He had saved your life, a few years ago, when a pack of virals had had you cornered in an alley, not far from the Bazaar. You’d been trying to get there for days at that point. Starving. Thirsty. With absolutely no willpower left in your veins and almost all your sense of survival gone from within your bones. You had almost given up entirely. You were tired… Running on one singular fuse, which meant you hadn’t noticed the Howler that was cowering behind a run down old bus near the town square.

It had taken you by surprise when you rounded it, it’s mouth opening and its ear-piercing scream filling the air before you even had a chance to draw your weapon. You took it out, but by then… by the time you had fully realised the seriousness of the situation you’d gotten yourself into, you were all but done for.

Your weapon, as pathetic as it was given that it was nothing more than a rusty old pipe you’d found on the ground, had been thrown from your sweaty grasp when one of the armoured virals charged at you. It had crawled out from underneath a nearby building, charging at full speed and knocking you clean on your ass, taking all the air in your lungs and your will to survive along with it.

You had thought that was it, at that point, as you struggled tiredly to fight it off before it turned you inside out. Your limbs were sore, your muscles weak, and the viral was a hell of a lot stronger than you, even on a good day, and, deep down, you knew that you were going to die. That your story was finally over and you’d go out as nothing more than a light snack to a raging beast, but then… as you gave up entirely, the weight from your body had lifted and he was revealed.

Or rather they were revealed, as there had been at least two or three other guys fighting alongside him.

But at that moment, as your eyes adjusted to the sun beating down on your bloody skin, your focus had been fixated solely on the ruggedly handsome face that was Barney. He had appeared before you, almost out of no where, swinging his weapon like a maniac and taking out every single last viral that had you cornered. He then lifted you off your feet and held you close, guiding you personally towards the safety of Bazaar, where once inside he made sure that you got the best care available.

From that moment on, your rocky past became nothing more than blood-covered history.

It didn’t take long, but soon enough Barney became the only thing in this world you truly cared about. And Sophie too, of course, but she was a lot more mature and you didn’t feel the need to worry about her as much — not with Herman by her side, anyway. But with Barney… You couldn’t help but worry about him. You’d always known what you were getting yourself into, when you fell for him. The guy could be more unruly than your typical renegade, but you’d grown to almost like that over the years. His spontaneity was one of the things you adored about him and you’d lost track of the countless times he’d surprised you throughout the years you’d been together.

However, lately… he was becoming a lot more than you, or your heart, could handle.

It’s why you were here now — in your hideout at the Tango Motel — packing your things. Or, rather you’d been trying to pack your things, but really you just kept moving them from one spot to another as you couldn’t fathom the idea of actually leaving him. Not when you loved him. With everything you had, you loved Barney for who he was but after what he did… After he’d tried to raid that dark zone, half-cocked, and with no real plan of action, you just weren’t sure whether or not you could stick around anymore.

“Sophie said I’d find you here.”

With a shuddering sigh, you stopped in your attempts at folding some clothes and slowly turned on your heels in the direction of his softened voice, your heartbeat ceasing almost entirely beneath your chest the second you laid your tired eyes on him. You had known beforehand that Barney had gotten hurt out there. You’d spoken to Veronica briefly, just to make sure the fucking idiot was okay before you left, but when you saw the true extent of it as he stood there… bruises covering his face… a deep gash etched into his forehead…

Even just the sight of the ragged old scars on his arms as they lay folded over his chest like nothing ever happened, was almost enough to solidify your decision to finally leave him.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, your voice wobbling as you tore your eyes away from him and picked up a t-shirt, attempting to fold it but failing miserably with the shakiness of your hands.

You had really been hoping that he wouldn’t show up.

“I live here?” Barney said questionably, dropping his arms to his sides and delving further into the home you both shared together. You kept your back to him as he did, ignoring him entirely as his eyes began to dart worryingly around the mess you had left in your trail around the room. “Baby, what’s going on?”

You sucked in a rather nauseating breath, your eyes pricking hot with tears as you let it out slowly, “I’m leaving.”

“Leaving?” Barney repeated, true panic riddling his voice. He crossed the room towards you in a few quick strides and hooked his hand, gently, around your arm, turning you to face him, where the heavy glisten of your eyes and the reddness that surrounded it broke his heart entirely. “You can’t… You… Why?”

“Why?” You repeated, a delusional chuckle leaving your wobbling lips as you pulled your arm free of his hold and wiped furiously at your eyes. “You’re seriously asking me why?” You shoved him away from you a little, anger overthrowing you entirely at his complete lack of awareness. “Fucking look at yourself, Barney!”

You almost couldn’t believe how naive he was being right now.

“Look at what happened to you, I mean…” Your breath caught in your throat as you threw your hands up, allowing them to fall to your hips. “What were you thinking? What possessed you into thinking that going, half-cocked, into the heart of a dark zone was a good idea?”

“We needed those crystals, baby, if I didn’t…” Barney took a second, his jaw tensing as he tried his best to control himself. He always knew he had a temper, and whilst it worked often on getting him out of the sticky situations he found himself in, he would be damned if he ever let it slip out around you. He lowered his voice as best he could, allowing it to soften in ways only you ever got to hear, “If I didn’t get them… Then we would have been completely fucked when it came to dealing with Jack and Joe.”

“Oh, bullshit,” You spat, folding your arms and glancing away from him. “You know as well as I do that Jack and Joe only care about one thing, and it isn’t crystals.”

“You’re right, it’s not. It’s you,” Barney gritted, growing closer to you. “They wanted you and if you think that I’d ever let those two cunts touch so much as a hair on your head, then you’re out of your damn mind.”

“And yet you still saunter right in to a fucking dark zone without so much as a plan,” You exhaled tiredly, turning to catch the slight furrow his brow. You stepped towards him, your fingertip tapping briefly against your temple, “Think about it, Barney… You’re the only thing standing in their way, I mean… What’s gonna happen to me if you go off and get yourself killed before we can take them out?”

“That’s not gonna happen.”

You scoffed, “No? Then tell me… Where is Kojak right now?”

You would have mentioned Birdie too, but you couldn’t bring yourself to use the poor kid just to make a point. Not when you had been the one to console his grieving mother after he’d gotten himself killed in Barney’s reckless endeavour.

“That was different, okay?” Barney spouted, veering towards the defensive. “Kojak got himself trapped…”

“Oh, and you didn’t?” You raised your brow at him, his eyes narrowing towards you as he no doubt tried to see through you — to see if you knew he’d gotten himself trapped or if you were simply just pretending.

He was normally quite good at reading you, but right now he wasn’t so sure what to think. He’d never seen you like this before, all but frothing at the mouth. You were livid with him, and rightly so. And whilst he knew that lying wouldn’t exactly be in his favour here, he still figured it was a better option than telling you the truth, and so he opened his mouth to do just that.

Only, before he could get the first syllable out, you held up your hand, “Don’t even try to deny it, Barney. I already spoke to the pilgrim.”

A grimace crossed his face at that little detail, his teeth clenching, “Why were you talking to him?”

“Because I wanted the full story — The true story and I knew that you wouldn’t give it to me.”

“And what did he tell you? The pilgrim?” Barney spat the word like it was poison, and you had every right mind to radio Sophie and tell her to keep Aidan at bay.

“He told me that if he hadn’t found you when he did,” You swallowed thickly, blinking away the tears that yearned to escape your eyes. “He’d have been reporting three dead bodies…” Your voice cracked as you said it, your head shaking, “Not two.”

The motion, as gentle as it was, pushed a tear through your lashes and it slowly began to roll down your cheek. You didn’t even bother wiping it away. You wanted Barney to see it. You wanted him to know just how scared you had been of losing him, and, to no surprise, it seemed to work. He had closed the small gap between the two of you before the tear could even drip from your chin, his hand cupping your face where he wiped away that shimmering droplet.

“You gotta know, I only did it for you,” Barney said softly, hating the idea of having made you cry.

You sniffled, “How was any part of this for me?”

“The crystals…”

“God, enough with the crystals, Barney!” You pushed away from him momentarily, drawing your hands down your face before peering back up at him. “I don’t need any fucking crystals, okay? The only thing… The only person I need in this fucked up world is you!”

You were in front of him again in the blink of an eye, your fingers curling around his vest, gripping it with all your might as you stared deep into his guilt-ridden eyes. Like you afraid he’d suddenly just drop dead in front of you. Your heart ached over the mere thought of it. Your stomach knotting tighter than ever and so you tugged him closer, pressing your forehead against his and feeling as his hands came to land aside your neck, forcing your eyes closed as you relished in the light circles he drew over your skin.

“I need you… Barney,” You whispered, your hands loosening from around his vest before they slowly made their way up his chest, feeling his rapid heartbeat beneath it. They worked their way over his shoulders, drawing up the length of his neck and circling around the back, where your fingers laced together, keeping him there. “You… Don’t you get that?”

“I do now,” Barney’s choked words forced your eyes to open, his own now swelling with tears that you rarely ever got to see. In fact, you didn’t think you’d ever seen him cry before and you had honestly thought that the man was made of nothing but pure stone. And yet here he was. So vulnerable. So afraid of losing everything he’d worked so hard to keep that he couldn’t bring himself to look at you. “I’m sorry, baby. I just… I don’t know what I’m doing here cause I… I’ve never had this before.”

Your brow pinched, “Had what?”

“Someone who cares about me,” He confessed, his head dropping along with your heart. “My whole life it’s only ever been Sophie and I just… I didn’t think. I never fucking think and I know that now. I know that my behaviour is reckless, and I just… Fuck…” His gaze raised back up to you and he held you tighter. “I don’t want to lose you…”

By this point, tears were all but pouring down your cheeks and he couldn’t quite keep up with them.

“I don’t. I won’t cope without you because I…” Barney choked, rolling his lips tightly and digging his teeth deep into them as he swore internally.

Jesus Christ, why was he so bad at this? Why was expressing his feelings so hard for someone with no filter whatsoever? All he had to say was three little words. Just three. A simple, three worded phrase that could potentially fix everything and yet he couldn’t even seem to do that.

At least, not until his eyes locked onto yours and saw the way you looked at him. With affection… Adoration… Pure, unfiltered love just sitting there for everyone to see. He’d always wondered how he’d gotten lucky enough to catch your eye, let alone keep it. Sure, he saved your life. And yeah, he may have been smug in thinking that he could get any woman he wanted, but the truth is… He’d never even slept with a woman, not before he met you. You were his first. His first kiss. His first fuck — classy, he knows, but how else could he put it? His first crush. Hell, you were his first love… His first everything and he simply couldn’t fathom the idea of losing you.

“I love you.”

His words came out as clear as day, hitting you with the full force of a demolisher and nearly knocking the wind clean out of you. He’d never said that to you before, not once. You’d always just gotten the sense… the slight tingle in your chest that he might have loved you — considering how sweet he was with you and how protective he could get when someone so much as looked at you in a way he didn’t overly like — but you never would have actually expected him to say it.

Over the years, he’d never shown any inkling that he ever would. Not a slip up or a stumble. Not a sleepy mumble or even a pinnacle of climax, spur of the moment, confession… Not a single hint did he ever give you that he was ready to confess it verbally. He didn’t seem like the type, if you were being honest, and you were fine with it. You had him… he had you… and that was good enough given the world you both lived in, and yet here he was.

After having almost lost you for good, through no fault of his own, he’d finally said it. He taken responsibility just by doing so. He knew he’d fucked up for good this time and whilst he could have simply been saying it to keep you in his bed, you knew he meant it. It wasn’t some ploy to get you to stay, as Barney wasn’t like that. He didn’t beg. He didn’t wallow. He didn’t like to make himself out as some sort of pathetic loser — his words. No, he must have truly meant it to finally allow those heavy floodgates to open, and in that moment, you couldn’t believe how you’d ever thought about leaving him.

“I love you too,” You choked out, your breath hitching as you slid your hands around his neck in order to take a gentle hold of his face. You could feel it rise beneath your touch. A true, genuine smile building on his face, as opposed to his usual cocky grin — which, as much as you adored, was nothing in comparison to the warmth he was offering you now. “As much as I hate you at times… I do love you, Barney.”

Barney let out a watery chuckle, “I guess, I’ve given you plenty of reasons to hate me at times.”

“You have,” You said, your own lips curling into a fond smile. “But you’ve also given me a hell of a lot more reasons to love you.”

He shook his head, “I don’t deserve you.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” You said softly, leaning in to place a tender kiss against his lips that almost had him wanting to weep. “You deserve nothing but love, Barney. And whilst I’m more than happy to give it to you, I need you to promise me something.”

“Anything,” Barney replied in a heartbeat.

“Stop acting like you’re expendable,” Your voice was low and soft, yet it had never sounded so serious in the whole time that he’d known you. “You’re all I have in this world, Barney, and if you keep going the way you’re going…“ You swallowed, forcing back the lump in your throat, “then you’re gonna end up dead, and I don’t know what I’m gonna do if that happens.”

“Believe me, baby, my days of recklessness are over,” Barney said assuringly. “I can promise you that.”

“Then do it,” You whispered, drawing your thumb down the stripe of black that always sat on his chin. “Promise me that you’ll stop this.”

Leaning in, Barney took a second to simply gaze into your eyes before he pressed his lips against yours, kissing you so soft… so tender… so downright sweet, that you almost thought it was another man entirely. He then pulled back, just a touch, his features tightening as he cleared his throat and voiced everything you needed in order to stay with him for good.

“I promise.”

You never thought you’d hear from Crowley again, not after what you told him. How you shot him down. How you hurt him. The look on his face that day in the dungeon was one you’d never forget but how could you keep your promise when he was still a demon?

How could he think you’d still agree to be with him when the chances of him becoming human had dropped from one hundred percent to zero in a matter of seconds?

Of course you were happy Sam wouldn’t die from completing the trials but it had gone and messed everything up for you and your future, which is exactly why you weren’t sure you could face opening that hotel room door once you’d approached it.

But Crowley seemed… out of it, to put it lightly, when he called you and no matter what he may be, or may still be rather, you loved him and therefore you simply couldn’t bring yourself to walk away.

Sucking in a deep breath, you slid the card you’d swiped from the maids cart on your way up into the slot, the door beeping within seconds and when that lock flicked open, you almost jumped out of your skin. Your hand grabbed the handle before your mind could tell it to and when you pushed open that door, it took every ounce of strength you had in you to step inside.

And when you did, your heart almost dropped at what greeted you.

Bodies lay scattered about the place, their skin grey and pallid, as though they’d been drained of their blood which was only confirmed when you spotted the syringe full of it on the table. One body was different from the others, it was a woman, clad in a black dress and knee high boots, with an angel blade sticking out of her stomach.

But your eyes didn’t linger long on the mess around you before you spotted him. Crowley. Sitting slumped against the wall in nothing but a pair of silk, black pyjamas and looking like he’d been through the ringer. He was pale, sweaty, with dark circles underneath his eyes and if you didn’t know better you’d have thought he was a junkie.

“What happened to you?” You whispered to yourself, the door clicking softly shut behind you as Crowley’s head slowly lifted, having heard your voice no matter how low it had been.

“You came?” Crowley all but choked out, surprised to see you as he was unsure whether or not you’d gotten the mess that was the voicemail he’d left you.

“You called.” You replied, smiling warmly as you moved slowly across the room and kneeled down in front of him. Your hand landed on the side of his face, your thumb wiping away a speck of blood that sat upon his scruffy stubble. “I told you that day, Crowley… I’ll always be here for you.”

“But you just can’t love me.” Crowley finished, repeating what you’d said to him that day you broke his fragile heart.

“I do love you.” You said softly, your own heart breaking as you couldn’t stand seeing him like this. “But I can’t be with you.”

“Right, because I'm a demon.” Crowley scoffed out, raising his own hand to pull yours off his face, throwing it back at you as he clumsily got to his feet. He walked away from you, keeping his back to the room you occupied as he stared out of the window. “I never should have called you.”

“But you did.” You replied, taking one step in his direction. “And I’m here… So let me help you.”

“Help me?” Crowley huffed out, an emotionless chuckle leaving his slightly cracked lips. “Why on earth would I want your help?”

“Because you asked for it.” You exhaled, closing the gap between the two of you and clasping his shoulder, turning him to face you, which was surprisingly easy but Crowley wasn’t exactly in a place to stop you. “And because I know you want it.”

You softened your voice as you cupped his face again, gently brushing your thumb over the dips beneath his eyes. His glistening, saddened eyes that broke your heart to even look into as you knew you were the cause of the pain that was behind them.

“I know I hurt you.” You began, Crowley scoffing lightly as hurt was an understatement. He dropped his gaze from you, only for you to lift it back up to eye level almost immediately. “And I’m sorry.”

“You’re all I want.” Crowley whispered, feeling pathetic and embarrassed. But frankly he didn’t overly care how he was coming across as it wasn’t anything but the truth.

Even before the trials he’d always wanted you, deep down from the moment he met you and all it took for him to realise that, to confess that to you was one syringe full of human blood. And by the fourth he was certain.

He loved you.

He’d been ready to turn human if it meant being with you, or rather, if it meant you wanted to be with him. But as always, the Winchesters went and fucked everything up, meaning not only was he now a blood junkie who’d abandoned his throne, but he was without you too and he didn’t know just how long he could keep things up.

“I know.” You nodded, your voice cracking as your free hand took his, easily lifting it between you to place a soft, loving kiss against his knuckles. “I can see now that you’re different. That whatever happened to you in that church changed you and if you’ll give me the chance, I’d like to make good on that promise I made you.”

“But I’m not human.” Crowley pointed out, his brows dipping a little and he’d never felt his heart beat so fast. Hell, he hadn’t even thought it was possible for it to do so.

“I don’t care.” You said through a quiet sob, shaking your head as though you were trying to rid yourself of the emotions clouding your insides. “I love you and I want to be with you whether you’re a demon or not.”

“You have no idea how badly I’ve wished to hear those words.” Crowley breathed out, pulling his hand from yours to place it on the side of your neck, his other joining it swiftly and before you knew it his lips were on yours.

And you wouldn’t be lying, it felt strangely wrong to be kissing a demon, the King of Hell at that, but you didn’t care. It felt more right to you than anything ever did and if being with Crowley damned your soul to hell then so be it. He ruled the place after all, which meant no matter what the future held for you, you’d get to spend eternity with him one way or another.

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Firstly, because demons didn’t sleep. Which is why you were more surprised over the fact that Crowley was currently still asleep than you were over yourself waking up next to him.

Secondly, you were a hunter. You were trained to hunt demons. To kill them. Not to trust them, let alone allow yourself to be so vulnerable around them. And if there was ever a moment where you were at your most vulnerable it was when you were asleep.

Yet here you were, not only asleep around a demon but asleep next to one. Asleep in the arms of one. Your legs tangled together with one in ways you didn’t even know was possible and yet it was comfortable. He was comfortable. His body. His touch. His mere presence was comfortable which is exactly why you had fallen asleep beside him.

Had you not grown so comfortable around Crowley over the past few months you’d have never dreamed of allowing yourself to sleep around him, let alone next to him. But you had, therefore you did. And when you woke that morning, his face being the first thing you saw when your eyes fluttered open, you didn’t feel anything but happiness and a sense of peace.

The minute Crowley began to stir next to you, you shut your eyes, pretending to still be asleep as you did not need him acting all smug when he realised you’d been gazing at him whilst he slept. You could feel his breath against your forehead, no doubt glancing down at you to see if you were awake yet.

After a few seconds you allowed your eyes to open again, acting as though it was the first time they had. You lifted you hand, rubbing lightly at them and forcing a yawn to escape your mouth, gently nuzzling your cheek over his chest where his heartbeat quickened beneath.

“Good morning.” You mumbled, kissing his chest before you lifted your head to meet his gaze, which softened the second it locked onto yours.

“Good morning, darling.” Crowley said as softly as he could given the raspiness to his voice brought on by hours of not talking.

Which must have been a challenge as he did love the sound of his own voice. Not that you were complaining though as you did too. His earlier morning one especially.

He leaned down, capturing your lips in his and kissing you in a way that had you melt beneath him. You could feel that immense warmth burst across your chest, your stomach feeling as though someone had forced a swarm of butterflies down into it as his lips continued to work against yours, clearly not bothered by the morning breath you could have sworn you had.

“Good morning indeed.” Crowley whispered as he pulled briefly back, bringing one hand up to land aside your face, fingers threading through your hair as he brought you towards him again.

Your own hand rose, coming to rest atop his as you allowed him to keep kissing you, which had soon become your new favourite hobby as you just couldn’t get enough of it. Especially when his stubble would scratch over your skin in all the best ways. Just reminding you it was real and not a rather vivid dream as you still couldn’t quite believe it.

“Since when do demons sleep?” You asked curiously the second your lips parted, Crowley’s thumb brushing lightly over yours as his hand came to cradle the side of your neck.

“Since a breathtakingly beautiful woman tired him out last night to the point where he couldn’t help but feel like he needed it.” Crowley replied, causing you to blush profusely as all the memories of said night swarmed your sleep-hazy mind.

If you hadn’t been damned just for kissing him then you’d definitely have been after the things you let him do to you.

“My apologies.” You said playfully, a somewhat smug seeming smile flashing across your face as you leaned up, placing a gentle kiss on his lips.

“No need to apologise, love.” He whispered, his thumb tracing light circles against the warmth of your neck. “Not when it allowed me the pleasure of waking up next to you.”

“Quite the sweet talker, aren’t you?” You teased, lifting your hand to slide it around the back of his neck, feeling the softness of his hair as your fingers delved into it.

“Only for truly special people.” Crowley replied, making you blush even more as who knew he had such a soft side to him.

“If I’m so special…” You began, pecking his lips briefly before pulling back just a little. “And you enjoy waking up next to me so much…” Another quick peck against his lips. “Does that mean we’ll get to do this more often?”

Using his hold on your neck to stop you from backing away, Crowley kissed you again. In a way so passionate yet so gentle. So loving. That you almost couldn’t think straight and your eyes needed a second longer than normal to open afterwards, just in time to catch the movement of his lips as he said the words you secretly longed to hear.

“Darling, you best believe we’ll be doing this again, because there isn’t anything on this earth, or in Hell, that I’d rather do than wake up next to you.”

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Which was completely ‘pot calling the kettle black’ as you couldn’t count the amount of times they’d given up their own lives for someone. But you just figured it was because you were technically the baby of the family, despite the fact that you were two years older than Sam… The boys didn’t want to tell you straight up that it was because you were a woman as they knew you’d kick their asses for even saying it.

Half of the time you had to threaten Dean with violence against the Impala for him to let you join them on hunts, even though you were one hell of a hunter who’d proven many times that you were capable of looking after yourself. You knew Dean was just being protective, as he had been all your life, but part of you knew that the reason he didn’t want you leaving the safety of the bunker anymore was because of Crowley.

Ever since Crowley’s run with human blood, the two of you had developed a bond, one that your brothers were not pleased with. Nor were they pleased to find out you’d been sneaking into the dungeon to talk to him at night when he’d been chained up inside, against your brother's orders that you weren’t to go anywhere near him. That had not been a fun conversation. Not one bit.

You didn’t know what this connection was you had with the King of Hell himself, whether it was from loneliness, as oftentimes you were left alone in the bunker and it’s not like there was anyone else for you to talk to, or whether it was something else entirely, you had no idea. All you knew was that you liked it.

You enjoyed Crowley’s company. You enjoyed talking to him. Having conversations that weren’t filled with jokes and innuendos, much like those in which you’d had with him around the others. These talks were more deep. More personal. Something you didn’t want to share with anyone else.

Crowley understood you. He listened to you. He allowed you to vent about things that you wouldn’t dare say around your brothers. You knew he’d never repeat what you said, not when he was still so hopped up on human blood that he was technically one himself, which is partially the reason as to why he even seemed to care about you. And you were surprised to find out that he still did once he returned to full demon… Well, almost full.

The entire time you’d known him, Crowley had never treated you any differently from your brothers. Never acted as though you couldn’t handle yourself, or looked down upon you because you were a woman. One who was much shorter than that of your gigantic brothers. He knew what you were capable of. Knew you could handle yourself in a fight. All in all he treated you like the hunter you were, which is why the second you saw that angel blade moving towards him, you knew you had to save him.

“Crowley!” You shouted, gaining his attention as you moved quicker than ever before, throwing yourself in front of the blade that might have killed him had you not taken the hit for him.

You gasped harshly as the blade penetrated your stomach, the tip of it almost coming straight out your back. Your skin burned fierce as you fell back against Crowley, who stood directly behind you, his arms catching you before you hit the ground.

“Easy, darling.” Crowley said softly, lowering you to the ground as he held you in his arms, watching as you choked on your own blood, your hands fumbling blindly around the wound in which the angel blade still stuck out of. “Don’t. You pull that out, you die… You understand me?” He added, his voice wavering a touch that only you could hear it.

“I’m sorry… I… She… She got in the way.” The hunter who’d stabbed you babbled out, his mouth gaped from shock. From confusion as to why a Winchester would take the hit for a demon. But before he, or anyone else for that matter, could say anything, Crowley raised his hand and with a quick twist of it, the hunter fell dead to the floor. His neck broken.

“C-Crowley.” You spluttered, blood spewing out of your mouth, dripping down your chin as you breathed raggedly, gasping for air which you couldn’t seem to get into your lungs. You couldn’t begin to explain the pain in which you felt. The burning sensation inside your stomach. Yet at the same time you felt numb. Cold. Like you didn’t have many ragged breaths left in you.

“You’re okay, darling.” Crowley soothed, brushing your hair from your face before the two of you vanished, the warehouse around you changing before your very eyes and before you knew it, you were in the hospital. “Can I get some help here?”

The hospital staff were quick to swarm you, your body landing on a gurney, wheeling you away from Crowley who stood anxiously by the nurses station. He knew your wound was bad. Knew it may very well kill you. And he knew he shouldn’t care. That he should find joy in the death of a Winchester but things were different now. Especially between the two of you.

He’d never dream of seeing you dead. Or your brothers for that matter. He’d never dream of laying a hand on you. Never dream of putting you in harm's way and yet somehow, without even meaning to, without even doing anything but being present at that warehouse, he’d gone and hurt you. He’d done the one thing which he swore he’d never do again, he’d hurt you, and if you didn’t pull through, he wasn’t quite sure what he’d do afterwards… That is, if your brothers didn’t kill him first, which to be honest, he probably wouldn’t even fight at that point.

The wait for news on you was long, even for a demon, but the second he heard your name being called by the doctor, he was on his feet faster than ever before. And when the doctor told him you’d survived, that you’d pulled through, well he very nearly found himself thanking God.

“You scared me.” He said softly, the second he saw your eyes flutter open as you lay still on the hospital bed.

“You’re a demon…” You said weakly, trying your best to smile. “You shouldn’t get scared.” You finished, coughing lightly as you turned to look at him. He looked so normal sitting by your side, his coat draped over the back of the chair and his suit jacket unbuttoned. It was as though he was human.

“You and I both know I’m not a regular demon, darling.” He said with a touch of humour now that you’d seemed to have regained yours. He stood up, stepping closer to you as his hand lingered in the air, as though he was unsure whether you’d want him to touch you.

“You can touch me.” You whispered, watching as the faintest smile rose on his face, one that would go unnoticed by those who didn’t truly know Crowley. Not like you did anyway. His hand landed atop your forehead, feeling the heat radiate from your skin as you closed your eyes briefly, relishing in his touch.

“Why did you save me?” He asked in a whisper, your eyes opening slowly as your gaze shifted from him a little. “Why did you take the hit?”

“Because I couldn’t… I...” You croaked out, lip trembling as your eyes began to water. “I couldn’t let him kill you.” You finished, your voice breaking as you finally turned to look at him again. He reached down, gently wiping away the tear that had rolled down your cheek.

“You know, there was a time in which you’d have been the one behind the blade, not the one diving in front of it.” He said as you sniffled, bringing your own hand up to wipe at your eyes.

“Times have changed.” You whispered, a quiet sob escaping up your throat and leaving your lips as nothing but a breathy sigh, one which told Crowley all he needed to know about you. And the way you felt about him. You could see him moving, feel him getting closer and the second his lips brushed against yours, allowing you to feel the roughness of his beard, you very nearly passed out again.

“That they have, darling, that they have.”

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And today was no different as when you woke, your eyes fluttering sleepily open at the sound of rowdy neighbours in the motel room beside yours, you were quick to feel the cold seep into your body. Right down to your bones in a way that had you shaking almost immediately and it was as though someone had you on vibrate.

Normally you’d just pull the covers back up and nestle into the bed until you felt a smidge of warmth beneath your skin. But this morning you really, really needed to pee, therefore you couldn’t wait any longer otherwise you’d burst. So you were left with no other choice but to suck it up, and face the cold of the room.

Before you did that though, you glanced to your side, the early morning sun that crept through the thin curtains casting perfectly over Gabriel’s sleeping face, making you smile softly as you still couldn’t seem to wrap your head around the fact that you were dating an archangel.

If someone had told you back when you first met him, when he was making people believe they were being abducted by aliens and having alligators roam about the sewers, that you’d be here with him now you’d have laughed in their face.

Yet here you were, nestled beside one of God’s first born angels in bed after a night of… Fun. And honestly? If you could go back and do it all over again, you wouldn’t change a thing as there wasn’t anywhere else you’d rather be than right here next to him.

Well actually, there was one place you’d rather be right now and that was the bathroom. You may have stared dreamily towards Gabriel a little too long and now you were on the verge of being unable to control your bladder anymore. You swung your legs out of bed, wincing at the sudden coldness that cascaded over you, erupting your skin in fierce goosebumps that could be seen from a mile away, they were that prominent.

Your feet hit the linoleum floor with a soft thud, sending a chill straight up your legs as they carried you around the bed. You grabbed the first article of clothing you could find on your way across the room, of which most of your clothes had been scattered about last night in yours and Gabriel’s vigorous attempts at speeding things along as it had been a while since you last saw each other.

It didn’t click in your head that you’d picked up Gabriel’s shirt. The dark red button down that the angel favoured so much, which was evident by how often he wore that same outfit as he never had any reason to change. He didn’t sweat, not like humans did. He was able to clean them up with a click of his fingers should they get bloody or dirty, therefore he could wear the same clothes for a lifetime and never once need to change them.

And you were totally not jealous of that at all. (You were.)

But anyway, you didn’t seem to realise that you were wearing it, not until you left the bathroom, feeling much better, and spotted him sitting upright against the headboard, his arms folded over his chest and a rather cheeky grin on his face.

“Look at you…” Gabriel exhaled, trailing his eyes up and down the length of your body, drinking in the sight of you hidden away beneath his shirt. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were purposely trying to turn me on.”

“What are you talking about?” You chuckled, hurrying towards the bed again as even though your top half was covered, your legs were still bare and you always did get incredibly cold feet.

“You’re wearing my shirt.” Gabriel pointed out, watching with amusement as you slowed down on your travels across the room and glanced down at yourself.

He could see that smile itching to rise on your slowly blushing face. The way your hand landed on your stomach telling him it was fluttering beneath the fabric of his shirt and it was only then you both came to realise that even after the years you’d been seeing each other, you’d never once worn an article of his clothing.

“I was cold.” You said shyly, dipping your face to hide it from him.

You didn’t know why it felt so… embarrassing to be caught wearing his shirt given the things you both did together, but perhaps it was because it was seen as a more romantic thing than inherently sexual is what made you a tiny bit nervous as to his reaction.

“There’s no need to be shy, hotstuff.” Gabriel said playfully, cocking his head a little to motion for you to come towards him. “Not when you look far better wearing it than I ever could.”

He held out his hand the closer you got to him, pulling you onto his lap the second your fingers brushed and the moment you landed on him he could feel the goosebumps on your legs as they straddled him. His hands were quick to delve beneath the material, holding you close to him and allowing his own body heat to help warm you as he kissed you.

“Mhm, you like seeing me in your clothes, don’t you?” You teased, your shyness gone instantly as your arms slinked around his neck, fingers threading through his hair. “In nothing but your clothes.”

“You’re damn right I do, baby.” Gabriel whispered, the hotness of his breath puffing out over your lips before he took them in his again, kissing you with enough heat that it was like your entire body went up in flames. “It’s almost better than seeing you without any clothes at all.”

He kissed you once again, his hand trailing its way up your back, his fingers ghosting over the bumps of your spine in a way that had you shiver beneath his touch. Your own hand slipped from his hair, dropping between your bodies as you slowly began to pop open each button, something Gabriel was well aware of given how his lips rose beneath yours as he couldn’t help but smile.

It’s safe to say that what happened after that final button popped open, the way your bodies pressed tightly together; each brush of his lips and graze of his hands over every inch of your skin, was enough to make you forget all about the cold. And enough to make you want to wear his clothes forever as after that, you were pretty sure you’d never feel anything but hot ever again.

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But tonight you just weren’t feeling it. You’d had a bad case. The worst case in a long time and you really weren’t feeling up to spending half the night with an archangel between your legs, no matter how fun and pleasurable it was.

Tiredly, you stepped into your bedroom that, low and behold, Gabriel was already occupying. You closed the door, glancing towards him just in time to catch that playful smile on his face, the sheets barely covering him as he waited for you to greet him like you normally did. Which was to throw yourself on him as you never were one to waste time. Not when it came to this anyway.

Only, tonight you didn’t. Tonight you didn’t even acknowledge him with anything more than a half assed smile that you had to force out as you peeled off your blood stained jacket, dumping it straight onto the floor instead of your laundry hamper.

“Baby?” Gabriel sat up a little, brow furrowing over your distant behaviour as this wasn’t like you at all. You hated mess so for you to leave your clothes lying messily about? Well that was the first sign that you weren’t exactly feeling like your usual self.

“Not now, Gabriel.” You sighed breathily, pulling off your t-shirt which quickly joined your jacket in a heap on the floor. “I’m not in the mood.”

“Everything okay?” He asked, growing worried when he got nothing but silence in response as you continued to undress.

The further you moved into the light the more he could see it. That faint redness to your otherwise glistening eyes and the deep, dark circles beneath them that were the starting point for the stains that ran down your cheeks.

Even as you rummaged through your drawer he could still see the way your lip never fully settled, trembling lightly with every quiet breath that parted them and it was clear that you’d more than likely only just finished crying.

“Come here.” He said softly, patting the bed next to him which had another quiet sigh escape your mouth as you misread his intentions.

“I said I’m not in the mood.” You mumbled, clumsily throwing your night shirt over your head and ending up with your arm in the wrong hole, which might have pushed you to the brink had Gabriel not shuffled towards you to help you into it properly.

The second the material sat right on your shoulders his hands moved up, brushing your hair from your face before gently cupping it. His thumbs ghosted lightly across the blackened marks beneath your eyes, watching as they began to shimmer faintly in the dim light of the room.

“Rough day?” Gabriel said quietly, barely a nod of your head answering him as you couldn’t quite find the words to. He moved back across the bed, pulling the cover down and motioning for you to join him.

You were quick to do so, feeling that warmth seep into your body as you nestled yourself next to him, his arm draping around you the instant you settled. His chin landed atop your head, his other arm wrapping tightly around you as you buried your face against his chest, allowing the comfort he brought to fully engulf you.

It was a little strange for you to be like this as Gabriel never was one for cuddles, at least not like this as he happened to like the after sex cuddles you both shared, but that was mainly due to his likeness to see your reaction afterwards.

You weren’t exactly “exclusive” either, given what he was and nothing ever seemed normal with him. But in this moment, as you did nothing but lay in his arms where you could feel the rise and fall of his chest, it felt more normal to you than anything ever had. Only at the same time, you couldn’t help but worry that you were bothering him by being so down.

“You don’t have to stay with me, you know.” You whispered, your voice barely audible for even yourself to hear but luckily for you Gabriel had celestial hearing which meant he heard you perfectly. “If you have better things to do.”

“There isn’t anything better than this, sweetheart.” He said sincerely, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head before his cheek came to rest atop it.

You nuzzled your own over his chest, where you could make out the gentle rhythm of his heart beneath your ear. Every quiet beat only brought you more and more comfort. Made you forget the day as the tension slowly faded from your body with every minute you lay there, neither of you saying a word as you simply enjoyed each other's company.

You didn’t know when you’d have this again. This moment. This peace. And so for as long as you were able, you’d be making sure to cherish each moment, as Gabriel was right… There truly was nothing better than this.

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Sam and Dean had left hours ago on some hunt involving a werewolf or a vampire, you didn’t know and frankly you didn’t care. Jack and Cas were on a hunt of their own too, a little ghost problem, nothing too big for the still new to hunting nephilim. But you? Well you just needed a break. You just needed a little while to yourself, to get your head on straight and try to relax a little. You’d never felt this overwhelmed, never felt so overstimulated with the goings on around you.

It was all getting to be too much lately, between getting locked up for months for trying to kill the president, who was actually Lucifer, but you try telling that to the secret service without getting thrown in a padded cell for the rest of your life. To ending up in a parallel world, one where you came face to face with an alternate version of the man you called your father. One who had no idea who you were as you didn’t exist in that world.

Let’s not even get into the whole alternate Michael situation… You were still reeling from that but at least now it was over. It was all finally over. All the battles and the stress, but to you… To you it felt like it was just starting as now that you were alone, now that you had a second to actually think for yourself, you felt the weight of the last few months come crashing down on your shoulders. And hard.

You’d never felt like this before, not to this extent anyway. You knew you shouldn’t be alone but you couldn’t talk to Sam and Dean about this, not when you still felt so embarrassed from the last time you fell into one of these episodes. Castiel didn't understand you and Jack… bless him, he tried to help but the kid was technically only three years old so the most he could offer you was a hug and a pat to the head, one where he whispered ‘It’s all going to be okay’. Something you wanted to believe but couldn’t bring yourself to actually do.

You didn’t think it was ever going to be okay, not when you hadn’t seen the one person, the one angel, you needed to see most in this world. It had been weeks since you last saw Gabriel, since he returned to Heaven to restore some order amongst those left and truthfully, you needed him. You’d never needed him more which is why the second you found yourself on the brink of falling over the edge, you prayed to him.

It didn’t take more than five seconds for that flutter of wings to fill your bedroom and the second you heard it, the second you felt the slight puff of air against your skin, you very nearly started crying.

“Gabriel.” You whispered, your heart warming over the mere sight of him as you slid off your bed, falling against his chest the very second your feet hit the cold ground, needing to feel his heart beat beneath him.

“Hey, hot stuff.” He greeted, placing a soft kiss atop your head as his arms engulfed you, holding you tighter than ever as you simply clung to him, finding that you were unable to stop your lips from rising just a little over his pet name for you, the one he always used as he did often say there was nothing hotter to him than you. “You doing okay?”

“Not really.” You mumbled against his chest, your fingers gripping his shirt tightly as though you were afraid he’d be taken away from you again. It’s been too long since you last saw him and you’d be damned if you allowed him to leave you again so soon.

Gabriel leaned back, making you straighten as he came to hold your face in his hands, his thumbs drawing slow circles on your skin. It was funny how a simple touch from him, mixed with that look on his face, the one that showed you that you were the only thing he truly cared about, could make you feel so much better than you’d done a second ago.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Gabriel asked softly, feeling your hands land atop his forearms, your gaze dropping to the floor before he gently drew your head back up. The second your eyes landed back on his, your lip started trembling, your stomach knotted together and you could already feel the pressure on your chest, as though someone was sitting on it, stopping the air from getting to your lungs.

“It’s just…” You began, your breath hitching as you tried to speak. As you struggled to get any air into your body.

Gabriel led you to the bed, sitting on the edge beside you as he took you hand in his, his thumb gently stroking across your palm, in slow, easy, strokes so that you could breathe along with each one. It took a second for you to find the rhythm, to ease yourself back into reality now that he was here with you, but nevertheless you did.

“That’s it, love. Just breathe.” Gabriel said soothingly, watching the slow rise of your chest as you focused on your breathing before you finally found your voice.

“I’m sorry… It’s just- Everything lately… It’s all been so much.” You whispered, wiping at your eyes as a few lone tears escaped them. “Between that prison…” You spat, thinking back to those months you spent all alone in a cement cell with nothing to do and no one to speak to. Literally on the verge of going crazy. “And-And the whole alternate world… Seeing Bobby again but not our Bobby. Not my Bobby… I just… I can’t take it anymore. It’s just all too much.”

“Come here.” Gabriel’s arms opened, allowing you to fall into them again as you cried quietly, needing to get all your emotions out before you burst. “That’s it darlin’, let it all out.” His hand gently stroked your hair, his other rubbed comforting circles on your back as he held you. Comforted you. Allowed you to cry for as long as you needed.

“You know…” He began, even his voice being a comfort to you. “I’ve been around for a very long time. A very, very long time. I’ve seen more presidents than I can count. Seen more Kings and Queens than you can even imagine. But the one thing I’ve never seen my whole life, is someone as strong as you…

“You’ve been through Hell, literally. You’ve been through so much crap, some of which I put you through myself and I’ll never be able to fix that. Never be able to apologise enough for the things I put you through…

“But what I can do is tell you that you’ve got this… You’re the strongest person I know and if anyone can handle this, it's you. And on days where you think you can’t? Well, lucky for you… That’s what I’m here for. Because I’ve got you too. You aren’t alone, darlin’. For as long as I’m alive you’ll never be alone… If all you need is a hug, or someone to talk to… Someone to complain about Sam or Dean to…” He continued, making you chuckle a little as you did sometimes call him just to complain. “Or even a little something else.” He added, gently poking your side which had you arch it away from him.

It wouldn’t take a degree in rocket science to know what he meant by that.

“Whatever it may be… All you need to do is pray and I’ll be here. For as long as you need me to be.” He said softly, placing a kiss on your head before you finally looked up at him with red rimmed eyes. He leaned down, pressing his lips gently against your forehead, feeling the tension leave your body beneath him before he pulled back.

“I love you.” You whispered, one final tear rolling down your cheek which Gabriel quickly wiped away, bringing his hand to rest on your cheek.

“I love you too, hot stuff.” He said with a smile, a different smile to that which he usually sported. This smile was for you. The one that only you got to see in moments like this, when the two of you were at your most vulnerable with each other. “Do you need anything? Bubble bath? Foot massage?”

“I just want you to hold me.” You said quietly, fiddling with your fingers as you didn’t want to come across pathetic.

“Alrighty… If that’s what you want, then you bet your sweet ass I’ll hold you.” He replied, kissing your forehead once again before he simply clicked his fingers, having you changed into your favourite pyjamas without you so much as having to stand up.

Honestly, you were still jealous over his ability to do that… It would save you so much time if you had the power to do it yourself.

“Hop on in.” Gabriel gestured to the bed, which was made up in your favourite sheets, your favourite stuffed animal waiting for you by your fluffy pillow. You happily shuffled back, sliding beneath the warm covers where Gabriel joined you the second your head hit the pillow.

You moved towards him, nestling yourself up against him as your head came to lie upon his chest, one arm draping around you and his other took hold of your hand, bringing it to his lips to place a kiss against your knuckles. You breathed in, taking in his signature scent which was enough to allow you to feel the stress leave your body. All your thoughts settled, nothing but this moment right here present inside your head.

Most people had a favourite place, whether it be that perfect spot by a lake, or at the beach, perhaps at Disneyland. But yours? Your favourite place, your most treasured and special place to be, was right here… In the arms of your archangel.

Prompt List

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