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What if I started posting exclusively in italics, thereby inducing you to read it in a soft gentle inside voice JUMPSCARE JUMPSCARE 1000 DEVILS NIGHTMARES FOREVER

“fitted” sheets well why dont they then. why dont they

all video games should be dressup games. if you can't put your guy in a little outfit what's the point

life would be so much easier if I did not have The Troubles

Some of you need to hang out with normal people and just stop overthinking and blast some pop music and have a nice beverage

if you want something done weird you gotta do it yourself

I'm sorry I can't read that book you recommended. Yeah, no, it's just that beginning something new that I don't know if I'm in the mood for is to me what plastic bags are to horses and if you play 30 seconds of an unfamiliar audiobook I WILL spook and break two of my legs.

some of you guys have GOT to remember about fun

like it’s ok… just be a little silly… be annoying… be embarrassing… you are alive

oh btw just in case nobody ever told you. just because your life looks different than you thought it would doesn't mean that your life is bad or wrong or disappointing or less than. sometimes things aren't good or bad. sometimes they're just different

happy last Saturday chillin of the year my dawg

i think everyone should be sillier. i think life would be better that way. i used a marker pen to change the label on the oat milk so that it says boat milk and now i crack up laughing every time i open the fridge

my brain is so fucking mean to me man what's up with that. we're on the same team here buddy. fuckin get with it

not my itsy bitsy ass climbing up the water spout again