it aint easy bein green

A little blue and yellow penguin wearing a blue and yellow propeller beanie waddled out of a little blue and yellow house. This was his house. He knew this because he knew his mom was there, waiting for him and his friends to be done with their game so that they could all share something yummy.

He gently closed the screen door, running out onto the porch and opened his mouth to talk, but stopped.

Something felt… wrong. But nothing was! There was the big tree and his sandbox, and the bright yellow slide, the picnic bench and the bright blue sky with only the right amount of fluffy white clouds- Everything was right where it should be, so why did something feel like it was missing. He put a flipper to his cheek, patting it as he thought.

What was he going to say?

His name maybe… His name was Pablo! He knew this, so why did he want to say it to the great green grass and boring brown fence?

Normally when he and his friends entered the backyard, they were teleported to anywhere or anytime they wanted- this magic would fill their senses and they would sing, but no music played today.

Funny.. But not funny haha, funny weird.

Something else was missing too, he could feel it. But there wasn't! He just checked! A strange feeling started collecting in his chest. It wasnt sad- but it wasnt happy either- it almost felt like.. Nothing.

Thinking about it was starting to hurt his head. Already exhausted, the youngest of the bunch let himself fall into the soft blades beneath him, the scent of dew shadowing the spiral in his brain as he stared longingly up into the blue. Maybe what he was searching for was up there somewhere.

Underneath the buzzing mothwings of thoughts, a door opened and then closed. Pablo didn’t bother to move.

Tyrone had bounded out of his own house, fairly certain he knew just where in the world they would be exploring until he saw his friend. With a shrug he walked over to where the penguin lay.

“Hey Pablo! Are we going to Mars again?”

No response. He didn't even look at him.

“Uhh.. Pablo?? You there?”

His eyes fluttered slightly as he was pulled out of his trance. His eyes still stayed locked on the blue expanse above them.

“Yeah? Oh- Hey Tyrone.”

“What are you doing?”

“Looking at the sky.”

“Why?”

There was a long pause, an uneasiness starting to descend upon the moose.

“I.. don't know.” There was a quiver to his voice, he sounded unsure, even scared. Was this the game? Had something happened? Pablo usually wasn't the one to shrink away in fear- sure he would panic sometimes but he had gotten better about the episodes. This was different in a way that worried him.

The older looked around, lost. They were alone out here, just himself and he. He could have ran inside to get one of their parents but, in all honesty, he wasn't sure leaving him like this was a great idea. Without a word, he slowly took the space next to his friend, laying back as he followed his gaze.

He was never usually this still or this quiet for this long. Tyrone played with his fingers, wringing them around each other absentmindedly. He wanted to say something to make it better, but how could he if he didn't know what was wrong?

Another door swung open, the sound alerting him. Uniqua was practically barreling towards them, her smile contagious. He sat up, waving at her. She waved back, unaware of the current situation.

“Hey guys! What are you laying on the ground for, are we going to space again?

Smile dropping a little, Tyrone’s eyes drifted back down to the penguin.

“Well… not exactly.”

The pink creature who was all her own followed his gaze.

Pablo had not moved an inch, his usually bright, curious eyes had dimmed, tears brimming at the corners from not blinking. He looked serious, far too serious for a child his age.

Uniqua sat down at his other side, passing a hand in front of his face to get his attention.

“Uhh.. Earth to Pablo? Everything alright, down there Squirt?”

Their voices barely registered in his occupied brain. All he could manage was a shrug. This was repetitive, he knew it was but something was anchoring him to the earth with no way to lift it.

The wind blew through the trees, an ominous whisper hinting to things unspoken. Pablo sat up, a thought began to form from the static of his mind and in the emptiness. It became clear that this was the reason for his strangeness. Maybe the others would know why it bothered him so, why he felt like something or someone was missing.

“What happens when you die?”

The question was like a punch to the gut, sudden and weighted. Tyrone and Uniqua turned to each other, unsure and concerned.

“What made you ask that?’

Just from the tone, Pablo knew he messed up somehow. He shrank into himself a little, flippers rasing just enough to lay on his chest.

“I-I dont know, I just,” his mouth went dry, just enough to make it difficult to cary on, but he did, because he needed to.

“I wanna know. Nothing can stop it even if you love them and they won’t ever come back.”

His eyes tore away from the sky, shifting them to linger on Uniqua and then Tyrone.

“What if they forget about us?”

Little tears made tracks down his feathered cheeks. Something was deeply wrong. Someone wasn’t here anymore and he didn't know who or why he knew, but he did and he missed them.

The others were at a loss for words. They’d never seen their friend like this, didn't have the right words for they never had to. What they did know however, was that Pablo needed them. Simultaneously, they wrapped their arms around his shivering body, bringing him as close to them as their little arms could.

“Oh little buddy. You can’t forget someone you love, no matter what happens. “

“Exactly. And even if you can’t see them, they won’t leave you because you’ll have stories and memories about them.”

The littlest sniffled, whipping one eye.

“Yeah.. I guess.”

“And it's okay to miss them too. That just means they meant a lot to you.”

Tyrone nodded in agreement, “Right. And you never have to miss somebody by yourself. Not while we’re around.”

For the first time that day, the pressure lifted from his chest just a little. He laid a flipper on one of each of his friend’s hands, his eyes closing his eyes and letting their comforting warmth sooth his fears.

The music never did play. Maybe tomorrow they would sing and dance like they usually did, but for now, he would just belong.

~~~

Wow uh..

Hey guys lol

I've been feeling weird for a little while-

The only way I can explain it is that grief has been growing on me like mold. With personal losses, the loss of our beloved Janice Burgess, and with the state of our world, things are bleak.

So I tried shifting gears, try a new perspective. Kids are resilient after all. They understand a lot more than we give them credit for.