Foolishly Forgetful

I FORCEFULLY REMOVE THE SUITORS FROM MY HOUSEHOLD

1-800-ARE-YOU-SLAPPIN

my mom has finally understood the concept of how to use “tea” as slang, but only kind of. she came into my room and said “jessie, i have tea today” and i was obviously like what happened but as it turns out she just thinks tea means information so she told me that she got avocadoes on sale. that was the tea. 

Damn RIGHT that’s the tea

I hate it when microwave meals say things like “delectable” and “exquisite” on the packaging. I’m eating radioactive garbage just let me live

tragic that someone this sexy has to go through this much

The Spanish translation is better than the original English line

Oh my god is this a cat or a sheep?

a shat

Dont call it that please

sir that’s my emotional support youtuber

my furry ass when the werewolf pulls out his knot

This is what we would have deserved if STEPHANIE MEYER hadn’t been such a COWARD

Theres still time for Kristen to star as a lesbian in some gay vampire movie.

pulling a wholesome gone girl > actually killing yourself

My anxiety, depression and ADHD interacting

I heard they literally did this for an hour, stoned out of their fucking minds

Incredible

Sinbad went home and fired his agent 😂