달빛을 몸에 받다

        it still felt like his apartment was coming together, as he had finally got to move out of the knight dorms. it still looked really good, but there was some areas around the apartment that could really use some decor pieces. however, he was glad that they had come across the kitchenware, as he wasn’t quite happy with the dishware he had brought over from the dorms that was his. plus, it was nice to be able to have a second opinion on things and he knew that suran was the one who would for sure help with that. his finger tips ran over his options, head titled a bit as he looked at them. it truly was going to be a hard choice, that’s for sure. “the cabinets are a sleek white color. but, the island is black and brown. i really like it because it really contrasts against the white of the counter! ah, it’s so nice,” he says, giggling a bit. “i have pictures if you’d like to see! i had to send some pictures to my grandparents!”

whenever suran was let free from the confines of lipstick’s dormitory, she spent hours searching through the city of seoul, and the internet, for the perfect furnishings for her newly purchased high-rise apartment; it being important to her that it not only reflected her personality, but was tastefully elegant, as well, in case she were to entertain guests. now, though, she’s proud to call her place of living her home, and she hopes that, in time, duri will learn to do that, too. “hm, that does sound pretty intriguing that the colors contrast with each other so nicely, to be honest, and it seems like the selected palette will give you lots of options to choose from !” she exclaimed; collecting her thoughts as her pupils drifted towards the shelves full of dish-ware. “i’d love to see pictures of it, but so far, i’m thinking that you should go with a little pop of color to add a little bit of flair to the neutrals it has. like, a mustard yellow, or a sky blue ? something bright to show people that it’s your house, after all. eye-catching colors will show off some of your personality, duri-yah. you’ve always been a pretty little sunbeam !” she teased, reaching an open palm out to nudge his shoulder delicately. “what do you think ?”

“hmm, aren’t we a big group full of visuals, though ? is this really necessary ? weren’t we all chosen because of our looks ? to entertain you, i’ll give you a quick rundown of what i think. YOONAH is a solid 10 across the board for me. i’m a sucker for a rapper, though. i think it’s obvious that HYEJU is an ideal type in my eyes, so i’d also rather her a 10. MINHEE is a super beautiful girl—her smile takes everyone’s breath away. she’s a 10 from me, as well. CANDY is definitely easy on the eyes. have you seen her body and her lips ? seriously, that girl could wreck anyone that she meets in person. she’s a 10 to me, too. if you’re not happy with my answers, then clearly, you’ve never taken a good, long look at all of us.”

“i mean, i hate to say this, but i feel as though one of us has already left, so i’m not sure i’d WANT to kick anyone out. i do know that candy’s been interested in going solo, though, so maybe i’d help her out and say her ? what’s sad, though, is that she adds so much vibrancy to lipstick, so she’d be sorely missed. can i say myself ? i’d happily get the boot if it meant i can pursue further acting endeavors. i feel like i sound like a broken record with that, but i can’t necessarily help the truth as i see it. i don’t know. i’m rambling now, hah.”

“i feel as though i wouldn’t have been able to stand solidly on my own as an idol in the state that i was in around début. as much as we’ve had arguments in the past, my group-mates were there for me when not a lot of others were, and i really adore them all for that. i feel like they’ve taught me to trust people easier—to stop being so guarded, and to let people in like i eventually learned to do with them. i can genuinely say that i feel like i can be myself around them, and they won’t necessarily judge me for it either. they’re a support system i know that i’ll always have. it’s sort of like being put-together forces you to form strong bonds, but even with that said, i don’t regret being paired up with them at all. i feel as though i’m super lucky for that. as far as my private life is concerned, i would argue that everything’s already put out there in some form, so that wouldn’t make too much of a difference on me anyway. i will say though—i’d happy take my privacy back if it meant i could be an actress instead of a singer. is that some sort of loophole to this question that i can pursue ? if so, i’ll take that option !”

“this, too, is a bit of a tricky question, but i feel like i know what the answer is. i would want to do solo activities outside of lipstick, of course, but i don’t think i’m quite ready enough to break-free from the group yet. while bc is flawed, and while being a strict idol is flawed, i’m still riding the wave for awhile, i feel. i know that bc has plans for me to release music in the near future to see how it goes for me, and though it’s not what i’d ideally like for myself, i’m complying since i’m contractually obligated to. you can’t bite the hand that feeds you.”

“ah, well, this is a hard subject to talk about, but honestly, goeun-unnie was someone that i looked up to quite a lot; both while we trained, and even after we débuted. i feel like she was drastically misunderstood, and i think her coldness wasn’t necessarily her feeling as though she was better than everyone, but more so that she was focused so intently on work. really, i can’t help but miss her being apart of lipstick. sometimes, i feel as though we’re not whole without her. i don’t agree with how her exit is being handled, and i think both on the her part, and on the company’s part, it could be treated with grace, but it’s not that way, and i feel as though it makes me wonder what her true intentions are, and it makes me realize that trying to take a respectful leave isn’t necessarily possible. i just wish her the best… and hope that she keeps in touch. i know that i’ll do my part with that, but it’s hard to tell if she will, too.”

“well, i believe i already answered the first question, but i’ll give you the short version here. i’d fuck, and marry, both minhee and hyeju, and i’d kill candy. as far as what i’d like to achieve is concerned, then well, i’d have to say that i’d adore to be able to stand in my own lane as an actress—one who is constantly at work, and booking big roles. that, in and of itself, would be the pinnacle of success for me, personally ! i think what i have with lipstick is beautiful, but i can’t help but want more out of this career, you know ? i feel like the first call i got from a casting agent letting me know that i secured a role in a drama was my happiest moment. i remember being such a small child and being so thrilled with excitement that i jumped up and down for hours, and hours, and hours. that, or definitely when i was given the role of eun-tak in GOBLIN, too. it’s definitely a toss up between those, for sure.”

“oh, well, i hope none of the girls take this personally as it’s all in good fun, but here goes—i would fuck yoonah because, well, i mean, have you seen her ? what a stunner ! i also feel like she’d do really well in the bedroom, hah. as far as who i’d marry ? hmm, well, it’d be a bit of a toss-up between hyeju and minhee. those girls are my loves, and i hold them so close to my heart. killing ? well, all i’m left with is hwayoung, and to be honest, i feel like she honestly wants to see me dead sometimes, so i’ll probably return the favor and kill her. why not ?”

“that’s… a complicated question. as much as i’m grateful for all of the opportunities i’ve been given while being an idol, it’s certainly not something that i would encourage the faint of heart to pursue. in the beginning, i thought it would grant me endless exposure, and in the end, i’d transform into an actress—that was my goal all along. performing in a singing group was only meant to be a stepping stone for me, but it’s turned into a lot more than i ever realized. in the beginning, well, i was a bit of a mess, and quite frankly, i still am. aside from the loving fan-base, and the fame, and the money, being an idol has riddled with me with vanity and pain. if you want honesty, there it is. i wish people weren’t so harsh on appearance. before i started to train, i never really thought twice about my looks. sure, i thought i was pretty, but after i entered bc, my whole world began to revolve around how i look… and in a lot of ways, it still does. i just wish that all of that wasn’t so important, and that i could go back to not really caring so much. i envy the women who can live normally, but that in no way means that i’m not thankful, or that i’m absolutely miserable in my job. i just hope for honest changes.”

“oh, that’s easy—steamed pears topped with cinnamon sugar, beautiful clothing, sweet men, my beloved family, and my strong friendships ! i feel like, especially in this industry, that you truly need to surround yourself with those who fuel you with benevolence. it was difficult to find that in the beginning, but now, i feel like i’ve found my footing with that. as far as other roles that i wish i could’ve portrayed… well, there are quite a handful, really ! for example, i’d have loved to perform as princess minhwa in MOON EMBRACING THE SUN if i were given the chance to back then, but i do think that chaeyeon’s performance was stellar. speaking of which, her role in as hongjoo in WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING is one i would’ve adored to portray, too ! clearly, she’s extremely talented, and i look up to her a lot in that regard. i also just recently binge-watched PLAYER, and the whole time, i was so envious of hana’s part in that. aryeong was such a thrilling role, and i’m so happy that she was able to bring such life to it. that’s another i would’ve happily accepted if i had the time, but these women really did amazing work with those scripts ! i’m so happy for them and all of their success.”

        his eyes had scanned the dishware sets in front of him, not entirely sure on what he should get. he was still using his old dishware, as well as pots and pans from the knight dorms. so, he just thought he could donate his old stuff to bring in some new things for a new place. “suran,” he says softly, looking upon her. “which dishware do you think i should get?” he questioned curiously, before stepping forward. “i really like the white square dishware set. but, maybe the black dishware? or the white and grey? ah, it’s so hard,” he says, a soft giggle leaving his lips. “which do you like best?” 

being that lipstick has had fairly active promotion cycles since the middle of last year, as well as her personal schedule being quite overloaded, too, suran hasn’t had much time to shop for new décor for the new apartment she’d purchased not too long ago. so, when duri, an old friend of her’s from their time as trainees, invited her out shopping with him, she happily agreed; dolling up in the most beautiful, yet still casual, attire possible. now that they were paused in the area devoted to kitchenware, she tuned into all he said; nodding her head periodically as she took the time to scan through each color option he was intrigued with. “hmm, well, that’s a bit of a loaded question, duri-yah!” the sub vocalist, sub rapper began; reaching up to adjust the pair of glasses that were perched on the bridge of her nose. “remind me—what color scheme is your kitchen now? it’s been so long since i’ve paid you a visit that i... honestly don’t remember.” after this excursion with her, he’d either love her, or hate her, for her need to overthink everything, especially when it came to aesthetics.