teardrop on the fire of a confession

Everybody thought I was good but now I’m evil and bad and I keep trying but I’m still evil and bad and it’s can’t be undone and I went to far and I was born evil and bad I’m sorryyy

Can’t sleep bc I can’t stop thinking about how I wish I was still good and sweet and innocent and now I feel evil dirty tainted and bad. I want to hold my cinna plushie and not believe I could hurt people so badly

I held my wedding dress again today for the first time in a long time. It was raining while moving and I was scared to get it wet even in the garment bag. I kept thinking about how I heard garment bags and body bags are the same, just different colors. I kept looking at the bag and thinking of a dead body in there, my own maybe, or my baby’s. I kept cradling it and didn’t want to put it down until it had to be packed into the car.