is this humor, or is this justice?

edgar allen poe’s famous short story, ‘bird tells me to fuck off in my own home’

honestly “i’ll do whatever you want” “then perish” is the single most powerful exchange possible in the english language and it’s from some bizarre “hewwo” obama rp

And there was that other post where someone dreamt that Obama said “violence for violence is the rule of beasts” like what is it about Obama that makes people come up with such raw fucking dialogue for him

my mother had a dream where he lived in the forest and she had a cigarette with him and he said “to become god is the loneliest achievement of them all” and put it out and walked into the mist and i’ve never fucking forgotten that

Reboot this post to be blessed with dream Obama’s wisdom

im going to the forest does anybody want anything? 

pined cone

THIS COMPILATION IS ART

lads had a dream last night that i was at the elton john concert and halfway through crocodile rock he switched to a prince medley and real live flesh and blood prince walked out on stage, and into the stunned, hushed silence i said quietly, “i thought you were dead” and he looked straight at me through the crowds of a million people, put his mouth against the mic, and said “do i look like the kind of man who dies” absolute legend 

This wasn’t a dream this was a premonition

In this world it’s yeet or be yeeted

yeeten?

YOOT

The only advice I have for anyone is make peace with your tits 

Titty sweat and all?

Titty sweat and all

Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest that just sounds nice and cozy, but if I invite you to my cabin in the woods you’re going to die.

My favourite is explaining the difference between a butt dial and a booty call

It’s called connotations.

great news! Language is now banned

Lmaoooo

She’s so broke

im not even gonna ask who bc i already know its me

people that own chickens are trustworthy

chickens own themselves

you’re completely right and i’m a fool