good intentions

It seemed like a fairly normal day at the library; people coming in asking for different books, people using the computers for research.. Every once in a while there would be a kid that would throw a tantrum or just be a bit too loud and he’d hear their mom or dad try and hush them. This felt like heaven to Eddie, just being surrounded by the sound of pages flipping and the smell of old and new books floating around in the air. He was taken out of his little daydream when he heard the phone ring, which sounded ten times louder than what it should have due to the silence. “Hello, Chicago public library, Eddie Mainland speaking! …Oh! Okay, what books are you looking for? … Perks of being a Wallflower, The Grapes of Wrath, and…. Ruthless Gods… Okay, uhhhh, I think we have all of them in here! Would you mind holding really quick? Thank you!”

He politely put the phone on hold, moving to search through the directory on the computer. Eddie grabbed the phone once more, taking it off of hold. “Hi! Thank you so much for holding. We have all three in stock! …You’ll come by later? Sounds perfect! We’re open until 7 pm! See you then!” He hung up the phone just in time to see someone coming in. “Hi! Welcome to the Nashville Public Library! How may I help you?”

“Listen, they look scary. And they are. Just vicious monsters,” Shawn was telling someone who saw him talking to Obi and Colonel, who were standing at the back window of his car with their heads sticking out. It was at that moment Colonel decided to whine and shatter the illusion that the two shepherds gave. “Oh, come on, man,” He laughed a little, reaching out to pet him before he reached their leashes in and attached them to their collars. “They’re both highly trained and wouldn’t actually hurt anyone that wasn’t trying to hurt them or us,” he assured the person standing there before he opened the car door and they both hopped out. “Let’s go see dad, guys,” he said and earned a pair of eager tail-wags before they headed up the steps to the library.

“-ngh! There we are…” Eva muttered to herself as she hoisted the art piece across her slender shoulders. A dear friend of hers had come to town to bring some pieces that Eva could quite fit into the U-Haul from Georgia to Tennessee, and she was finally getting around to bringing them to the school. Looking up, she happened to notice someone walking by and called out to them in her honeysuckle-sweet voice. 

“E-Excuse me! I’m so sorry, b-but I don’t suppose you’d be able to help a lady out and carry this last box for me. I’m about at the end of my rope goin’ back and forth haulin’ this stuff.”

Rehearsals were over for the day and Sheppard wasn’t entirely sure what to do with himself. Free time was sort of rare for him as of late, and he’d been trying to do more things with it than just sit at home watching Star Wars again for the thousandth time. So, he was walking with his AirPods in but with nothing playing through them, mostly because he’d forgotten to choose music or a podcast.

“Today has been possibly the longest day. Rehearsal this morning, then I taught some vocal lessons, and dance class. Tomorrow is going to be the same, I think,” Ziggy said, groaning. “Want to go get some drinks and something to eat? I need to unwind.”

( @fortisfragilis​ ) 

This was a death wish. 

Sneaking around with fresh cookies in her bag was one thing. But keeping them from her mothers? Her sisters? Eddie, of all people? Only saving them for Shawn? Death wish. Ultimate death wish. 

Then again, there she was, praying the plastic bag would mask some of the smell and her work clothes masking the rest. 

“Okay, I need to make this quick, because if anyone else knows I have these, they’re going to descend on us like wolves.” is how she greets the man who’s essentially her second father. “And these are for no one else but you.” 

The call that had woken him up at one fifty-two in the morning had been answered with: “Somebody better be dead.”  Well, they had been.  Shawn had completely forgotten that he was supposed to be on call.  The morning had been long, and there never seemed to be enough coffee to make writing case notes and reports any easier. 

After writing and deleting the same sentence about five times, he closed his laptop and ran his hands over his face.  He was a few seconds away from standing up and walking around when he saw Cami walking toward him so he settled on leaning back in his seat and stretching his legs a little before sitting back up.

ℓυ¢ιυѕ 

Devilish eyes perch upon the angel, gaze tracing the light of Grace or what might’ve been left of it swirling at his core. At the base of his spine, a shiver so subtle slithers up into his shoulders, skin turning to gooseflesh; under the cover of night with the salt removed from his skin and lungs, Lucius feels his energy return. 

“You can’t hurt me, Uncle.” Lucius hums. “Lucifer’s blood runs through my veins and he is your superior in Heaven, On Earth, and in Hell - though, I can’t say that I’d dislike watching my father rip you to shreds for trying.” 

“Talk?” He shakes his head in mild confusion. 

“What for? We’ve never met.”

Shawn set his jaw, feeling in some way defiant as he listened to the other man speak.  He hated thinking about the ways in which they were all connected, that the same cruel being who called himself a god had his grubby little hands all in each of their individual paths for seemingly nothing other than his own sick entertainment.  His “programming” was wearing off and was being replaced with anger.

“Again,” he said, sighing, “I don’t want to hurt you.  No need for your father to intercede.”

esther pursed her lips and gave the other a nod. really, even if she was just looking in. what was he going to do? call the cops and tell them that she was curious? that’s really all he could say, right? she lifted her shoulders up in a shrug, “i don’t know the difference. i guess it’s good his soul is at rest though.” she replied and then shook her head. “it’s alright. it’s kind of like,” she paused for a couple of moments, almost wondering if she’d sound crazy, “it’s a reminder that i should be more careful.”

“It’s actually kind of a debate around the angel community.  But, yeah, it’s better than the alternative.  I’d hate to be haunted by my vessel’s angry spirit,” he pointed out, laughing a little.  The foot thing was understandable.  “I think everybody could use something like that sometimes,” he nodded.  “I know I could. Just maybe not in the form of a broken bone.”

The angel seemed to shift a little closer, snuggling up more into him. “Youre just being rude at this point.” He teased, his face turning a light pink tint. He hated but also loved it at the exact same time. “I know… I actually switched conditioners a few days ago, so that explains a lot.” He chuckled, letting out a slight huff when he moved his hand back. He was wide awake by now (or at least as awake as he could be after his slumber was disturbed).

She too was expected God himself to smite them right then and there, but at the same time, surely he had something bigger planned for them. She just hoped that he wouldn’t disappear and come back different again. She already lost him for a moment once, she couldn’t lose him again. “I love you. You’re one of the best dads a girl could ask for,” she admitted, smiling softly. “Lucifer is going to have some serious competition on the dad front,” she added, trying to lighten the mood.

“I love you, too.  You’re the best daughter anyone could ask for,” he grinned.  It was true, and he’d never be able to fully express just how proud he was of her.  Even now, standing up for something she believed in and felt so strongly.   “Well, we had two hundred years of a head start on him.  It’s really not even fair if you look at it that way,” he answered, laughing a little bit. 

the girl nodded her head, “yeah, i’m just, you know scoping things out.” he didn’t ask for an explanation but the witch still kind of felt like she owed him one. she raised an eyebrow, “maybe you’re right. i could’ve had you confused with someone else. maybe it’s the pain meds taking over.” or maybe she was just so surprised by his company that she didn’t really know what else to say. she paused for a couple of moments, finally realizing what he said. “so, he’s just a vessel.” she’d been around long enough to realize what he was talking about and she didn’t at all think he was crazy. she glanced down at her foot, “oh? this? just an accident…” she spoke, deciding against elaborating.

Looking a little more closely at the storefront, he found himself nodding.  He didn’t have anything against her looking in random windows.  Even if he did, there wasn’t much he could do about it.  “Don’t worry about it,” he waved a hand.  There were only so many people on the island, after all.  “If it makes you feel any better, his soul is at rest.  Was at rest before I ever even took the vessel.  I learned my lesson the hard way about trying to cohabitate with a human,” he shook his head.  “I’m sorry to hear that.  I could try to heal it, if you want.”

Shawn had been mostly still while Eddie slept, mostly just sitting and thinking and happy to be with him.  A low laugh escaped him as he felt Eddie stir a little bit and then heard him speak.  “I know,” he answered, leaning over to press a kiss into his hair.  “Your hair is so soft, though.”  He pulled his hand back and readjusted his arms, giving Eddie the option to go back to sleep if he wanted it.

When he said he’d try, Lucia closed the growing gap between them. “Thank you.” The promise he would at least try was enough for her. Everything they had gone through recently was because of God. She had lost all respect for him ages ago, but now it was truly settled into her bones that he was just as much of a monster as he tried to make them believe Lucifer was. “I know it doesn’t make sense, because for my entire life I was raised and I believed I was an angel. But I never felt correct. I do now. For me, everything feels right now.”

He wrapped his arms around her and held on for a couple of seconds.  “You’re welcome,” he nodded.  For as big of a moment as this felt, there was surprisingly little fanfare.  Especially considering that he was actively turning his back on heaven completely.  He was about to fall and there really wasn’t any stopping it.  “We figured you’d find out one day.  Not like this, of course, but your dad and I both came to the conclusion a long time ago that we didn’t care what you chose to be.  You’re our little girl, full stop.  And if this is what feels right for you, good.  I’m glad you feel like yourself.”

Lucia stopped talking for a moment, eyes tearing up as he spoke. She swallowed thickly, nodding. “I know he’s not your dad. He never cared about any of us. He…he did this on purpose, didn’t he? He knew who I was and lied to all of us. What kind of sick game is he playing?” she asked softly, staring at the ground. She knew calling him by his first name was the lowest she could possibly go, but it was too late now, and what she was about to say next was probably going to hurt as much as that did. “If you want me to still be your babygirl, you’re going to have to at least try to be cool with him. For me, because at some point down the line he gets released and he is apart of my life. And it happens soon. So you have to try. Please, daddy. I need you to try.”

Shawn listened to her process what had hit him a few moments before and shook his head.  If he knew what game he was playing, he would have gotten out of it a long time ago.  Maybe that’s why everyone upstairs was so happy to reset first and ask questions later.  Maybe they’d been ordered to.  And for what?  God’s personal entertainment?  So that they could all be puppets in some predetermined plot?

He should have known what would be coming next.  As much as she was like Eddie, she did pick up a lot of the stubbornness that seemed to be a trait she’d picked up directly from Shawn.  One of her points hit him, though.  Someone was going to try to release Lucifer.  It’s what they’d started to tell him before he got sent back, what they’d vaguely briefed him on as they were lobotimizing him.  This was getting worse by the second.  “Just-” he started, taking a deep breath.  “I’ll try, but just give me a minute.”

“Not in his eyes!” she said, pointing to the sky. “We are just as bad as he is. And we only know what we were told of my father,” she reminded him. If everything about her own life had been a lie spewed to them by God, what else was? Was everything? “Did you know? Did you know what I was? Because I know you didn’t. Or you would have told me. Which means God lied to you!” she reminded him, scowling. “Maybe it isn’t my father who is good at deception, Shawn. Maybe it’s yours!” She stared at him for a moment, her eyes red. “None of us know what he’s capable of. If I’m capable of love, so is he. It’s his DNA that created me. And you can’t say that I’m different. Sure I was raised differently but I am still his daughter. If he isn’t capable of love then I wouldn’t be either. Not really. And I still love you, and dad, and Danny just as much as I did when I thought I was angel.”

She had been given all the information that they’d been given  It didn’t stop the sting of her pointing out just how flimsy everything he’d previously put his faith in had been.  It wasn’t like it was new information, but the only ones he really could trust had been his family all along, and now he just felt foolish that he’d so stubbornly clung to whatever logic he could scrape out of heaven.  It was his turn to visibly recoil at hearing his daughter use his first name.  “I’ve known what a dick my ‘father’ is for a long time.  That asshole might have been my creator but he was never my dad.” For a few minutes, Shawn just stood there.  He shoved his hands in his pockets and tried not to say anything that he was going to regret or anything that could potentially drive a bigger wedge between them.  Everything he’d ever been trained for was always going to culminate in this, and God knew it from the start.  God was the one that orchestrated this, that programmed Shawn to hate Lucifer and everything that he would bring humanity, and then hand picked him to raise Lucifer’s daughter.  And then further held the knife against Shawn’s neck by leveraging his family’s safety in exchange for his service.  Fuck that guy.  “You’re still my baby girl, and I will always love you.  No matter what or who you are, or where you come from.  That doesn’t change, okay?  That will never change.  But you have to know that I can’t pretend to be cool with your biological father.”

Like a sunken ship, he had opened his eyes for the third time since his father had locked him in a vessel chained to cement blocks. His vision becomes blurred by disturbed sand and seaweed, he shuts them again when salt water begins to burn into every pore of his body. Salt, he thought, it was what had kept him here, weakened him in his father’s absence. This was His fault, God’s, he was the reason that his father had grown over-protective of him; he’d turned his sister into an abomination. And in turn, God’s choice hadn’t given his father any in his upbringing. 

If God had happened to search Heaven, Hell, or The Surface, he would find no trace of Lucius, his grace weakened by salt, and his malice inhibited by a seal that bound him to this body. 

For a brief moment, he wishes darkness would overcome him again. His watery slumbers had been peaceful and then not. 

But it doesn’t come. 

Something about the energy of the water surprises him. Despite the salt that burned his skin, despite the murkiness of the sea water, for the first time since he had made home under the sea, he felt the chill of it and the distant call of a land mass. A land mass that seemed to emanate the energy of his father but also her, his sister.

The descent out of Hell is long. When his head breeches the surface of the water, for a brief moment, can’t remember how to breathe. 

How startling it must’ve been to see a body walk its way from the depths of the sea to shore, only to turn its reddish gaze in your direction. 

Shawn wasn’t the most fond of the water.  He didn’t know what he was doing this close to the beach, but perhaps it had something to do with wanting to talk to Cassidy again, to give her a piece of information he couldn’t have given her until now.  The beach was the only place that he knew she might end up, because that was one of her favorite spots on the whole island.  No luck so far, though.  There hadn’t been a trace of Cassidy anywhere since he’d gotten back from heaven.