The Birds and the Bats

so apparently geese are like a huge thing on my university campus and today when i was fuckin walking to my 8am class i literally almost bumped into this goose asshole who was just sitting in the middle of the sidewalk honking at ppl and i have this fear of birds like. i hate them they hate me i will cross the street to avoid pigeons like its not a good relationship, me and birds. so i see this goos e literally 2ft away from me and this assfuck LOOKS at m e and he honKS HIS GOOSE HONK IN MY FACE AND I JUST FUCKING RAN. i saw in to the goose’s eyes and there was nothing but death and deceit in there alright so i fucking ran i didn’t even think i just ran and there were people watching but i didn’t care, they’re probablt dead now thanks 2 the goose alrght but i ran and i didn’t stop running and i almost fell and body checked like 7 people but idc i just fucking hate geese i hate birds i hate them all I HATE THME SO MUCH

I hereby dub Christopher Jones king of the completely non sexual ass shot

… I don’t know what I expected.