The boys decided to take a break from recording and touring just to have time to themselves. Your brother, Jolly invited you along but being in the same room as Folio was going to be hard; you were so afraid of your crush getting out.
How were you going to survive this?
Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four (Slowly working on)
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Iâve been MIA in reading anything on hereâs on the 11th I went to the emergency room with extreme abdominal pain. Sat there from 3:45 to 9pm when they finally tried to get my vitals. Didnât even process my urine sample until after 9. Apparently I was suffering from an ectopic pregnancy which ruptured left fallopian tube. I had a liter and a half of blood in my stomach: the pain was unbearable. Had to be air lifted to the actual hospital equipped with the right surgeons. Iâm still trying to process that I was pregnant and lost it.
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The salon was loud in that comforting, familiar way; dryers humming, low music playing, overlapping conversations blending into background noise. It was easy to disappear into it. Easy to let it carry things forward without thinking too hard.
Freja was already mid-story by the time Y/N sat down beside her.
ââand then he just stares at me,â Freja said, gesturing with her hands as her nail tech worked. âLike I didnât just answer his question perfectly.â
Y/N smirked. âBecause you intimidated him.â
âI did not intimidate him.â
âYou absolutely did.â
Freja huffed. âWhatever. I still passed.â She paused, âWith flying colors,â she added, just a little proud.
Y/Nâs smile softened, genuine this time. âI knew you would.â
Freja glanced at her, a small grin tugging at her lips. âYeah, yeah. Thanks for the help.â
Y/N shrugged lightly. âOf course.â
They talked while their nails were shaped and filed, drifting from one topic to the next without really thinking about it. It was easy here. Contained. Safe. No heavy conversations, no lingering tension trying to push its way back in.
âSo,â Y/N said, glancing over as her nail tech started on polish, âone of my clients today told me about this new place downtown. Said itâs really good.â
Freja perked up slightly. âLike how good?â
âGreat food, warm atmosphere, good drinks,â Y/N said. âHer words, not mine.â
Kylie, Y/Nâs nail tech, chimed in immediately. âOh, noâsheâs right. You need to go.â
âAbsolutely,â Kylie said. âItâs actually reasonably priced too, which is rare for places like that.â
Freja nodded once, decisive. âOkay. Sold.â
Y/N grinned. âThat was easy.â
âFood is a strong motivator.â
âFair.â
The restaurant lived up to the hype.
Warm lighting, soft chatter, the kind of place that felt cozy without trying too hard. The kind of place you could sit for hours and not notice time passing.
Y/N took a sip of her drink, nodding almost immediately. âOkay, yeah. I absolutely need to thank Amanda next week.â
Freja laughed lightly. âTold you it sounded good.â
âYou didnât tell me anything, Kylie did.â
âDetails.â
They split an appetizer, picked at it while they talked, then moved on to their meals without ever really pausing the conversation.
It bounced everywhere: weekend plans, random stories, things that didnât matter and didnât need to.
âSpeaking of this weekend,â Freja said, setting her fork down for a second, âmy parents asked if you wanted to come over tomorrow. Theyâre doing a cookout.â
Y/N scoffed immediately. âDuh.â
Freja smirked. âThat was fast.â
âIf I donât show up, your dad will personally come kidnap me,â Y/N said, taking another sip of her drink. âYou know that.â
âAccurate.â
âWho else is gonna stand there and drink beers with him while he mans the grill?â Y/N added. âYou? Absolutely not.â
Freja rolled her eyes. âI could.â
âYou wonât.â
âI might.â
âYou wonât,â Y/N repeated, grinning.
Freja huffed a laugh. âOkay, yeah. I wonât.â
âExactly.â
There was a comfortable pause as they both ate for a minute.
Then Freja glanced at her again, more casually this time. âYou good?â
Y/N didnât even hesitate.
âYeah,â she said, just as easy. âIâm good.â
For the moment, she almost believed it because here, across from Freja, surrounded by noise and warmth and things that didnât demand anything from her, it was easier to pretend nothing had shifted. Easier to sit in the version of things she knew how to handle.
Freja watched her for a second longer, like she was checking, not pushing.
Then she nodded. âGood,â she said simply.
And let it stay there for now.
âY/N took another sip of her drink, letting the conversation settle for a second before she glanced back up at Freja.
âSo,â she said casually, swirling the straw in her glass, âhow are things going with Folio?â
Freja groaned, covering part of her face with her hand. âDonât start.â
âThat face screams serious,â Y/N continued, absolutely delighted. âWhat did I miss?â
Freja tried to fight the smile pulling at her lips, but it lost almost instantly. âWeâve just been⌠talking.â
âAbout?â
Freja hesitated for half a second, then just said it. âGetting a place together.â
Y/N froze. âShut up.â
Freja laughed, a little breathless now. âIâm serious.â
âNo, youâre not,â Y/N said, shaking her head, eyes wide. âYouâre lying to me.â
âIâm not lying!â
Y/N leaned back in her chair, staring at her. âFreja.â
âIâm serious!â
âFreja.â
Freja laughed again, softer this time. âOkay, yesâitâs serious.â
Y/N let out a disbelieving huff, then broke into a huge smile. âThatâs insane.â
âIn a good way,â Freja added quickly.
âIn a great way,â Y/N corrected. âAre you fucking kidding me?â
Freja relaxed into it a little, her smile turning softer, more grounded. âItâd be nice, honestly.â
Y/N tilted her head, listening.
âIt gives me stability while Iâm still in school,â Freja continued, tracing her finger lightly along the rim of her glass. âBut it also gets me out of my parentsâ place.â
âWhich youâve been dying for,â Y/N added.
âExactly,â Freja said. âAnd Folioâs been really⌠good about it.â
âHow?â
âHe told me to focus on school first,â she said. âLike, actually focus. And if I need to cut my hours at work down, I can.â
Y/Nâs expression softened again.
âHe doesnât want me running myself into the ground,â Freja added quietly. âEspecially with my internship starting soon.â
âThe one that pays basically nothing?â Y/N teased lightly.
Freja huffed. âUnfortunately, yes.â
âLove that for you.â
âRight?â she laughed. âBut stillâitâs experience. And he gets that.â
Y/N nodded slowly, a small smile pulling at her lips. âThatâs⌠really good, Frej.â
Freja glanced at her, something a little more vulnerable in her expression now. âYeah?â
âYeah,â Y/N said, no hesitation. âLike, really good.â
Freja smiled, softer this time. âThanks.â
Y/N leaned forward slightly, nudging her foot under the table. âIâm so happy for you.â
Freja let out a small breath, like she hadnât realized she needed it. âThank you.â
Y/N took another sip of her drink, letting that happiness sit there, letting it be genuine, uncomplicated, untouched by anything else.
Because this? This was easy to feel. Easy to celebrate.
Even if, somewhere in the back of her mind, something else tugged quietly, she didnât let it reach the surface. Instead, she smiled at Freja and said, âOkay, but important question.â
Freja raised a brow. âWhat?â
âWho gets the bigger closet?â
Freja laughed. âAbsolutely me.â
âRude.â
âCorrect.â
âFolioâs gonna regret this decision.â
âHe already knows what he signed up for.â
âDebatable,â Y/N grinned.
And just like that, they were back in it. Light. Easy. Exactly how it had always been.
They both laughed, the sound easy and familiar, like nothing in the world had shifted at all.
Y/N leaned back slightly in her chair, tilting her head as she looked at Freja. âSo whatâs the planâare you guys just gonna jump straight into getting a new place together, or are you migrating into his current one first?â
Freja took a sip of her drink, thinking for a second before answering. âProbably his place first.â
Y/N nodded once. âThat makes sense.â
âItâs nice,â Freja added. âLike, really nice. And thereâs no rush to find something bigger right away.â
âYeah,â Y/N said, a small smile pulling at her lips. âIt is a cute place.â
Frejaâs eyes flicked to her, giving her a look.
âWhat?â Y/N asked, narrowing her eyes slightly.
Freja smirked. âThereâs a guest room, you know.â
Y/N blinked. âOkay?â
âHe already said itâs yours,â Freja continued casually, like she wasnât dropping anything significant. âWhenever you wanna crash.â
Y/N let out a laugh, shaking her head. âManâso even if you move out of your parentsâ house, Iâm still part of the package, huh?â
Freja laughed with her. âYou are.â
âThatâs crazy.â
âAnd he knows it,â Freja added.
Y/N raised a brow. âOh, he knows it?â
âHe does,â Freja said. âI actually think heâd be offended if we stopped our childish sleepovers.â
Y/N snorted. âWhy?â
Freja shrugged lightly, a small smile lingering. âBecause we still have them now.â
âThatâs fair.â
âAnd he knows weâve been doing this forever,â she continued. âHe doesnât want us to stop just because I moved out.â
Y/N nodded slowly, her expression softening just a fraction. âThatâs⌠actually really sweet.â
âIt is,â Freja said quietly.
Y/N glanced down at her drink, fingers tracing the edge of the glass before she looked back up, lighter again. âWell,â she said, a small shrug in her shoulders, âyou just let me know if Iâm ever too much.â
Frejaâs reaction was immediate. Her brows pulled together, confusion flickering across her face. âWhat?â
Y/N waved it off quickly. âYou knowâlike, if Iâm always there, orââ
âHey,â Freja cut in, firm but not harsh.
Y/N stilled.
âYouâre not âtoo much,ââ Freja said, holding her gaze. âYouâve never been too much.â
Y/N opened her mouth, but Freja didnât let her brush past it.
âI mean it,â she added. âYouâre part of my life. That doesnât just⌠change because my address does.â
Y/N held her gaze for a second before she nodded, softer this time. âOkay.â
Freja leaned back slightly, her tone easing again. âBesides, if anything, youâre the only reason I wonât go insane.â
âWow,â Y/N said dryly. âThatâs a lot of pressure.â
âIt is,â Freja said, completely serious.
Y/N huffed a laugh. âGood thing I thrive under pressure.â
âDebatable.â
âRude.â Y/N smiled, shaking her head as she took another sip of her drink.
Freja watched her for a second longer, like she almost said something, then decided not to.
Y/N hummed softly, tapping her fingers against her glass like she was thinking something through.
âIâm gonna have to reassure Elias Iâll still come see him,â she said, glancing up at Freja.
Freja laughed immediately. âYes. Please.â
âIâm serious,â Y/N said, though she was already smiling. âHeâs gonna think I abandoned him.â
Freja shook her head, still laughing. âNo, my parents need it more than he does.â
Y/N raised a brow. âOh?â
âThe wrath that six-year-old will reign upon that house if you stop coming around?â Freja said, pointing at her. âTerrifying.â
Y/N let out a laugh, leaning back slightly. âThatâs fair.â
âHeâll unionize,â Freja added. âStart making demands.â
âGood for him,â Y/N said. âKnow your worth, king.â
Freja snorted. âExactly.â
Y/N shook her head, still smiling. âI canât abandon my little buddy.â
There was a small pause before something else clicked into place in her head.
Her expression shifted, a little more thoughtful, a little more her again.
âActually,â she said slowly, âif youâre moving outâŚâ
Freja narrowed her eyes slightly. âWhat are you plotting?â
Y/N ignored that. âMaybe Iâll invest in an air mattress.â
Freja blinked. âAn air mattress.â
âYeah,â Y/N said, warming up to the idea. âAnd Iâll be the cool aunt that has him over for sleepovers.â
Frejaâs face lit up immediately. âOh my god.â
âSo your parents can actually have time alone,â Y/N added, shrugging like it was no big deal.
Freja laughed, shaking her head. âHe would be over the moon.â
âI know,â Y/N said, a little softer now, but still smiling. âHeâd love it.â
âHeâd never want to leave,â Freja added.
âAlso true.â
Freja leaned forward slightly, grinning. âYouâre creating a monster.â
âI already did,â Y/N shot back. âIâm just evolving him.â
Freja laughed again, resting her chin in her hand as she looked at her. âYou really love that kid.â
Y/N didnât hesitate. âYeah.â
Frejaâs expression softened a little at that. âHe really loves you too, you know.â
Y/N looked down at her drink for a second, then back up, smile smaller but still there. âYeah. I know.â
Then Freja nudged her foot under the table. âYouâre gonna have to commit now.â
âTo what?â
âTo being the cool sleepover house,â she said. âSnacks, movies, the whole thing.â
Y/N groaned. âOh no.â
âOh yes.â
âIâm gonna have to buy likeâkid-approved snacks.â
Y/N huffed a laugh. âThis is how I end up being the favorite, isnât it?â
Freja raised a brow. âYou already are.â
âDamn right.â
They both laughed again, the conversation slipping right back into that easy rhythm, plans stacking on top of plans, jokes layered over something real.
Y/N took another sip of her drink, letting the conversation settle into a comfortable lull before she spoke again, casual, like it didnât carry any weight at all.
âSo,â she said, glancing up at Freja, tone light, steady, normal, âwhat does Jollybean think about all this? You and Folio.â
Freja didnât catch anything off about it.
Why would she?
Y/Nâs expression was relaxed, her posture loose, voice even. No tension. No hesitation. Nothing to suggest there was anything sitting underneath the question.
Nicholas wouldâve been proud.
Freja shrugged slightly, reaching for her drink. âHeâs fine with it.â
âJust⌠fine?â Y/N asked, a small smirk tugging at her lips.
Freja rolled her eyes. âYou know what I mean.â
Y/N hummed. âDo I?â
âHe likes Folio, clearly,â Freja said. âThereâs no weird tension or anything.â
âThatâs good,â Y/N nodded.
âItâd be more surprising if there was,â Freja added. âTheyâre literally in a band together.â
âFair.â
Freja studied her for a second, then added, âHe just wants me to be good.â
Y/Nâs fingers stilled slightly around her glass.
âGood how?â
Freja shrugged. âTaken care of. Not stressed. Not overwhelmed.â
Y/N nodded slowly. âThat sounds about right.â
âHe doesnât say a lot about it,â Freja continued. âBut heâs⌠observant.â
Y/N let out a quiet huff of a laugh. âYeah. Thatâs one way to put it.â
Freja smiled faintly. âYou know how he is.â
Y/N did. Better than most.
She took another sip of her drink, letting the coolness ground her for a second before she set it back down.
âDid he give Folio the whole âif you hurt her, Iâll kill youâ speech?â she asked, tone teasing.
Freja laughed. âNo.â
âReally?â
âNo,â she said, still smiling. âBut I think Folio got the message anyway.â
âProbably just from existing around him,â Y/N muttered.
âExactly.â
They both laughed softly.
The conversation stayed light. Easy. Safe.
Exactly where Y/N needed it.
Because this? This she could handle.
Talking about him like this. Indirect. Detached. Like he was just another part of the background of their lives.
Not the center of something sheâd spent years ignoring.
Not the person sheâd seen that morning, sitting across from someone else, looking like he fit there in a way that made her chest tighten.
She didnât let any of that show.
Didnât let it bleed into her tone, her expression, her body language.
Nothing.
Because she knew sheâd have to be okay eventually.
There wasnât another option.
Jolly wasnât someone she could avoid. Not realistically. Not long-term. His name, his presence, his place in her life, it wasnât going anywhere.
So she did what she always did: adjusted, compartmentalized. Kept it neat. Controlled. Manageable.
Freja didnât notice a thing, and Y/N made sure it stayed that way.
Even if, underneath all of it, it still stung in a way she hadnât quite figured out how to ignore yet.
Totally scrapped the 4th chapter of It Happened One Night, rewriting it and trying to focus on more detail and staying in the right tenses. I have a habit of switching up first person and second person.
warnings: pain and suffering and heartbreak... and more pain :) i'm not very happy with this chapter, it feels kinda boring to me but it is more of a filler chapter just to lead up to the next one (which will be much better lmao)
i've worked out that i could make this a 20 part series with perhaps an epilogue... leading into a mini sequel 𫣠i think i had a request a while back about writing quarantine with hedonist!noah, and it's been on my mind ever since, but i want to get the story finished before i think about writing it!! i just love hedonist!noah too much to ever let him go :(
¡ ¡ â ¡âśÂˇ â ¡ ¡
Neither of you really slept that night. Noah laid there on his back for hours, staring up at the ceiling in the darkness of his room, replaying every second of the night over and over again- the makeup running down your cheeks, the look on your face, the exact moment he saw your heart shatter to pieces, the way you flinched when he reached for you, the way the door slammed shut behind you. The way you said it so certainly, so final. âWeâre done.âÂ
Before he knew it, his alarm was going off. He assumed he was to go into work as usualâŚ
He dragged a hand over his face, letting out a long sigh as he sat up on the edge of his bed. His chest ached, it felt heavier than it ever had before, and his eyes were sore from the lack of sleep- or was it from the tears?
His phone sat on his bedside table, and he reached for it to silence his alarm. He then picked it up, checking for any messages⌠but none of them were from you. So he locked it again and set it back down.Â
He got up and went by his morning as usual- get in the shower, get dressed, grab keys, leave. But the drive to the shop felt different today, usually you'd be by his side, sat in the passenger seat, or on the phone- speaking to him through his car speakers. But today the drive was silent, though he didnât notice, because his mind was loud enough to fill the emptiness.Â
By the time he pulled into the parking lot, he felt nervous. He wasnât sure what to expect when he walked in- would you be there waiting for him so you could tell him heâs fired, or have you had time to think and realised you want to give him another chance?Â
He parked up, but sat there in his car for a moment. He hadnât felt this nervous since his first day, when he found out Steve had a beautiful niece who worked in the office. Now he was nervous because he knew he screwed it all up, and he held on to the tiny bit of hope that now you were sober youâd be thinking differentlyâŚÂ
But as he walked through the big door into the workshop, he spotted a box sitting by a stack of tires. He thought nothing of it until he saw his name scribbled across it, written in your handwriting. Thatâs when his stomach dropped.Â
He looked towards your office, the door was half open and he could see you inside, sitting at your desk. He swallowed hard before he slowly started to walk, pushing the door open a little more as he stepped in.Â
As soon as he did, you looked up, and for a moment neither of you said anything.Â
It was obvious to the both of you that you were feeling the same, that neither of you slept, your eyes were red and swollen, you looked exhausted in a way that had nothing to do with work- and he knew he didnât look much better.Â
He cleared his throat and finally spoke, though his voice was quieter than usual.Â
â...Morning.âÂ
It felt wrong the moment he said it, because it made it feel like everything was normal, like nothing happened, which you both knew was far from the truth. Still, you held his gaze for a moment longer before you looked away, going back to typing out an email.Â
âMorning.â You said back, your voice flat and devoid of emotion, which hurt him more than if you were to just ignore him.
Noah stood there awkwardly for a moment, shifting his weight on his feet.Â
â...That box out there-â
âItâs your stuff,â you cut in, still not looking at him, âFrom my place. Everything you had there.â
There was no hesitation, no softness in your voice, you were just straight to the point. He clenched his jaw, nodding his head.Â
âRightâŚâÂ
Then you were both silent again. You werenât reading anything, or typing anymore, you were just staring down at your keyboard to avoid looking at him- because you knew youâd crack if you did.Â
Youâve never seen him like this. Noah was always too confident for his own good, cocky and arrogant sometimes in the beginning, full of himself, annoying- but right now he looked drained, he looked heartbroken, and you hated it.Â
You hated that you still cared. You hated that you couldnât hate him.
âI didnât throw anything away.â You added after a moment, your voice a little softer now but still distant enough to make his heart hurt, âIâm not that kind of person⌠I figured youâd want it all back.âÂ
Noah swallowed again.Â
âYeah⌠thank you.âÂ
You both paused, Noah lingered there in silence, like he knew you both had so much to say, but you were both afraid...
But you did have things to say, and you knew he had to hear it sooner rather than later, so you straightened up in your chair, like you were bracing yourself, and you forced yourself into business mode. Because this is the only reason youâre both here together now. To work.Â
âIâll keep you on for now,â you said, forcing your voice to stay steady despite the lump in your throat, âUntil I find someone new.âÂ
His brows drew together slightly.Â
âWhat?â
You finally looked back up at him and he hated it, there was nothing soft left in your expression at all. There was no warmth, that look of pure love had completely vanished overnight. And to be honest, he couldnât blame you. This is what he deserved.Â
âI need a mechanic,â you said simply, âI canât run the shop on my own.âÂ
âSo what, I just stay until you can replace me?â He asked, his chest tightening as he thought about it.Â
âYes.â You said, no apology, no hesitation, no putting it nicely. Just the truth.Â
â...And then what?â He asked.
âThen youâre out. And I never have any reason to speak- or even look- at you again.âÂ
That hit him right where it hurts. He took a slow, deep breath before nodding his head slightly.Â
âRight.â He said as he exhaled, and then you looked back down at your desk again, like the conversation was done.Â
At least it was for you, but he didnât move. There were too many things sitting on his chest, too many words he wanted to say last night-
âYou didnât even let me explain- last night, I mean.âÂ
Your hands paused over your keyboard for a second, before they continued moving again.Â
âThereâs nothing to explain.âÂ
âYes there is,â he insisted, stepping forward slightly, âYou only heard one side of it, you only heard what you wanted to hear and things were probably twisted-â
âDonât.â You warned, your voice sharp as you looked up at him again. âDonât make it sound like this is on me, Noah.âÂ
âIt is on you, you didnât even-â
âYou said yes.â You cut him off, your voice raising despite how hard you tried to keep calm, âI asked if it was true and you said yes. I canât be with someone who can⌠who can do that to me. So this is it. I will not be treated like that.âÂ
He stared at you, feeling his heart shatter more and more.Â
âSo this is it?â He asked, his voice rougher now, âWe're over? After everything?â
You let out a weak, humourless laugh as you shook your head.Â
âThatâs the problem, Noah.â You sighed, âI thought it was everything too. It seems you thought otherwise.âÂ
You saw the way his lips pressed together as if to stop them from trembling, and that was almost enough to break you.Â
âIâve got things to do,â you said coldly, âIf youâre working today then thereâs a car booked in at eleven, the brakes need looking at.â
His heart ached at the way you spoke to him, like this was normal, like he was nothing more than an employee. And he stood there for a moment longer, just waiting for something, for anything⌠but you didnât look at him again, so eventually he turned and walked out of your office.Â
And the second the door softly clicked shut behind him was when you broke down. It hit you all at once, and the professional act you had to put on like a mask slipped. Your hand flew up to your mouth as you choked on a sob, tears blurred your vision as they finally spilled over again, too fast to wipe away. Your chest ached so much that it hurt to even breathe.Â
Youâre such an idiot, you thought to yourself as you squeezed your eyes shut, shaking your head like you could push it all away, like you could undo it all. Like you could go back to yesterday morning, and tell the girls you werenât feeling well, anything to remain blissfully unaware.Â
But you couldnât. Because it happened now, you found out and he even confirmed it.Â
All along, it had meant nothing.Â
You werenât supposed to be like this, you werenât supposed to let someone else make you feel this way. You werenât supposed to need anyone. You built your life so you wouldnât have to rely on anyone else, but then he came along and changed it all⌠now you couldnât imagine living the rest of your life without him.Â
And you hated that you couldnât shut it off. That you couldnât stop caring, you couldnât stop loving him.
You hated that you wanted him to try harder, to walk back through the door and fix it.Â
âŚ
It was finally time for you to take your lunch break, and you hadnât spoken to Noah again. Not properly at least, a few customers came in and you had to call his name, but thatâs as far as it went.Â
You managed to distract yourself with work though, invoices and emails and phone calls, but every time you heard a tool drop, every time you saw his shadow, every time he spoke to a customer, your heart ached.Â
But you closed your laptop, you stood up, grabbed your keys, and walked out of the office. Though, instead of leaving through the front door, you passed straight by him in the garage.
You could feel his eyes on you, but you didnât stop or slow down.Â
âIâm going on lunch,â you said flatly as you walked past, âIf the phone rings please answer it.â
âYeah, of course.â He said. But that was it.Â
You didnât give him the chance to say anything else, because then you were out the door, already walking around to the back where your car was parked.Â
You walked straight up to it, your hands shaking slightly as you fumbled with your keys before finally getting inside.
The second the car door shut, you finally let yourself breathe. Your head fell back against the seat, your eyes squeezing shut as you let out a long, shaky breath.
âOkayâŚâ You whispered to yourself.
You managed to last all morning. You held it together all morning. But now you needed to let it out.
You grabbed your phone and scrolled through your contacts until you found Jess. You didnât even think before pressing the call button, and it only ran twice before she picked up.Â
âHeyâŚâ Jess answered, her voice immediately concerned. âAre you okay? I didnât hear from you after you left last night, I donât know how many times I texted you-â
âItâs true.âÂ
You were met with silence on her end.
ââŚWhat?â Jess finally asked, her voice a little quieter now.
âItâs true,â you repeated. âWhat she said. About Noah.â
Jess went quiet again for a moment.
âWhat the fuck?â She finally said, completely thrown. âI thought Maya was just- I thought she was making shit up!â
âMe too,â you whispered, swallowing hard. âI thought she was lying, I thought- but I went to his place last night and I asked him and he⌠he said itâs true.â
A heavy silence followed, then Jess exhaled slowly.
âNoâŚâ she whispered. âNo, that doesnât sound right. That doesnât sound like him.â
âHe said it,â you insisted. âI asked if it was true and he said yes!!â
âBut that doesnât make sense,â Jess said, more to herself now. âThe way he is with you-â
âI know!â You cut in. âI donât know whatâs real anymore, Jess! I donât know if any of it was ever real!â Your chest ached again, and tears started to blur your vision. âI never wanted to get into something like this and I did it anyway because I thought- I thought he was different-â
âI know,â Jess said softly. âI knowâŚâ
âAnd he even said he loved me,â your voice dropped, quieter now but somehow more broken. âI said it first⌠but he said it back. I believed itâŚâ
Jess didnât interrupt you or try to come up with a solution, she was just letting you let it all out. She knew you just needed someone whoâd listen.Â
âAnd now I donât even know if that was real.â You whispered. âHow can I believe anyone ever again?â Your hand came up to cover your mouth as another sob slipped out.
ââŚWhat exactly did you say to him last night?â Jess asked carefully.
âI donât remember much of it, but I asked him if what Maya said was true,â you replied, your voice shaky. âAnd he just- he didnât even hesitate, Jess. He just said yeah. And that he was sorry and it wasnât meant to happen the way it did andâŚâ you let out a weak and broken laugh, âWhat am I supposed to think?â
Jess went quiet again.
ââŚHe said it wasnât meant to happen the way it did?â She repeated slowly.
âYeah.â
She went quiet again, but for longer this time, like she was thinking.Â
âThats weirdâŚâ
Your stomach turned.Â
âWhat do you mean?â
âI donât know,â she said, sounding a little uncertain. âThat just⌠doesnât sound like an answer to that question.â
You frowned slightly, confusion slipping through the hurt.
âWhat?â
âI mean⌠if you asked him if he only wanted to sleep with you to be your first, why would he say âit wasnât meant to happen the way it didâ?â Jess said. âThat sounds like heâs talking about something else. Surely if he just wanted to get in your pants, thatâs exactly what he wanted to happen., and it worked out just fine.â
âWhat are you saying?â
âI donât know,â she said quickly. âIâm just⌠Iâm saying maybe thereâs been some kind of misunderstanding?â
âNo,â you cut in immediately, shaking your head even though she couldnât see you. âNo, Jess, thereâs no misunderstanding. He said yes.â
âBut you donât know-â
âHe said it,â you repeated firmer, even as your voice trembled. âI heard him. He said it to my face.â
Jess sighed softly.
âOkay⌠okay,â she said gently. âIâm just saying, maybe donât shut down on him completely yet. Just⌠maybe talk to him again when youâre calmer-â
âI canât,â you whispered. âI canât talk to him or I know what'll happen. Iâll give in. And I don't want him to think I'm just like all the other girls he's been with. I won't let him think I'll just put up with this shit.â
Jess began to speak again, but you werenât listening⌠because your phone buzzed as you held it to your ear. You pulled it away slightly, glancing down at the screen.
New message from Aunt Lindaâ¤ď¸Â
Your stomach dropped instantly.
âUh⌠hang on a second.â
You opened the message.
Hi darling, just wanted to let you know theyâve scheduled Steveâs heart surgery for Friday. Heâs acting like itâs no big deal, of course⌠but I thought you should know. Iâll keep you up to date with everything x
You felt your heart sink, your whole body suddenly went ice cold.
ââŚOh my god.â You whispered.
âWhat?â Jessâs voice came through quickly. âWhat is it?â
You swallowed hard, your chest tightening all over again, but this time it felt different. It was less upsetting, more terrifying.Â
âItâs Linda,â you said quietly. âShe said Steve- heâs going in for surgery... next week.â
Jess inhaled sharply.
âOh shitâŚâ
Your head fell back against the seat again, your eyes closing as everything hit you at once.
What the fuck did you do to deserve all of this?
âI canât do this,â you whispered, your voice breaking all over again. âI actually canât do this, Jess.â
âYou can,â she said softly. âYou can. You donât have to deal with everything alone, or at once, okay? Just deal with one thing at a time-â
âHow?â You cried, âHow the fuck do I even begin to deal with this?!âÂ
âŚÂ
Your break felt like it passed in just a couple minutes, rather than an hour. When it was time to go back to work, you didnât want to move. But you knew you had to.Â
So you got out of the car and walked towards the building again, walking in through the door into your office, but as you stepped inside you stopped. Because Noah was there, standing by the small counter in the corner, using the coffee machine.Â
Part of you wanted to turn around and leave⌠but you didnât.Â
You quietly stepped in, wiping at your cheeks, hoping it didnât look like you spent your break crying in your car. But as the door shut behind you, Noah turned around, and the second his eyes landed on you his face softened.Â
ââŚAre you okay?â He asked carefully.
God, you didnât want to cry in front of him, so you pressed your lips together, sealing them shut as you shook your head.Â
He picked up his coffee mug with a little frown as he carefully stepped around your desk. All he wanted to do was reach for you, hold you in his arms, kiss you- but he knew he wasnât allowed to anymore.Â
âI-â he hesitated, then tried again, quieter. âI got a text from Linda.â
Your eyes lifted up to him for a second.Â
âShe said Steveâs surgery's scheduled,â he said gently, âItâs next week.â
You nodded slowly, feeling your throat burn.Â
âYeah,â you managed, your voice small. âShe texted me too.â
Silence settled between you, but this time it was different. You both stood there, both holding back from wrapping your arms around each other, both hurting.Â
He shifted his weight on his feet, taking a sip of his coffee, his eyes not leaving your face. He was trying to read you, trying to work out what was going on in your head, because he hated seeing you like this and it was even worse knowing there was nothing he could do to help.Â
âI know this is a lot,â he said quietly. âAnd for what itâs worth, Iâm sorry. You donât deserve any of this.â
For fucks sake Noah.
Your hand came up, pressing against your lips like you could physically hold everything in, because you felt it all building up again. It was too much, especially all at once. You felt your chest ache, the lump in your throat was back- and Noah noticed it all.Â
Without thinking, he took a step forward, but then stopped when he remembered. Instead, he let out a soft sigh.Â
âI know you hate me right now,â he said softly, âAnd you have every reason to, but I need you to know Iâm here for you. Whether weâre on good or bad terms, whether you want me or not, I will always be here, okay?â
Your eyes squeezed shut for a second, because you did want him. And that was the problem.Â
But you couldnât give in, after everything, you wouldnât let yourself. So you just nodded, not trusting yourself to speak, and he understood. Or at least he understood enough, as he didnât push. He didnât move closer or force you to say anything or try to fix it.Â
He just stood there, close enough to be there but still far enough to respect your boundaries.Â
It made him feel sick knowing the person he loved more than anyone or anything was hurting, and that it was mostly his fault. He hated that you were holding yourself together by threads, that you wouldnât even look at him properly anymore.
But he didnât allow himself to be selfish right now, he didnât let himself make it about him, he just wanted to be there for you through your uncleâs surgery, especially after Steve had told him to look after you.
âIf anything happens I need to know sheâs in safe hands.âÂ
But now heâs fucked it all up. And he couldnât fix it.
He exhaled slowly, running a hand through his hair before slipping his red beanie back on.Â
âIâll⌠be out there.â He said quietly.
But you shook your head.Â
âGo on your lunch break.â You said as you sat down at your desk, opening your laptop back up again so you didnât have to look at him.Â
âBut itâs not-â
âItâs fine, Noah. The next customers booked in at 2.â
He nodded his head and took the final sip of his coffee before reaching for his keys and jacket.Â
âI wonât be long.â He said, not expecting a response.Â
And with that, he left.Â
âŚ
During his break, Noah decided to drive to one of the small shops not far from work. It was near the restaurant that Maya worked in, and he made sure to poke his head in to see if she was working today⌠but she was nowhere to be seen. In a way he was glad, because he wasnât sure how kind or patient he was feeling today.Â
So then he headed into the little store, he grabbed a sandwich and a bag of gummy bears before his eyes caught on a pretty bouquet of flowers, like the ones he bought you for Valentinesâ Day.Â
He stared at them for a moment, debating whether he should or not⌠he didnât have much money, only the coins that were in his jacket pocket. But he didnât care. Heâd put back the sandwich if he had to.Â
He picked up the flowers and handed the items over to pay, counting the coins from his pocket- thank god he just had enough.Â
He knew he couldnât make up for everything with a cheap bouquet, it wouldnât even scratch the surface of everything that was wrong, but he didnât know what else he could do. He couldnât fix this with words right now, because you didnât want to listen. But maybe this- something small, a little quiet gesture- would show you that he wanted to fix this. He didnât want to let you go, and heâd spend the rest of his life apologising if it meant youâd even think about giving him another chance.Â
By the time he got back to work, his chest still felt heavy, and he wondered whether this was a good idea, or if itâd actually make things worse⌠anyway, he walked in through the garage door, and peered into your office. He couldnât see you⌠good!Â
He made sure to move quickly,Â
He stepped inside, glancing around your office- your desk looked just how it did earlier, papers scattered, your pen resting off to the side, your mug of tea half finished⌠but then he saw that you still had the little picture of him on your desk. The silly one you took when he showed you the polaroid camera heâd bought- he thought itâd be hilarious to take fake mugshots of each other, so his one sat on your desk, and yours was on his desk in his bedroom.
He hesitated for a moment by your desk, he assumed you were in the bathroom right now so you could come out at any moment and see him there, standing by your desk holding a bouquet of flowers.Â
So he moved quickly. He set them down gently on your desk, his heart aching as his eyes lingered on them for a second before he turned and walked away, leaving your office just as quietly as he came in.Â
By the time you came back he was back in the workshop. You didnât even spot the flowers at first, not until you sat down.Â
They looked like they had been carefully placed, like whoever had left then didnât want to make a big deal of it.Â
Your stomach twisted, because you knew exactly who bought them. Nobody else would, no one else had a reason to- nobody else knew those were your favourite flowers.Â
You tried so hard to force your mind to stay exactly where it was, to not go there, to not let the thoughts creep in. But they did anyway.Â
If what Maya said was true⌠then why would he still be trying?
You chewed your lip as you thought, staring at the flowers as your chest started to rise and fall slower, heavier.Â
It didnât make sense.Â
If it had all been some kind of game to him- something shallow and meaningless like she was making it out to be- then whatâs this? A quiet gesture with no audience, no way of knowing how youâd react⌠just flowers on your desk.Â
Your throat tightened as Jessâs voice echoed in the back of your mind.
âMaybe thereâs been some kind of misunderstandingâŚâ
You shook your head quickly, like you could physically push the thought away.
No. You werenât doing this. You werenât about to sit here and start doubting everything just because of a bouquet. He probably felt bad- he probably just wants to keep his job. Yeah, that was it⌠thatâs what this is about!
But a part of you wanted to believe otherwise.Â
With a long sigh, you pushed your chair back just a little so you could get back up. You knew there was a vase tucked in the back of the cupboard- a customer had bought you flowers years ago when he found out it was your birthday, and when Steve told Linda she immediately drove over with a vase so you could put them on your desk- so you moved things around and eventually found it.Â
You crossed the room with the vase in your hands, washing it out before filling it with water from the sink before reaching for the flowers. You remembered what Linda taught you that afternoon, and you cut the stems at an angle before placing them inside.Â
You didnât let yourself think about how he mustâve gone out of his way to get them for you, how you knew he didn't have much money left right now, how he didnât even make a point to let you know he got them. You just set the vase down on your desk and stepped back.Â
You looked at them for a moment- they sure were pretty- but then you looked away. Because if you stared at them for too long, you might start thinking again. And you couldnât do that right now.Â
You sat back down, pulling the papers toward you again, forcing your attention onto work, numbers, time slots- anything that wasnât Noah.Â
And even though you tried, your eyes still drifted back to the flowers every now and then.
âŚ
The rest of the day was painfully slow. Every hour dragged, every minute stretched longer than it should have, at one point you thought today would never end.Â
You kept your head down the entire afternoon, burying yourself in anything that resembled work, anything that gave you an excuse not to think. But it didnât matter, because nothing really distracted you.Â
By the time things started winding down, the sky outside was growing darker and darker, you were still pretending to be busy. But then you heard the sound of the toolbox shutting, and the thud of his work boots on the concrete ground until he stopped just outside the office door.Â
Then there was a soft knock, making your heart jump.Â
âYeah?â You called out, then the door began to open.Â
Noah quietly stepped inside, like he was trying not to take up too much space. He reached for his jacket and slung it over one arm as he grabbed his keys, like heâd come in for exactly that and nothing more.
But he didnât leave straight away like you were starting to think he would. His eyes found you first, and then the flowers. You saw the way his expression changed, how he almost looked surprised that you kept them⌠but he didnât say anything, he didnât ask or point it out. He just looked back over at you.Â
And then the air between you felt heavier again.
âI justâŚâ He started, then stopped, like he was trying to find the right way to say what he wanted to say.
You stayed still, watching him and waiting, not helping him out.Â
âCan we please just talk?â He asked finally.
There it was. Youâve been waiting for this for the last hour, youâve been dreading it. As much as you wanted him to tell you âhis sideâ, you didnât want to risk it when you knew how easily youâd give in. Even though you had so many questions, even though the whole situation confused you, you let out a soft exhale.Â
âThereâs nothing to talk about.â You said softly, almost apologetic.Â
You saw the slight change in his posture, the way his jaw tightened just a little, like he was trying not to react too quickly.
âThere is.â He said quietly.
You shook your head.
âNoah-â
âJust hear me out,â he cut in, stepping forward slightly. âThatâs all Iâm asking. You donât have to forgive me, you donât have to do anything. Just let me explain, please.â
Your stomach twisted, because a part of you wanted to say yes, but then again⌠he said it. Your jaw clenched as you looked up at him again, your expression hardening just slightly.
âYou already did.â
His brows pulled together.
âWhat?â
âYou said it was true. Thereâs nothing more to explain, Noah. Iâm not going to go round in circles again.â
Frustration crossed his face as he shook his head.Â
âBut itâs⌠itâs not what you think. Maya-â
âThen what is it?â You shot back, your voice rising now despite yourself. âBecause it sounded pretty clear to me.â
He stepped closer again, more urgent now.
âYou didnât let me finish.â
âI didnât need you to,â you replied immediately. âYou said enough.â
He stared at you like he didnât recognise the person in front of him. Like he didnât understand how things had gotten here when just 48 hours ago your limbs were tangled together, wrapped up in his sheets, holding each other like you were all you needed.Â
ââŚPlease,â he said again, quieter this time. âJust give me five minutes.â
You swallowed hard as you looked away, because if you kept looking at him like that you might just break. And you couldnât, not now. Not after youâd stood your ground all day.Â
âThereâs nothing to fix,â you said, softer now, but no less firm. âItâs done, Noah. You can go back to your groupies now, you can tell all the other girls that-â
âI donât want anyone else.â He said, âI know Iâve fucked up, and I-â
âFucked up?â You scoffed, âIs that all you think this is. You fucked up, you think an apology and some shitty flowers are gonna fix this?â
Noah didnât argue this time. You could tell that hurt him, he just stood there for a moment like he was trying to decide whether to keep pushing or finally let go⌠and finally, he nodded his head once, slipping his arms into his jacket.Â
ââŚRight,â he said under his breath. âOkay.âÂ
But just before he could leave, you spoke again, because there was one more thing.
âCan you do me a favour?â
He looked up at you again, a flicker of what looked like hope crossing his face at the fact that you were still talking.
âYeahâŚ?âÂ
You swallowed, looking up to meet his eyes.Â
âCan you give me my stuff back?â You asked. âFrom your place.â
His expression faltered a little.Â
âWhat?â
âMy things,â you clarified. âWhatever I left at your place?"
He felt his heart get crushed again, because he knew what this meant. This wasnât just about having your stuff back, it was about closing the door properly. Making sure there wasnât any reason to speak again once he was replaced at work.Â
His gaze dropped for a second before lifting back to you.
âSure.â He said finally, his voice quiet and flat. âIâll drop it off tomorrow.â
Your chest ached, but you nodded anyway.
âThanks.â
He didnât say anything else, he didnât try again or push, he just stood there for one last second, like he was waiting for something⌠but then he turned and reached for the door. Then he walked out, and you didnât stop him.Â
âŚ
By the time you got home, you didnât want to be alone. Being at home didnât feel right without him, you had gotten so used to his presence, every room now had memories that you tried so hard to push down, but the whole place just felt different. Itâs almost like it didnât feel like home anymore.Â
So you finally send an answer to Jessâs text that she sent earlier.Â
Jess: Itâs date night tonight, Iâm going out with Sam but weâre stealing you. No arguments x
You: Sorry itâs been a long day, Iâll explain whilst weâre outÂ
Jess: So youâre coming with us? :)
You: Well you said no argumentsâŚ
Jess: YAY!!Â
You didnât have the energy to look put together, and you didnât feel like you had a reason to either. You just changed into a nicer outfit than you were wearing, and got in the car when you spotted Sam pulling up to your place.Â
The bar wasnât too busy, which you were glad about. There were a few groups of people scattered around, but Jess quickly rushed over to an empty booth, and Sam slid in beside her. You took the seat across from them, pulling your jacket off slowly as you glanced around.Â
âThis is nice.â You said.Â
Jess smiled softly.
âThought youâd like it.â
Sam nodded, giving you a small, reassuring smile.
âPerfect place to drown your sorrows, huh?â
You huffed out a quiet laugh.
âWeâll see⌠Iâm gonna go up and get drinks, what do you guys want?âÂ
âJust a non-alcoholic beer, please. Someoneâs gotta be the designated driver.â Sam smiled, already reaching into his pocket.Â
âDo you really need to ask me?â Jess chuckled when you looked at her.Â
âRum and coke?â You raised an eyebrow, and she nodded her head with a little grin.Â
âHere,â Sam said as you were about to get up, âFirst rounds on me.âÂ
You looked down at his hand, and he was holding out his card. Your heart did a stupid flip, thatâs the kinda thing Noah wouldâve done...
âThanks.â You said a little quieter as you took the card from him and made your way up to the bar.Â
You ordered your drinks, paid, then took them back to the table, gently placing them all down.Â
You sat back down with a sigh, then for a moment the three of you were just quiet. It wasnât awkward⌠if anything, it was just careful, you could tell neither of them wanted to say the wrong thing.Â
But then Jess leaned her elbow on the table, her chin resting in her hand as she studied you for a moment before she spoke.Â
âSo,â she said gently, her voice soft. âHow was your day?â
You let out a small breath through your nose, your gaze dropping to the table as you thought.
âIt wasâŚâ you paused, trying to find the right word, but nothing quite fit. âLong.â That was good enough.
âYeah?â Jessâs eyes softened.Â
You shrugged slightly, tiredly.Â
âI tried to just⌠get through it, you know? Focus on work. Pretend everythingâs normal.â Your lips pressed together gently. ââŚBut itâs not.â
âDid you have to see him?â Sam asked.
Your stomach flipped.
âOf course she had to see him, Sam, they work together!â Jess scoffed.Â
âNot for much longer.â You said quietly, catching their attention.Â
â...What?â Jess asked.Â
âI made some calls, sent some messages and⌠Iâm interviewing someone tomorrow.â
âBut you donât work on Sundays?â Jessâs eyebrows drew together, but you shook your head.Â
âI know, but I donât care. The sooner heâs out the better.âÂ
But Sam frowned slightly.
âYou really mean that?â
Your eyes darted up to him.
âWhat?â
âYou seriously donât want to talk to him first? Properly? Youâre just getting rid of him before he even has the chance to explain himself?â
Your heart hurt, and you looked back down at the table, your jaw clenching as you tried to hold onto the certainty youâd had earlier⌠the anger, the clarity, the finality of it.
âI have to.â You said, before lifting your head again.Â
âHave to⌠or you want to?â Jess asked, reaching over the table to take your hand in hers.Â
That hit deeper than you expected. Did you really want to?
âI donât-â you shook your head, exhaling slowly. âI donât know. But I canât go back on it now. I canât just let him explain and then... what? Change my mind? After everything he said? Make up and act like nothing ever happened? Pretend like he didn't just want to get in my pants?â
Sam watched you quietly for a moment, wondering whether saying these words were a bad idea or not⌠either way, he still said them.
âI canât believe itâs true.â
Jessâs head snapped toward him immediately.
âSam!â
But he didnât look at her, he was looking at you.
âIâve only met him once,â he continued. âThat Halloween party at my place, remember? He came with you, and nobody knew it was his birthday.â
You blinked, your brows pulling together slightly as you tried to follow, though the memories were already making you feel sick.Â
ââŚYeah. I remember.â
He nodded.
âAnd even then,â he said, leaning forward slightly, resting his forearms on the table as his fingers wrapped around his bottle, âI remember thinking that this guyâs completely gone for you. Jess had to keep reminding me that you two werenât a couple.â
Your breath caught, and Jess suddenly went quiet beside you. Sam shrugged like it was nothing, but there was nothing casual about what he was saying.
âI mean it,â he added. âThe way he looked at you, the way he hovered around you the entire night, the way he paid attention to everything you saidâŚâ He shook his head slightly. âThatâs not a guy whoâs just trying to get into your pants. Trust me- Iâm a guy.â
Your heart suddenly ached with every beat in your chest, and your vision began to blur from the tears in your eyes.Â
âBut⌠I don't get it if he said it was true.â You whispered.
âI know,â Sam said gently. âIâm not saying youâre wrong. Iâm just saying⌠it doesnât line up with what I saw. What we all saw.â
That was it. That was all it took.
Because youâd been holding it in all day, forcing yourself to stay strong, to stay angry, to stay certain. But you wouldnât last much longer.Â
âOh my god-â you choked out, your hand coming up to your face as your shoulders started to shake.
Jess climbed over Sam, and was beside you instantly.
âHey, hey, itâs okay-â
âI donât know what to believe anymore,â you cried, your voice breaking. âI donât know if Iâm being stupid or if Iâm just ignoring something obvious or-â
Jess pulled you into her side again, her arms wrapping around you tightly.
âYouâre not stupid,â she said firmly, her hand cradling the back of your head. âYouâre just hurting. You're dealing with so much right now... I wish I knew how to help you better.â
âŚ
Noahâs house didnât feel like home to him anymore.Â
It felt like something was missing. It felt colder than it ever had. It felt lonely.Â
He sat on the edge of his bed, elbows resting on his knees, his hands pressed hard against his face. The room was quiet- no music playing, no background noise, nothing to distract him from the way his thoughts kept circling and looping and haunting him.
He almost felt sick. Like something was sitting there in his chest, lodged deep, refusing to move no matter how hard he tried to breathe through it.
He dragged his hands down slowly, his palms rubbing over his face before falling uselessly into his lap. He looked to his side, he had opened the overnight bag you kept at his place, the one you used to bring your things over in all those weeks- possibly months- ago. Then he looked around his room, and god it was almost like you had moved in.Â
You were everywhere.Â
Hair ties and random jewellery on his bedside table, your jacket draped over the back of his chair, the pile of dirty clothes on the floor that he said heâd wash for you the morning of the day this all kicked off.Â
He stared at everything for a moment, almost afraid to move. But he knew he had to. He told you he would give you your things back.Â
He pushed himself up slowly, then he began. He reached for the nearest thing, which happened to be the hair tie. It was such a small thing. Insignificant, really. Something you probably didnât even think twice about leaving behind.
But he picked it up carefully, turning it between his fingers.
He remembered you standing in front of the mirror, tying your hair up absentmindedly while talking to him about something- he couldnât even remember what anymore. Something normal. Something that didnât hurt.
He swallowed hard as he placed it into the bag before forcing himself to move again.
The jacket came next. He hesitated before picking it up because it still smelled like you. It was very faint, but it was there. His grip tightened around the fabric as he brought it closer for just a second, his eyes closing briefly before he caught himself.
âDonât.â He whispered, like he was telling himself off. Like he didnât deserve that.
He exhaled shakily and folded it instead, more carefully than he needed to, before placing it into the bag.
Piece by piece, item by item, he moved through the bedroom packing your things. Your charger, your pajama top, the little bottle of conditioner youâd left in his bathroom because you refused to use his 5-in-1.Â
He let out a quiet, broken huff of a laugh at that, his smile turning into a frown as he tried not to cry again, because it hurt. Because there was no one there to laugh with him. No one to roll their eyes, to call him an idiot. It was just quiet⌠and he hated it.Â
âŚ
The next morning, the sky was grey and the rain was pouring, tapping against the windshield of Noahâs car, blurring the view of your street.Â
Your bag was sitting on the passenger seat, and he glanced over at it, then back at your house. The lights were all off, and your car wasnât there⌠he guessed you werenât in. He swallowed as he reached for his phone, hesitating for a moment on your contact before he pressed call.Â
However, the call didnât even go through. It rang once, then cut off.Â
He frowned slightly as he pulled the phone away to check the screen, like maybe heâd accidentally done something. But he hadnât, because he tried again⌠and the same thing happened.Â
He felt his chest tighten as he realised what this meant. He wasnât angry, and he certainly wasnât surprised. It just hit him for some reason.Â
Youâd blocked him.Â
He let out a soft breath through his nose, his head tipping back against the seat for a moment as the rain started to fall harder, the sound of it growing louder.Â
Then he moved, he reached over to grab your bag before pushing open the car door and stepping out into the rain. He couldnât believe how quick it soaked through his hoodie in the short walk up to your front door.Â
He knocked once⌠then again⌠but there was still no answer. He waited for a moment, he glanced at the windows, but he couldnât see any movement. Clearly you werenât in.Â
He couldnât leave your bag out in the rain, he couldnât let your things get soaked- but then he remembered. He still had your house key.Â
He slipped his hand into his pocket and slowly pulled it out, it was attached to his house key and the spare he had for Folioâs from when his parents would let the band practice in their basement. He stared at your key for a moment, realising this was the last thing, the last piece of you he still had, aside from-
He swallowed, cutting that thought off before it could go any further.Â
He stepped forward again and slid the key into the lock, twisting it, then he hesitated for a moment before pushing it open. But when he did, the warmth hit him. Then the silence followed.Â
Your house had never been so quiet.Â
He slowly stepped inside, careful not to drip everywhere as he closed the door behind him gently. Your home still smelled the same. It still smelled like you. It still made his heart flutter in a way he shouldnât let it anymore.Â
Just put the bag down, hang the key up, and leave. He told himself⌠but he couldnât help but linger in the hallway, just standing there for a moment, wondering if this was the last time heâd ever step foot in your house.Â
He could still remember the first time he came over, the night he picked you up when you were out with your friends, when you were drunk and wanted to go home but didnât want to leave alone. He could still remember walking through the door, taking it all in for the first time, and getting lost on the way to your bathroom.Â
He crouched slightly by the kitchen door, setting the bag down gently by the wall, making sure it wouldnât tip over. Then he straightened back up, but he didnât leave straight away.Â
He just looked around the house. Nothing was different, but everything felt different. Maybe it was because you werenât here? Maybe it was because he wasnât supposed to be here?
His gaze landed on the kitchen counter, and he slowly stepped over to it without really thinking. He then reached into his pocket, pulling the key out again, taking it off the keyring.
He looked at it for a long moment, turning it in his fingers, remembering the way you handed it to him one day, so casually, like it wasnât a big deal.
âIn case you ever need it.â
He swallowed hard before gently setting it down on the counter, taking one last look around at everythingâŚ
And the memories suddenly came back all at once. You leaning against the counter as you watched him cook, making fun of something he said, or playfully arguing with him over something. The way you giggled between kisses when he was trying to shut you up, his hands on your hips as he pressed you against the counter. The way you looked at him with hearts in your eyes without even realising it... he never thought it'd come to this.
But this was it. There wasnât anything left to hold onto now. You didnât want him here. Didnât want to talk. Didnât want to know him anymore.
So he turned around and walked back over to the door, and reached for the handle to pull it open slowlyâŚÂ
The rain was still falling as he stepped out, but he didnât care any more. He pulled your door shut behind him and didnât look back.
¡ ¡ â ¡âśÂˇ â ¡ ¡
this is actually half of what the original chapter was as i decided to split it in two, it made sense so there wasn't soo much going on, i feel like it paces the story a little better :) however, that does mean that the next chapter is already written, and it's a very intense one đŤŁ
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warnings: inebriation (weed and an alcohol mention) but otherwise itâs pure fluff.
summary: it feels like forever since you were last able to spend time with folio thanks to how busy his scheduleâs been â not that you would ever lament the fact aloud to him. but when he comes home after tour and asks if you wanna hang out, how could you say no?
an: wanted something sweet to keep the creativity flowing while working on killed & born again and iâve been wanting to try to write folio for a bit.
listen to stargazing by myles smith if you want a song to describe the reader x folio dynamic.
word count: 2,314
âYou trust me, right?â
Thereâs something so sincere about the way Nick asks it that you couldnât come up with a sarcastic response even if you tried. All you can do is nod your head, watching as he reaches up and fiddles with the headlamp heâd put on just a few minutes earlier, brown eyes nearly going cross as he attempts to look up at his forehead. Something close to a laugh escapes you at the sight, and your hands are already reaching up to help adjust it into the proper position before you even realize that youâre doing it, murmuring out a soft, âHold on, lemme get it,â as you do.
He had texted you a week ago out of the blue: home soon, wanna hang out??
It wasnât unusual for the text chain between the two of you to go quiet when he was on tourâyou understood how demanding that kind of schedule could be, how easy it was to get caught up in the there and now when your life was chaos. You made sure you never complained about it once, more than content to send memes or good wishes into the void until Folio remembered he had a phone and that he should check it. When youâd received the text asking if you wanted to hang out, youâd made yourself sit on your hands for nearly thirty minutes before sending off a quick yeah, letâs do it to make sure you didnât seem too eager.
Which, in hindsight, was funny as hell when he had sent back đđ¤ immediately.Â
Now here the two of you were, standing in front of the closed parking lot gate for Sugarloaf Mountain, Folio fiddling with the headlamp heâd brought because the sun was already starting to set on the horizon and it wouldnât be long before he was taking you into the woods and hiking in the dark. Some part of your brain tries to supply that this is absolutely how horror movies start, and youâre about ready to suggest that maybe the two of you wait until tomorrow when the sunâs up before those stupid brown eyes of his find yours and he grins.
God. Youâd do anything for that grin.Â
Including, apparently, hiking up a mountain in the dark.
âAre you positive we have to do this at night?â You ask, hands falling away from the elastic strap at Folioâs head so you can cross your arms over your chest.
âDonât tell me youâre getting cold feet on me!â Folio teases, hands starting to smack the pockets of his jeans like heâs searching for something.Â
âIâm not getting cold feet. Iâm just⌠being realistic. What if there are bears out there?âÂ
The snort he gives in response to your question has pink rising to your cheeks.Â
âIf youâre gonna worry about anything, Iâd worry about bobcats,â is all he says, content with the self-pat down heâd given himself and already turning to slide through the gap that exists between the parking gate and the wooden fence surrounding the parking lot.Â
All you can do is stand there in the aftermath, mouth slightly parted, before your body gets the memo and starts following after him. âWaitâwhat? Nick. Are you being serious right now?â He continues walking, obliviousâor flat out ignoringâyour question. âNick. Folio!â From ahead, you hear the sound of his laughter, fully pleased with himself as he forges on while you nearly trip over your own feet to catch up to him.
Oranges and purples paint the sky above you as the sun dips closer and closer to the horizon, late evening light dappling through the canopy of leaves overhead and painting the ground at your feet in a hatchwork pattern against the packed dirt. As the two of you walk, you listen to Folioâs voice as he recounts the highlights of the bandâs most recent tour: Noah chugging a container of hot sauce because Matt called him a pussy if he didnât, Jolly tricking crew into trying salted black licorice because he derives joy from watching others suffer, and how he himself played half a set in Wichita with his knuckles split open because heâd broken a drumstick and it kicked back on him.
You like hearing about the part of his life that you donât get to witness that often. Youâve met the rest of the guys in the band when theyâve come through close enough to Maryland that you were able to drive to a showâtheyâre good people, and you trust them to watch out for Nick because he doesnât always remember to watch out for himself. Not because heâs incapable, but because heâd rather put someone elseâs needs before his own. Thatâs one thing that youâve always liked about him: just how deeply he cares about the people around him, even if they may not realize itâtoo thrown by his chaotic energy.Â
But you know the sweetheart that lurks underneath.
Youâve watched him try and be statue-still in your backyard, handful of nuts extended and at the ready, all because a squirrel happened to hop a foot closer than usual and heâs ready to try and befriend them. You also remember the sheer joy that had taken over his face the first time that same squirrelâwell, Folio said it was, but you arenât sure about thatâtook a peanut from his hand and then ran clear across the yard to eat it. âDid you see that!â Folio had gasped, eyes wide and bright as they looked at you. âWeâre totally buds now.â
âHey, do you mind if Iâ?â Nickâs voice cuts and forces your mind to quit wandering and come back to the present.Â
You look up just in time to catch him pantomiming smoking, and your shoulders lift upwards in a shrug.Â
âGo for it. Weâre out in nature, arenât we?â
âWell, yeah. But I still wanted to check.âÂ
The smile he tosses in your direction is sheepish, but his hands are already moving to dig into his pocket to pull out a metal tin that you immediately clock as the Harley Davidson cigarette case youâd gifted him for his birthday last year. Thereâs something about seeing the giftâthat he uses itâthat has a small smile of your own curling at the corners of your lips as the two of you continue down the hiking trail. Purples and oranges have given way to the darker navy that slides in right before full sunset, warning the two of you that it wonât be long now.
âHow much further?â You canât help but ask after he finishes another one of his stories: this one about how Noah left him behind at a gas station because heâd been the last one to use the bathroom and, somehow, no one thought to check for him before leaving.Â
Folioâs head swivels in your direction at the question and for a moment, you find yourself staring into the Eye of Sauron as the headlamp flash bangs directly into your eyeballs.Â
âOh my godââ Your hand is already reaching up to shield your face.
âOh, fuck! Shitâfuck, sorry!âÂ
Lights dance across your vision as you pause, unwilling to walk further when you canât see and do something stupid like tripping over a root. You press the heels of your hands against your eyes, rubbing like thatâs going to help. Just a few feet in front of you, you can hear the sound of Folio fidgeting, soft curses spilling out of him as he works on angling the light up and away from your face so that he can step in and make sure youâre okay. Hands find your shoulders to keep you steady, and the familiar skunky smell of weed drifts in as Folio gets close.
Heâs always like this when he smokes; the usual concern he has gets cranked up to an eleven, anxiety creeping in around the edges even if it isnât warranted.
âYou good?â Warm hands move from your shoulders up to your face, rough palms cradling your cheeks as he looks you over himself like heâll be able to evaluate you before you can answer.
You have no idea how close the two of you are until you drop your hands and blink your eyes open. Despite the white orbs that still dance across your vision with every blink, what takes up a majority of your vision now is the concerned face of your friend whose expression is currently making him look like a golden retriever whoâs been scolded. Regardless of how much youâd like to blame the flush rising up to your cheeks on anything elseâthe cold, the weed, anythingâyou know it stems purely from your proximity to the man standing in front of you.
âMâfine,â you grumble, reaching up to rub at one of your eyes again because itâs easier to distract yourself than acknowledge the traitorous band of butterflies thatâs been unleashed inside your stomach. Youâd swear the metaphor is real, given the way your insides feel, and Folio isnât helping matters as he sweeps his thumbs just beneath your cheekbones.Â
âReally, itâs okay.âÂ
âI still feel like a dick. I forgot this thing was on my head.â
Even in the darkness you can see the furrow between his brows and the way his mouth pulls down into a frown that tells you heâs going to be beating himself up about this for hours. Sighing softly, you simply reach your hands up and place them on top of his, fingers curling underneath and taking hold so you can finally lower Folioâs hands away from your face. Still holding onto them as they rest in the space between you, your fingers give a gentle squeeze to his.
âYeah, well, Iâm gonna kick your feet out from under you when you least expect for payback.â
Thatâs enough to have a bark of laughter escaping out of himâentirely too loud for the quiet of the forest around you. Despite yourself, you feel your own laughter coming, Nickâs apparently too infectious for you to escape unscathed.Â
From that point on, the two of you keep walking hand-in-hand. With the headlamp corrected and pointing down to illuminate the ground once more, time starts to lose meaning with each additional foot between yourselves and the parking lot youâd left behind down at the base of Sugarloaf. All you know is that every time you ask Nick any variation of âare we closeâ he just chuckles to himself, squeezes your hand, and tells you to be patient.
When you finally get to your destination you understand why he didnât want to spoil the surprise.
Standing on a rocky outcropping that breaks through the thick treeline, the rest of the forest stretches out beneath you: trees nothing more than dark silhouettes against the sky. That, however, isnât what Nick had brought you out here for, because the moment you tip your head back to look at the expanse of night sky above your heads, you know what the real view was all along.Â
Above your heads, stars shine like glitter thrown against a black backdrop, while beside you, Folio is working to turn the headlamp off so you can have the full effect. The moon is full and high in the sky, shining like Nick himself had put it there deliberately just for youâlike heâd convinced the Goddess Selene herself to momentarily halt her chariot just so the two of them could have the best view of the moon in all its glory.Â
âOh, wow,â is all you can say, and you canât help but be annoyed at yourself for not having anything else.
Folio, however, is unbothered.
âPretty nice, huh?âÂ
His hand still hasnât left yours the entire time the two of you have stood there staring up at the sky. Swallowing thickly, you nodâfor all the good that will do you, itâs dark as hell and he likely canât see itâbefore you feel him gently pulling you forward and then sitting himself down on the rock and giving you a tug to encourage you to sit beside him. You can feel the cold of the stone seeping into your skin through the denim of your jeans as you adjust to get comfortable, yet canât bring yourself to care that itâs slightly uncomfortable.Â
Folioâs hands work at his pockets once more, pulling out the familiar cigarette case in addition to a small flask that heâs apparently been carrying with him as well. Both items are set down on the rock between the two of you, and for a moment, silence lingers; not uncomfortable but noticeable.Â
âHey, uhââ he starts, expression twisting with frustration at the clumsy start, âI just⌠wanted to say that Iâm sorry we donât hang out as much as we used to. Lifeâs just been so crazyââÂ
âDonât,â you carefully reply, stopping his apology in its tracks. âDonât do that. You donât have to apologize. I understand.âÂ
Silence once more, somehow loud despite having nothing to say.
âYouâre living your dream, and Iâm proud of you for that,â you continue, because you donât want him to get the wrong idea. âIâm so proud of you. And, I know it isnât easy. Youâre gonna have people in your life that donât understand. Iâm⌠Iâm not one of them.â Shifting to sit up straighter, your hand carefully searches for his in the space between you, fingers lacing together once you find it. âIâm just grateful for the time we do get together.â
For a moment, heâs quiet: unnervingly, uncharacteristically so, to the point you start to second guess yourself.
Then, he laughsâthis quiet, uncertain soundâand he leans into your space to rest his head against your shoulder. When he speaks next, his voice is quiet.
âWanna get high as fuck, sneak some whiskey, and stare at the stars for a bit?â
This was really fucking cute. Like, there's such a subtle ~*~feelings~*~ undertone, and the tension that comes with there's something more here, but it's still a cute little snapshot in time.
i feel like this took forever to write :') i did NOT expect the first part to blow up the way it did, so i'm really hoping the story lives up to it's expectations!! i'm still figuring out what should actually happen in it, so far i'm making it all up as i go along so if things don't add up in later chapters... just pretend it all makes sense!! 𫣠(also this may only be half proofread... i just wanted to post it now because i can't wait any longer hehe)
ăťâăťŕ¨ŕ§ăťâăť
You didnât sleep with Noah that night, nor did you stay at his place. At around 4am, after more drinks and far too many kisses, he called you a cab, but insisted on coming with you, because âa pretty girl shouldnât be going home by herself this late.â
He walked you right up to your door, his hands tucked into his pockets like he was trying not to reach for you again, even though you both knew he wanted to. When you finally got the door open, after fumbling with your keys, you stepped in and turned back to him.
âI had a great time tonight⌠thank you.â
âOf course,â he said softly, âThank you for coming.â
You couldnât help but smile, laughing softly under your breath. Then he leaned back in again, just for one more kiss. This one was soft and slow, his hand gently placed on your waist, but then he pulled back. For a moment, his forehead hovered close to yours, like he was debating whether to stay⌠but then he let out a soft exhale and stepped back.
âGoodnight.â
âGoodnight.â You said back, before watching him walk away.
When he had disappeared down the stairs, you finally closed the door, leaning back against it for a second, your heart still racing.
Holy shit.
âŚ
Sunday felt like a blur. You liked to make the most of your days off, but you barely left your bed. Your phone never left your hand.
You texted Noah the entire day, talking about nothing and everything- his work, your job, music, random questions that came to your head. Talking to him just felt easy, and he never let the conversation die. He even told you the name of his band at last! Bad Omens. And after a quick google search and a look through their spotify, you completely understood why Noah was the way he was.
But now it was Monday again, and thanks to him you were running on very little sleep, and entirely too many thoughts.
You managed to drag yourself out of bed to get ready, and when you finally checked your phone, there was already a message waiting for you.
Noah: Good morning, hope you slept well
Noah: You working today?
Silly question, he knew exactly what shifts you worked.
You: Morning! And yep, another full day đĽ˛
Noah: Life sucks huh
Noah: Send me your bank account details, Iâll make sure thereâs something in there for when you finish your shift. Treat yourself <3
Noah: And donât even think about saying no. You agreed to this the other night.
You chuckled, feeling your cheeks heat up a little as you typed your account number and other details in for him.
You: There :)
Noah: Thanks baby. Now have a good day at work, Iâm in the studio all day but Iâll come see you if I can. But text me on your break, okay?
God, he made your tummy feel fuzzy. He made your head spin.
You: Pet names already? Someoneâs bold
You sent with a smirk on your face.
You: But of course I will :)
âŚ
Fuck, you caught yourself thinking about him the entire way to work, and thatâs when you told yourself to get a grip! Tom opened up this morning, so you pushed through the door, put away your stuff in the back room and tied your apron on as you walked behind the counter, trying to act normal.
But how the fuck can you ever be normal again after Saturday night?
âMorning!â Tom beamed as he stepped back behind the counter, âHow was your date?â
Tom only knew Noah asked you out, you didnât tell him the date already happened? Did you?
âWhat date?â You asked, your brows drawing together as you leaned against the counter.
âSeriously?â Tom scoffed, âThe one you sent me all the voice notes about! Heâs so hot! Heâs such a gentleman! Heâs such a good kisser!â
âOh, I-â
âDid you fuck him?â
âTOM!!â
âHey, Iâm just asking! Itâs been a while since youâve looked this⌠glowy?â
You laughed as you started setting out some more straws and cup holders.
âNo, we didnât have sex. We mightâve made out a few times⌠and dry humped.â
âOn the first date?!â Tom scoffed again, âYou told me he was a gentleman!â
âHe is!â You couldnât help but grin when you talked about him, âNow, enough about my sex life. Itâs opening time.â
Tom smirked, giving you a look as if to say okay, but Iâm not letting this go, as he flipped the sign on the door from CLOSED to OPEN.
âŚ
It was hard to stay distracted when your day was going so slow. You wanted to throw yourself into work, taking orders, making drinks, shouting out names- anything to keep your mind occupied and your hands busyâŚ
But you were still staring at the door, waiting for him to come in. He said he was in the studio all day, but you were hoping heâd still get the chance to come in for a coffee- even if it was just a quick in and out, youâd just love to see him. Tom noticed the way your eyes darted to the door every time it opened, but he didnât say anything this time. No teasing, no comments, he just kept giving you a look, like he was thinking- or collecting evidence.
Despite your day being slow, your lunch break went far too fast. You texted Noah back, let him know how boring your day was going so far⌠but you didnât hear back from him before it was time to get back to work, and you tried not to show how it made you a little disappointed.
However, the moment you stepped back behind the counter, tied your apron and washed your hands⌠the door opened.
Slowly, you turned around, and there he was. Noah stepped inside like he always did, calm, casual and confident- but the moment his eyes found you, his face softened.
And fuck, your face betrayed you immediately. A big wide grin spread before you could stop it, and Tom saw it. He was in the middle of making someoneâs matcha when he glanced sideways at you, noticing the way you tried to keep your composure, the way you cleared your throat as you stepped up to the register, like you were trying to pretend this was just any other customer.
âHi.â You said, a little too bright.
Noahâs lips twitched like he was trying not to smile just as much.
âHey.â He said, his voice low and calm like normal. Like you didnât spend hours of your Saturday night in his lap.
âThe usual?â You asked, and he nodded his head.
âPlease.â
You smiled, tapping it into the till, but you couldnât help but feel so aware of him. How close he was to the counter, the way his rings tapped softly against it, the scent of his cologneâŚ
You turned the card reader around for him, and he reached into his pocket for his wallet.
âSoâŚâ he said as he tapped his card, âDo you have a passport?â
Huh?
â...What?â You couldnât help but laugh at the way he said it so casually.
âDo you have a passport?â He repeated, his eyes meeting yours with a small smile, âPreferably not an expired one.â
You let out a soft chuckle as you took the card reader back.
âUh⌠yeah, I think so. It should have a few years left on it.â
âGood.â
You stared at him, frowning a little.
âWhy are you asking?â
He just shrugged, like it wasnât a big deal.
âJust wondering.â
But you narrowed your eyes on him.
âNoahâŚâ
âHm?â
âIâm not making your coffee until you tell me why youâre asking.â
Tom was doing a very bad job at pretending he wasnât listening in on the two of you while he stacked the takeaway cups. Noah noticed him, he glanced at him for a moment before turning his attention back to you, a smirk tugging at his lips.
âAre you free this weekend?â
Your stomach flipped.
â...I think so?â You said, cautiously. âBut Iâm not agreeing to anything until you tell me whatâs happening.â
He let out a soft exhale like he was trying to decide how much he should say right here right now.
âI think you need a break,â he said, âI want to take you somewhere nice. Somewhere warm if you want, somewhere where you donât have to worry or stress about anything, we can just relax, take a couple days to just⌠be you. Not the barista, not the babysitter. Just you.â
You swallowed hard, your heart beating stupidly fast in your chest. Because thatâd be nice⌠but thatâs just so soon.
âIâŚâ
âYou can say no if you want,â Noah said gently, âI just thought itâd do you good.â
âUhâŚâ you glanced at the small line of customers waiting behind him, âCan I call you when I finish? We could talk about it then?â
âOf course.â Noah smiled, with a little nod. âDoesnât even have to be this weekend, just let me know when you wanna go and Iâll sort it.â
You tried to ignore the way your stomach fluttered as you turned around to make his drinkâŚ
Youâd love a break. A different city, time to breathe, a couple days where you donât feel like youâre in survival mode⌠but saying yes to something like that felt just as terrifying as it did exciting.
You worked on autopilot as you made his coffee, measuring, steaming, pouring⌠things youâve done thousands of times, but your mind was nowhere near it. It was somewhere else.
Somewhere warm, somewhere peaceful. Somewhere that didnât look like your tiny cluttered apartment or this cafe or the same four streets you walked every single day.
You handed the cup over to him, your fingers brushing his for a second as he reached out for it.
âEnjoy.â
âThanks.â He said softly, but neither of you moved straight away.
There was this pause between you, like you were both thinking, you both wanted to say something but neither of you made the first move. The world around you kept going- Tom was calling out names and orders, customers were chatting- but right here at the counter, it was just the two of you.
Until you finally broke the quiet.
âIâll text you later.â You said quietly.
âIâll be waiting.â Noah said with a nod.
Oh your stomach flipped againâŚ
He gave you one last small smile before stepping aside, letting the next customer move forward, but he didnât leave straight away. He lingered off to the side, taking a sip of his coffee, checking his phone, like he always did⌠but this time his attention kept drifting back to you.
You could feel it. He stayed for a couple more minutes, and each time you glanced up, he was already looking. Again, Tom definitely noticed. But again, he didnât say anything. Not while Noah was still there⌠but the second the door closed behind him-
âOh my god.â
You groaned immediately.
âTom-â
âA weekend away?â He whisper-shouted, leaning across the counter, his eyes wide, âA mysterious weekend away?â
You tried to play it cool, wiping down the counter even though it was already clean.
âItâs not-â
âHe asked about your passport.â
âSo?!â
âThat means international, babe!â
You bit back a smile.
âLower your voice.â
âNo,â Tom shook his head, pointing at you, âYou donât get to act chill about this. This is insane!! A hot, rich man that you spent your Saturday night humping wants to fly you somewhere warm for the weekend and youâre just like âhmm Iâll think about it.ââ
You laughed under your breath.
âI didnât say no.â
âBut you didnât say yes either.â
You shrugged, but it wasnât convincing.
âI just⌠want to think about it.â
Tom stared at you for a second, then his expression softened slightly.
ââŚAre you scared?â He asked, quieter this time.
You paused⌠because that was the thing. You werenât scared in the way you expected to be, you werenât scared in the way you would be if you werenât so attracted to Noah, you werenât afraid of something going wrongâŚ
You were thinking what if it goes right? What if it goes too well? What if I get too attached?
âI donât know,â you admitted, glancing down at the counter, âItâs just a lot.â
âYeah,â Tom nodded slowly, âBut youâve also been working yourself to death for months.â
You didnât respond to that, because he wasnât wrong. You both knew it.
âYou deserve something good.â He added, nudging your arm with his. Then you exhaled slowly, nodding your head.
âI know.â
âAnd also,â he continued, his tone shifting back to something more playful, âIf he turns out to be a serial killer, at least heâs a hot one.â
âTom!â
âIâm kidding!! Kinda.â
You shook your head, laughing despite yourself, but your mind was already drifting again.
Back to Noah. Back to the offerâŚ
Somewhere warm⌠somewhere where you donât have to worryâŚ
âŚ
The rest of your shift dragged, just like you knew it would. Every hour felt longer than the last, and by the time you finally untied your apron and stepped outside, the sky was already getting dark.
You glanced down at your phone after you locked up, to see a message from Noah, sent three minutes ago.
Noah: Finished yet?
Your lips curved into a little grin.
You: Yep, just left.
His reply came almost immediately.
Noah: Call me?
Your heart skipped a beat, but you didnât even hesitate. You pressed call and held your phone up to your ear as you started walking.
âHey.â He answered almost immediately, and his voice sounded almost softer over the phone.
âHi.â You smiled, tucking your hair behind your ear as you walked down the street, adjusting your bag on your shoulder.
âHow was the rest of your shift?â
âThe whole day's just been so slow and boring,â you admitted, âBut I kept thinking about⌠what you said.â
There was a small pause on his end.
âYeah?â
âYeah.â You slowed your steps slightly, your voice quieter now. âYouâre really serious about it?â
âCompletely.â He said with no hesitation, âLike I told you on Saturday night, I want to show you what life should be like.â
You swallowed hard.
ââŚWhere would we even go?â
You could hear him chuckle under his breath.
âIâve got a few ideas.â
âThat doesnât answer my-â
âI know. But you trust me, right?â
The question caught you off guard. Youâve only known this guy for⌠a month maybe?
ââŚI think I do.â You said honestly.
There was a small pause on his end, until-
âThen let me prove myself to you, okay? Iâll take care of it.â
You nodded your head, forgetting he couldnât see.
âYou donât have to decide right this second,â he added, softer now, âBut if you say yes⌠I promise youâll have a good time.â
You closed your eyes for a second, letting that settle as you paused.
Youâve been dreaming of a break, a real one, for years. No stress, no shifts, no babysitting for neighbours. No counting coins in your head every time you buy something.
Just living. Enjoying life.
ââŚOkay.â You finally said.
âOkay?â
âYeah,â you said, a little smile creeping onto your lips, he could hear it in your voice, âIâd like to get away for a few days.â
And you could practically hear the grin in his voice.
âGood.â
You shook your head slightly, already feeling the excitement bubbling up under your skin.
âThis is crazy.â
âMaybe,â he said, âBut you need this.â
Yeah, you couldnât argue with that.
ââŚWhat do I need to do?â
âNothing,â he replied easily, âJust tell me if you need anything before we go.â
You hesitated for a second.
ââŚLike what?â
âOh, yâknow. Clothes, fresh hair, new nails, bigger suitcase- whatever you want.â
You laughed softly, shaking your head again.
âYouâre actually serious.â
âAlways.â
You bit your lip, smiling to yourself as you started walking again.
âThen I guess it looks like weâre going away this weekend.â You said, not even bothering to hide your grin anymore.
âIâm already looking forward to it,â Noah said, and you swear you can hear the smile in his voice, âAlso⌠are you walking home?â
â...Yeah.â
âCheck your bank account, baby.â
Again with the names!!
But you did anyway, putting him on speaker before tapping onto your banking app-
Holy shit. That was a lot more money than you had this morningâŚ
You tapped on transactions, and your heart stopped for a second.
Received: $500 from N DAVIS
â...Noah-â
âShh,â he hushed you, âIâm about to hang up, and when I do, you better get yourself a cab. Iâm not having my girl walk around the city in the dark.â
My girl, huh? OkayâŚ
You didnât know what to say to that, your mouth hung open, then he hung up before you even got the chance to say anythingâŚ
Well, you could get used to thisâŚ
âŚ
It was now Thursday, and the thought of the weekend was the only thing getting you through your shifts at work. You woke up early this morning, took a shower, and while you were getting dressed you heard your phone buzz.
Noah: What time do you finish today?
You quickly typed your reply.
You: 7 again đĽ˛
You: Why?
You expected Noah to reply right away, but you stood there half dressed, your phone in your hands, waiting for him⌠and just as you were about to put it back down, he answered.
Noah: Call in sick
You actually scoffed out loud, shaking your head.
You: Iâm literally fine Noah
Noah: Then fake it. Youâve got a headache, the flu, whatever.
You tried to stop the smile that was already tugging at your lips, but you couldnât.
You: You want me to lie to my boss?
Noah: I want to steal you for the weekend a little early
You felt your tummy flutter, and you had to bite your lip. It wasnât a bad idea, you never call in sick, so surely itâd be believableâŚ
You: Youâre such a bad influence
Noah: Good. Live a little
You laughed at that, and you hesitated for just a moment before typingâŚ
You: Fine. But if I get into trouble youâre taking the blame
Noah: I know ;)
You let out a little laugh as you tossed your phone onto your bed. Were you really going to do this?
You caught your reflection in the mirror, there was a smile on your face that you couldnât quite hide even if you tried, you were still half dressed and your hair was still a little damp. You finished getting ready for work anyway, but you couldn't stop thinking about him. He made it seem so easy, just call in sick⌠itâs like his life didnât revolve around schedules and shifts and consequences that way yours always had.
âŚ
Much to Noahâs disappointment, you got to work, and you made it through the morning somehow. Tom was already there when you walked in, mid conversation with a regular, but the second he saw you, his expression changed. His eyes narrowed on you a little, like he could already tell something was up.
âYouâre smilingâŚâ He said immediately as you stepped behind the counter.
âIâm always smiling!â You shot back with an exaggerated grin as you tied your apron around your waist.
âMhm, but thatâs not your normal smile. You look too happy.â He said, âSo what did lover boy say this morning?â
Your stomach flipped at that, but you kept your back to him, focusing very hard on lining up lids.
âNothing important.â
âBullshit.â
You bit back a smile.
âTom-â
âDid he text you good morning?â He cut in, leaning on the counter, âBecause if he didnât then-.â
âHe did.â You said before you could stop yourself.
âAHA!!â
You groaned, turning to face him.
âCan you not make this a big thing?â
âBut it is a big thing,â he said, lowering his voice slightly but still clearly too invested, âYouâve been glowing for four days straight. I deserve all the details.â
You opened your mouth to respond, but your phone buzzed in your apron pocket. You pulled it out, expecting it to be an email or Riley asking if you could swap shifts next week- but it was Noah.
Noah: You done it yet?
Your lips pressed together, trying to suppress the grin that appeared the second you saw his name.
You: Not yet
You: Iâm at work like a responsible adult :)
There was barely even a pause before he replied.
Noah: Boring
Noah: Go tell Tom youâre dying or something
You let out a quiet laugh under your breath.
âWhat?â Tom asked, his eyes narrowing again.
âNothing!â You said quickly, already typing.
You: Whatâs the plan if I do?
Noah: Iâll pick you up
Noah: Weâre going shopping
Noah: Then weâre leaving tonight
Your heart skipped a beat, and you stared at the messages for a moment longer than you meant to. You werenât hesitating, you were just trying to take it all in.
â...Tom?â
âWassup?â
You hesitated, then leaned in slightly across the counter, lowering your voice.
âSo⌠hypothetically, letâs say I felt really unwellâ you started, â...youâd back me up, right?â
His eyes widened instantly.
âOh my god,â he whispered, you could see in his eyes he was delighted. âYouâre doing this for him?!â
âIâm not saying that-â
âYou are,â he cut in, âYouâre calling in sick for a man. Iâve never been more proud!â
âLower your voice!â
âI will not,â he grinned, âSo what does he want from you? A blowjob?â
You tried to stay serious, but it was impossible.
ââŚHe wants to take me away early.â You said quietly.
âOhh the mysterious trip!! Where are you going?â
âI donât know yet.â
âWHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DONâT KNOW-â
âTom,â you hissed, glancing around at the customers, âKeep it down!â
He leaned in closer, eyes wide with disbelief.
âYouâre telling me this man- this mysterious, hot, rich man- wants to kidnap you early for a weekend away, he hasnât even told you where but youâre just⌠going along with it?â
You bit your lip.
ââŚYeah. Guess I am.â
âOh I love this for you!!â
You laughed, shaking your head, but your heart was already racing.
Because suddenly it felt real now, it wasnât just an idea anymore. It wasnât just a joke anymore. This was actually happening.
âŚ
It took you another ten minutes to build up the courage. Ten minutes of pacing behind the counter, pretending to wipe things down, pretending to restock, while your mind ran in circles.
You never did this. You never took a sick day unless you were actually dying. But then again⌠you never had anyone like Noah before.
Finally, you grabbed your phone, stepping into the back room. Tom gave you a thumbs up as you passed him.
âGo on,â he whispered. âFake your little illness.â
You flipped him off, but you were smiling.
The call with your boss felt waay longer than it actually was. You grumbled a few complaints about a headache in a scratchy voice that you exaggerated just enoughâŚ
And then, to your complete surprise, he believed you.
âOkay, Iâll call Emily in to cover for you. Feel better soon. See you Monday.â
You stared at your phone after the call ended, a wide smile slowly spreading across your face.
Holy shit. You actually did it.
You walked back out slowly, and Tom looked at you expectantly.
âWell?â
ââŚIâm off.â
âNo way.â He gasped as if you had just announced an engagement. You nodded your head, still a little stunned.
âYes way.â
âOkay, go!â He waved you off dramatically, âGo be irresponsible! Go live your rich girl fantasy!â
You laughed, grabbing your bag.
âI hate you.â
âNo you donât,â he called after you, âText me when youâre on a private jet!â
You shook your head, but your smile didnât fade the entire way out.
âŚ
You sent Noah a text just after the call ended, and the second you stepped outside, your phone vibrated in your pocket.
Noah: Good girl
Noah: Iâm five minutes away
Your breath caught slightly, your stomach fluttering as you read the first message in his voice over and over and over-
You glanced up and down the street instinctively, like he might already be there. But then you started typing again.
You: Youâve been waiting for me to say that, havenât you
Noah: Maybe ;)
Your heart was beating a little too fast now.
You adjusted your bag on your shoulder, stepping further out onto the pavement⌠and then you saw his car turning the corner. He was right on time.
He pulled up smoothly in front of you, and before you could even process it, he reached over and opened the passenger door for you, like he knew you wouldnât hesitate.
And god, he was right.
You tried to play it cool as you stepped closer, but the second you leaned down and caught sight of him in the driverâs seat- hair a little damp like heâd just showered, one hand resting casually on the wheel, the other resting on his thigh- your stomach flipped again.
âHi.â You said, a little breathless despite yourself as you climbed in.
âHey,â Noah replied, glancing over at you, his eyes softening almost instantly. âThat was quick.â
You shut the door, pulling your seatbelt across your chest.
âIâm very convincing when I want to be.â You said with a little smile.
He huffed a quiet laugh, shifting the car into gear.
âIâm impressed.â
âYou should be,â you teased, glancing over at him, âI never do that.â
âI know.â He said simply, like it mattered to him that youâd done it anyway, like he appreciated it, and for a moment that thought just lingeredâŚ
The car pulled away from the curb, merging back into traffic smoothly, and you found yourself stealing little glances at him again, the way his jaw tightened slightly when he focused on the road, the rings on his fingers catching the light as he gripped the wheel, the way he made even the most simplest things look hot as fuck-
âSo,â you said after a moment, turning to face him slightly in your seat, âWhatâs the plan then?â
âFirst,â he began, glancing over at you for a second, âWe go back to yours.â
âOh?â You raised an eyebrow.
âSo you can get changed,â he added like it was obvious. âYouâre not going out in your work clothes.â
You looked down at yourself, sure the apron was gone, but you were still very much dressed for a shift rather than⌠whatever this was?
âRude.â You teased.
âI prefer honest.â He corrected, a small smirk tugging at his lips. You rolled your eyes, but you were smiling.
âAnd then? What do you mean by going out?â You pressed.
âWeâre going shopping,â he said. âYou pick out whatever you want, anything youâll need for the weekend.â
Your stomach fluttered again.
âAnything?â
âMhm.â
You shook your head slightly, still not entirely used to the way he said things like that so casually.
ââŚOkay, but like, what am I actually shopping for?â You asked, âBecause I feel like thatâs kind of important information. Are we going somewhere hot? Cold? Do I need to dress fancy? Or for the beach?â
He hummed softly, like he was thinking about it.
âWell,â he started, âWeâll probably do a couple of nice dinners, so something for that.â
âOkayâŚâ
âSomething comfortable for walking around,â he continued. âSightseeing, maybe even a bit of shopping while weâre thereâŚâ
Your heart skipped a beat.
âWhile weâre there?â
He ignored that for now, continuing like he hadnât just said something very suspicious.
âMaybe something a little cooler too,â he added. âItâll be warmer there than it is here.â
You stared at him.
ââŚNoah.â
âHm?â
âWhere are we going?â
He glanced at you again, clearly amused by the way you were narrowing your eyes at him.
âYou ever seen the Eiffel Tower before?â
There was a pause- a very quiet, very still moment where your brain was trying to catch up with what he had just said.
â...What?â
He smiled, a proper smile this time, like heâd been waiting for this exact moment.
âYou heard me.â
Your mouth fell open slightly.
ââŚNoah.â
âYeah?â
âWeâre going to Paris?!â You practically gasped it, your hands flying up in disbelief as you turned fully toward him in your seat. He laughed, glancing at you for a moment again before looking back at the road.
âYeah,â he said, like it was no big deal. âWeâre going to Paris.â
âOh my god,â you breathed, leaning back against your seat, your heart racing now for a completely different reason. âOh my god?!â
You covered your mouth with your hand again, laughing under your breath like you couldnât quite believe it.
âYouâre serious?â
âCompletely.â
âThis isnât a joke?â
âNope.â
You shook your head, staring out the window for a second like the city around you suddenly felt too small, too boring.
âParisâŚâ You repeated softly.
âParis.â He confirmed.
A big grin spread across your face, wide and completely uncontrollable, as the reality of it started to sink in.
âIâve always wanted to go there.â
âI know,â he said, glancing at you again, his expression softer now, like he was watching your reaction carefully. âYou told me that night at my place⌠I booked it the next morning, so I was hoping youâd be happy with it.â
You turned back to him, still smiling, something bright and excited bubbling up inside your chest.
âI am.â You nodded your head. âI⌠I donât know how to thank you.â
âGood.â He smirked, âAnd I thought we were clear on the rules. All I want is for you to have a good time, no worries, no stress. All I want in return is your company. I just want to see you smile.â
And you were doing exactly that right now as he turned onto your street. You leaned your head back against the seat, laughing softly to yourself.
âI still canât believe I called in sick for a trip to Paris.â You said, more to yourself than anything, but Noah huffed a quiet laugh.
âSounds like a pretty good reason to me.â
You turned your head slightly, looking at him again, your smile softer now.
ââŚYouâre crazy, you know that?â
He parked up outside your place, turning off the engine before looking over at you properly.
âNo,â he said quietly as he took the keys from the engine, âI just know what I want.â
âAnd whatâs that?â You asked, your voice just a little softer.
He held your gaze for a moment.
âYou,â he said simply. âHappy.â
Fuck. You swallowed, your heart doing that stupid, fluttery thing again as you looked away first, suddenly very aware of how warm your cheeks felt. You reached for the door, your brain scrambling for words.
âIâll- uh, be quick.â You said, glancing back at him for just a second before stepping out of the car.
âTake your time.â He replied easily.
But of course you didnât. The second you got inside your apartment, you moved fast.
Your heart was still racing, your thoughts all over the place- Paris, Paris, Paris- as you headed straight for your room. You stripped your work clothes off before reaching into your wardrobe, pulling out something better, something more you.
You changed quickly, tossing on something simple but flattering, something you always felt good in. You ran a hand through your hair, fixing it just enough, checking yourself in the mirror.
And for a second you paused, because already you felt different. You felt lighter, brighter, like something had already started changingâŚ
ââŚOkay!â You whispered to yourself, grabbing your bag before rushing back out the front door.
Noah was still exactly where you left him, one arm resting lazily on the steering wheel, the other draped near the window.
But the second you appeared again, he looked over- and you caught the way his expression immediately changed.
His eyes moved over you slowly, not even trying to hide it this time, and he subtly licked his bottom lip before he looked back up at your face.
ââŚYeah.â He said quietly, almost to himself. You raised a brow as you approached the car, trying not to smile too much.
âWhat?â
âNothing,â he replied, but there was a small smirk tugging at his lips now. âYou justâŚâ He stopped himself, shaking his head slightly. âGet in.â
You laughed under your breath, climbing back into the passenger seat again.
âŚ
The first shop that Noah took you to was⌠different. You knew it the second you stepped inside.
Everything was perfect. Too perfect, and almost intimidating in the way everything was displayed. It was the kind of place where you felt like you had to stand up straighter just to belong there. You wandered between the racks, fingers brushing over fabrics you almost felt scared to touch properly.
And Noah noticed almost immediately that you looked a little uncomfortable.
âYou donât like it.â He said, not as a question.
You glanced at him, hesitating.
âItâs niceâŚâ You said carefully.
âBut?â He pressed.
You exhaled softly, lowering your voice.
âIt just⌠doesnât feel like me. I donât feel like I belong hereâŚâ
There was no judgment in your tone, just honesty, and Noah didnât even hesitate, he was already turning towards the exit.
âThatâs alright.â He said simply.
You blinked.
âThatâs it?â
âYeah,â he glanced back at you. âIf youâre not comfortable, why would we stay?â
Your chest ached a little at how easy that was for him.
âNo arguing?â
âNope.â
ââŚHuh.â
He smirked slightly, reaching for your hand.
âCome on.â
âŚ
The next place felt completely different.
Still nice, still a little more expensive than what youâd usually go for, but more welcoming, softer and more relaxed. The kind of place where you didnât feel like you were being watched while you browsed.
âOh, I like this already.â You said, your shoulders relaxing as you stepped further inside.
âI thought you might.â Noah replied with a little smile.
And just like that, you started to shop with no hesitation. You moved between racks, picking things out, holding them up, actually considering them instead of immediately putting them back.
But every time you did, Noah was right behind you, watching when your eyes would light up before checking the price tag and quietly collecting everything you put back
At one point, without even thinking, you handed him your small handbag so you could hold a dress up to your body in the mirror to see how short it would look, and he just happily took it. No hesitation, no comment, not even any teasing.
You didnât even realise how ridiculous it looked until you stepped back and saw him properly. Big, tall, tattooed Noah Sebastian with your little bag on his arm.
You stared at him for a second, and you couldnât help but giggle.
âOh my god.â You grinned, forcing yourself to look away.
He glanced at you, confused.
âWhat?â
âThat looks so funny.â You said, laughing again. He looked down at it, then back at you, completely unfazed.
âDoes it?â
âYes!â You grinned. âHere, Iâll take it backâ
âNo,â he said simply, adjusting it slightly on his arm. âIâve got it.â
You shook your head, still smiling.
âYou look ridiculous.â
âMaybe, but Iâm not letting you carry anything.â He said.
There was something about that, again, that made your chest feel warm. Itâs the way he wasnât saying it to be controlling, he wasnât overbearing, he just wanted to take care of things- of you- without making it a big deal.
And to be honest, you could get used to this.
You turned back to the racks, still smiling to yourself.
âOoh, wait!â You said, stopping suddenly as you spotted a top.
You picked it out and held it up against yourself, turning slightly as you looked in the mirror again.
âThis is cute.â
Noah, a step behind you, glanced at it once.
âYeah,â he said. âTake it.â
You hesitated for a second.
âI have things like this already.â
But even as you said it, you were already putting it back.
And just like before, the second your hand left it, his replaced yours. You didnât even need to turn around this time to know.
ââŚNoah.â You sighed.
âWhat?â
You turned to look at him, watching as he added it to the growing collection over his arm.
âI literally just said-â
âI heard you.â
âThen why are you-â
âBecause you liked it.â He said simply, like that was the end of the conversation. And somehow⌠it was. You stared at him for a second longer before letting out a small breath, shaking your head.
âYouâre impossible.â
âMm,â he hummed. âKeep going.â
You turned away again, but you were smiling now.
A few steps later, you found a skirt- short and flowy and light, something you could already picture wearing while walking through warm streets, maybe with one of the tops youâd just picked out.
You held it up, tilting your head.
âThis feels very⌠Paris. What do you think?â
Noah smirked slightly.
âOh yeah, thatâs coming with us.â
You laughed softly, folding it over your arm this time instead of putting it back.
Progress!
Next came another top, this a little more you, then a second skirt, slightly shorter, something that made your confidence spike just holding it.
And then you saw a jacket you liked. You paused, pulling it off the rack, running your hand over the material.
ââŚOkay, this is actually really nice.â
âItâll get cooler in the evenings.â Noah added from behind you, already trying to influence you.
You glanced back at him.
âSo I do need layers?â
âJust in case.â
You nodded slowly, considering it⌠before placing it back.
âItâs probably not necessary.â
You were met with silence for a moment⌠then you heard the faintest rustle behind you.
You closed your eyes for a moment, letting out a sigh.
ââŚYou picked it up, didnât you?â
âYep.â
You turned around, narrowing your eyes at him, but you couldnât stop the smile pulling at your lips.
âYouâre not even subtle about it anymore.â
âWhy would I be?â
You huffed out a quiet laugh, shaking your head again before turning back.
And then you saw another rack of dresses. Your steps slowed slightly as you moved closer, your fingers brushing along the fabric of one, then another.
âThese are gorgeousâŚâ You breathed, pulling one free.
It was everything. You could imagine how it would fit you so perfectly, it was such a nice fabric, the perfect length- you couldnât help but feel excited just imagining wearing it.
You held it up, staring at it for a second longer than anything else youâd picked so far.
âIs this too much?â You asked quietly, even though your voice didnât quite match the way your eyes lingered on it.
Noah stepped a little closer this time.
âTry it.â
You hesitated.
ââŚNoah.â
âJust try it on.â He repeated, softer this time, but there was something in his tone that made your breath catch slightly.
You looked at the dress again, then back at him. And instead of putting it back, you passed it to him to add to the growing pile on his arm.
You picked out another and another, each one somehow more sexy than the last, the kind of dresses you never even let yourself consider before. And every single one ended up in his hands.
By the time you moved on, your little pile had doubled. His arms were full of tops, skirts, dresses, the jacket that you definitely said no toâŚ
But then you ended up in the pants section. You grabbed a pair of simple black trousers, nice enough to dress up or down.
âThese are practical!â You said as if to justify them as you held them up.
âGood,â Noah nodded. âTake them.â You added them to the pile.
Then your eyes caught something else- a nice pair of flare leggings. The fabric was soft and stretchy, you could imagine it hugging in all the right places. You pulled them out, raising a brow slightly as you held them up.
ââŚOkay, these are kind of cute. Maybe for when weâre exploring the cityâŚ?â
Noah didnât answer right away. So you glanced back at him, and noticed he was already looking at you- but not your face. He was looking lower, like he was already picturing your ass in them.
You immediately blushed.
ââŚWhat?â You asked, narrowing your eyes slightly, though there was a smile threatening to break through.
âNothing.â He said, far too casually.
You squinted at him, and a little smirk pulled at his lips now, completely unapologetic.
âI just think you should try them.â
âOh my god-â You rolled your eyes playfully.
âJust saying.â
You shook your head, laughing under your breath as you added them to the pile anyway.
âShut up.â
By the time you finally made your way toward the changing rooms again, your arms were full, Noahâs even more so- and you had never felt so happy.
This wasnât just shopping to you, it meant a lot more than that. This was you letting yourself have nice things. Letting him give them to you, and somewhere along the way you stopped feeling guilty about it.
But just as you approached the changing rooms, you slowed again. Your eyes were being pulled towards the lingerie section. The lace and silk looked entirely too temping, and you hesitated for a moment. Which of course, Noah noticed.
âSomething caught your eye?â He teased, his voice low and close enough now that you could feel it more than hear it.
You glanced back at him, chewing the inside of your cheek.
âI donât know if I should,â you admitted, quieter this time. âFeels a bitâŚâ
âLike youâre thinking too much?â He answered for you.
You exhaled a small laugh. Maybe it wasnât that deep.
ââŚMaybe.â
âGo on.â He said, nodding over to it. But you hesitated again, your fingers tightening around the clothes in your arms.
âBut you said-â
âNo expectations,â he said, nodding once. âI meant that.â
You studied him for a second, trying to read him.
âThen whatâs the point?â You asked, a little more honest than you meant to be. âBuying something like that when youâre not even-â
âWho said it has to be for me?â He smirked.
You froze. Your brain short circuited. He moved a little closer to you, just enough that he could whisper in your ear.
âYou donât pick something like that because someoneâs going to see it,â he continued, his voice a little rougher around the edges. âYou pick it because it makes you feel good.â
Your heart fluttered in your chest, the way he spoke made you feel a little dizzy.
ââŚAnd if someone does see it?â You asked before you could stop yourself.
That earned you a look. There was something almost a little darker in his eyes when he met yours again.
âThen I guess theyâre lucky.â He said slowly, quietly.
You swallowed, suddenly very aware of just how close he was standing, and the way he was looking at you- like he knew exactly what you were thinking.
You swallowed, suddenly very aware of the way he was standing, the way he was looking at you⌠like he already knew exactly what you were thinking. Your eyes drifted back to the display, and you wandered over.
Your hand reached out, your fingers brushing lightly over the straps of a lace bra.
âThis is pretty.â You said.
âYeah,â he said from behind you, voice softer now. âIt would be.â
You ignored that completely as you picked it up, holding it against yourself as you looked in one of the mirrors, your pulse picking up when you saw him watching you.
ââŚToo much?â You asked, your voice just a little quieter than before.
His eyes dragged over it, then you, and you watched him debate his words.
âNo,â he said slowly. âNot even close.â
God, he made your head spin.
You looked back at it again, your hesitation still there, but it felt different now. Less like doubt, and more like anticipation.
âI donât even know if I should be looking at this stuff.â You admitted with a little giggle.
He huffed a quiet laugh, stepping just a little closer.
âYou really think Iâd stop you?â
You glanced up at him again.
ââŚNo.â
âGood.â
There was a pause, but then he added,
âYou never know what might happen while weâre there.â His voice was a little quieter this time, his tone dipping just enough to make your stomach flip all over again.
You didnât say anything to that, you couldnât. Your brain had turned to nothing but mush. Instead, you kept walking, picking out another piece and then another.
And every time you hesitated, Noah didnât rush you or push. He just stood there, holding everything else youâd chosen, watching you with that same little teasing look on his face, but still so patient, like he was enjoying every second of you figuring it out.
When you finally reached the changing rooms, he pushed the curtain aside for you, stepping in just long enough to hang everything up neatly along the rail for you.
âThere you go,â he said, adjusting one of the hangers so it sat straight. âTake your time.â
You nodded, suddenly a little more aware of yourself under his attention.
ââŚYouâre not staying?â You asked, half teasing, half curious.
His eyes met yours again, something amused in them this time.
âI think you can manage getting dressed on your own,â he said lightly. âIâll be right outside.â
And with that, he stepped out, letting the curtain fall shut behind him.
You exhaled, like youâve been holding your breath around the entire store.
You glanced at the clothes hanging in front of you- the dresses, the tops, the skirts and pants⌠and the lingerie tucked slightly off to the side, you couldnât wait to try it on when you got home.
Just thinking about it made you feel faint- but you shook your head and reached for the first dress.
âŚ
âReady?â You called, your voice just slightly raised over the soft music playing in the store.
âWhenever you are.â Noah replied easily from the other side.
You hesitated for half a second⌠then pulled the curtain aside. And there he was, exactly how you pictured him.
Leaning back slightly against the wall opposite your cubicle, legs parted just enough to look effortless, arms crossed over his chest. Your handbag still hung from his arm, looking ridiculously small against him, and yet he carried it like it was the most normal thing in the world.
He slipped his phone back into his pocket the second you stepped out, and he couldnât help but stare.
âOkay...â He said quietly, making your heart race.
âIs that good, or-â
âTurn around.â
Your breath caught slightly, but you did it anyway, smoothing your hands over the fabric as you gave him a small spin. When you looked back at him, he was still watching you, head tilted slightly like he was taking everything in.
âThat oneâs gonna be dangerous.â He said finally.
âDangerous?â You scoffed.
âMhm.â His eyes met yours again, something teasing in them now. âYou wear that to dinner, Iâm not gonna hear a word anyone says.â
You felt heat rush to your cheeks, but you tried to play it off, rolling your eyes slightly as you stepped back.
âYeah, yeah...â
âIâm serious.â
You disappeared behind the curtain again before he could say anything else, your heart racing and your head spinning.
âŚ
The next outfit was different. It was something more casual, maybe something for when the two of you walked around the city. And when you stepped out, you didnât even need to ask his opinion, because you watched the way his face changed, how his arms uncrossed and his posture shifted.
âOh this is cute,â he nodded, âItâs very you.â
You smiled a little at that.
âYeah?â
âYeah,â he said, pushing himself off the wall just slightly. âThatâs the one you wear when weâre walking around all day and you pretend youâre not turning heads.â
You laughed softly.
âI do not-â
âYou do.â He cut in, a small smirk tugging at his lips, âTrust me.â
Your smile lingered as you stepped back inside again.
âŚ
Outfit after outfit, you repeated the same pattern. You stepped out, he gawked, said something that made you blush or lifted your confidence just a little higher
The last item was the dress. The one youâve been more excited to try on than anything else. You slipped it on slowly, grinning giddily at your reflection because you just looked so good, you almost didnât recognise yourself. You had never felt this good in your own skin.
Then you stepped out.
And this time, Noah didnât say anything straight away.
His arms dropped completely from his chest, your handbag slipping slightly down his wrist as his eyes moved over you, taking his time to take you in, making your heart beat so loudly you were sure he could hear it.
ââŚWhat?â You asked, suddenly hyper aware of yourself, worrying that maybe you looked ridiculous. But he exhaled softly through his nose, shaking his head just once.
âThis is the one.â He smiled.
Something in your chest tightened.
âYeah?â
âYeah,â he repeated, quieter this time. Then his eyes lifted back to yours, that same teasing edge returning just slightly. âYou donât even need to ask. Itâs like it was made for you.â
You bit back a smile, and for a second, neither of you moved. You just stood there⌠while he looked at you like that.
âŚ
After trying everything on, and deciding to keep everything, Noah set piece after piece down on the counter to pay- dresses, tops, the jacket you said no to, the leggings that made him stare at your ass, and the delicate lingerie tucked in within it all.
The cashier started scanning⌠and scanning and scanning and scanning.
You shifted slightly on your feet, watching the total climb out of the corner of your eye, your stomach doing a small, nervous flip.
ââŚNoah,â you whispered under your breath, leaning just a little closer to him, âThis is a lot.â
He didnât even look at the screen.
âMm.â
âThatâs not a response!â You whispered, trying not to laugh.
He finally glanced down at you, still completely unfazed.
âI know.â
âThat doesnât bother you?â
âNope.â
You stared at him for a second, trying to figure out if he was serious. But he was.
He was completely serious.
The cashier finally finished, giving him the total, and without hesitation- without even blinking- Noah just pulled out his card.
No second thought, no pause, the payment went through and you felt your tummy flutter again. There was just something about it, not the money- not really- but the way he was so calm and sure about it all. Like taking care of things for you was the simplest thing in the world, and this was just the beginning.
You swallowed as he collected the receipt, thanked the cashier and took all the bags.
âThank you.â You said quietly, your voice softer now as you both headed to the doors.
âDonât,â he said just as quietly. âYou donât need to thank me.â
You didnât argue this time, because you were finally starting to understand what this all meant.
âŚ
A few moments later you were back outside, the chilly evening air hitting your skin as Noah carried all the bags like they weighed nothing. You reached for one instinctively.
âHere, I can-â
âNo.â
Your brows furrowed.
ââŚNo?â
âNo,â he repeated, shifting them slightly in his grip, your handbag still hooked casually over his wrist like before. âIâve got it.â
You laughed softly, falling into step beside him.
âYouâre not even going to let me pretend to help?â
âYou can pretend by walking next to me.â He replied dryly.
You rolled your eyes, but you were smiling.
âSuch a gentleman.â
âI try.â
Your head was still spinning a little as you walked back to the car, and he started to load everything in carefully, bag by bag until it was all tucked neatly inside.
âDo you need a bigger suitcase?â He asked, like it was the most normal question in the world.
You couldnât help but laugh.
âWhat?â
âFor all of that,â he nodded toward the back. âI can get you one.â
You glanced at the car, then back at him, another small laugh escaping you.
âNo, I think Iâm okay,â you said. âItâll fit.â
âYou sure?â
âYes.â You nodded your head, and he studied you for a second, before opening the passenger door for you.
âAlright.â
There was a small pause as you both moved around the car, settling back into your seats. Your heart was still racing a little as you buckled your seatbelt, glancing over at him as he started the engine.
âSoâŚâ you said, âWhat now?â
He looked over at you, that same calm, confident look settling back into place.
âNow,â he said, putting the car into gear, âWe go back to yours.â
âTo pack?â You smiled.
He smirked slightly.
âIâve already packed,â he said, nodding toward the back seat where his suitcase sat, barely noticeable until now. âSo yeah. We get your things, make sure youâve got everything you needâŚâ
ââŚAnd then?â
His eyes met yours for just a second, and something about the way he said it made your heart race again.
Alright guysss this is my first Bad Omens fic and it's centered around none other than our favorite drummer, Folio. It is a Brother's best friend fic. I don't know how long this is going to be.
MDNI: this is a fictional story, none of this is real. Not saying this is how they are in real life, all of it is fictional out of my delulu mind
Please be nice in your feedback as I am a little rusty and this is the first time I am writing a reader/Folio fic. Tell me what you think! I hope this means I am back into writing.
Chapter One
Your brother's laughter pierced the night air, muffled by the window of your temporary bedroom. Your bags lay half unpacked, clothing hanging over the edge. The suitcase represented your mind right now. The flurry of thoughts like angry bees buzzing around. Turmoil was rolling around in your stomach when y/c/e landed on the guy you hadn't seen in a few months.
Your bottom lip sucked between your teeth as you refolded the same pair of leggings, the buttery soft texture moving across your skin as you did. You didn't expect to see him here, but he was. Of course, it was stupid to think that you wouldn't. He was always there, both of them having known each other since your younger years.
Nick, or Folio as everyone called him, invaded every ounce of thought you had. Even when you moved miles away and put distance between the both of you. Even when he was countries away touring with the band. Your brother would send you pictures but your heart would tighten as you saw him. The smile on his face caused it to skip a couple of beats.
The air conditioner kicked on, the woosh of the air and whirring a pleasant sound as you continued to unpack. Your mind is still on the man sitting just a few feet from your bedroom window. Your hands shook as each garment was put into place. It was taking every ounce of willpower to not go to the window and look out. You knew that at some point you were going to see him; that you'd have to face him sometime.
Finally you finished putting away your clothes in the dresser and closet, shoes lined up along the bottom and shirts hanging. There was nothing else for you to do but face the music of your brother and his friends, and him.
You took a deep breath and slid on some flip flops, the shoe making sounds as you made your way out of the room. Your heart was racing, along with your mind in anticipation of seeing him. The hardwood floor made the sounds of the shoes louder, the sound barely registering in your ears as you kept trying to calm your breathing. How could one man affect you so much? Especially one you grew up with, seeing him in every stage of life. From the gangly child to the awkward teen years to now. What changed? You didn't know when or how, but you knew when it started. It was the night after prom, and he picked you up because your date left you. That was the night you saw him in a different light.
He would always be there for you when your bother couldn't. When your car broke down on the side of the road, Nick was the one to come out. When you locked yourself out of the car, who showed up? He did. It was the type of man that he is and always has been. It was the reliability and attention to detail. The one time you had buttoned your blouse in a hurry, who saw it awkwardly buttoned? Nick. Luckily it was before your job interview, and you had time to change it.
Another memory popped in your head, and you couldn't help but smile. The day you moved into your apartment, for college, he was helping you unpack. The box he was carrying must have been heavy because a tearing sound filled the air and everything fell out. Unfortunately, it was the box that was holding your coffee maker. It was one your parents had bought you when you had moved to America with your brother, so it was very sentimental to you. The sound of cracking plastic and shattering glass was all you heard; your mouth open in an O shape, no sound coming out.
"I am so sorry," he spoke, his own eyes wide and panicked, the apology falling profusely from his lips. You didn't say anything and stood there like a deer in headlights. It was as if your brain was malfunctioning and it had forgotten to control any movements or thoughts. The sound of him apologizing over and over again not even registering in your mind as he moved quickly to clean up the shattered remains of the cherished appliance.
The next day he had gone out and came back with a new one. It was a Ninja and offered a cold brew option. He had held the box out to you and went to apologize again. You had cut him off and told him there was no need. That, yes, you were sad about it because of the sentiment behind it, but it was an accident.
The memories played through your mind like a film, and you shook your head, pushing the door open and walking into the cool night air. Little goose-pimples covered your arms from how cool it was out. Your arms wrapping over your chest, hands running up and down your arms; you didn't account for how chilly it would be out. The conversation gained in volume without the pane of glass between them. Noah threw his head back and laughed at something Ruffilo had said. The sound meeting her ears and causing a smile to form on her face.
Noah. He was the one guy that she could tell anything to: her secret keeper. The best of friends a girl could ask for, and he did have some wicked insight on what guys thought. He was there for her when her boyfriend broke up with her. If he wasn't there it was Folio.
"There she is," Your brother, Jolly announced, "nice of you to join us." He had tacked on. You rolled your eyes at him, chuckles coming from the other three men. The heat rose in your cheeks as you made your way to the last empty chair, and of course, it had to be next to Folio.
"Hey," he gave you a cute smile, the smile that made your heart stutter at how devastatingly handsome it was.
"Hi," you whispered, your voice refusing to come out any higher than it did.
"Unpack okay?" He asked, handing over a stick with a marshmallow on the end. He knew your weakness was the sugary goodness of a s'more on an open flame.
Your fingers wrapped around the stick and brushed against his. You sucked in a breath before pulling the stick towards you, "Thank you. I did." The words died on your lips as you turned to hold the spherical treat over the top of the flame. It gave you something to focus on as you were having a hard time talking; it was like your brain was short circuiting.
The marshmallow twirled as you moved the stick around, the conversation around you picking back up as you were in your own little world. You didn't mean to be rude, but you also didn't know what to say. It's like he wiped all vocabulary from you. The sounds of night surrounded you; the cacophony sounds of crickets singing their song. A wave of calm and relaxation washing over you as you leaned back. The marshmallow deemed toasted enough, you made yourself a s'more with the graham crackers and chocolate that Nick held out to you. You gave him a shy smile as you took the first bite. Strings of sticky goodness pulled from the heated confection and some of it resting in the corner of your mouth.
A chuckle sounded from next to you, a pair of eyes watching you, "Do you always make a mess like a child?" He joked, your cheeks flaming as you tried to wipe away the remnants of the white, sticky marshmallow.
"Here let me," he said as he stuck his thumb out, brushing the corner of your lip, efficiently removing the mess that was left behind. "There you go," he whispered and wiped his thumb along his pants to remove it from the digit.
"Thank you," you whispered as well, your eyes still looking into his and both of you made no move to break it.
"So Y/n how is school going?" Noah asked, sitting back and stretching his legs out in front of him. He locked one ankle over the other as he watched the two.
"It's good," you answered, "ready for it to be over honestly."
Noah watched as you stuck the stick into the ground, his eyes bouncing between you and their drummer. You gave him a smile and pulled your knees up to your chest, arms wrapping around them as you leaned forward; your body trying to get a bit closer to the heat as the temperature dropped.
"How much longer do you have?" He asked, his arms crossed over his chest.
"I have this semester and then I have to take one more class," you told him, your chin resting on top of your knees, the bottom of your feet braced against the chair underneath them, keeping your legs in place. "It's been brutal with deadlines, but I honestly don't know what I am going to do after."
"I'm sure you'll find a job," Came from your side and you smiled, thinking to yourself how he was so optimistic about it.
"I sure hope so otherwise it was a waste of money," you joked.
Your brother snorted in laughter as always told you as such. That you could find a job without having to go into debt. He wouldn't listen to reason about how, in your field, it's much better to have a degree than not.
"You know it is," Jolly spoke, but you chose to ignore him and let out a yawn. It had been a long day from driving the six hours to get here after your last class, to unpacking and the internal panicking, it truly took a lot out of you. You were stubborn, though, because you wanted to spend more time with your brother and friends. Your body wasn't having it though. Your eyes began to draw closed and you had decided that maybe it was time that you go to bed.
Slowly you lowered your legs, stretching them out before sliding your flip flops back on. You bid the men goodnight, giving them a slight wave before turning to go back into the house.
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warnings: the beginning of the end... a little violent? (pushing/shoving/hair pulling), mentions of alcohol, LIES, this is a little all over the place, my heart hurts
holy shit i didn't realise just how long it's been since i posted the last chapter? ALMOST TWO WHOLE MONTHS?? i'm just putting off writing the ending because it's gonna hurt (but trust me, everything will work out in the end <3) i still have a load of filler chapters i want to write!! i forgot just how many ideas i was sent but i can't wait to get around to writing them!!đĽš
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You and the girls had all agreed it had been far too long since you all got together to catch up, so thatâs exactly what you were doing tonight. You bought pizza, Maya bought wine, and Jess invited you both over. At first she said Noah could join too, but you didnât want that, you just wanted to be with your best friends. You wanted it to feel like it used to, when the three of you would stay up until the early hours of the morning giggling with each other, gossiping, bringing back up old stories from school. You promised them nothing would change now you and Noah were basically dating.Â
Though it felt like he was here with you anyway, with the amount of texts you were receiving.Â
Noah: I miss you :(
Noah: Hope youâre all having fun babe
Noah: Please donât start drunk texting me though, I can never understand a thing youâre trying to say
You chuckled at his messages, before tossing your phone on to the coffee table carefully and turning back to the girls. Jess and Maya were both sitting on the couch, and you were more than happy to take the beanbag.Â
âSo, how's loverboy?â Jess asked with a grin as she took a sip of her wine.Â
âHeâs being clingy.â You sighed playfully, âI told him to go out with the guys or do something, but heâs at home writing or doing⌠whatever Noah does.âÂ
âI canât believe weâve watched you go from hating this guy to being completely whipped-â
âI am not-âÂ
âAdmit it,â Maya smiled, âYouâre a little whipped.âÂ
You groaned, shaking your head.Â
âCan we please not use the word whipped⌠what happened to saying you just like somebody.âÂ
âOooh so you like him, huh? It seems a lot deeper than that to me.â Jess chuckled. âYou spend all your time with this guy, you work with him, you go home with him- or he goes home with you- you smile like an idiot when you think about him, like youâre doing right now-â
âShut up!â You grinned despite yourself
âCase closed.â Jess smiled triumphantly as she reached for another slice of pizza.
Everything felt normal⌠it all felt good again. You hadnât had a night with your friends like this in too long, youâve been too busy with work at the garage, too stressed with Steve being in the hospital⌠and then of course, there was Noah. Life had just gotten a little busy, but you made a promise that youâd never let anything ever get in the way of you and your best friends.Â
And two bottles of wine later, the topic of conversation came back to Noah.Â
âIâm serious though,â Jess said with a smile. âYou two are literally made for each otherâŚâ
You groaned again, leaning back in the beanbag.
âPlease stop. Can we talk about something else? Howâs Sam?â
Jess ignored you completely, and Maya tilted her head slightly, watching you.
âSo how did this even happen?â She asked. âThe last time I remember we talked about him, you were calling him an idiot.â
âHe is an idiot.â You said immediately.
Jess laughed.
âBut heâs your idiot now.â
You pointed at her again.
âYou are on thin ice tonight, Jessica.â
She raised her hands in surrender.
âOkay, okay. But seriously, remind us⌠because I still remember the first time you told us about him, you were like ohh thereâs this new guy at work, heâs the most annoying person Iâve ever met.â
You rolled your eyes, though you couldnât stop smiling.
âHe was annoying- he still is.â You took another sip of your drink.
âYeah, but⌠in a good way.â Jess giggled.Â
âIn a good way.â You agreed around a mouthful of wine.Â
Maya tilted her head slightly.
âIn a good way?â
You shrugged, trying to act casual even though your cheeks were starting to feel warm.
âYeah, because even though he got under my skin and he knew it, he just⌠stuck around.â
Jess snorted.
âI mean it,â you said, sitting forward a little now. âMost people wouldâve given up.â
Mayaâs brows drew together slightly.
âGiven up on what?â
âOn me.â You said simply.
The room went a little quieter. You hadnât meant to say it like that, but it was true. And you all knew it, and thatâs why Jessâs expression softened.
âHey-â
You shrugged again.
âIâm serious. I wasnât exactly easy on him at the beginning. You guys know that.â
Jess laughed quietly.
âThatâs one way to put it.â
âYou hated him.â Maya added.
âI didnât hate him⌠not really.â
âYou said you did.â
You shook your head.Â
âWhatever happened in the beginning doesnât matter now, because he proved himself.â You said after a moment, your voice softer now. âAt first, I thought he was just this fuckboy. He was always talking about girls heâd slept with and what he did the night before- he even came into work one morning covered in hickies. But⌠I dunno. I guess I just warmed up to him in the end, because I saw through the fuckboy act⌠and I realised we were more alike than either of us thought...â
Maya watched you carefully.
âAnd thatâs when you fell for him?â
You shook your head.
âNo.â
âSo when did it happen?â Jess asked curiously.Â
You thought about it for a second, and images flickered through your mind.
The day it rained when you were walking home from work and Noah insisted on driving you back, and he didnât give up until you got in the car. When he asked for Mayaâs number to make you jealous, but got yours in the end anyway. When your car broke down and he left a party to come and help you, to make sure you were safe. The time he stuck up for you when the rude customer came in, âyou think Iâd let anyone talk to you like that? Not a chance.â The night Steve locked you both in the garage overnight. When he picked you up from the bar when you were drunk and wanted to go home without ruining your friends' night. The business trip, the hotel room, losing your virginity to him. Samâs halloween party- spending Noahâs birthday with him, buying him a cake, making him feel special⌠the way he held you when you cried outside the hospital. The way he told you he loved you.Â
Your lips curved into a small smile.
âI donât think there was one particular moment. He just slowly became my favourite person.â
Jess clutched her chest.
âOh thatâs so sweetâŚâ She pouted.Â
Maya swirled the wine- her fourth or fifth glass- slowly, and didnât even look up when she spoke.Â
âAnd he treats you well?â She asked.
You looked up immediately.
âYeah.â There was no hesitation. âReally well. Better than I even treat myself a lot of the time.âÂ
Jess nodded approvingly.
âI always liked him, honestly. Even when he was fucking around with other girls in the beginning, I knew he would stop it all if you told him to.âÂ
You blinked at her.
âYou did?â
âYeah,â she shrugged. âFrom the stories you told, it sounds a lot like he fell for you long before you even considered liking him.â
âYou mean the ones where I complained about him constantly?â
âYes!â She laughed. âAnd I realised as time went by that you were falling for him too...â
You snorted, about to shoot something back when your phone buzzed again, and Jess grabbed it before you could even move.Â
âHA!â
âJess!â
She held the phone out of your reach, squinting at the screen.
âOh my god.â
âWhat?!â
She read it out loud.
âYouâre just gonna ignore me babe?- and there's another! Make sure you drink water after each glass of wine, donât want you feeling like shit tomorrow. Aww! Heâs babysitting you!â
âHe is not.â You hissed.Â
Jess tossed the phone back to you.
âText him back.â
You glanced at the screen, and started typing.Â
You: Iâm fine, I can handle my drinkÂ
Noah: Sure, and thatâs why I keep puke bags in my car huh?
You laughed under your breath, and set your phone back down on the table. Then Maya leaned back into the couch cushions again, watching you.
âSoâŚâ She said slowly, her cheeks pink from the wine.Â
You looked up.
âYeah?â
âWhen did you realise you were actually⌠in love with him?â
The question made your stomach flip, and Jessâs eyes widened.
âOh shit. Good question.â
You hesitated for a second, then let out a small breath.
âWell, we actually said it to each other⌠just a few weeks ago.â
Jess leaned forward eagerly.
âHuh? What happened?â
You stared down at your wine glass, smiling softly.
âWe were at the hospital visiting Steve.â
Jessâs expression softened immediately.
âAnd I just⌠got overwhelmed.â You rubbed your thumb along the side of the glass. âI started crying and Noah was just so good with me⌠thatâs when I really realised I loved him, and it⌠just slipped out.â
Jess gasped.
âYou said it first?!â
âYeah.â You nodded slowly, a little shy now under the attention.Â
Maya sat up a little straighter now.
âAnd he said it back?â She asked.
You glanced down at your glass for a second before looking back up, not even trying to stop the smile from spreading across your face.Â
âYeah, he did.â
Jess couldnât help but let out a delighted squeal, kicking her feet like a teenager.Â
âOh my god, I love this! I love you two!!â
You groaned as you covered your face for a second while she laughed. But Maya didnât laugh.Â
Because she felt her heart sink.Â
âOh⌠really?â She asked slowly, quietly.
You frowned slightly at her tone.Â
ââŚYeah?â
She leaned back against the couch, her expression unreadable. But in her chest, her heart was racing, adrenaline raced through her veins, and the feelings she had tried so so hard to push down were threatening to rise again. Despite her best efforts to hold it back, she felt it all at once. Guilt, anger, jealousy, sadness, confusion.Â
She didnât think. She didnât stop herself. The words came out before she could stop them.Â
âWell I guess his plan worked then.â
Your stomach dropped.
âHis what?â
Maya shrugged casually. She told Noah that she wouldnât tell you that they slept together. So instead, she decided sheâd make something up, something even more painful, something she knew youâd never forgive him for. Something youâd believe.
âYou know. His plan all along was just to get in your pants.â
Jessâs blood suddenly ran cold as she turned her head to face her.Â
âMaya, what the hell are you talking about?â
âYou know it too, Jess. He told me to my face, he said he only wanted to fuck you because nobody else had. He didnât want anything more, but you just got too attached, then your uncle got sick and he didnât want to make himself look like an asshole. So he stayed. Not because he wanted to, but because he felt like he had to.â Â
You suddenly felt sick to your stomach.
âŚÂ
Not too far away, Noah was at home. He was sitting in his bedroom, cross legged on his bed with his guitar in his lap. He was humming away to himself as he played, coming up with some ideas for new songs.Â
Heâd been texting you all night- he knew he shouldnât have, since you were spending the night with your best friends, but he was missing you already. God, youâve completely taken over his brain.
He wasnât quite sure when exactly he fell in love with you- it couldâve been the first time you ever called him annoying, or a bastard- but all he knew that he was in so deep now. Heâs never felt this way really about anybody before. But you were just different.Â
He liked that you put up a fight in the beginning, he was so used to girls swooning over him, wanting to get him in their beds, theyâd blush and giggle when heâd compliment them- but you would roll your eyes at him and tell him to fuck off. He still wondered to himself if you were playing hard to get all along, or if you genuinely didnât like him in the beginning. Either way, his bed now smells like you, and he keeps a little basket of your things on his dresser for when you sleep over.Â
He was just hoping youâd be okay with the move.Â
He was looking at moving to LA for the band, and he found a nice apartment not too far from where his friends live. He was hesitant about it at first, since heâd gotten used to life here again. Originally, his plan was to come back to his hometown for a while, get a boring job and start saving up so he could move out there. He never in a million years thought he wouldâve fallen in love here.Â
So he was going to ask you to come with him.Â
It wasn't definite yet, though. He wasnât sure if he would get the place, but heâs already submitted the application, so he was waiting to hear back. He remembered the night of Samâs halloween party, the way you told him you wanted to get out of this place one day and make a name for yourself, so he was going to ask you to come with him and offer you that opportunity. He was just afraid that with your uncle being sick, and having to run the shop essentially by yourself, that youâd say no- which was fine. He was perfectly happy doing a long distance relationship, but he just hated the idea of you being alone after a bad day, having nobody to cuddle with when you were sick, having nobody to hold you at night.Â
God, why did he have to fall for you?
He found himself distracted again, staring down at the guitar in his lap as he thought about it all.Â
If you moved out there with him, you could work for the band. They needed someone to help out with merch, or you could even help Matt-
But what if you wanted to do your own thing, separate from him? You were already so independent, who said youâd even want to work for the band?
Noah sighed, putting his guitar down and checking his phone again⌠but you hadnât replied. He hoped you were having a fun night with your friends, talking about whatever girls talk about when theyâre togetherâŚ
âŚ
âYouâre lying to me.â You said, shaking your head, âNoahâs not like that! Why would he even talk to you about that...?âÂ
âYou wanna bet on that?â Maya scoffed.Â
âLook, can we not start this tonight?â Jess groaned, âI thought we were going to-â
âSorry Jess, but it's not adding up. If sheâs accusing my boyfriend of-â
âOh so heâs your boyfriend now? I thought you two didnât want to label it? What does that tell you about him?â Maya snapped back, a stupid smirk on her face that you wanted to-
âI was the one who didnât want to put a label on it!âÂ
âReally?â She crossed her arms over her chest, âAnd whyâs that? Because youâre scared of this very thing? That heâll break your heart when things start to get too real, because he didnât give a shit from the beginning?â
You tried to tell yourself she was lying. Oh how you tried to tell yourself it wasnât true⌠but that was the reason.Â
âAnd why are you only telling me all of this now?â You asked, already sounding a little defeated.Â
âBecause I never thought youâd actually be so stupid as to fall for him!â She laughed, taking another sip of wine, âGuys like Noah donât do relationships, they just to fuck and move on to the next when theyâve gotten what they wanted. Which is what Noah wouldâve done, if you didnât get too attached. I mean câmon, you were playing hard to get in the beginning, he just wanted to know he could fuck you. You seriously think he actually loves you?âÂ
Oh, that was it. That touched something deep inside you, just like she knew it would, and you snapped.Â
The glass in your hand hit the table a little harder than you meant for it to, the wine spilling over the rim as you rose to your feet.Â
âSay that again.â Your voice shook with nothing but anger, and Jess quickly raised her hands in the air.Â
âHey, hey- letâs just calm down-â
But Maya was completely unfazed, she just leaned back, that smug look still sitting on her face like she wanted this reaction from you.Â
âI said,â she repeated slowly, âYou seriously think he loves-â
Smack.Â
The sound echoed through the room before she could even finish what she was saying. You slapped her over the face so hard that her head turned to the side, and all that followed for a second was silence.Â
Until she opened her mouth to say something again- but you didnât let her. She barely had time to react before you grabbed her by the front of her top, and yanked her forwards, dragging her up to her feet.Â
âWhat are you-â
âDonât you fucking talk about him like that!â You hissed now that you were face to face. Your chest was heaving, but she still looked too unfazed. God you wanted to wipe that look off her face.
And as if she couldn't make it any worse, she just laughed...Â
âYouâre pathetic.â She said, âYou really think he-â
You didnât let her finish. Instead, without realising you ever had it in you, your fist flew into her face, the sound of it echoing through the room as she stumbled back from the force of it. Jess gasped, loud and panicked, but afraid to get involved.Â
âOh my god-â
Maya staggered, her hand flying up to her cheek, her eyes wide now- no longer smug or calm. But worse... angry.
She shoved you back hard, but it didnât stop you, because you grabbed a fistful of her hair and yanked hard. Pain shot through her scalp as her hands flew up to grab at your wrist, but you pulled again.Â
âYouâre lying!â You cried, âYou donât even know him!âÂ
âI know enough!â She snapped back, her voice sharp as he tried to pry you off of her, âMore than you do apparently-â
âShut up!â You shouted, pulling again, your grip tightening without even thinking.Â
âGet the fuck off me!â She yelled, and this time she grabbed your hair back.Â
You let out a pained groan, but you didnât stop. The two of you just stood there for a second, locked like that- both angry, gripping each other, too far gone to stop. Under any other circumstance it may have looked hilarious, but right now you were just furious.Â
âStop it!â Jess cried, rushing forwards, but neither of you listened.Â
âYou really think youâre special?â Maya hiss through her teeth, tugging your hair again, âYou think youâre the one he suddenly decided to change for?â
âYes!â You shouted, your voice shaky, tears beginning to spill from your eyes, âI do!âÂ
âThen youâre a fucking idiot!âÂ
You couldnât help but snap again, never have you ever been a violent person, but you shoved her as hard as you could. Her grip on you slipped as she lost her balance, stumbling backwards before going down, hitting the floor with a heavy thud beside the coffee table.Â
âMaya!â Jess gasped, her hands shaking as she held them over her mouth.Â
But you werenât listening. Your breathing was completely out of control, your chest heaving, your hands shaking too as you lowered them to your sides. Your head hurt, your heart was pounding so hard it made you feel sick, but Maya still wasnât backing down. She pushed herself up slightly, one hand braced on the floor, the other coming up to her shoulder where you shoved her- and she just glared at you furiously, like she meant every word she said.Â
And a part of you was afraid, because you actually believed her.Â
âI need to talk to him.â You said quietly, wiping your tears away from your face as you reached for your phone from the coffee table.Â
â...What?â Jess asked, looking between the two of you.Â
âIâm not listening to this from her.â You said, your eyes locked on Maya as you spoke to Jess, âIf thereâs anything to hear⌠he can say it to my face.âÂ
Maya let out a short, humourless laugh as she sat up fully.Â
âYeah,â she scoffed, âGo on then.âÂ
Jess stopped in front of you, her hands hovering like she wasnât sure whether to touch you or not.Â
âHey⌠donât do anything stupid, okay?â She said softly, âYouâve been drinking, youâre upset- just wait until tomorrow when youâve got a clear head-â
âIâm not waiting.â You said, your voice interupting hers. You grabbed your coat with trembling hands, your whole body still rushing with adrenaline, your head spinning from everything sheâd just said.Â
âI need to hear it from him.âÂ
Jessâs expression softened, worry written all over her face.Â
âYou shouldnât go alone.âÂ
âIâll be fine.â But your voice didnât sound fine, not even a little.Â
You shoved your arms into your coat and grabbed your bag before heading straight for the door.Â
âText me when you get there!â Jess called after you, but you didnât answer her.Â
You just opened the door, felt the cold night air hit you like a shock, and stepped out into the night.Â
Your heart was racing, your head was still full of all Maya's words, your hands were still shaking, but none of that mattered. You were already walking fast, fueled by anger and hurt, by the need to hear the truth from him.Â
Back inside, Jess was cursing at Maya as she dragged her up from the floor.Â
âWhat the hell was that about?â She asked, her voice sharp as she helped Maya onto her feet.Â
She just shrugged, clearly drunk.Â
âShe needed to hear it.âÂ
Jessâs eyebrows raised in disbelief.Â
âAre you serious right now? None of what you said was true in the slightest!âÂ
âŚ
Noah was still sitting on his bed, still checking his phone every few minutes to see if you had replied, but you hadnât. So he picked his guitar back up again, and played purely from muscle memory, since his mind was elsewhere.Â
But then all of a sudden, the sound of the door practically being bashed down made him flinch.Â
BANG BANG BANG
âWhat the fuck?â
Noah frowned as he sat the guitar back down, and stood up.Â
BANG BANG BANG BANG
âAlright, alright!â He called out as he rushed down the stairs.Â
He had no idea who it could be. It was late, his friends had keys, and you were at Jessâs place. He was almost hesitant to open the door, since something about it didnât feel right. He swallowed hard, his stomach turning as he reached for the door handle-
And there you were- red eyed, messy hair, tears streaming down your face, your chest rising and falling far quicker than normal.Â
His heart dropped.Â
âBaby-â He barely got the word out, as you shoved past himÂ
âDonât you fucking call me that!âÂ
He spun around, shutting the door carefully.Â
âWhat happened?â He asked, stepping towards you slowly, his voice softening, âWhatâs wrong?â
You shook your head, wiping frustratedly at your face, your hands still shaking.Â
âDonât-â Your voice broke, and you had to swallow before trying again, âDonât act like you donât know.â
âI dont,â he started, frowning, âWhat are you talking about?â
You let out a shaky laugh, stepping back from him like you couldnât stand to be too close.Â
âMaya.â You said, and her name tasted bitter in your mouth. You were about to continue, but you saw the way his expression changed, he looked like he saw a ghost.Â
And that was the moment you knew.Â
â...What about Maya?â Noah asked carefully.
You took a deep breath before meeting his eyes again.Â
âIs it true?â You asked, your voice small. âWhat she told me about you?â
Fuck.Â
His heart dropped. Maya promised not to say anything, they both agreed it was best you never found out that they used to hook up- since thatâs what he thought you were talking about.Â
âIt is, isnât it?â Your eyes were wide and teary, searching his face like you were begging him to say no.Â
But he didnât. He just froze⌠and for a second, he thought about lying.Â
But he couldnât do that to you, not when you looked like that, not when he didnât know just what detail Maya wouldâve gone into. So he braced himself, exhaling slowly.Â
â...Iâm so sorry.â He said quietly, âI never meant for it to happen the way it did.âÂ
Oh.
You felt your heart physically shatter into pieces. Your chest hurting in a way it had never done before, you felt sick to your stomach.Â
âI seeâŚâ You said, your voice just above a whisper.Â
You never meant anything to him? This was an act, this entire time, because he felt sorry for you. All he wanted was to get in your pants, but you made it into something else entirely.Â
âBaby, Iâm so sorry,â he said again, his voice sounding almost desperate, âIf I could go back and do things differently, I would. Itâs just⌠one thing led to another, I tried not to let it become what it did, but⌠Iâm sorry.âÂ
All you could do was stare at him in silence, trying to wrap your head around it allâŚÂ
âSay something,â he whispered, reaching for you, âPlease-â
âDonât touch me!â You stepped back, the words landing hard, making him freeze.Â
You had to look away, the sight of him made you feel sick.Â
âIâm sorry, Noah.â You said, and his brows drew together, âIâm sorry I ever trusted you. Iâm sorry I read it all wrong, Iâm sorry I got too close. I knew deep down you could never ever change, but I gave you a chance anyway. So I guess I just hurt myself, huh?â You sighed, stepping towards the door, âI shouldâve fucking knew from the beggining that you were nothing more than a-â
âHey, donât leave. We can fix this, okay? Can we just talk about it, so you can hear both sides?â
You shook your head.Â
Deep down, you felt more disappointed than angry.
Disappointed at yourself, because youâve never been this stupid before. Youâve always guarded your heart, youâve never put yourself in the position to get hurt⌠but Noah just seemed different. Guess the saying was right all along, all men are the same. And they never change.Â
âNo. Thereâs nothing to talk about, Noah. Weâre done.â