🪷

it’s so easy to hate

it takes guts to be gentle and kind

hard enough to hurt,

hard enough to bruise.

you pull away and press a kiss to the flushed apple of my cheek.

oh, my sweet boy.

i do not want this.

i do not want a tender love.

i do not want you to treat me like a flower petal, about to tear under the soft flesh of your tongue.

i want to be close to you.

so close, we’re one.

i want to touch you.

to tear and claw and taste blood,

and then to smile, red lust smeared over my teeth and down my face.

to look like a sunset, or a cannibal.

tell me, my love,

your hair catches the sun and i think of the luck i have, existing with you. i do not think of the luck i have, loving you, because i will cry.

and you will swipe a worried thumb under my eye and murmur,

“what’s wrong?”

and i’ll shake my head because how can i make the words i say every day mean more? it’s all i have, what i give you,