Faggotron 3000

U guys are like Tumblr users to me

Lemony Snicket was so right when he said you never regret bringing a book, but you often regret not having one.

this sucks so bad i need to (remembers suicide jokes only make my mental health worse) join a secret society revolving around elaborate eye motifs, literature and also fire-fighting

shawn should’ve been canonically bisexual. “i’ve heard it both ways” is a banger slogan for a bisexual guy

if you complete one task off your to do list you should be allowed 3 days of chilling afterwards as a reward

Actually, no, I don't think that friendships dropping like flies in your late 20s and early 30s because no one has time for that between overwork and family obligations and marriage and kids and partners and the ritual of the time slayer is normal and ok. No I don't think deep conversations and spontaneous adventures being replaced with a tired coffee every six months is a normal part of growing up. I don't think that emotional intimacy and soul bonds disintegrating in the face of practical inconvenience is a fact of life. I think that means something is deeply deeply wrong with our society and I will never forgive it for the friends I've lost

the thing they don't prepare you for in adulthood is the sheer amount of granola you're going to find yourself enticed to consume. especially if theres yogurt and fruit involved. i could be like oh i'm not hungry right now but if i see that parfait with some honey granola maybe some craisins in it im immediately like. yeah i could eat that

They should invent a cry for help that has zero negative effects on anybody and also that makes everyone treat you like a little animal in a cardboard box. But everyone’s cool with it because you’re a cute little animal and not an adult human that needs to get their shit together to stay alive