āThe prince just fell in love with Cinderella because of her looks!ā
Wrong. Okay, picture thisā
So thereās the prince, okay? Heās like, smack dab in the center of the ballroom, and he is like, horrifically aware that this whole ball thing is a result of his dad falling into a panic about the royal lineage or whatever and heās stuck listening to highborn girl after highborn girl, all lined up, introducing themselves like,Ā āOh yeah my familyās been a longtime supporter of the crown, and I think youāre cute, *cough* Iāve been told I have child-bearing hips *cough* Who said that? Anywayāā and Princey boy is just smiling through it, he has been the center of attention for entirely too long, he misses his emotional support horse, and is just internally likeĀ āSomeone please kill me now.ā And then⦠he sees herāThis isnāt a love at first sight thing, this is aĀ āwhat the hell is going on over thereā thing, because this girl has not gotten into the Debutante line for a solid 45 minutes.Ā
Sheās just at the hors dāoeuvres table going HAM on the prosciutto-wrapped asparagus, and like, sheās polite about it, sheās happy to move aside for other people grabbing punch and canapes (and sheās really so sweet with the wait staff, itās kind of cute because theyāre like⦠definitely not used to being acknowledged) but itās like,Ā āDamn girl, did you not eat today?ā and then the prince is kind of stuck with the uncomfortable thought ofĀ āhow many girls starved themselves to fit into a corset for this.ā And then the Prince realizes heās missed the past 4 Debutante introductions because heās watching Mystery girl hork down crab rangoons. So heās like,Ā āExcuse meā and manages to break free from the never-ending parade of girls who will hop on his dick for status.
Ā And as heās approaching Mystery Girl, itās kind of hitting him that somethingās not quite natural about her. Not fake, but not quite real. But at the same time this whole eveningās been just a whole circus of people acting fake as hell, so like, someone seeming a little off doesnāt seem bad, necessarily. And he sidles up to her like,Ā āHi,ā and sheās like,Ā āOhāhey, have you tried the tapenade?ā and she points to one of the plates, and at this point, he could hit her with theĀ āYou donāt know who I am, do you?ā deal or theĀ āVery funny, I see your playā deal, but at this point it occurs to him that, no, he hasnāt had anything to eat throughout this whole damn ball, partially because of being stuck in the debutante parade, partially because of nerves, and thereās something so disarming about the question that he grabs a crostiniĀ and she still seems so food-focused that it doesnāt seem possible that this is a play. So they both grab little plates and ditch the party.
She pretty much clears her plate in under two minutes and then has half of his plate, heās cool with it, mostly heās just absolutely fascinated listening to her.
See hereās the thing about Cinderella:
1. She doesnāt know heās the prince. Like yeah, heās been at the center of the room, but sheās kind of spent half the party eagerly looking around everywhere sheās allowed to go (āHave you seen rose garden? Have you seen the solarium??ā further confirmation that she doesnāt know who sheās talking to) and the other half stuffing her face with food.Ā
2. She assumes sheās never going to see anyone here tonight again, and no one recognizes her, so she has no filter.
So sheās just talking about whatever with this guy. He seems cool. She talks about her friends, who are rats. She makes little outfits for them. Sometimes they bring her little gifts. She is already the coolest person the prince has ever met because of this. She pretty much offhandedly talks about whatever is fucked up about the kingdom that would take his advisors two hours of hemming and hawing and watering down to address. She just says it like itās nothing, just funky little things sheās observed, and again, sheās not aware that heās the prince, but itās still pretty damn bold to bring up at a literal royal ball.
She⦠seems to have the majority of graces that lots of girls from Respectable Families⢠have, but thereās something strange about it, something simultaneously broken and hardened, like the way you can see where ice has thawed and re-frozen. Also the way she talks about her family, and the way she avoids talking about her familyā is raising several red flags, not in theĀ āOh this is another person trying to take advantage of meā sense, but in theĀ āOh fuck, somethingās gone really wrong and you need helpā sense and also lowkey a ādamn is she even getting fed?ā sense. But he canāt say,Ā āHey, thatās not fucking normal for people to say that to you or treat you that way. We need to get you out of there,ā without sounding crazy himself, so for now, heās just going to chill, make sure sheās comfortable, and keep enjoying the evening. Sheās somehow befriended like 4 of the waitstaff so theyāre willing to cover for them while they disappear for a little bit, and they get plenty of time to talk, but eventually it hits her that she hasnāt danced yet and sheās likeĀ āCome on! I bet we can make the prince jealous!ā and he just bursts out laughing at that likeĀ āhell yeah, letās make the prince jealous. Heās a real asshole.ā Like clearly sheās having a good time, so who is he to make it weird? So they head back to the ballroom and they dance. And our girl, Mystery Girl, Cinderella, while theyāre dancing, becomes acutely aware that everyone is staring.Ā That doesnāt seem quite right. Like, yeah sheās hot, she knows sheās hot, but at least a good third of the party should still be focused on the prince, right? Where is that guy, anyway?
And Princey Boy actually picks up on her realization and they whisper argue for like 3 minutes.Ā āWhy didnāt you tell me?! Now I feel like a goddamn idiot!āĀ āI dunno it was nice being treated like a normal personāĀ āWell me treating you like a normal person makes me a goddamn felon or something did you consider that?!āĀ āHeyāHeyāitās coolāyouāre coolāI think youāre amazing, and if anyone says shit about you, I can shut it down.āĀ āWell I donāt like that! Thatās fucked up!āĀ āI agree. It is fucked up, but I believe in you, and I think you should have a chance, and Iām here to back you up. I know power is fucked up right now. I know. But are you cool with working with me to change that?ā And our girl Cindy pauses on that for a couple seconds, because.. sheās just spent hours with this guy and like.. she knows heās a good guy, she knows he means well, so sheās like,Ā āI donāt know how long I can actually work with you.ā and the prince is likeĀ āLook, I know your home situation is complicated right now, but I really think we canāā
And then the bell starts ringing.
And then she takes off in a panic, and our prince just met the coolest person ever, and like, heās pretty sure whatever situation theyāre headed back to is fucked up, and all heās got going to find her is a shoe. A shoe.Ā