julia

Sorry I’m acting like the journal factory exploded here but I’m just kind of laughing my ass off at how hilariously awful my life is. the only person who I feel like I can talk to and who understands me is my narcissistic mother who emotionally abused me my whole life. I genuinely think she’s the only one who cares about me even a little.

For once I just want something in my life to work out. All I do every day is cry over how my life has been ruined time and time again. I’m truly so powerless to do anything I really don’t know why I try.

It’s so much fun being betrayed and/or abandoned by everyone in your life

My body is genuinely so fucking repulsive. I am a disgusting beast and don’t deserve anything. Someone please kill me.

Being a fearful avoidant 😍😍😍

My whole family needs to die like omg there is not one redeemable person among us

My family is really lucky I’m not a white boy because I would’ve committed a murder suicide by the likes no one has ever seen before at the first instance they wronged me. Which happened 171616392822726 “wrongs” ago.

I went through more trauma over the past two days than a military veteran experiences their whole career and that’s not even an exaggeration

I look for mother figures everywhere I go…I’m pet sitting today and I met with the dogs owner yesterday who seemed to be the coolest mom ever just by talking with her for a short period of time and I am now severely depressed thinking about how different things could be for me if I had a mother like that. How unfair that I was born into this god awful life.

I’m so excited to start my masters program in the fall and actually it is like the only thing I’m looking forward to in my life but my family could not give less of a shit and never ask me about it or shoot down my enthusiasm because they think I shouldn’t do it and instead spend my time working a fuckass 9-5 that makes me suicidal. Idk why I expect any different but I’d just like one supportive person in my life who doesn’t shit on anything I’m passionate and excited about.

I lowkey need everyone from my high school to die.

I love when the piercing devil in my head tells me to get more piercings it’s so much fun. Like I’m just randomly gonna get my nipples and tongue pierced tomorrow because YOLO