A bedside drawer where the stray things go

every time Shane bends over there’s a Non Zero percent chance Ilya will creep up behind him, grab his hips and start fake thrusting and groaning. which should be funny except he’s too good at the noises and Oh Shane is hard now. great. Looks like he’s loading the laundry After they fuck on the counter

Ilya Rozanov is not real and he cannot fuck you

[forgetting I am mentally ill] why do I feel so Bad

see the thing is shane WOULD have mysterious powers and never know it because they just don't coincide with his hockey career. like i easily see him as being able to control the weather or something and he just doesnt gaf. the games are all indoors anyway so he doesnt care or know why it always happens to storm like crazy after the metros lose no matter where they are or what season it is. thats got nothing to do with him!

do you think that if shane and ilya were to start hanging out with more queer people sometimes ilya would have to be like "by the way dont mention being a landlord in front of these ones. i know the rich art collector gays we met the other week at that gala talked to you about property investment but i dont think this queer birdwatching club will take it as well"

sex is a distraction from your true purpose in life which is to go to the aquarium and look at the fish and go "wooooooaaah.... fishies". cmon guys we all need to lock in.

The problem with casual sex is like well you’re the first and only person who’s ever seen and been inside of my hole and I don’t trust another living soul to see me that vulnerable ever in my life. Maybe if we cut out the after sex cock warming it’d be less of a thing but I’d rather die. I’d rather die.

i love you aroaces who are sex repulsed and i love you aroaces who are sex favorable. i love you aroaces who engage in kink and those who dont. i love you aroaces who have a partner and i love you aroaces who are single. i love you aroaces who never had sex and those who did. i love you aroaces who felt like they werent aroace enough to use those labels. i love you aroaces whos spectrum isnt represented a lot. i love you aroaces who had/have crushes and who never did. i love you aroaces who like romantic and/or sexual media and who feel overwhelmed by the amount of it everywhere. i love you aroaces who have kids and those who dont. i love you aroaces who have multiple labels outside of aroace and those who only describe themselves as aroace. idc. i love aroace people.

guys im so serious click my link and make a tinder profile as shane hollander im having a great time and you should be too

i’m that little monkey and shane is my stuffed animal

Everybody wants you to play pretend about who you are but when they figure out you’re pretending they get so mad!! “You Lied” and you liked me better when I was lying. So where exactly does that put us.