🐸🔪

hey so anyone else just, feel thin. sort of stretched. like butter scraped over too much bread. like you need a holiday. a very long holiday. and you don't expect you shall return? or is that just me and bilbo baggins

Little Pepsi boy

anyways good night i’m gonna go indulge in my unrealistic romantic fantasies until i fall asleep

I NEED all the hugely popular blatantly fake posts from 2012 - 2014 right now

“you all are great people, and what you’re doing is art, but it’s also a crime punishable by 28 days in prison” is a real sentence that got said to me tonight by a security officer i think i’m living my best life

oh god !!! i was frying an egg and my penis simply fell into the pan !!! oof ouch ahh hot hot oof ouch

I can be your Ellen the generous 😇.. or your Ellen degenerate 😈