Lots of Podcasts In Here

Anyways Ilya is like boys please my intended will be there keep it classy we will drink we will party I will go back to the rental when I say so you will not dare me to do more shots and there will be NO strip clubs and everyone nods and says sure Roz. They decide hiring a very well reviewed pole dancing professional who happens to dress very sparingly to come to the house they rented is very classy.

The lady shows up (they considered trying to find a guy stripper but in the end they’re hockey bros who chickened out, and besides it’s ilya is obsessed with his fiancée he won’t actually care that much plus it’s tradition etc etc they chickened out) and Ilya calls a team huddle in the other room to quietly chew the responsible party out. He’s like you guys are embarrassing me in front of the love of my life bc secretly he’s a bit worried this will throw Shane’s insecurities about the possibility of Ilya having a “normal” life in his face. Also Shane isn’t a prude but he’s worried Shane’s going to spiral over being in a situation so against his image with witnesses!!!

Then they come back, probably to tell the poor lady she can pack up and go and they’ll still pay her for the night. Only Shane is like, casually chatting while she puts her pole setup together. She’s a little confused bc most people like to ignore her or are already drunk and rowdy during this part but Shane is full “dad talking about a DIY project” stance and asking about how she decides where is stable enough for the pole talking about wall studs in new builds and all that shit. And actually compared to most bachelors where everyone is half wasted she’s actually enjoying talking about her work on a technical level.

Not to mention they start talking logistics of pole dancing and Shane lights up when he realizes how athletic it can get, asking what kind of workouts or practice schedule she does. They compare best post-performance bruise stories and Shane recommends a stretch routine that works for him after a game that was really hard on his knees. The rest of the group is standing there like 🧍‍♂️until they get roped into the conversation and instead of doing a whole performance the lady ends up showing them moves/tricks on request and explaining how she does them. She even shows a few she’s been working on but hasn’t gotten down quiet yet just for fun.

Everyone has had a few drinks at this point and she tells them it’s actually great exercise maybe they should cross train lol and Shane-who cannot resist exercise-is like I bet it’s great core work do you think that one move uses the same muscles as… long story short he’s up there locked in as hell nodding along to her every word learning pole dancing basics. Ilya is obviously burning with lust. He apologizes for getting mad at the guys. He maybe hasn’t blinked in 15 minutes. He wishes no one else was here right now but he’s afraid if he moves it’ll spook Shane.

Everyone is just chilling, having fun, some of the other dudes get curious and take turns learning a move or two

The workers are like “omg you’re petting Gertrude, she hates being pet” and he says “oh she loves it, you just have to prop up her front legs on your lap and leave her back legs on the floor and only pet the back half she doesn’t like her neck or shoulders being touched. Also she’s more okay with you if you pet Molly first she trusts Mollys judge of character.”

-the bellboy thing extended edition

-rookie x vet player

-Ilya seducing Shane away from his unsatisfying partner (Shane’s idea) who doesn’t understand/appreciate his beautiful personality like Ilya does (Ilya’s addition bc he loves to make it romantic)

-housewife Ilya

-winning each other as a prize for awards

- stripper x patron (it takes Shane a while to hit his stride with the dancing on his turn but my man commits to the bit so he gets there eventually and Ilya is toast)

-award winning chef Ilya x picky patron Shane (there’s a meaner, competitive version and a doesn’t want to make a fuss/notices he needs a special menu version)

-rivals in a different field

-Ilya, insecure from his recent unexpected divorce x his way too dedicated new personal assistant Shane who would Do Anything for him

-love at first sight meet cute (this is a week long event where they pretend to have just met the whole time)

- literally chasing each other through the woods and wrestling like animals. It’s not even really roleplay they just do that in the spur of the moment once

-college tutor

-in the middle of a game (they recreate it best they can in the home rink, with like uniforms and crowd noise on a speaker and everything)

Like they didn’t think they were that foul mouthed until Shane is old enough to start picking up their mannerisms and they’re watching a game one evening and someone lands a beautiful goal and David whistles and goes “holy shit”

Only for little cherub-faced Shane to huff out a little breath (baby can’t whistle yet) and say “holy ssit” and Yuna and David both laugh so hard they think they might have to call an ambulance. And they know they shouldn’t encourage it but not allowing him to swear would be an uphill battle of hypocrisy. Plus is so stinking cute when David gets cut off in traffic and Shane, buckled into his car seat, mutters “dumbass” the same way Yuna does.

1)Boston

2)Ottawa