SPACE DAD

“Oh honey,” Adam whispers, raising a hand to gently cradle Shiro’s jaw. As he speaks, he rubs small circles with his thumb. “You know if I had it my way, you’d never have to cover up your horns. But to humans, you’re not supposed to exist. When humans discover something new they get scared and they lash out. You’d get hurt. People might even try to kill you.”

Adam raises his other hand, using both his hands to pull Shiro down and rest his forehead against his. “Most people, when they see your horns, they’ll freak out. Never give you a chance to show them just how kind and incredible you are. In public, you need to hide them. For your own safety.”  

Rocking up onto his tiptoes, he kisses Shiro’s forehead. “I know it’s hard, but I don’t know how else to protect you. Be careful, okay? And as soon as you’re home you can show your horns all you want.”

shiro sighs softly as adam speaks. he knows he’s right, and he knows that this is just to protect him from the possibility that he gets hurt just because of his horns. he goes easily as he’s pulled down and he hums when their foreheads meet. “yeah, i know,” he murmurs while adam presses a kiss to his forehead, giving him a small smile as he moves back a little bit. 

Lance glances over at the space heater, grinning at the thought of coming back in from the cold to nice, toasty slippers. “Dude, you’re a genius.” It sounds like heaven; especially since Lance knows he’ll be tired of the cold after about ten minutes, snow or no snow. He abandons his slippers in favor of his winter boots; less comfortable, a little too tight with his thick wool socks, but probably better suited for the snow.

“You’re into taking pictures?” Lance asks, as he laces up the boots. It’s a bit of a surprise; despite being fit, Shiro didn’t seem to have a vain bone in his body. “I never really pegged you as an Instagram kind of guy.”

“i tend to stick to taking pictures of scenery and stuff that i think looks neat as opposed to pictures of myself, but yeah.” shiro replies with a nod, moving to pull on his own boots and getting them done up. he chuckles a little. “keith convinced me to get one but i barely use it. i think the last post i made there was...god, quite a few months ago.” 

shiro adjusts a little, moving his tablet so he could still read the article he was reading while also moving one hand so he could gently scratch at matt’s scalp as he laid his head in shiro’s lap. “you’ll get it,” he starts, moving his gaze from the tablet for a moment. “maybe you just need to take a break for a minute or two, talk over it a little and maybe you’ll work through whatever’s got you stuck.” 

he lets the other ruffle up and fix his hair to help him try and hide his horns. he leans into the kiss to his forehead and nods once he’s told that they’re still showing. “i’ll have to buy one later today.” he murmurs as he carefully gets his hood up and effectively hides his horns. 

“defenders of the galaxy, huh? has a nice ring to it.” 

“I don’t blame you for wanting to forget,” Matt confesses. “The whole thing was especially hard on you, wasn’t it? The Garrison blamed you when in reality you’re the reason any of us are still alive.”

With a small sigh, he leans back against the nearest counter. “My sister has defintely earned the title of hero. As for me…” The corners of his lips curl into a smile, “Whether I’m crazy or smart depends on who you ask.”

At the mention of coco, he gets himself a cup. “Ahh, so this is peppermint hot coco.” With a small chuckle, he adds, “after all we’ve been through, this sort of thing should be easy. It’s hard for me though because I’m afraid I’ll screw it up. Afraid I’ll hurt you on accident. You deserve to be happy. I want you to be happy.”

shiro nods at matts words. it was pretty hard on him, especially knowing how much the garrison had blamed him at first. he snorts at matt’s next words, shaking his head. “nothing wrong with being a little bit of both.” the man says, swinging his legs slightly as he sits. 

“My Dad said he would love to forget Kerberos. And that he’s definitely never going back there. And he’d rather not any of us go back. We thought we knew Kerberos enough, you know? Thought it was safe. But it’s space. Anything could happen. And I guess that is the logic my Dad is coming from. Anything could happen. There’s more than just the Galra out there. But we’re not necessarily safe here, either. Anything could still happen. I suppose he’s just trying to protect me. To help me. Although I could have lived without the ‘you’re lucky I don’t ground you for just having that dumb idea’ from my mom and the ‘you really want to go the place that gives you nightmares?’ from my sister.” He is more than happy to shift the topic to Pidge.

“She’s a genius for sure. I’m glad I’m on her good side,” he manages to chuckle. As for Shiro’s answer to his question… “It gave us both a shove, didn’t it? A shove, I think, in the right direction. I don’t know your side of things but I..” a red hue returns to his cheeks. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for a while now.” 

“i mean...personally, i would also love to forget kerberos. but your idea isn’t dumb. sometimes exposure can help and maybe...maybe it can help you work through your emotions and thoughts and...i think it could help you. it might be tough but it could work.” he says, noting the shift in conversation and going with it as he wanted matt to feel comfortable. 

“absolutely. she save our skin so many times while we were in space. you and her share that genius trait though. you’re both so smart,” shiro says, moving to hop up on an empty space on the counter, sipping at his drink. “man...this cocoa is so good. have you tried it?” he says suddenly. 

“Yeah I know,” Matt sighs, running a weary hand through his hair. “I’m just having a hard time with it. I know I need to talk about it sometime. I can’t keep it shoved down forever. I would say it would be a better conversation for a therapist but the last time I tried to talk about it all in detail my therapist got upset then I got upset and then we had to call it a quits early.”

He shoves another cookie in his mouth. “Hunk is a blessing.” He’s tempted to drop the topic but he knows he can’t drop it so suddenly. “I know all of you are willing to listen but you’ve all been through your own stuff. Especially since you were often considered the universe’s only savior. I don’t wanna dump more stuff on you. Which is weird considering I let Pidge talk to me about stuff all the time and I don’t consider it dumping or anything but then again… It’s easier to listen than it is to speak.” He takes a deep breath before continuing. 

“And honestly, I don’t know if there will ever be a right time to talk about it. Or a right person. It probably doesn’t help I got into a fight with my parents recently. I figured if I couldn’t talk it out I’d try something else but they were not fond of the idea…”

He eats yet another cookie. Nervous, much? “I was thinking of going back to Kerberos. Finishing that mission. Convince myself that no one is going to be capturing me soon. What happened on Kerberos isn’t the only thing I struggle with. But it would be a start.”

He takes a deep breath as he taps his fingers on the counter beside him. “So that’s what I’ve been thinking. That and trying to figure out how Pidge manages to cheat at every board game. And…” he pauses, hesitant. “And the mistletoe. Did you kiss me just because of a plant? Or do you…” his voice trails off as he suddenly favors staring at the floor instead of looking at Shiro.

“it absolutely is easier to listen than it is to talk. i know that all too well. but...talking is good. and it can help you process the things that you’re feeling.” shiro murmurs. “besides, none of us would ever see it as you dumping things on us. we’re all here to help each other.” he adds, tapping his fingers against the mug gently and humming softly as he listens to matt continue on. 

he pauses as he hears matts idea, feeling a moment of cold fear at the mention of kerberos. “i--if that’s what you think would help you, it’s...it’s a start.” he says. the idea doesn’t seem terrible, but personally shiro would be happy with never going back to kerberos. 

“Amen to that,” Matt agrees, unceremoniously shoving the rest of the cookie in his mouth. He regrets the choice instantly, having to cough to help it go down. “It feels weird and the hard part is that it shouldn’t feel weird. This sort of pace to life is what I grew up with. It shouldn’t feel so new. But it does. Making it even harder is that I haven’t stayed on a planet this long in forever. I’m used to moving more - literally.” He emits a heavy sigh.

“Honestly the hardest part of this all is my parents. I mean dad likely can guess a bit what my time in space has been like but mom… How could I ever tell her? She’d blame herself. Dad probably blames himself. You and Pidge might even too… But that’s exactly why you’re better off not knowing everything. I did what I had to. I endured what I had to. And no one, nothing can change my mind.” Realizing how dark and serious the conversation has gotten he hastily adds, “those cookies are really good. Hunk must have made them.”

shiro is quiet while matt talks, letting him get some of it out. he knows that they all went through a lot while in space and he knows it’s not good to keep it all bottled up. he nods along as matt explains himself, finishing off his hot cocoa as he listens. “hey, you don’t have to explain anything you don’t want to. you did what you had to do to survive.” shiro replies, grabbing up another cookie and taking a bite. 

“If it weren’t the years spent living off food good, I’d tease you for hiding by the food,” Matt chuckles, following Shiro into the kitchen. “I could never see food goo again and it would still be too soon.”

He picks up a cookie, and passes it back and forth between his hands, thinking. “I’m glad we’re all finally able to relax but it feels weird. I keep feeling like I should be expecting something.” He bites off the head of his gingerbread cookie. “Sometimes I feel like relaxing makes me more restless than it does relaxed.”

“oh trust me, i’d be hiding by the food even if i’d never been introduced to food goo.” shiro murmurs. "but i’ll agree with you there. i’m just glad we don’t have to touch the stuff now.” he picks his mug back up, sipping at the drink and listening to matt speak. he nods along, understanding how matt’s feeling.