take care

having bad days won’t erase your progress. taking a step back doesn’t mean you won’t keep taking steps forward.

"never trust how you feel abt ur life after 9pm" is a spring & summer & fall rule. for winter it's never trust how u feel abt ur life after 4pm

stop. pick up the journal. speak to yourself gently. sit down. have a cup of tea. the world isn't ending even if it feels like it constantly is. what made you upset? how are you feeling? did you hydrate yourself enough today? ate a piece of fruit and watch the sky, soak in some warmth? pick up a random book you want to read and indulge yourself for a moment. better yet, flip it to a random page and read the passage. splash some water on your face, move your legs a little, shake your wrist. i know all you can think of is it's hard, it's hard, it's hard and i will commiserate with you and say that it is. so have some gentleness instead. we all need it. give yourself a taste of it.

your body cannot be wrong because there is no right way to have a body

all you’ve got to do is pick one activity to do tomorrow. One thing to look forward to. Find a new movie or tv show you want to watch. Check out if there are any local bands playing gigs nearby. Find a random new skill to teach yourself. Do your grocery shopping at a different supermarket. Play stardew valley with someone. Find a new recipe to learn how to cook. See what movies are in cinemas near you. Find a niche museum or community centre in your town. Explore a new park. Go to a thrift store. Go sit in the library for a few hours. Get coffee with a loved one. You can’t leave yet, you’ve got that activity to go do. Keep picking activities. I love you. Stay safe.

Not every day has to count. Some days are for repairing, resting, mourning. You don't have to perform every day. Some days are for doing nothing. For sleeping all day or being on your phone. Relaxing is ok, allowed and encouraged. Do what you need to do.

beep beep sometimes when you have been in survival mode for a long time the parts of you dedicated to Wanting Things atrophy and you forget how to envision a future that feels rewarding because you are busy with the business of staying alive, and it can seem like your life must be pointless because you can’t imagine any long term goals. sometimes even when you leave survival mode you can’t remember how to Want Things. that doesn’t mean you need to give up on having a good and fulfilling life, it just means that Wanting Things is a muscle you need to gradually strengthen. the part of you that has dreams and aspirations is still there, it just fell asleep, but if you wiggle it enough it can and will regain feeling. it’s okay to start small