Whumperless Whump Event - Day 28
Day 28 â When The Night's Out To Get You: Nightmares / Chronic insomnia / "I'll stay awake, you can sleep."
Note: This is longer than I though it would be, and took even longer to write - RIP sleep. Don't know how good the setting is coming across, but I hope you like it <3
The first time in happened Youngest had only been with the team for 6 months. Still very unsure of his place in the team and at Leaders side. Scared to be send back to the streets. Scared to make errors to lose the feeling of belonging to someone.
So as he was on a mission with Leader where they had to share a bedroom. And Youngest awoke in the middle of the night from the tossing and turning of Leader. As a pained âNoâŚâ followed out of Leaders mouth, Youngest became really concerned.
Was⌠was Leader having a nightmare? Youngest knew what that was like. He hated it. The whole you didnât know what was real, the fear, the sweat that came with it. And the worst part was the vulnerability.
You just could not process the real world at the same time, as the fear of the nightmare kept your attention. And even afterwards, it was still so difficult to focus on anything. In his times on the streets, being alone, this was the most dangerous time. But⌠at the same time it was uncomfortable, even embarrassing to be seen in this state of mind.
It happened to Youngest himself only some weeks ago, and as Leader woke him up, and he had time to process everything, he was so embarrassed, that Leader saw him in that state. He didnât want to be seen as a child, but as a team member, and he was scared that him having nightmares would convince Leader that he just wasnât worthy.
But know it seems that their roles were reversed. Should he wake Leader too? But he was really sure, that Leader wouldnât want him to know of this. Leader seldom showed any emotions, he was always the perfect leader, if he was feeling anything, he didnât like anyone to know.
And nightmares⌠nightmares were full of feelings. Nobody knew better than Youngest himself. Nightmares were full of vulnerability. Something Leader never showed him before.
So Youngest came to the conclusion that it would not be right to show Leader that he knew what was happening. So he just laid there and as Leader jolted upright, out of the nightmare, he didnât move and tried to let it look as if he was still fast asleep.
Only as the heard Leader splashing himself with some water and then leaving the room he was driven into movement. Even if he knew Leader was more than capable of looking after himself, he just wanted him protected, because he knew of the vulnerability after nightmares.
So Youngest just followed him outside, but stayed way out of view and range, so Leader wouldnât notice him. Keeping silent watch.
The Second time it happened was in the same setting, only a year later, where Youngest already found his place in the team. And was sure that Leader wouldnât send him away over something small.
So as he heard Leader turning and tossing again, he asked loudly into the room, âLeader? Is everything okay?â This made Leader jolt out of his dream, breathing hard. He needed some time so get back to the presence. So Youngest waited and asked again, âLeader?â
Leader stood up, took some water and said short and coarsely, âFine. Go back to sleep.â Youngest understood it as it was meant - an order. But after Leader once again left the room to go outside he disregarded it and followed Leader outside. To once again keep a silent watch over his unsuspecting mentor.
The third time was once again a year later. Youngest knew that Leader treasured his presence in the team and at his side, even if he didnât say so, and hated to show it. But Youngest learnt to understand him really well.
As once again Leader started to toss and turn and murmur pained ânoâsâ, Youngest wanted to be at his side. Carefully he knelt and touched Leader at his shoulder to wake him with a really low spoken, âLeader, wake up!â
This brought Leader out of his nightmare gentler that jolting upright, but he was still disorientated. âWhat?â he asked with a really hoarse voice. Youngest made his best try to reassure him, âEverythingâs fine. Nightmare?â
Leader didnât answer his one word question, so Youngest pressed a bottle of water in his hands and stood back up. He already knew Leader would make his way outside to calm himself, but Leader didnât have to know that he knew that.
So he let Leader leave by himself, and gave him some minutes before following. As he stepped outside he saw Leader sitting on a boulder, head in his hands. Which showed him once again, that it was as always the right choice to watch over him.
But this time he did not content himself with watching from afar. He learnt in the meantime, that while Leader hated to admit to feelings, he had them like every other being. So Leader would not admit to need support, and he didnât need it, but nevertheless he could provide some and Youngest was sure it would help.
So this time he made his way over to Leader, making some noise on the way, to not startle him. And without any additional words he just sat down next to him at Leaderâs feet, his shoulder just lightly touching Leaderâs knee. He didnât say anything. He wanted to just be there.
And after a time he felt a soft really light touch from Leaderâs hand on his shoulder. Leaderâs way of showing he was appreciated which made Youngest smile softly. Really glad he learnt to understand Leader correctly and happy he was helping after all.
~~~ Author comment: I have the feeling this prompts are getting harder and harder. I am writing for myself, because I have to practice my english, but I sometimes I would really love to get a reaction. Thanks for the people liking <3