Jun 10, 2020
#i think it’s about time for me to log out again i can’t really handle thinking about the past#without getting an overwhelming feeling of nostalgia and other bittersweet emotions#sometimes i really dont make sense to myself.#all i know is that i just want to experience life with people thst i love#there is nothing better than connecting with another human being. to me thats reslly the human experience#i dont know why i am so upset about lost friendships and old memories. its quite confusing for me#i am just so grateful i have something to look back on. i have really been blessed in my life with so many gifts. so many great people.#i have experienced so much happiness and im only so young#thjs sounds like a s******* note more than a diary entry jeez louis why am i going so hard#i just have a pit in my stomach when i think about the person i used to be#not because i dont like her but because i can never be her again#thsts not a bad thing. its just how everything works when you grow#i wish i knew that random nights or sleepovers were going to be one of the memories i cherished the most in high school#i wouldve lived in each moment just a little bit more.#i have to trust that if something is meant for me then it will happen. i genuinely trust this and know itll help me when i get upset about#the past#sometimes i feel like my heart is going to explode with emotion and this really is one of those times#not sure when ill log back on but to my future self heres a note#we have been through so much happiness and pain and heartbreak and honestly it’s really crazy to think that we lived ...#living is a hard thing to do. takes a lot of resilience#i hope that in the future you figure out what makes you happy at least more than you know now#i also hope that the future has blessed you with what you need at the time#and i hope youre not coming back because youre sad. remember how much youve grown and how much love you know how to cultivate now#not just for yourself but for others too. remember to stay soft even though it is so much easier to harden up.#i love you! i really do love you.
