A Descent Into Madness: Fallout 76

Spot a Token on the ground, pick it up, and all day long you will have a Token.

Three stuffed bears sit in a circle. I wonder what their meeting is about. That thought then makes me wonder if this lands madness is catching ...

While taking a leisurely afternoon stroll to breathe in the sulphuric stench of the the Toxic Valley, I met a Mister Handy in distress. What was I to do but rush to the metal manservants aid? Upon enquiring as to the nature of his malady, he proceeded to threaten me with bodily harm unless I gave him my material possessions! Unfortunately for this would-be "Mr Bandit", he was, in fact, a Mister Handy, and therefore easily destroyed by means of the careless application of a shifting spanner to his chasis. I hit him on the head with a wrench. He broke. As I scavenged him for parts, I wondered. Was his behaviour programmed by some bored (or perhaps sadistic) fellow wastelander? Was it a malfunction bought on by years of neglect? Or was he simply just a bad robot? Sadly, I will never know, as parts of his head are now welded onto my roof.

I ran into a strangely friendly Super Mutant. He talked a lot, mostly about the topic of trade, and/or his ... pet? ... cow. To whom he refered to interchangably as "moo-moo" or "chaa-lee". I am still trying to establish the exact nature of their relationship. The cow may, in fact, be in charge.

If a deathclaw and a sheepsquatch are fighting in the forest, and there's no-one there to see it, who wins the fight? Apparently, the sheepsquatch. And by "no-one there to see it", I meant "me". And now it's turning. Oh, gosh darn it ...

I entered what I thought was an abandoned vault. Instead of the gloomy, dust filled interior ripe for ... "unauthorised resource redistribution" ... I expected to find, I found it to be clean, well lit and ... occupied. The occupants were all in their underwear, and punching each other in the face. Somewhere within, I heard instruments being played in a simple repetitive tune. I backed out slowly, and made a note on my map to avoid Vault 51 in the future.

A lighthouse. Why ... why is there a lighthouse here?

I found a pumpkin sitting on a bench. It seemed as fresh as the day it was picked ... but had clearly been sitting on that bench for some time. Maybe since before the bombs fell. I put it in my backpack, thinking I might make a pie later. But when I pulled it out not an hour later, it had spoiled. What about being in my backpack for such a brief time had made such a profound effect on the health of this squash? Is there a pocket of accelerated time localised solely in my backpack? This strange land continues to confound and perplex.

I found a recipe for 'Radstag Stew'. It wasn't very specific on the *size* of quantities, it just said "Boiled Water 2", "Radstag Meat 2", "Spices 1", "Tato 2", "Wood 1". That last bit gave me pause. Wood? Really? Ah well, they wouldn't have written it if it wasn't supposed to go in, right? Right? I settled on using a cup for measurements. I reluctantly added 1 cup of wood shavings at the end. It wasn't bad, actually. But you could really taste the wood ...

Honestly, I feel like someone could have found some way to warn me that there are GIANT MUTATED FRIKITTY FRAKING BATS!!!!!

I got bitten by a huge rat yesterday. It didn't look healthy. Now I don't feel so good. I fear I may have contracted bone worms.

I was at the Whitespring Train Station, selling some junk to the robot there, when an air raid alarm began to sound. And then an automated nuclear warning. Now, I'd already lived through this once back when the bombs first dropped, and lemme tell you, it was brown trouser time for lil ol' me. I ran outside, looking for anything sturdier than a porta potty to hide in. As I emerged from the station house, I pulled up short. A large group of 76 dwellers bedecked in power armor and brandishing a breathtaking array of weaponry, were just standing there, watching the sky, in that eerie silence of theirs. They were clearly waiting for something. I checked the automated countdown. I had only seconds. Too late to do anything meaningful. I hunched my shoulders (as if that would help) and waited for the end. The noise was immense, the backwash of dust and debris painful. But somehow, neither myslef nor the watchers were harmed. And then I watched in awe as these former vault dwelling demi-gods moved as one, and charged into the freshly irradiated zone. I did not know their purpose, and dared not follow them. There are some things man and ghoul are simply not meant to understand. I feel this is one of them.