but then, i killed you.

as ludger | as victor

“You were.”

A nervous smile is shown, because while there still remained an anxiousness with his wonder of what Victor was mumbling about, he didn’t want him to think too much about it. It would only bring about more anxiety, wouldn’t it?

“Hey, it’s nothing you have to apologize for. You obviously didn’t know you were doing it.”

He nudges Victor a bit, seeing as he was slowly losing his attention again. Didn’t need him mumbling nonsense again, right?

“You look tired. Maybe it’s time you actually sleep? Come on.”

             “I-I...I’m sorry...” Another apology, despite Jude’s words against it. At this point, everything is getting hazy and he isn’t even sure what he’s apologizing for. Sorry for being sorry? Or for earlier? Or for killing him? Killing him... That has to be it. That’s always it. He’ll always apologize because he doesn’t deserve Jude’s forgiveness and never will. Who forgives for that? Who, who, who--

               He’s well aware he no longer needs to flatter or flirt to get what he wants, of course. But he does feel that his romantic side now can at least make up for the awkwardness that was their initial relationship. What kind of mess was that? He couldn’t just cough out pretty words like he can now. 

“Hm…” Lara stares into the air, still considering, now distracted by the thought of Julius. There’s something… something off about that thought. She isn’t quite sure what, but she is also sure she was so close to reaching it–

At Ludger’s words though, she returns her gaze to the notepad, adding his request to the end of the list. “If you’re coming down with something, I expect you to wash your hands and wear a mask before you come near Elle… She’s still very small, and we don’t want to have to worry about taking her to the doctor because she’s come down with something terrible.” 

Lara isn’t a hundred percent sure how careful one has to be around a toddler of Elle’s age, but she is also fairly certain that a stomach bug is not something one wants a very small child to have.

After a moment more of thought, she reaches for the GHS on the table and begins to slowly type the list into a text– after a few seconds her vision begins to swim and she slumps forward, barely catching the edge of the table with a hand.

                Hearing her say he needs a mask has him sigh of relief, not realizing she probably means a mask over his mouth and not his facial features. “Yes, of course. I’d hate to see my little girl sick. I’ll even wear gloves too, just for safe measure.” He’s almost too eager about this, coming out from where he was practically hiding. 

                 His heart stops in his chest when she pulls out her GHS. She isn’t...texting Julius too, is she? His mind has already hit the panic button and he begins to come forth, opens his mouth to tell her not to bother, but he finds himself running over as she begins to fall. “L-Lara!” Now at her side, he places a hand to her back and his other stays out in front of her, ready to catch her should she fall. “Let me get you to the couch so you can lie down...” 

"I'mnotdead; w;"

"Honey, you know I've always approved of Jude."

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“Hm… food for Elle, fresh vegetables… pick up prescriptions…”

Lara absently tapped the pen against the notepad she was using– writing the shopping lists out helped make sure she didn’t forget anything, even if she did have to transfer it to a GHS afterward anyway– while tiny Elle sat in her lap, tugging on her mother’s ponytail.

“Is your brother coming over for dinner again anytime soon? I haven’t seen him around in a while… I like him– you should invite him over if he’s not.”

If he was, she needed to add some extra time and ingredients to make those tomato cookies he liked…

               His brother? Oh shit, it’s happening again...

                  He keeps his distance, not even wanting the sight of himself to become a reminder to her that him visiting for dinner is impossible. Time to make another excuse. “I’m not sure. He’s been so tied up at work, you know. I’ll shoot him a text and see if he can stop by sometime.” The words fall effortlessly from his lips, but they stain him and leave a pain in his gut. Lying to his wife... It’s for the best. He can’t explain to her that he’s dead -- and sure as hell can’t tell her that her husband is the one to have caused it. “I like him too, though. ...I miss him.” Not a lie.