frengulon

i wanna start a tag game (first time woah)…

last photo in your camera roll and why (or second to last if the photo is something you aren’t comfortable putting online)

i love these reaction pics and my irl friend sent me a whole bunch of them, this was just the last one

tags: @l1fe1sp0ppli0 @biancanotfound @imgonnacryalltheusersaretaken @totallyestrogen @sha1mon @thatglitchfan @rin-yaps @boobadomo @mybloodi5purple @eternal-dead-girl @fangz2sweet @daughterofdeath28 @witch-hazel13 @v0xedblr @xxartsylavenderxx & anyone else

me and my friend in Genshin a while ago (i had a mod that turned Mika into an amoung us)

tags 🔖 @kqngel @m3dicated-bun @cantfuckingremember @d0ki-d0ki-k0k0 @d0g-b0n3z @zandreaming @opossum-ina-trashcan @loversbruises @el1as1sd3ad @boy-fail @boytoyfailure @ang3lofsorrow @angelsamaranth @luck4ndr0tt1ngh0p3 @yumemirui @zup3rdup3rfr3ak @rotting-idol @jirai-haruhiz @jiraihimedanshi @pr1nc3sh0rtc4k3 @astralovesrugs @thrashtheploy @sleepymeowzidol @shslcyuutie @nursicidal @anaxagorasfan

I was on Pinterest whilst on call with Boyfi. Saw this and thought “omg us”

Tags: @loversbruises Boyfi obviously…hiii hii hiii I love youuu

@yumemirui @y0ur-valent1ne @1-am-the-light @utt3rly-s3lfish @princespousal @filthprince @coffee--spill @acicadahumsitshymn @jirai-haruhiz @withering-lotus + open tags

Did something on @ny4n--s0d4 basically

uuuhh im joy & whimsy maxxing & i like spongebob ghats about it (⸝⸝•ᴗ•⸝⸝) ❀

Why he so sad

mine's just a screenshot of the edge://surf game cuz my dad thought i couldn't make it past 1000 haha :D

Uh look I have a friend who really likes Miku so I was gonna make her something and use this as a reference…. Im not really a fan of Miku myself except like maybe I know theee song maybe four ….

tags undercut and also open tags to anyone who wants to join

the bugs!! <3

open tags! (who i'm tagging below the cut) :) /nf

I don’t think i need to explain this.

It’s Peru!

lol I took a quick pick for reference while I fight because my memory is bad

I thought the cheese might not leak out if I propped it up. I was right heh

Recipe screenshot!!! Both sound so good lol, I want to make them.

a little guy i made to help me study for my finals!

My travel buddy!! (We packing 2niteeee)

I don't remember why I downloaded this

Let me preface this by saying I don't believe the accusations. Now hold your horses before you start typing- I believe that the person who started this harassment campaign believes their lack of consent was ignored. However, I've also talked to my friend and learned that the "lack of consent" was only clarified AFTER the fact- and only sometimes-, and made out to be just having a bad day. There wasn't clear communication on either side, neither of them ever verbally consented to anything, and no one is obligated to be a mind-reader.

I don't believe my friend is the kind of person who would knowingly rape someone. I believe he simply just didn't know. Consent that relies on social cues alone isn't accessible for those who can't read them. Both people here are victims of a lack of clear communication.

That being said, the person who started spreading these rumors already has a history of making up lies about people in an attempt to make them look bad. They did it to me. Before this controversy even STARTED.

They came into my dms trying to get information about my friend (because they had blocked eachother long ago, but this person was now bypassing that, and it turns out they'd asked my friend's friends for his new blog handle.), and also tried to tell me I was a bad person for... helping them question whether or not they were a system.

They brought up my friend questioning other disorders in the past (none of which he'd ever claimed to have) as if it’s on the same level of awfulness as everything else when it really doesn’t matter. And it's not like he was saying "these are symptoms of x," he was saying "this happens to me" and other people were saying "that sounds like a symptom of x" and he would respond with "but not that, though, right? I don't think I actually have that."

Claiming he was making it up for attention when in fact he was doing the opposite.

After we reported them for harassment (or tried to, at least, Tumblr doesn't have an "in dms" section for harassment reports.) they came into my inbox with a very obvious anon pretending to be a strawman who "got their partner to traumatize them so they could be a system." They said I had made posts that encouraged them to do this.

I had not.

They were obviously trying to make me look bad for being pro-endo without actually doing research into what endo systems were, so I ended up saying "hey if you actually did this, I am so sorry. That is absolutely not necessary to become a system, and you suffered needlessly. I have no idea how you thought this was what I meant, or who you got this information from that this was how you create headmates, but they need to be reported and you should probably seek a way to recover from the trauma you experienced."

But by the second anon, I obviously knew this was not a real person and was a made-up persona by the person who started the harassment campaign against my friend.

This person had a history of ableism, lying to make people look bad, and bypassing blocks and boundaries to feed their hateful obsession. I believe they have contacted me since on anon despite me blocking them, or sent someone else to purvey their message. Which- surprise!- contained more ableism and false accusations.

First and foremost, this post does not credibly disprove any accusations made towards your friend. There is no real proof beyond tour perception of his character which to be blunt is practically useless. The accusations are also to be taken seriously regardless of any would-be past of lying or disingenuous behaviour of the original poster. That is entirely separate to the incredibly serious things that have been put forward.

As to the "minor issue" of lying about disorders and conditions: You have been using the perceived insignificance of this problem to discredit the primary accusation. Lying about having conditions is serious and harmful, even if not on the scale of rape.

You say he never explicitly claimed any disorders, just symptoms. This is false as he has clearly claimed to have chronic pain to the point of being unable to work as a result of potential fibromyalgia - which as far as i know he has no formal diagnosis for, although of course I couod be wrong. As for claims of being a system, I will not claim to have any expertise on the subject of DID but he has very clearly expressed himself as a system, which is also not true.

Now on the big topic of consent.

CONSENT IS AN ONGOING PROCESS AND MUST - I REPEAT - MUST BE EXPRESSED CLEARLY. NOT IMPLIED. Consent must be treated as entirely absent until it is proven to be entirely given. Again I was not present for the events mentioned but I have reason to believe the original poster over your friend. Your beliefs towards the natures of their characters play no part in the this situation.

but i am so incredibly tired of having my blog stalked, being told harm will come to me, being called slurs, having my friends harassed. i get that i’m not a great person, but there’s no reason to do all this. it’s petty and it’s cruel and it makes it so hard for me to be tactful about things. when i tell him to move on, i don’t mean that he should immediately heal. though i realise it could have come off that way. i mean that he should distance himself from me and focus on things that won’t cause him pain.

to the best of my recollection, i have tried to avoid talking about him. the only times i will post about it is to briefly vent my feelings or when he’s decided to start bothering me and my friends. i want to move on. and i know i’ve been rude about it but i genuinely do want him to move on too. i never meant to hurt him, and i don’t want him to prolong his pain by fixating on me.

Lots of people here know that I used to date someone called Sol – known on Tumblr as s0lk. It was an interesting one to say the least and I’m still recovering. It wasn’t healthy, it wasn’t loving and it wasn’t fulfilling. And I noticed that quite quickly. But with my desperate need for love and attention, thanks to my fear of abandonment, I stayed silent and avoided conflict when possible. Our relationship from my perspective seemed like one where I drained all my energy to give him attention just to get dry responses, ignored or used for sex. As time went on, I dreaded meeting with him more and more because I learnt that meeting with him only meant that he wanted pleasure. He didn’t want to know how my day was, what I had been up to, in fact he would ignore me during any activity to scroll on his phone. I learnt that attention only comes with sex. 

Now, I have traumatic experiences with being a rape victim more than once, so when I started getting flashbacks and nightmares, I assumed this man would understand that I’m not in the right mindset for this. But this of course sparked up a need for him to write vague posts about me, which he apparently still does to this day! (Talk about obsessed…) These posts hurt me terribly. I wanted to be a good boyfriend to him, but I can’t just act as a sex toy. Not when that exact action reminds me of my trauma. And it still does to this day. I consistently get flashbacks where I’m holding onto my stomach trying not to puke with fear. I felt so helpless knowing I didn’t feel safe enough to say no. I’m sure he wouldn’t have hurt me physically for it, but watching his new post appear on my feed saying that I don’t feel anything towards him anymore would break my heart. So, of course, I said nothing. You may say it’s not his fault he didn’t stop. But there was still no consent. He never verbally asked for consent, none was ever given, but I never pushed him away. So it’s not so simple, I know. 

This was discussed multiple times with him and yet I’m still hurt – but he was a terrible communicator. I’m talking terrible to the point where I got on a bus, got comfortable at home and 3 hours later I find out he’s added a third to our relationship. No consultation with me. How did I find out, you ask? A group chat name change. Yes. He changed the name of a group chat to tell me that there was an entirely new person I was supposed to give more of my energy and love into. I failed my exam the next day because I couldn’t stop crying about how unwanted I felt. I got barely any empathy in return, so I gave up and behaved and went along with this new “polycule” until I couldn’t take it anymore and snapped. 

Next. His obsession with something being wrong with him. I understand feeling like something doesn’t feel right and wanting to know what that thing is, but instead of consulting a professional for anything, he asks Tumblr. The Tumblr that knows nothing about him except his fake persona. Tell me why the hell he thinks he’s suddenly got DID?? Before that it was OCD, NPD… Is he trying to collect these like Pokémon? He relies on people with the disorder encouraging him and shuns anyone who tells him he’s wrong. He’s never wrong. He’s just such a little victim. Then he started saying he had every chronic illness because of his leg pain, which I don’t deny exists, I’m not saying his leg doesn’t hurt, but I think that if it hurt enough, he would’ve gotten himself an aid. I offered to take him to a hospital. And when he said “Ohh I need a cane…” I offered to come with him. But after a pattern of him barely listening to my advice, saying “Yeah…” and then doing nothing about it… Yes. It pissed me off and I stopped taking it so seriously. It’s like he wants to be sick forever. He doesn’t take it seriously himself. More on the neurological: he claims to have every neurological issue on earth. First it was autism, which I can understand. But autism overlaps with so many disorders, so he automatically assumes he has them too! No, he does not have DID. I would’ve noticed if he had been having amnesia and if he was a whole ass different person. No, he does not have OCD, he’s just a control freak. No, he does not have NPD, I think he thought this was a great excuse for his inflated ego and his supposed “superiority” over me. And maybe I am being too harsh with turning it all down and if I’m ever proven wrong, fine, I’ll take it back. But in my situation you get tired of hearing there’s a new issue to be aware of. Maybe he is sick, because you really must be sick to want sickness. 

I spoke to one of my friends, who is a diagnosed system. Yes, it’s a privilege, but it’s also a privilege that Sol would have access to, he consistently goes to therapy, wouldn’t his sessions reveal anything? This is what my friend said: 

(Some context: my friend briefly mentions the comment screenshotted below) 

“Okay so from what I know, those symptoms don't necessarily mean that you're a system. Feeling like a character or thinking like them isn't really a sign that you're a system. Not all systems are the same, sure, but there are more than those symptoms. From what I’ve seen, S0lk lacks proper research on the disorder and probably read about it briefly. With DID, its an extremely understudied and complex disorder, you experience heavy amnesia that can lead to a lot of confusion during the day, and sometimes you can have MAJOR migraines that last for hours on end. And then there's the splitting thing. When a system splits, it is usually an extremely stressful process that leaves the system extremely vulnerable. But with S0lk, it seems to just.. happen????? Not to mention these “alters” are all of their beloved characters that are popular in fandoms. I'm not saying that you cant have alters from popular sources, we have tons of fictives from popular medias. then with the whole “spectacular” thing. I find that weird to say as a supposed “system”. If you actually had the disorder, you would know how awful it is. These people aren't your friends, nor do they want to be. They are fragments of your trauma from the past. You went through trauma so severe that your brain split into multiple parts and fragments to cope. Now why would you want that? Who would want that? Not us.” 

Lots of people here know that I used to date someone called Sol – known on Tumblr as s0lk. It was an interesting one to say the least and I’m still recovering. It wasn’t healthy, it wasn’t loving and it wasn’t fulfilling. And I noticed that quite quickly. But with my desperate need for love and attention, thanks to my fear of abandonment, I stayed silent and avoided conflict when possible. Our relationship from my perspective seemed like one where I drained all my energy to give him attention just to get dry responses, ignored or used for sex. As time went on, I dreaded meeting with him more and more because I learnt that meeting with him only meant that he wanted pleasure. He didn’t want to know how my day was, what I had been up to, in fact he would ignore me during any activity to scroll on his phone. I learnt that attention only comes with sex. 

Now, I have traumatic experiences with being a rape victim more than once, so when I started getting flashbacks and nightmares, I assumed this man would understand that I’m not in the right mindset for this. But this of course sparked up a need for him to write vague posts about me, which he apparently still does to this day! (Talk about obsessed…) These posts hurt me terribly. I wanted to be a good boyfriend to him, but I can’t just act as a sex toy. Not when that exact action reminds me of my trauma. And it still does to this day. I consistently get flashbacks where I’m holding onto my stomach trying not to puke with fear. I felt so helpless knowing I didn’t feel safe enough to say no. I’m sure he wouldn’t have hurt me physically for it, but watching his new post appear on my feed saying that I don’t feel anything towards him anymore would break my heart. So, of course, I said nothing. You may say it’s not his fault he didn’t stop. But there was still no consent. He never verbally asked for consent, none was ever given, but I never pushed him away. So it’s not so simple, I know. 

This was discussed multiple times with him and yet I’m still hurt – but he was a terrible communicator. I’m talking terrible to the point where I got on a bus, got comfortable at home and 3 hours later I find out he’s added a third to our relationship. No consultation with me. How did I find out, you ask? A group chat name change. Yes. He changed the name of a group chat to tell me that there was an entirely new person I was supposed to give more of my energy and love into. I failed my exam the next day because I couldn’t stop crying about how unwanted I felt. I got barely any empathy in return, so I gave up and behaved and went along with this new “polycule” until I couldn’t take it anymore and snapped. 

Next. His obsession with something being wrong with him. I understand feeling like something doesn’t feel right and wanting to know what that thing is, but instead of consulting a professional for anything, he asks Tumblr. The Tumblr that knows nothing about him except his fake persona. Tell me why the hell he thinks he’s suddenly got DID?? Before that it was OCD, NPD… Is he trying to collect these like Pokémon? He relies on people with the disorder encouraging him and shuns anyone who tells him he’s wrong. He’s never wrong. He’s just such a little victim. Then he started saying he had every chronic illness because of his leg pain, which I don’t deny exists, I’m not saying his leg doesn’t hurt, but I think that if it hurt enough, he would’ve gotten himself an aid. I offered to take him to a hospital. And when he said “Ohh I need a cane…” I offered to come with him. But after a pattern of him barely listening to my advice, saying “Yeah…” and then doing nothing about it… Yes. It pissed me off and I stopped taking it so seriously. It’s like he wants to be sick forever. He doesn’t take it seriously himself. More on the neurological: he claims to have every neurological issue on earth. First it was autism, which I can understand. But autism overlaps with so many disorders, so he automatically assumes he has them too! No, he does not have DID. I would’ve noticed if he had been having amnesia and if he was a whole ass different person. No, he does not have OCD, he’s just a control freak. No, he does not have NPD, I think he thought this was a great excuse for his inflated ego and his supposed “superiority” over me. And maybe I am being too harsh with turning it all down and if I’m ever proven wrong, fine, I’ll take it back. But in my situation you get tired of hearing there’s a new issue to be aware of. Maybe he is sick, because you really must be sick to want sickness. 

I spoke to one of my friends, who is a diagnosed system. Yes, it’s a privilege, but it’s also a privilege that Sol would have access to, he consistently goes to therapy, wouldn’t his sessions reveal anything? This is what my friend said: 

(Some context: my friend briefly mentions the comment screenshotted below) 

“Okay so from what I know, those symptoms don't necessarily mean that you're a system. Feeling like a character or thinking like them isn't really a sign that you're a system. Not all systems are the same, sure, but there are more than those symptoms. From what I’ve seen, S0lk lacks proper research on the disorder and probably read about it briefly. With DID, its an extremely understudied and complex disorder, you experience heavy amnesia that can lead to a lot of confusion during the day, and sometimes you can have MAJOR migraines that last for hours on end. And then there's the splitting thing. When a system splits, it is usually an extremely stressful process that leaves the system extremely vulnerable. But with S0lk, it seems to just.. happen????? Not to mention these “alters” are all of their beloved characters that are popular in fandoms. I'm not saying that you cant have alters from popular sources, we have tons of fictives from popular medias. then with the whole “spectacular” thing. I find that weird to say as a supposed “system”. If you actually had the disorder, you would know how awful it is. These people aren't your friends, nor do they want to be. They are fragments of your trauma from the past. You went through trauma so severe that your brain split into multiple parts and fragments to cope. Now why would you want that? Who would want that? Not us.” 

squeezes and throws hard against a wall