be natural

being behind the wheel of a car was a place that soyee never thought that she’d find herself. it made her feel incredibly uncomfortable, and she could practically feel her throat closing up at the thought of being behind the wheel of a moving car. ever since her late mother had passed away in a car accident, she’d been hesitant to even get in cars, let alone drive one. but she was an adult now, had been for quite some time. she was almost thirty and she still didn’t have her license. she had to get over her fear sometime, right? she glanced over at ash, worry lines creasing her forehead, but she tried to smile through them. the smile came out more like a grimace than anything though. “thanks for helping me with this.. i really appreciate you.” she idly drummed her fingers against the steering wheel, before she shifted suddenly. “wait,” she mumbled bending down for several seconds, until she popped back up holding her heels in her hand. “i don’t think my first time driving should be wearing those.” she tossed them in the back seat. “so.. what first, mister driving instructor?”

“so was this like a one time thing, or does bc always call ahead whenever you go shopping to clear out a store?” soyee asked as they browsed through the racks of clothing that the high end boutique had on display. she hadn’t been shopping in quite some time, and her closet was begging to be filled with new purchases. of course she enlisted in the help of one of her closest friends, hana, to come along with her. hana was one of the few people that she kept around that actually understood her. they both knew what their worth was and they never settled for anything less than. not to mention, she was easy on the eyes and was a good time in the sheets, but that was neither here nor there. “you know what i need?” she stopped browsing suddenly. “shoes. where are the shoes?”

“yeah, it has been a while..” soyee couldn’t keep the slight frown from spreading across her face. the guilt that had been eating away at her had only intensified over the past several months. she knew that her fans were anxiously waiting for her, a lot of them even going so far as to blame gold star for the hold up on her career, and while they were partly to blame, it was mostly herself. she was holding herself back. she didn’t know why she was still so afraid to go up on a stage again, especially because the chances of anything bad happening again were unlikely to happen, but there was still an underlying layer of fear that held her back. she hated herself for it. “i’m aiming for this summer, sometime around late june or july. that’s just a guess though, we’re still hard at work on it.” she chuckled, her frown quickly leaving and being replaced by a smile. “whatever it is, i know it’s going to be great.”

with how many active idols were in the industry, one would think that it was hard to run into people you were trying to avoid. it seemed as though life always had a funny way of making people look foolish, especially in soyee’s case. the very person she had spent the last several months trying to avoid was the very person that she was being forced to work with. her and namwoo had a very funny relationship. what had once started out as a strong friendship had crashed and burned and turned into ash, something that she deeply regretted. she wished they had never made the mistake of sleeping with one another. that was what had killed their friendship, and it upset her deeply. she missed her friend, someone that she used to depend on and lean on. now they were nothing more than strangers, which made working together all the more difficult. she walked onto the set slowly, makeup done and dressed in the clothing that the stylists had put her in, her tall frame raised even taller because of the heels that graced her feet. she took one look at namwoo, holding his gaze for a second, before looking away. “let’s get this over with.”

“this is not what i asked for,” soyee spoke into her phone, her tone harsh and acidic. “when i spoke to you last week, i specifically said i wanted the beige marble countertops, not the brown ones. do you think i’m stupid? do you think i don’t know the difference between brown and beige? i thought so. imagine my surprise when i walk into the store and find that they’re holding brown countertops for me. fix it. now.” she ended the call with a hard press of her thumb, rolling her eyes. she shoved her phone back into her purse, zipping it closed, before her eyes flittered over to the person standing nearest to her. “good help is so hard to find.”

“hey shorty,” soyee greeted as she came up behind noah, a smile on her lips. they’d known each other for quite some time, ever since he was a trainee under gold star. ever since he had mistaken her for a model and not another trainee, something that she still found humorous and still made fun of him for. of course she couldn’t be upset by his words; who would be upset at being mistaken for a model? it was ever since then that she decided that she was going to take him under her wing and treat him like a little brother. it wasn’t really hard to do that, especially considering his smaller height and stature. she gently plucked him on the back of his neck when he didn’t turn around fast enough for her liking. “yah, noona’s talking to you, turn around.”

soyee would never consider herself a great teacher by any means, but she did know that she was a great singer, and if anyone could help jaewon find his voice, it was her. she knew it was going to be a difficult task, but she hadn’t realized he would be so stubborn. which was mostly her fault, seeing as how she had met him many times before and had gotten to know him well enough to know that he was as stubborn as they come. “you know what?” she asked suddenly, picking up her head from the piano she had been staring intently at as her fingers danced across the keys. “i know what your problem is,” she started, turning around so that she could face him properly. “you don’t have any confidence in yourself. do you think you’re a bad singer, jaewon?” 

“sometimes us girls just need to treat ourselves, you know?” soyee asked rhetorically, sitting back in the reclinable chair while her toes and fingernails were buffed and polished. if you came to her a decade ago and told her that she would willingly be getting her nails and toes done, she would have laughed in your face. now it seemed as though she went every other week to get a touch up. oh, how the tables have turned. she glanced over at soojin, watching as she received the same treatment as she did. “i know you and your members are going to be pretty busy in the next few weeks, so i figured i’d treat you and we could spend some time together before your tour and your comeback.” she smiled. “are you excited?”

it wasn’t unheard of for there to be mix ups regarding clothing at stores and boutiques, but in soyee’s case, they rarely ever happened because her stature was much larger than most of the other women in the industry. which was why she was vaguely annoyed as she stood there at the counter of one of her favorite boutiques. definitely not her favorite after this though. she tapped her manicured fingernails against the counter. “i don’t understand how you could have mistakenly given my clothes to someone else. how many other one hundred and eighty centimeter tall women do you have coming in here?” she asked, not bothering to hide the snarky tone of her voice. “you know what? forget it. don’t expect me to come back here anymore.” she turned on her heel, stopping short just before she bumped into someone. she glanced down at the girl, immediately recognizing her as lipstick’s maknae. “i wouldn’t shop here if i were you. they have a habit of losing clothing.”

after being in the idol industry for over seven years, soyee had met and befriended many other idols. her list of contacts and connections without the industry stretched far and wide, and even then, she still wasn’t familiar with every one who was actively working and releasing music. the salon that she frequented usually wasn’t busy, partly because she went during the middle of the day when most people were already busy at work, but mostly because it was a salon that catered primarily to celebrities and high profile people who could afford it. with a magazine on her lap, she carded through the pages absentmindedly, waiting for her hair to finish drying underneath the hairdryer she was sitting beneath. the bell over the door chimed, signaling that another patron had entered, and she didn’t bother looking up until several moments later when she felt someone occupy the open chair next to hers. “roxie-ssi,” she greeted with a small smile. “getting a touch up?”