Hillary. 19. NAU.

Oh. My. Fuck. 

This is one of those things you do as a parent bc ur an asshole and know that your kid doesn’t know any better and you know that like fine wine this is only going to get funnier with age, like a great big bottle of uncorked shame

Just because you’re trash doesn’t mean you can’t do great things. It’s called garbage can, not garbage cannot.

When I get comfortable with people I start using them as pillows and foot rests

when i get used as a pillow or foot rest i feel loved

I am both of these people

me: *keeps creating dramatic love scenarios at night and can’t fall asleep*

I’m always a slut for kindness and basic human decency

someone’s building an actual Krusty Krab less than 6 miles from where i live

when the cashier gives u back ur change and ur putting it away but u cant do it fast enough and suddenly theyre holding out ur shopping bag and u have no hands and the coins are dropping to the ground and the bag goes up in flames and the cashier is crying and ur crying and ur wallet is screaming and ur descending into hell

I’m glad we’re all in this together