawl to the sea and take care of themselves. I know many of them don’t survive very long but each one is bound and determined and by some miracle some of them make it and come back to leave their own babies later, even with scientific explanation you gotta admit that’s pretty incredible.
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