broken & bred

despite the couple of acting projects yujin had participated in, this was her first time receiving such a question. it comes so out of the blue that she’s taken back and needs a moment to really think about it for a moment. luckily for her, rina continues on to talk about her own thoughts regarding her own career which buys her some time. 

“it depends on what you want? i feel like tv drama’s give you a more instant boost of acknowledgment from the public.” she pauses for a moment because she begins to wonder if rina even needs that. she’s a member of wish, after all. “but movies are seen as higher class. a different level. if you do really well with one of those, it’s like a total boost in your filmography.” at least, that’s how she’s always thought about those two different sectors. 

with a hum, yujin continues to build her thoughts. “personally, movie acting seems more intense. i’d like to build a longer resume on tv drama’s before i move over.”

rina nodded her head in agreement, looking down at she listened. it was true. if ti was on tv, there was more of a chance of someone watching it and wanting to check out more of her work. it could be random, just flipping through the channels. and unlike tv, most people didn’t randomly go to the movies, they were looking for a certain film. even still, filming at it’s pros. 

“ugh, both sound great.” but she couldn’t film throughout the entire year...or could she?

acting is something mirae has been passionate about since before she’d made her acting debut back in 2012, but when her friends talk about favoring it over life as an idol, she can’t relate. being an idol and being and actress are two sides of the coin for mirae, and the two things she wants to keep doing for the rest of her career.

“you don’t have to know. you’re still young. when i was your age, i was only picking up a role every two years or slow.” sure, she might have missed out on roles because of it, but she’s happy she took it slow and gave herself time to take lessons and have life experience and grow between each project. now that she’s older, she feels more prepared for taking on roles in quicker succession.

“there’s no such thing as the perfect role, so don’t stress too hard about that. when the role comes to you that you need to fight for, then that’s the one you fight for. if you have to stop and consider whether it’s worth fighting for, it’s not the one.” mirae looks at nari inquisitively, wondering if she’s helping at all.

“i’m under an nda, but i’ll test its limits for you,” mirae jokes. “it’s an anthology series, actually. four episodes with four different directors and four different stories, and i get to play the lead in each one. the kind of thing that only really works on netflix, but i guess that’s why i wanted it so badly. it’s different.”

“when you were my age? are you that much older than me?” rina couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle, mirae didn’t seem that much older than her but what she did she really know? but waiting every few years, it wasn’t something rina was sure she had in her. she spent too much time as an idol and now she needed to take whichever roles she could get. it’d be harder once she was a bit older. 

rina understood what mirae was saying, it just didn’t feel that way when it came to the company, she had to find the perfect role for them to support. “once again good advice.” because it was when she applied it to just herself and only herself. “hopefully, i’ll be able to keep it with me for future projects.” whenever that one came. 

“lucky for you… or, unlucky, depending on how you look at it, that’s not really an ‘if’ for me.” filming for her netflix drama is mostly on hold for the moment while silhouette promotes their latest comeback. she has a few reshoots for scenes scheduled in her free time, but it’s mostly serving as a post-production period for the episodes she’s already filmed before she wraps up filming after silhouette isn’t spending all of their time waiting backstage at music shows.

“i say it’s about making sure you’re putting yourself out there. let your team know you’re ready to take on more projects and read every script and audition request that comes your way, even if your first impression is that you wouldn’t match it. having an idea of what you want is one thing, but if you aren’t sure, there’s good in that, too. it makes you an open book,” mirae advises.

“i was struggling to decide what i wanted to do until the script for my current project came to me, and as soon as i read it, i knew i’d be heartbroken if i didn’t get to do it. don’t let yourself fall into a pattern of ‘safe’ roles or take on a drama or a movie just because it’s offered to you. that’s my advice.”

“i think thing’s will be fine with the both of us.” rina let out a chuckle, “just in case you weren’t interested in an acting career.” she never knew what people wanted to do in their personal lives. some people really did enjoy being idols, they loved every bit of it. it just wasn’t her. 

“very good points, i’m just not sure what where i want to head yet.”

having another warm body to come home to would have been a good thing for guanting. he hated being alone, and living alone had been something that filled him with a little bit of stress and anxiety. it had of course gotten easier over time and the longer he lived by himself, the less that he disliked it, but it was still something he was growing used to. “what made you like snakes then?” he asked, his curiosity getting the best of him. a smile spread across his face when one of the puppies meandered over to him, immediately reaching out for the pup and pulling it onto his lap. “oh, you’re a plant lover too?”

“they’re just interesting creatures, you know?” well, maybe he didn’t know but she thought most people thought they were interesting. even if they were scared. “people are scared of them, i was scared of them at one point.” then she overcame it. “then i learned more about them and i just became very, very interested. i love how they come off so cold, they’re fine with being alone. i’ve watched a bunch of videos and they’re just so cute.” and a few of them had personalities. “and yes! i take it you are? my entire plant is covered in plants.”

things hadn’t. 

“i don’t know if i want to go for more tv-drama’s or try and push for more movies.” that’s why she had a few different projects in front of her. “and more than that, i don’t know what genre and character i want to go for next.” things blended together at some point, it was less clear cut. “how would you go about it?” 

within the virtue of being fully honest, he could not give less of a shit about whatever this woman’s day to day like was like. frankly, he was blanking on her name. he knew he knew it, like it was stuck on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t be bothered to try to flick the fucker off. wish, that much he was sure of by the quick glance he’d given at her arrival. her fans might have wanted to murder him if he knew how he was thinking of her now. ha.

andy wasn’t in the mood to pretend to have a proper conversation. his eyes stayed glued to the small creatures around him, rather than the bigger one however the fuck further away. “yeah, just be torture if you got a high energy dog like that, just to leave them alone or kenneled all the time. better to make the right decisions there.” judgmental? andy? never.

he could give one small truth, if only for the sake of not having her complain about him to her girl friends. “my girl won’t let us get a snake. i’ll get one one day anyway.”

rina had focused in the on dogs in her lap for a moment. for a moment she wondered what it would be like to live life, like a dog. it was a silly thought and people would look at her strange if she said it out-loud but animals seemed to have truly simple lives. it was something she wanted. everyday she wondered how she had managed to get this point in her life? a career she wasn’t truly happy in and she wanted to do more, outside of wish, then she was ungrateful. 

“good point.” that was something that he had considered when he had first made the decision to get a dog of his own, but it was something that he had quickly come to what he thought was a good solution. he would take his pet to training courses and he’d have to take it out whenever he got home from schedules, and before he left for schedules. if it meant getting a little bit less sleep, then so be it. it would be worth it. “snakes are cool, when they aren’t venomous or poisonous.” he laughed. “have snakes always been one of your favorite animals?” 

“a sad but true point.” she’d love to have a puppy, in fact, she might’ve done both. finally, the puppy in her lap ran off and she reached out to pet another that didn’t seem to care about her one way or another, it made a chuckle leave her mouth. “no, i didn’t like them at first, i didn’t give them much thought, i was like other kids who were into th small, cute and safe animals.” then she grew up a bit and found ones she loved. “that’s also true, no venomous or poisonous snakes for me. between snakes and my plants, i’ll be busy.”

even though it was just the first volunteering event, guanting knew that it would end up being his favorite and preferred one amongst the three that were set in stone in each idol’s schedule. don’t get him wrong - he didn’t hate or dislike children, nor did he hate or dislike old people, but he did feel a lot more comfortable with animals than he did with the former. mostly because animals always seemed to like him. children were a close second in his eyes. they were cute, when they weren’t leaking or spitting up everywhere. and in last place was the elderly. it was always a hit or miss with the older generation - you never knew what kind of old person you were going to get. ting tended to get the ruder ones. 

he had spent about fifteen minutes in the room with the puppies when another idol entered the room, causing his to glance up in their direction. he smiled in greeting, before turning his attention back to the few pups that were still yipping and playfully biting at him. “ah, same here.. i think i might end up adopting a puppy one day soon. i need someone to come back home to everyday,” he joked, looking up so he could meet her eyes. “oh? why snakes?”

“a puppy would be fun but i think i’ll be too busy to take care of one. taking them out for walks, training and all of that.” she could hire someone to do it but that wouldn’t help her feel like she was really apart of it. “they do make it hard.” she watched as the puppy lazy tried to nip at the tail that was in front of him. “snakes, aren’t they cool?” that was one reason, not the only one but a big one. “they’re a bit misunderstood, people are scared of them first but i’m sure they need homes as well.”

before coming, andy’d decided he wouldn’t let anyone tell him he couldn’t get into the hands on dirty work. if he was going to be showboated around for image purposes, he might as well be doing the work that matters, and that he was experienced in. not a conversation about kairi could go by without andy’s chest puffing out over his dedication to her training to the point that that doof of a dog listened to his every word.

andy glanced back at the person speaking, and after deciding they were probably trying to start a conversation, gave an inch. “pretty sure you gotta go to a pet store or breeder for snakes. don’t think any snakes are classed as strays.” the thought had yet to occur to him before, and honestly, he didn’t like to think of such a thing. inevitably someone’s pet snake had been murdered for the lack of thought on strays. one of the bigger, gangling pups with feet much too big for the rest of them came over, and andy gave them a solid head rub. contrasting his softened actions, though, were his continued words, “if you get a dog, go for an older one. these dogs won’t be here long. and they’ll shit and piss all over your house.” they were damn fucking cute, though.

“that’s true and mostly not here but there are some shelters.” she’d chose the breeder over the pet store but there were snakes up for adoption. and she had ideas for a room that would just be for them. snakes were interesting creatures and people were scared of them most of the time. and she thought they were cool, there was a kinship there. 

she liked this slight change in sound.

there was another idol here, already playing with the dogs and rina quietly slipped into the room, watching as some of the curious pups ran up to her. it took a bit of moving around before she could sit on the floor and scratch one of the pup’s ears. “this almost makes me want to get a god...” she said it out loud, to the idol and herself. “but i’m a bit more interested in the snakes.”

“really? me too,” eunah said, raising an eyebrow curiously. she supposed it made sense with nari’s personality for her not to do well in crowds, but she also wondered how she managed it as a member of wish. for eunah, it was alright, most of the time. 7rophy had never even had a proper concert of their own. her experiences with crowds were exclusively from performing in front of them – she hated the idea of being caught up in a real one, like the ones she always saw swamping wish members at airports. “audiences are fine though, for some reason. it’s a weird kind of distinction for me, i guess. maybe it’s because i’m not actually in the crowd.”

“mm, you’re welcome. it’s no trouble on my part at all.” eunah popped a grape in her mouth, eyes fixated on the way nari pushed her food back and forth on her plate. was that what she looked like when she ate? suddenly conscious that she might be caught staring, eunah wrenches her eyes away from nari’s food, and back to her own. “i hope so. i tried to make it as much of a real vacation as i could, besides the concerts. i signed up for some horseback riding and a candle making class, so those’ll be fun … hopefully. and i got a bungalow room, so i’m happy! i don’t think i could share a room with two others again, now that i’ve had a taste of life outside of the dorms.” 

rina gave her a small smile of relief. at least eunah wasn’t too worried about her. rina nodded her head, she knew people who could come alive on stage. “i just hate all of the eyes on me.” but this was good as well, it means people didn’t know or forgot her missteps in the past. “i used to be fine, i’d be uncomfortable but i could get lost in the performances. then one day during promotions, i froze in the middle of the song...and ran off stage.” she hadn’t been the same since. “now, whenever we’re performing, i wonder if the people looking at me are waiting for another misstep.”

“oh, i don’t know that i’m qualified to be giving reviews, but i can let you know what i think after i watch it if you really want me to.” mirae herself had made her acting debut almost a decade ago, but idol activities had to come first in the eyes of the company, so she never felt as experienced as someone who had been able to dedicate all ten of those years fully to acting.

“that’s exciting!” mirae had only ever been in films. she didn’t have anything against television projects, but the scripts rarely stood out to her as much as the film ones that came to her did. a lot of what was popular on television felt too heavy on the romance or too makjang for its own good. “did you have a good experience on set?”

“i’d like that but it think anybody can give a review.” now, that was something rina was positive about. maybe not a deep, in depth one but as long as there was some type of feedback, rina would be happy about it. “just more of a, would you tell other people to go and check it out, even after release...i’m still nervous about it.” she hadn’t looked at any real reviews so far. 

alice could see the reasoning behind such a thing. after all, back home they were meant to be idols, consistently on their best behavior. it made sense to stick to the same few foods, right? but here they were tourists, and that meant enjoying the best of what the states had to offer.

“that sounds so dangerous!” alice exclaimed, laughing. “it might be all i eat from now on, if i’m not careful. they sound like they’d be good with fruit, too, like apple pie filling! so, apples i guess.” she giggled sheepishly. 

“not at all.” mirae smiled at the woman who sat beside her, welcoming her to the table, but it only takes a few seconds for mirae to put an identity to her face. “oh, you’re in wish. and you’re in the new thriller film — the call, right? — that i’ve been meaning to watch. maybe i’ll watch it on the flight back to seoul.”

mirae takes her job as an actress as seriously as she’s always taken her job as an idol, so she does her best to keep up with new and interesting releases and the hot actors on the scene, even if it means moments like these where she forgoes basic formalities because her mind jumps ahead too quickly. 

wish. it was always wish. rina was about to nod her head yes when the other woman mentioned her. “yes sunbae, to both.” the smallest of smiles formed on her face. yeah, it was nice to be known as a wish member but it was even better to be known as an actress. even more so when it came to someone was more senior in any industry.