vent @kingprince-ess - Tumblr Blog

"I was told that I dont have a place in the queer community because Im a trans man"

"What about cis gay men???? They belong in the queer community too!!"

(large text)

#not targeted towards anyone #just pissed off #vent #vent account #trans #transgender #ftm #transmasc #queer

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

"Just tell them youre nervous, they understand!" NO im in FIGHT OR FLIGHT right now and I WILL hit someone and throw up. Im not nervous im PETRIFIED!!! Im shaking!!! Im crying!!! I dont want to be there in the first place!!! Im in my own personal hell!!!

Im not "embarassed". Im not "anxious". Im not "worried". Im SCARED and FEARING FOR MY LIFE. I FUCKING HATE articles and reddit threads that tone peoples fear down too "well if youre just nervous" NO. I want tips on how to not start swinging when the doctor comes into the room!

#erotophobia causing me to lash out at the idea of someone seeing me naked #im shaking while writing this!!!#“you dont actually want to die of cancer youre just nervous” NO I GENUINELY MEAN IT #ID RATHER DIE OF CANCER AND HAVE MY BODY BE LOST IN A RELATED HOUSE FIRE THAN GO TO A GYNECOLOGIST #NOBODY needs to be looking at me down there Im dying old and alone for a reason!!#it could possibly be trans related too but idk #vent #vent account #trans #erotophobia #medical phobia?

mentally-ill-loser-rants

the way I can go from.normal to suicidal is crazy

my minds been really quiet recently. the only things i have to fill it are youtube and tiktok. iidont want to be a part of conversations at work anymore but i have to be. i dont want to look at my homework because i kmow ill fail. sometimes my ac turns on to fill the silence in my apartment.

i dont want to try anymore. i want to lay in a field and rot. or maybe a dense forest with a nice canpoy so i can watch it sway as i pass. i like forests

#vent #vent account #tw sui talk #tw sui #tw sui ideation

enuff2btuff

good morning

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

"Youre a man, you dont have a place in the queer community" haha thanks im gonna become a part of a statistic that nobody cares about

#trans #transgender #ftm #transmasc #vent #vent account #tw sui talk #tw sui vent

i just found out finastride prevents bottom growth i cant fucking win can i

#god i fucking ahte evrtything #vent #vent account #trans #transgender #ftm #transmasc

trans men being intentionally excluded from things and being told to just deal with it because they chose to be men actually makes me want to kill myself. its so tempting. i dont even wsnt to finish my degree or travel anymore i just want to kill myself. i dont deserve community because im a man and want to look masculine. i dont deserve anything. im not a doll, nobody notices me. nobody would care if another trans man kills himself because its one less man in the world

#someone is going to praise my death because im a man #its about time another man killed himself #tw sui talk #tw sui vent #tw sui ideation #vent #vent account #trans #transgender #ftm #transmasc

i hate feeling like an "other" in my own community

i hate feeling like i dont belong

#vent #vent account #trans #transgender #ftm #transmasc

i love trying to find other people who have the same phobia as me and learning how they deal with it in dating or if they date at all and only find things like "this is transphobia" and "youre going to die alone if you didnt start exposure therapy 5 years ago"

thanks guys, really helpful

#i think my erotophobia is possibly just phallophobia #or theres a possibility that i have both #and neither are fun to try looking into for more information on peoples experiences with it #when searching for phallophobia experiences i kept seeing a lot of “haha youre just a lesbian!!!” responses #it felt like the phobia was being turned into a joke and made to sound like its not real..#vent #vent account #erotophobia #phobia #phobias #unusual phobia

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

romanticizing bed rotting and staring at a computer screen all day in a dark room while ignoring my phone going off and only getting up for food sometimes maybe

#vent #vent account #unhealthy coping mechanisms #mental illness #some sort of disordered #unmotivated

as much as i want to medically transition and get masculinization surgeries im scared that im going to lose my place in my community because im a masculine man

i think ive accepted being uncomfortable being non-passing because im scared of losing everything ive been a part of

#ive always felt safer in womens spaces mostly bc my family up until like 7 years ago was all women #and if i get the surgeries i want im going to lose access to those spaces #im not entitled to them i know but its still me losing a safe space that ive always had #theres no transmasc/man spaces in my area irl and the ones ive tried joining online just kinda.. i feel like im not supposed to be there..#honestly mostly bc all the people ive seen there/who are most active are the skinny people who have been passing for years #which i dont relate to #none of this probably makes sense im just rambling at this point idk im sorry #vent #vent account #rant #trans #transgender #ftm #transmasc

why am i not allowed to be happy

#vent #vent account #trans #rant #transgender #ftm #transmasc #ftm binding

i remeasured myself to make sure i got the right sized tape bc i want to try taping again and oh my goddd i went from a DD to an H cup im actually gonna kms (JOKING IM JOKINNGGGG) why did my size go up so muchh i feel like binding and taping is a lost cause at this point maybe i should just get top surgery as soon as possible

binding has always been so painful for me no matter what size i get and the last time i used tape i couldnt get it right and it would never stay on so i gave up on both

#ive literslly been on t fir 2 years why did they grow #trans #transgender #ftm #transmasc #rant #vent #vent account

maybe my suffering is for nothing. maybe i was destined to die a failure

#maybe shes right maybe i should kms #im just a trans college student trying to get into a dying field that everyone hates #im not doing anythung special #it doesnt matter..

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

kingprince-ess

sometimes i feel like im not really trans because i havent horribly fucked up my body like some people have. i routinely see people brag about breaking/bruising their ribs from binding and just recently saw someone say they sprained their back from binding and im like "maybe im not doing it right. maybe im dont hate myself enough to be trans". idk sometimes it makes me want to kill myself for not being trans correctly. ive been on T for almost 2 years now and ive been really happy but i feel like i regress whenever i see that stuff. just doubt myself and my identity and if im doing it right whenever i see that stuff... if im not willing to kill myself to prove who i am then whats the point kinda...

i havent wanted to kill myself for a few months now and ive genuinely been very happy with my life but seeing someone brag about spraining their spine from binding too much kinda feels like a pathetic reason to bring back those feelings

i know its stupid buts its a pattern ive noticed with myself and i dont feel comfortable talking to my friends about it because i dont need "but you are a real man" reassurance i just need someone to tell me its not worth breaking my body over and im transitioning in a way thats best for my body. theres been times where ive considered letting my ribs break from binding too much because i thought itd make me a "real trans man" but i know its not right and i need someone to tell me its not right

strategicdefiantchaosreigns-dea

I want my followers to look at this fucking post and I want you to realize how much of a cult this bullshit is, and I want you to realize how fucking sick it is to let people groom others into this ideology.

Maybe we can't save those already neck fucking deep. But we should be damned well fighting tooth and nail to stop this shit.

kingprince-ess

???

strategicdefiantchaosreigns-dea

I don't know what's confusing to you.

kingprince-ess

please dont use my posts for whatever youre trying to push. this is literally my first post, i dont want to be associated with whatever youre doing. please leave me alone :(

strategicdefiantchaosreigns-dea

Your feelings are not my priority at this point.

I'm going to be so real. People proudly self-mutilating is something to be prevented. Your feelings do not in fact trump that reality.

Meantime, I highly suggest you read up on how to identify ideological cults. That is assuming you give a fuck about yourself. Here, I'll even give you a link.

Social psychologist and expert in ideological extremism, Alexandra...

If you do end up reading it, take a good long look at the trans community while you're at it.

Sincerely, someone who came dangerously close to being what you think you are. Someone who got out.

And if none of that interests you? Stay out of the discussion I'm having. Ignore me. Stop pretending you aren't another textbook example of someone so fucked up that you need people to tell you not to destroy yourself because you can't even be fucked to care about yourself.

Because that's exactly what the majority of people like you are. You claim it's about your identity. It isn't. It's about external validation.

Get some fucking therapy and, additionally, if you don't want people commenting on your shit? Don't post it publicly on a website where everyone can see it.

kingprince-ess

sorry..

#i just..#sorry #sorry..

kingprince-ess

sometimes i feel like im not really trans because i havent horribly fucked up my body like some people have. i routinely see people brag about breaking/bruising their ribs from binding and just recently saw someone say they sprained their back from binding and im like "maybe im not doing it right. maybe im dont hate myself enough to be trans". idk sometimes it makes me want to kill myself for not being trans correctly. ive been on T for almost 2 years now and ive been really happy but i feel like i regress whenever i see that stuff. just doubt myself and my identity and if im doing it right whenever i see that stuff... if im not willing to kill myself to prove who i am then whats the point kinda...

i havent wanted to kill myself for a few months now and ive genuinely been very happy with my life but seeing someone brag about spraining their spine from binding too much kinda feels like a pathetic reason to bring back those feelings

i know its stupid buts its a pattern ive noticed with myself and i dont feel comfortable talking to my friends about it because i dont need "but you are a real man" reassurance i just need someone to tell me its not worth breaking my body over and im transitioning in a way thats best for my body. theres been times where ive considered letting my ribs break from binding too much because i thought itd make me a "real trans man" but i know its not right and i need someone to tell me its not right

strategicdefiantchaosreigns-dea

I want my followers to look at this fucking post and I want you to realize how much of a cult this bullshit is, and I want you to realize how fucking sick it is to let people groom others into this ideology.

Maybe we can't save those already neck fucking deep. But we should be damned well fighting tooth and nail to stop this shit.

kingprince-ess

???

strategicdefiantchaosreigns-dea

I don't know what's confusing to you.

kingprince-ess

please dont use my posts for whatever youre trying to push. this is literally my first post, i dont want to be associated with whatever youre doing. please leave me alone :(

Trending Blogs

Last Seen Blogs

vent