Politics I guess

"In the years since Whipping Girl was published, the term “trans-misogyny” has taken on a life of its own, and people now use it in ways that I never

intended. Specifcally, I used the term to describe how the existence of societal

misogyny/traditional sexism greatly informs how people perceive, interpret,

or treat gender-variant people who seemingly “want to be female” or “want

to be feminine” (regardless of their actual identity). However, many people

nowadays use the word “trans-misogyny” in an identity-based manner to refer

to any and all forms of discrimination targeting trans women. According to

this latter usage, some would argue that people who identify as men, or male

crossdressers, or drag queens, cannot possibly experience trans-misogyny—a

close reading of Whipping Girl will reveal that I very much disagree with this

premise. (See Chapter 48 of this book for a detailed explanation regarding why

identity-based views of marginalization tend to be inaccurate and exclusive.)

Along similar lines, I have observed people using “trans-misogyny” as

shorthand to suggest that “trans men are privileged, and trans women oppressed, end of story.” I reject such oversimplifcations for the very same reasons that I rejected earlier reciprocal claims (which were quite prevalent back

when I was writing Whipping Girl) that “trans women experience male privilege, whereas trans men do not.” Male and masculine privileges can provide

very real advantages to those who are granted them. But this does not mean

that those who experience said privileges automatically have it easy, are fully

accepted by society, and/or are immune from other forms of marginalization

(e.g., transphobia).

It should also be said that trans-misogyny (in my original conceptualization of the term) was not intended to suggest that trans female/feminine folks

experience misogyny whereas trans male/masculine folks do not. Obviously,

trans male/masculine individuals may experience misogyny at various points

throughout their lives, including post-transition (e.g., if their trans status is

discovered). Once again, what I was trying to convey with “trans-misogyny” is

how the widespread presumption that femaleness and femininity are inferior

to, or less legitimate than, maleness and masculinity, creates assumptions, stereotypes, and obstacles for trans female/feminine people that are not generally

experienced by those on the trans male/masculine spectrum (unless, of course,

post-transition they are read by others as a man who wants, or is trying, to be

female and/or feminine).

I was interested in articulating trans-misogyny because it both accounted

for how people on the trans female/feminine spectrum tend to face the lion’s

share of sensationalization, consternation, and demonization in mainstream

considerations of trans people, and also helped to make sense of the disparities

in acceptance of trans men versus trans women that existed within my own

queer women’s community during the time (as I alluded to at the end of the

last chapter). To be clear, I don’t think that this disparity was solely due to

trans-misogyny, but it most certainly was a contributing factor.3

Over the years, I have occasionally come across people who will protest

that lesbians in their community don’t accept trans men at all, or that trans

women are accepted in their own queer women’s community to the same extent as (or perhaps even more so than) trans men. I don’t doubt that these

confgurations exist—in fact, in my mind they seem to form a continuum over

time, with the former being extremely common during the ’80s and ’90s, and

the latter resembling where we may slowly be heading. But throughout most

of the ’00s, especially in U.S. urban queer women’s communities, the disparity

that I describe in these pieces was extremely commonplace, if not ubiquitous.

I am perfectly fne with the idea of trans male/masculine people participating in (what are ostensibly) queer women’s communities. What I was primarily objecting to in some of the chapters that follow is how that participation

tended to be practiced—for instance, how some trans men’s emphasis of their

former status (e.g., as “girls” or “lesbians”) encouraged others to continue using

trans women’s former “male” status against us; or how lesbians who excluded

trans women would so frequently point to trans men in the space in order to

make the claim that they couldn’t possibly be “transphobic.” It is this latter

claim (which I heard scores upon scores of times back then) that seemed to

necessitate the coining of an entirely new trans female/feminine-specifc term.

To be honest, I am not sure that I would have gravitated toward the neologism

“trans-misogyny” if it were not for my activist work challenging this particular

disparity."

Please be cautious if you are a trans man, especially if you are meeting with people for casual sex or going on dates with strangers. As a trans men who's a SW I get these men occasionally book me, including one man who secretly filmed part of our booking and uploaded it to a porn site. I found the video by chance while looking for trans masc porn, and the tags were a mix of misogyny kink tags and things like 'fakeboy' 'tranny' and 'humiliation'. It goes without saying that was not an easy or safe booking for me at the time either.

It's so jarring to me how differently I'm treated after years on testosterone. I still have long hair, wear jewelry, wear colourful clothes etc. I wear more jewelry now than I did pre T. Before I started T I was out as non-binary, not as a trans man, but I was in effect seen and treated as a woman. When I came out as a man very early on t people still were not comfortable calling me he. Almost everyone around me was suddenly onto it with they/them pronouns as a compromise instead. The way I dressed, the accessories I wore, the way I styled my hair etc were just proof I was not really a full man. Now I have a deep voice, facial hair, I go to the gym, my chest and stomach are hairy. All things that are just a result of my body changing, not my presentation or aesthetic choices. Suddenly I'm taken much more seriously as a man. The way I dress is subversive. It's 'masculine' because guys have long hair too and apparently it looks masculine on me. If I refer to myself as feminine people say "I wouldn't really say you are feminine" etc. All that changed was my body. All that changed was the privilege of accessing HRT, and the genetic luck I've had with what changes I got and how fast. And a pretty dedicated gym routine, but I was always active and toned pre t anyway.

It makes me feel really sad looking back on past me, who had to choose between being taken seriously or being myself the way I really was. My passions, my joys. Who could have given up everything to perform masculinity and still not actually been taken seriously. I'm not leaving the majority of our community behind when I talk about and advocate for trans men. I'm not leaving my past self behind. There are so many barriers and obstacles between us and hrt even for the people who do want to go that path, but testosterone is not the be all end all of manhood.