Ok

not gonna lie, when i saw that a cybertruck had exploded i legit didn't realize it was some sort of premeditated thing, i just thought it was just another extreme flaw in it's design. i had no idea fireworks were involved, i honest to god thought it just did that on its own

Oh god it’s the same lesson again in a different form

you stick your fingers in my cage... my pitch black cage. you feel something cold and wet...you retract your fingers and to your horror you realize i painted your nails! :) i hope you like them

hey I noticed that your jerk off fantasies of me haven't been as ambiguously violent based off convoluted world building or steeped in bone-deep guilt lately. are you mad at m

"Is it normal to-" Doesn't matter. Do it weird if it isn't hurting anyone

I hate calling in sick I don't want to inform anyone about my abnormal bowel movements

I love it. I call them up and say hey bossman I'm camped out on the shitter today yeehaw

you are so beautiful in every way

We will get married on a windswept cliff and the dinner will be easily digestible

saddest thing that can happen is a cat so delicately and cozy putting their small apple head on your leg like a pillow to sleep while fully unaware that in like five minutes you're going to get up to go eat because they don't know human language or how time works

I need to be the most fuckable person on this public transport

Sword w cellphone charms

AND: if any of these are not met, what are the consequences?

I start killing hostages.

sorry im late i got tied with rope to train tracks and it was this whole thing

early to bed and early to rise leaves a man so fucked up that he dies