[ GUARDIAN ]

❛ all the sudden i got a random burst of energy, and i think it’s my body’s last hurrah before it completely shut down. ❜

❛ i’m not superstitious… but i am a little stitious. ❜

❛ when someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response. ❜

❛ not trying to brag or anything, but i can wake up without an alarm clock now simply due to my crippling and overwhelming anxiety, so… ❜

❛ i came out here to attack people and i’m honestly having such a good time right now. ❜

❛ fool me once, i’m gonna kill you. ❜

❛ i feel confident in my ability to continue not knowing what is going on.

❛ died and came back as a cowboy, i call that reintarnation. ❜

❛ you can’t wake up if you never got to sleep. ❜

❛ you can de-escalate any situation by simply saying, ‘are we about to kiss?’ ❜

❛ you seem familiar, have i threatened you before? ❜

❛ some of you may die, but that’s a sacrifice i’m willing to make. ❜

❛ if i can’t cause tiny bits of chaos every day, i think my body will shut down. ❜

❛ theater kids are just choir kids who joined forces with the band and strings kids. ❜

❛ i am very small and i have no money, so you can imagine the kind of stress that i’m under. ❜

❛ maybe the true treasure was friendship all along. but i hope not, because i can’t spend friendship on new clothes. ❜

❛ okay stop asking me if i’m straight, gay, bi, whatever. i identify as a fucking threat. ❜

❛ i’m usually that person who has no idea what’s going on. ❜

❛ what doesn’t kill me should run, because now i’m fucking pissed. ❜

❛ my life isn’t as glamorous as my wanted poster makes it look like. ❜

❛ i’m sick and tired of being called 'mortal’ like, you don’t know that. neither do i. i have never died even once. nothing has been proven yet. stop making assumptions. ❜

❛ if you can’t beat them, dress better than them. ❜

❛ 'person of interest’ is almost too flattering. ❜

❛ drink your school, stay in drugs, and get 8 hours of drugs. ❜

❛ physically, yes, i could fight a bird. but emotionally? imagine the toll. ❜

❛ you’ll have a hard time believing this because it never happens but i made a mistake. ❜

❛ my expectations were low but holy fuck. ❜

❛ well, well, well… if it isn’t my old friend: the dawning realization that i fucked up bad. ❜

❛ dear friend, your gift this year… is me. that’s right, another year of friendship. your membership has been renewed. ❜

❛ i’ve come to a point in my life where i need a stronger word than fuck. ❜

❛ i have met some of the most insufferable people. but they also met me. ❜

❛ new year, same me. because i’m perfect. ❜

❛ just because i’m too short to reach the lowest self in the cabinet doesn’t mean you shouldn’t watch out for your kneecaps. ❜

❛ forgive me father, for i have sinny-sin-sinned. ❜

❛ so apparently the 'bad vibes’ i’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress. ❜

❛ with great power comes great need to take a nap. wake me up later. ❜

❛ behold, the field in which i grow my fucks! lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren! ❜

❛ sometimes i’ll start a sentence and i don’t even know where it’s going. i just hope i find it along the way. ❜

❛ i was born for politics. i have great hair and i love lying. ❜