OBSERVATIONS FROM THE BRIDGE @fromthehighbridge-blog - Tumblr Blog

The light goes on

and the light goes off

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I think i'm free now

I've had a night that i've been dreading for weeks, months maybe. A conversation i've had nightmares about...more maybe just a conversation about something that gave me nightmares. I was...crushed. confused, humiliated, FURIOUS, but mostly just...crushed. For a while I was a complete wreck. I might still be, in some ways. As in, I might loathe every subsequent 4th of July; the last two have been just...more than I can mentally or emotionally deal with right now. But then I thought something else. Sitting on the backyard deck of my duplex, by myself, wondering why that weird red-flickering star is in a different spot than last night, I thought a completely different way. Different than "i hate myself/the last year was a huge mistake/nothing will ever be okay again/I wish I could go into sleep mode like a PC for the next ... indefinitely". "...Maybe, I'm free now." When your worst fear comes to fruition and you feel as wretched as you ever can, what else is there? You can no longer fear something that's already upon you. It would make no sense. You don't have to dread it anymore and it will no longer eat at your mind, wrapping it in anxiety. Something previously looming off in the distance, haunting your future, is now in the past. And in that way, i'm free now. I sat in the dark watching that star flicker (I think I need to name it, it's kept me company this week) and felt the strangest calm after the storm. I guess i'm free now? Of course, we'll see in the morning how I feel. Unfortunately you can't just decide to be liberated; you can't control where your mind and heart wander all the time. But for now...I guess I can be comforted by this unfortunate stroke of luck. Happy independence day, guys.

Dear Internet, I think Rob Thomas is a fantastic songwriter.

"Reach down your in your pocket/pull out some hope for me"

HNNGGGG

warning: this matchbox 20 phase of mine might get out of hand this week

#brofessionals #90s #things nobody cares about except me

everyone should be like this guy at least once a day

happiness must come from inside yourself

and stuff

(this gif is hopefully working since it's the only file format I just don't understand at all)

#infotainment

somebody please bring me pancakes that's all I want

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Hhhhhnnnnnggggggggggggg

#hhhhnnnnggggggg

1. "Reliving" the event, which disturbs day-to-day activity

Flashback episodes, where the event seems to be happening again and again

Repeated upsetting memories of the event

Repeated nightmares of the event

Strong, uncomfortable reactions to situations that remind you of the event

2. Avoidance

Emotional "numbing," or feeling as though you don't care about anything

Feeling detached

Being unable to remember important aspects of the trauma

Having a lack of interest in normal activities

Showing less of your moods

Avoiding places, people, or thoughts that remind you of the event

Feeling like you have no future

3. Arousal

Difficulty concentrating

Startling easily

Having an exaggerated response to things that startle you

Feeling more aware (hypervigilance)

Feeling irritable or having outbursts of anger

Having trouble falling or staying asleep

#ptsd #fear #lent

thepaintedbench

fromthehighbridge-blog

let us go then, you and I

with the evening spread against the sky

#northern lights #aurora borealis #where I want to be right now

On the other hand...

death-defying acts of puppy-dom

#puppy #PUPPY!#completely adorable #and hilarious #death-defying acts

"they've never been in a plane, but they can tell you what's beyond the clouds, and that's what the dusty foot philosopher is"

I've been holed away in academia-land for days stroking my nerd boner beneath the twin radiances of free speech theory and an increasingly nihilistic worldview

(actually I've been at the Blue Door about 8 times in the last 6 days don't tell my advisor)

...And I've reached the conclusion that I would just like to earn a phD (or maybe two of them), and then grab my hiking boots and disappear from respectable circles and carry on with life as usual raising hell or baking bread or whatever it is I'm probably meant to be doing

I want to carry the ivory tower with me in my backpack

#highly personal and incoherent rants

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This one is obviously my favorite, but Dr. Robert really not the spokesman I want out there when it comes to marijuana users in the public eye trying to demonstrate that stoners are people too.

#marijuana legalization #obscure beatles references #seattle #space needle

ponchopeligroso

ERRYBODY KNOWS I’M A MOTHAFUCKIN MONSTER

fromthehighbridge-blog

I like my __________ like I like my coffee: ground up and in the freezer.

#bad jokes #bad coffee

"Get the fuck out of Gaza, Anderson. You're a national treasure."

#anderson cooper #gaza #sassy tweets

ATTENTION EVERYBODY: MARLON BRANDO.

THAT IS ALL.

#marlon brando #beauty #black and white #film

nevver

fromthehighbridge-blog

I lol'd. My boss (one of my bosses, at one of his jobs) has this posted at the entrance to his office.

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Jose Mujica: Official G of the Century

But for real though, this bro?

hero status.

READ READ READ.

(on a totally related note, he also might be the world's most adorable president)

#consumerism #politics #jose mujica #uruguay #classism

sophiawallace

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