Beautiful Breakdown

How can emptiness be so heavy?

Pain makes you stronger. Fear makes you braver. Heartbreak makes you wiser.

I’m sorry you had to deal with me on my darkest days.

what i like about her is that she blooms whether you water her or not. whether you give her light or not. she exists without your existence.

I hope you wake up one day and you’ll roll over, half asleep and reach for me only to find the empty sheets. And I hope you lose your breath and I hope you lay there now fully awake, and think “fuck why did I ever leave her.” I hope you’ll lose sleep over me the way I did over you.

I wish I was as strong as everyone thinks I am.

1. I just don’t care anymore. I care about you as a person, sure. I always will. But not as my person. 2. I no longer feel butterflies in my stomach when you text me, only apprehension and confusion. 3. Your life no longer impacts me; there is no “us.” 4. I always thought of you as an appendage to me and so when you left instead of sadness it felt more like phantom limb syndrome, but it doesn’t hurt like it used to. 5. I will always miss you a little; I will miss the person I first met and the opportunities we once had. But that was the old you, and I don’t think the old you is coming back. 6. I never fantasized about having your last name next to mine or scribbled it into the margins of my notebook, and maybe that says something about the future we never really had together. 7. Each day I find myself thinking of you less and less and maybe one day I won’t think about you at all. 8. I thought we could be friends; I thought I would need your companionship, but we were never friends and we probably never will be. 9. I finally threw out the pictures of us together. I had been so afraid that if I threw out the pictures I would be throwing out those moments too, but memories aren’t disposable. I will always cherish them, but I don’t need them anymore.   10. The human skin replenishes every 27 days. My mind remembers you, my heart remembers you, but my skin has never met you. It has never felt your hand on it while you laughed at one of my jokes. It has never felt you dig your fingers into my neck when you tried to keep me. I don’t think it ever will, and that’s ok with me.

Why are people so fake?

Expect only of yourself, Not of someone else.

I hope something reminds you of me, and it breaks your fucking heart.