It's actually imperative that you are open and proud of your attraction to fat people and bodies

anytime im playing on a TF2 server and i want to throw it into chaos I ask "which merc do you think would make the best husband?" it doesn't matter if the server is filled with straight men. everyone has a very strong opinion on this.

i very clearly yelled grenade while throwing it

Please keep interacting with this post because when I come to tumblr to procrastinate, this shows up again in my notifications and guilts me into writing again

i literally love saying "ON IT BOSS!!!!!" whenever someone asks me to do something like i'm some sort of henchman. it doesn't matter if they're my boss or not for real even because in the moment they are, and whatever they requested of me i'm on it

The British Library Puts 1,000,000 Images into the Public Domain, Making Them Free to Reuse & Remix

omg yay!

you are fifteen thousand generations removed from stone tools

to be clear you are fifteen thousand generations removed from the invention of stone tools. not from the end of stone tools. modern humans are still using stone tools.

I thought you meant we were descendents -of- stone tools

your father was a handaxe and your mother smelt of microliths

kind of weird how parts of your soul are left in various locations without any warning… like yes i’m always at the top of that hill, sitting at the bus stop, in the cool light of the Japanese restaurant, standing at the pier etc etc

do not start gambling. go outside and locate a bug. now post it on inaturalist. bam. nature's gacha game