idk man i just go here

the way nothing changed but also literally everything changed. on a fucking monday night

Dan forever and always being the #1 advocate for phanfiction will never not be funny. He may have trauma but no one can ever accuse him of not being a patron of the arts

at the club fucked up on kerrygold pure irish butter

Dan is legit soo obsessed with his own love story. And I don't blame him either he's like a wattpad fanfic self insert. he yearned so hard and so publicly that the it boy of youtube 2009 invited him to live inside his ribcage forever.

put your bra back on boy we have a murder to solve

Imagine you got bullied as a kid so to make up for that insecurity you became a super successful alpha male grindset influencer and then one day you got pushed into a portal and found yourself in an alternate universe where you're a malewife who married your old bully. That happened to Luo Bingge

And, crucially, your malewife impostor is living a life so much happier than you are that you immediately try to take his place.

You see me at a party, I'm smoking a cigarette. With shock, you notice that I'm taking bites out of it. You move closer and realize the cigarette is actually a raw green bean.

when i say “that reminds me” & theres zero connection you just have to take my word for it theres no time to explain