does baby need an alibi?

Because like, sir, you actually are dead. Like really fucking dead. I named my cat after you and you would love his chaos and the fact he answers to both his name and Demon.

I miss you so much sometimes. There is so much I want to tell you and I can’t. The world is never going to be the same without you. I hope you know this.

Today my human mom kicked me out of her room because she said she “needed a nap without a kitten sized heater” and told me to “go bother the spare human because he’s home now”

Like the purrfecf son I am, I promptly screamed outside of her bedroom door for ten min. while she established “boundaries”. I was in fact, just a baby left alone in the snow. The fact that it was 80 degrees today was irrelevant, I promise.

My screaming woke up my frenemie, Marcy. She is nice when she sleeps but when she is awake, she tries to eat me! Mom and the spare human both say she is trying to play and that she’s “just a puppy” but she gets me all wet, so I try to hide when she is “playing with me”

Mom says she doesn’t know what I expect when attack Marcy when she’s asleep and purr when she tries to eat me.

Spare Human said I am as scary as a “duckling” whatever that is. Whatever it is, it’s wrong because I am clearly very scary like a bear, or at least a goose or something.

Today has been full of Injustice, you understand

Ilya

PS Dad, @teelagurl558 if you read this I require attention, thanks.

Ilya is two months old

Ilya is really an orange cat in fancy dress

He only has one single braincell and he uses it for sass and violence.