So tired

im joining the war on gross disgusting pornographic content on the side of gross disgusting pornographic content

(In the cuck chair)(starts booing)

(Wife looks over)(I do a roman emperor thumbs down)(she executes the other guy)

is anyone else constantly afraid they’ll be “caught” doing stuff they’re obviously allowed or even supposed to do

uh oh 😖 I’m playing video games 😰 on my computer 🫢 that I own 😨 if anyone sees this I’m going to have to fake my own death

*gives you a foxglove* *gives you a nightshade* *gives you a devil’s trumpet* *gives you a moonflower* *gives you an oleander* *gives you a lily of the valley* *gives you a hydrangea* *gives you wisteria* *gives you a buttercup* *gives you a daffodil* *gives you an iris* *gives you elder berries* *gives you a

please slow down I can only eat so fast

my most boomer ass take is that i hate when i unmute a video of a cat and its just the most obnoxiously loud pop music playing over it. bro put that shit away i'm here to listen to your cat. i wanna hear what he has to say.

Ugh, was having a great time mocking my recently imprisoned rival when I noticed the camera positioning makes it so that I appear behind the bars, thus framing me as trapped in a metaphorical prison of the narrative, now my whole day is ruined. Fuck.

I get it, man. The other day, I survived a shootout, only to realize that a stray bullet went through a mirror in such a way as to look from the camera's perspective like I got shot in the head through the mirror, so now I have to acknowledge that something that could be reasonably referred to as "me" really did die that day, and it's just like "jfc, gimme a BREAK"

ugh dont even get me started on how the other day i tried to sit on the throne of my conquered foe and light a cigar to celebrate my victory but the lighter wouldnt work and it had to be lighted by the vizier who used to work for my enemy but that i enlisted to work as a double agent and help me in my coup. that jerk afterwards said with a devilish smile "ill always be at your service my liege" and i just KNOW that he said that exact same thing to the previous ruler. signifying that my victory was phyrric since i am still caught in an endless cycle of violence and betrayal. that really spoiled the whole mood

my chemical romance is the funniest and weirdest band ever. They’re all fucking losers who would genuinely rather play dnd than hook up with groupies. The singer used to work at Cartoon Network. The bassist is on the fbi watchlist for crimes against disney. One guitarist is a guitar god but he also used to keep a little action figure of spiderman in his pocket all the time, the other is like a little lap dog of a man, but he’s also on the fbi watchlist for death threats against a us president. They refused to be on the twilight soundtrack, one of the most popular franchises at the time but then they preformed on yo gabba gabba and re-recorded one of their songs in simlish.

Is anyone here russian

i am

Have you considered taking your time

Take my time with what

Russian sounds like rushing a little

Ohhhhh now that you mention it it does. Good stuff!

i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake

fabulous 

i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.

#HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY

Give 'em the ol razzle dazzle

As someone whose been on this website 10+ years I’ve seen more trans women banned recently than I’ve ever seen Neo nazis on this website banned or TERFs

genuinely insane how often trans women get banned vs terfs n nazis like. i will see a reply from a neo-nazi on a post and they'll more often than not still be there by the next time i see it while like half of the trans women i see on posts are fuckin Poofed

I made a tumblr for my OC rambles. I know I'm not active here but I'm very excited

I've been informed I can't do this because this is my primary blog.