FrittzyKitty

the etymological term for the penit zipper on your jeans is the "cloaca"

the hosts on old animal planet or discovery channel shows used to always be like "i just arrived in the desert 5 minutes ago so it's almost been an hour and that's like nearly 5 hours and that's kinda like half a day when you think about it and that's almost a full day and at that point it's almost been 3 days, and you can't go 3 days without water. i'll be so thirsty and dehydrated soon that i'll have to drink piss" or they'll like get to a beach and like second 1 will be like "i think i see a jelly fish over there, let's hope i don't step on it because then you'll have to piss on me and we wouldn't want that, but just incase that does happen we should practice you pissing on me now so we know how to do it later" like i just want to see the animals in the location you're at why are you making this weird

yo i just opened a dragon ball fruit snack pouch and there was 8 grape vegetas! i'm basically not even suicidal anymore!

pros and cons of hiring me: pros: - look into my eyes - listen to my voice - - look deep into my eyes and listen to my slow voice - you are getting very very sleepy - - so sleepy - you are so tired that you can barely keep your eyes open - you want to hire me - - you want to employ me - - - you want to give me money cons: - i have no cons

I couldn't fathom how it must feel to be the creator seeing the fan reaction to the the the the the the thehhte hte h hehth hh thehhtethhhhethhe hthte the thing. The thing, you know what I mean. The thing. Must be some crazy feelings bouncing back and fourth, thoughts spinning around like roulette. huh.

when i was a young boy my best friend was this mess of vines and thorns filled with skeletons and trash in the woods behind my house that all talked in unison in one pained voice and they told me stories of heroes from a long long time ago who knew of the incoming darkness and fell trying to save us from it and in turn i showed them tv shows on the go with game boy advance video and they said that was "cool as shit" and one day i tried to show them sponge bob square pants revenge of the flying dutchman on game boy advance but when i went to our usual spot the skeletons had bloomed into roses and i have never seen them since.

the "voice" and the clawing sounds coming from your sink drain are not real but if it keeps up this chit-chat and scritch-scratch you gotta turn the hot water on full blast until it remembers who's house this is

getting into reading this book series called the bible and dawg the fandom is so toxic