burn me down.

after spending most of his time in bed, hearing about hyunsoo’s outing with his parents was a breath of fresh air, as were bites of a meal that had not been prepared at home. not that he got to complain, his parents had been near obnoxiously insisting in cooking for him (and hyunsoo whenever his boyfriend was home) and yuanjun adored his mother’s cooking more than anything, one of the things he missed most being away from home. but it was nice to be in contact with something that had come from outside of the apartment walls, something that yuanjun himself was still not allowed to do. “your mandarin is better than you give yourself credit for, i’ve known that for a while now.” yuanjun took a break from eating to send a warm smile in hyunsoo’s direction. “i’m glad they weren’t too overwhelming. you know how my parents get they’re… a lot and you’ve never been alone with them before. i was a little worried they’d i don’t know, overwhelm you with how nosy they get.”

yuanjun reached around him for a second to find his phone, discarded under a pillow somewhere, pulling it up and unlocking it to show his phone background to hyunsoo, the picture already set as his background. “i love it so much, it’s my favorite picture in the world.” he promised solemnly, his eyes wide and genuine. “it’s not okay.” his shoulders slumping a little, dissapointment passing through his expression for a second. “all of this is stupid. my stupid lungs and this stupid infection-” yuanjun huffed, stopping himself in his tracks, this was his own fault after all. “i hope we can do that, that there will be a moment that they’re still in korea and i’m allowed of the house.” curling himself into his hyunsoo’s side a little tighter. “m okay, fever is almost gone at this point at least, a lot still hurts and i’m tired all the time but i’m feeling less sick. don’t worry too much yeah? i’m recovering just fine. as long as i don’t cough, that sucks, majorly.”

as someone who was always bouncing around the place, hyunsoo knew that yuanjun was most definitely having a hard time being forced into bed rest. he wished there was a way that he could wave a magic wand and make it all better for the other boy, but there were nice things to come out of the terrible situation. hyunsoo got to enjoy some real, homemade chinese cuisine and he got bond with yuanjun’s family more (and also dote on yuanjun in the process too.) he gladly returned the smile sent his way, shaking his head in the process. “my mandarin could still be better but i got to have a proper conversation this time! much better than when we were in tianjin for chuseok,” hyunsoo grinned before gently brushing the younger boy’s hair back. “i know they just worry about you a lot because you’re their only baby so of course they were a little curious about certain things but it was nothing too bad, don’t worry. i just wanted them to know that i’m trying to be the best boyfriend i can be for you.”

[...] 

So, when Hyunsoo instinctively unlinks their arms and pulls away, Michelle takes it as a sign that he’s not interested in physical contact, and instead of pushing things further only to make him more uncomfortable, she accepts it and moveds forward. Lord knows she’s been in many situations where she’s been touched without wanting to be, so she’d never bully someone into giving her affection if that’s not what they want. “God, I’m sorry if that was too much… I guess I’m just used to, like, holdin’ hands or hookin’ arms with all my friends back home that it felt natural.” She added, smiling in an attempt to lighten the mood again. “Also, you’re so fucking cute, oh my god? I can totally help you choose some things for your sister! Do you think she and I are similar sizes?” At the inquiry, she does a small spin in place for kicks, then nudges him. “Honestly, we may have better luck searching for her instead of me. I can’t help but feel like all that I’ve found to wear here is, like, really matronly almost… and I’m not the type that wants to look like an innocent housewife waiting at home for her husband, you know?”

With that, she guides them into MIXXO; the ambience welcoming and aesthetically pleasant. Now, all she has to do is figure out where to start. “I really need to find some dresses for the summertime. Does your sister wear dresses a lot or is she more into jeans and tees?” When Hyunsoo tells her that he wouldn’t be fun to style, she rolls her eyes. “Really?” She queries, pausing to look at him. “C’mon, you can’t be serious. Everyone here is always talking about proportions, and well, I feel like you may have hit the genetic jackpot when it comes to that. All those angles? All that height? You’re a beautiful canvas.” It’s easy for her to sense that he may have a little bit of confidence issues, and though she may be wrong, Michelle’s now made it her goal to help him out with that. He’s a fucking idol, after all. Aren’t all idols gorgeous by default?

“You’re making me want to completely forget about all my shopping so we can focus on you instead. We can get you in some super hot clothes and set you free to woo everyone around you! What do you think?”

cultural differences wasn’t something hyunsoo was a stranger to; his most favourite cousin was american, his own boyfriend was chinese. there were simply some things that hyunsoo would just have to not think too much into. weren’t people in the west a bit more comfortable with being touchy? he thought to himself, but then concluded that even within cultures it was down to personal preference anyway. he gave the other a slight, somewhat awkward smile - he didn’t want to make things awkward to begin with, but he was glad she was understanding. “i understand, you’ll have to be careful of who you do it with though,” he replied, punctuating his sentence with a nod. watching the other twirl around for a moment, hyunsoo couldn’t help but wonder how on earth he kept being surrounded with people who had so much energy because he simply just couldn’t relate. “ah, probably not,” he scratched the back of his neck, “she’s like, six months pregnant so her clothes style is a bit different at the moment. are things really that matronly looking though? i don’t really look at girls sections in stores, so i haven’t noticed.” 

[...]

A soft sigh falls from her lips as she makes herself even more comfortable against the building’s outer wall; one hand lifting her beverage up to her mouth for another sip as the other holds onto her phone—a fingertip scrolling through her schedule to make sure she’s not ( unintentionally ) playing hooky from any work obligations. Though, in the midst of her distraction, she hears a familiar voice pierce through the ambient ( more like industrial ) noise and sets her sights on Hyunsoo; a playful grin decorating her countenance upon first glance. “Ooh, you’re so official with your car!” She teases, placing her phone back into her purse. Stepping closer to him, she leans in and wraps her free arm around his shoulders; holding onto him for a moment before releasing her grip. “I got here obnoxiously early, so don’t worry about how long it’s been.”

Not wasting much time, she stands at his side and links her arm with his; looking up to him as if to ask nonverbally if the closeness was okay with him. “I think that’s a great idea. Do you have to get some shopping done too, or are you just a sweetheart that’s accompanying a lady during some much-needed retail therapy?” With her query, she steps forward and guides the two of them inside the first shop: MIXXO. She’s pretty unfamiliar with it, but hopes she can find a few things that’ll suit her tastes. “I’ll try not to stay too long in each place. I know how dull all of this can be. Oh, and I heard there’s a really cute men’s shop near here and I’d love to style you if you’re up for it! I think it’s called ZIOZIA? Have you heard of it?”

hyunsoo offered the other a slight smile as she wrapped her arm around his shoulders. he normally wasn’t really one for touching and didn’t really enjoy people clinging to him or hanging on to him (unless it was yuanjun or one of his most trusted friends, of course) but there was no harm done with the gesture, so he brushed it off. it was no big deal. often times he felt like his entire existence wasn’t that big of a deal either - he didn’t really see himself as a handsome celebrity or anything along those lines. he offered a shrug in response, waving his hand briefly. “my car isn’t anything special,” he replied, “i just use it to get around, since i can’t really take public transport...” the last thing he needed or wanted was to be hounded on the subway. “that’s good though, i’m glad you haven’t been waiting long.”

[....]

at least his parents’ presence came with one upside, with them unexepectedly in the country, there was at least the window of opportunity for them to attend hyunsoo’s musical and eventhough his parents didn’t speak much korean, they had been eager to do so. thus it had been settled, yuanjun had shooed them out of his and hyunsoo’s apartment for the night to go watch his boyfriend (yuanjun himself still being heartbroken he couldn’t go, he’d go to every single show if he could) and to grab dinner together afterward. it had been a win-win really, it was the perfect opportunity to let his parents bond with his boyfriend for a little bit and yuanjun finally got some peace and quiet. 

when hyunsoo had returned home for the night, it had been without yuanjuns parents who had retired to their hotel room for the night (thank god they hadn’t insisted on staying in their apartment, yuanjun would’ve lost his mind) but with some food from the restaurant for yuanjun, something that had absolutely delighted him. “so how was tonight love?” yuanjun asked, inbetween bites of food. he was still stuck in bed but now he was sitting up at least, progress, even if slow. “i hope my parents weren’t too… themselves. i know they can be a lot to deal with. they let me know they had a lovely night though and that they enjoyed spending time with you so incredibly much.” before hyunsoo had gotten home, yuanjun had spent a long while on the phone with his mom as she had rambled about how lovely and polite and kind hyunsoo was. “thank you by the way, for the pictures you sent. it meant a lot.” at some point, hyunsoo had sent him some selfie of him together with his parents, they were absolutely adorable. “i… i wish i could’ve been there tonight. i’m sorry for not being able to make it. i would’ve snuck out but… manager-noona would’ve efficiently choked me to death if i had tried.”

the past week felt like a whirlwind and hyunsoo was only starting to get back on his feet. yuanjun’s incident in japan had scared the life out of him, only to be made worse by the fact that hyunsoo couldn’t be there with him in the hospital as he had to finish the concert up with the rest of charm. on top of that, he hated hospitals to begin with, but he loved yuanjun more and so he’d spent as much time as he could making sure his boyfriend was comfortable and okay whenever he had a free moment between rehearsals for the concert and for his musical. now that the tour was over, though, hyunsoo felt like he could breathe a little bit now and focus just on his musical, especially now that yuanjun’s parents were over from china. not exactly the circumstances he’d hoped to see them again in, but still. on the plus side, it meant they got to come to his musical and hyunsoo get to spend some time alone hanging out and getting to know his in-laws a bit better. 

when aidynn was younger he barely saw a future for himself, he didn’t expect to make it to his twenties, or let alone to live years into them at this point. yet here he was, an idol , doing everything in performing that he wanted to be doing the opposite of honestly. it paid the bills though an opened some doors as a result. he barely wanted to be an idol, let alone perform in a musical as a rapping tree. if that happened he might just have to actually to find a way out of his contract if it arose. “if you think yuanjun would follow full etiquette or whatever and not speak i think you are sadly mistaken and don’t know your boyfriend well.”

there had been a long portion of aidynn’s life where he didn’t expect to live to see 20 years old, let alone surpass that many years on earth. it was the only plan he had for a long time until he stumbled into a bc audition one day and ended up an idol. before it was just finding things to pass the time and now he had a career technically and open doors for more opportunity. though he wasn’t entirely sure which life he would have preferred at that point. “a rapping tree, i’m sure people would fucking love it,” he shook his head, smiling slightly with amusement at the thought of himself as such a thing. honestly he’d never paid attention in history classes whenever he bothered to show up for school so he really didn’t know much about this arthur guy that hyunsoo was playing or what happened in his story, but he assumed he would have learned it in school at sometime. “i’m not surprised, i can deal with him for a night.”

[...]

Now that she’s finished filming the video for “One&Only,” she has a good amount of free time before she’s set to promote it, and being that her grandparents have given her some spending money recently, Michelle’s decided to treat herself to a shopping spree—one that she argues she’s in desperate need of. Her wardrobe hasn’t been updated in a very long time, and to be honest, she’s aching to find clothes that aren’t so conservative. Korea’s sense of style differs greatly from what she’s used to donning back in America, that’s for certain, and while it’s not like she wants to go drastically overboard with her attire, she thinks spicing things up a little would be fun. She has no idea what she’ll find on Gangnam’s shopping street, but just so she doesn’t have to go it alone, she’s invited a “friend” she’s recently made; a company-mate that shares a similar past in professional ice athletics, who also happens to be devilishly handsome. She’s not gotten to know him well enough to tell if he’s interested in her at all, but the idea of entertaining some male company seemed like a great change of pace. Since she started her training, she’s only been surrounded by other girls… which she’s also not really used to.

Having arrived at their arranged meeting place a little earlier than him, she clutches onto the giant-sized iced mocha latte she ordered and takes a sip; leaning against the wall of the first boutique she wants to browse through. All she can hope now is that she’s not stood up… and if she is, then Kim Hyunsoo will have a lot of explaining to do the next time they see each other.

after a somewhat disastrous end to the previous year, one of hyunsoo’s resolutions for 2021 was to not isolate himself so much. it was always so easy to just stay at home and not talk to anyone other than his family and his boyfriend, but hyunsoo knew that he couldn’t live his life that way. so, to get himself out of the house more often, he decided that he’d spend more time making friends and spending time with people who he normally would only see for work purposes. it was also a goal of his to make more friends with girls; he spent so much time hanging out with guys only that he figured a change would be nice. besides, he’d grown up with two older sisters, and he often missed being around them.

yuanjun beamed broadly at the praise. sure, he had kind of complimented himself first but he wasn’t going to let that undermine the fact that he sure did like it whenever hyunsoo complimented him. yuanjun had never had a lack of confidence but he also had an undying need for attention and affection and his boyfriend did feed into that incredibly well. “i like it when you call me cute.” he smiled broadly, carefully finishing up the piece of fabric he had been cutting out before leaning over to place a soft kiss to hyunsoo’s cheek as he added the pannel to the pile that hyunsoo had yet to show together. his giddy expression, however, quickly changed into a pout at his boyfriend’s next words. “outrageous! how dare she!” he puffed out his cheeks. “your sister is a whole criminal! how are you so calm about this blasphemy, the higest form of treason!” 

it was very simple really, xiao yuanjun just had a lot of love to give, to his friends, to hyunsoo, to his (admittedly small) family and now, by extensions, also to hyunsoo’s family. so an addition to that had him absolutely giddy with joy, a new person to share his love with, a very very tiny person even! it wasn’t something he had discussed with hyunsoo yet, far too soon and nowhere near relevant yet but yuanjun knew one thing for sure, all he wanted was a little fmily of his own one thing. “well you know what they say. don’t knock it till you try it.” he laughed quietly, no need for the sound to be any closer with how close hyunsoo was at this point. “that is very true, i see your point but-” one hand tangling in the front of hyunsoo’s shirt to keep him close, the other gently pushing his hands down to signal him to put his handiwork down on the table. “-but, the baby won’t be born for another few months anyway. surely they won’t mind if we finish this tomorrow rather than today.” and with that, he sealed their lips together for a long, drawn-out kiss.

yuanjun definitely didn’t need anyone to tell him that he was cute or pretty or anything along those lines, hyunsoo was very much aware of the fact that yuanjun himself knew those things. still, that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to compliment his boyfriend, even if meant yuanjun’s ego was inflated a little bit more as a result. “it’s because you are cute, junnie. i’m just stating the facts,” hyunsoo smiled softly as the other boy kissed his cheek and made a mental note of which panels to sew together next. however, once yuanjun puffed his cheeks in outrage, hyunsoo had to bite his lip to stop himself from laughing - which he knew would just outrage the younger boy even more. what a hard life yuanjun had, not having the world constantly revolve around him. it was equally as cute as when yuanjun was batting his eyelashes at him for kisses, though. “you’re right, how dare she,” hyunsoo replied, clearly amused and trying not to laugh, “i will tell her that she will be receiving punishment of the highest level for not having xiao yuanjun at the top of her list.” 

it feels less to flashing the small crumbs for the cameras to swallow when taejin can pick up on what he deems the fractions of some excitement from hyunsoo’s voice. somehow, he deems this less of work when actual curiosity taints his mind — his brows raised, shuffling inside his stance.

“pass it on as i do genuinely mean it.” taejin replies, leading another wave in tandem with a quick glance to the cameras. “i mean by now, i’ve put you in my top five vocalists of bc entertainment — not that it matters much.” laughter crowds his words into a notch into a joke jabbed at himself. the hierarchy of bc no longer meaning anything to an aged dog who would’ve already taken his ticket out the second bc allowed free reign.

but for now, he pretends to remain oblivious as he’s paraded in front of cameras, forced here on their watch for the purpose of baiting the cameras — it’s at least feigned ignorance he can enjoy inside his conversation. 

his chin nods, aiming a pointed look at hyunsoo. “you always find some sort of attachment to your first role — at least, the first role where passion takes over. you think you’ll continue on with musicals after this one?” 

hyunsoo gave a nod in response. if there was anyone who deserved praise, it was the rest of the cast members. he had merely shown up as a rookie actor being forced to try out something new, and they had been so wonderful and welcoming to him. the fact that he was able to pull off a decent performance was because of their patience and support in teaching him everything that he knew. “of course, they’ll really appreciate it. they’re far more talented performers than i am.”

it was always weird to him when people gave such high praise for him and his singing. hyunsoo had been told over and over again that he had such a beautiful voice and that he was talented, but there was always a lingering feeling of imposter syndrome - someone else deserved to be in his spot, someone with more talent and passion. still, he smiled again politely, trying to seem happy with the praise. “oh, top five really is overestimating my ability, but thank you! i haven’t really done much to deserve it.” 

bc’s forceful measures have been worse, or at least have taken zero account of his own interests and time constraints. still, this one seems to be the most bearable, enjoyable even when the majority of the night becomes his responsibility to sit back and enjoy the bellows of vibrato by the cast.

hyunsoo’s talented, and one glance tossed at the charm idol’s one that carries a certain mannerism of knowing how to play by the rules of bc. no friction, no arguments — just playing along to the crowd of cameras.

“i really did enjoy it — it was a nice escape from the rest of schedules.” taejin honestly replies, tuning in a look back to the cameras. years in front of the camera, and by now it’s childsplay how he manages to navigate the grins and waves of fan service to the crowd. “did you enjoy your role? how many more nights do you have left?” musicals have never been his forte, least not when he doesn’t know the behind-the-scenes and schedule planning that goes in. save for the thought that nights in and night out prepping for a stage like this must take some toll of fatigue.

hyunsoo had to admit that he was tired and all he wanted to do after a show was go home and shower after hours spent under the hot stage lights, but he could only imagine that byungchul would be absolutely over the moon to see the great publicity a conversation between two bc artists would bring the company. they had to make sure they upheld the illusion of being a family, after all - even if he rarely talked to half of them. still, he appreciated the time that people took to come and watch him perform, even if it was somewhat forced.

the sad fact of the idol world was that all of it revolved around money at the end of the day and was rarely about what the idols themselves wanted to do. the companies had a product to sell and they wanted to sell as much as poosible. “exactly, you’re catching on,” aidynn joked, reaching out to pet salem himself. the cat was sweet. “they better know not to, the directors or producers or whoever is in charge would be disappointed as fuck in my skills because i have none.” it was clearly that aidynn would never be the actor of charm truly, he’d leave that to some of the others in the group. there were 12 other options to fit that role. he’d stick to making music happily. “if you did i would not be watching, i don’t need to see you being gross with some stranger. i don’t want to see you with your actual boyfriend as is,” aidynn spoke honestly. “alright, good. i best be front and center.”

starter for @fmdhyunsoo / behind the scenes of hyunsoo’s musical

the loud press and the constant flashes of the camera — it’s the headlines that market musicals as the triple threat: acting, dancing and singing. yet, kim taejin’s never felt compelled, never felt ease on stage. instead, musicals become another press event — shroud with bc’s own emphasis and pushes when it’s all said and done, and his wait time lingers around the clicks of the shutters and his hands waving in the air.

figures, it’s all another stint at the picturesque standardization of bc’s image when he’s standing next to his own labelmate, smiling awkwardly with a spine so straight. “hyunsoo, good job with your performance. i thoroughly enjoyed it — i was very impressed with your vocal ability.” taejin’s words sound too prim and proper, stuck within the honorifics and the dip down of his head in a subtle bow. strangers at best, long distance with nothing but the frail string of bc holding them to a common point. still, he plays to the role he’s supposed to, lest the effects of a camera catching something off.

although hyunsoo had paled at the thought of having to do a musical and had practically suffered through rehearsals whilst also doing a japan tour at the same time, he had to admit that he was kind of enjoying himself. he didn’t know if it was the musical itself that he liked or if he was loving being on a musical stage, but he knew that it was better to not over think things too much and enjoy the moment. of course, having one of their own on stage meant that bc was more than likely going to use the opportunity for some self-pr, so he wasn’t surprised to see taejin turning up to watch the performance. 

“no offense hyunsoo, but i’m a lot cuter than you.” yuanjun stated matter-of-factly, pretending like that information was in any shape way or form either accurate or a hard truth while in reality, it was either of those. usually, when it came hyunsoo’s family, yuanjun made sure to be on his best behavior, suddenly becoming the politest, most well mannered boy in the world. he had some good son-in-law credentials to earn still. hyemin, however, seemed to deviate from that norm the most, the poor woman having been the direct recipent of a lot of his bullshit so far, she took it well though, always just as playful in retaliation. “like, look at me, how could she ever say no to me? that should be illegal.”

he was probably getting a little carried away with how excited he was for hyemin to have a baby. sure, they would make sure to see the baby like they did with all of hyunsoo’s nieces and nephews but it didn’t really have to do anything with yuanjun. but still, he was excited and while said excitement mainly came out in the form of ridiculous bigger than life claims. in reality, yuanjun just really wanted to make sure this baby would be showered in love and affection. “well if there is one thing i always do it’s to attempt.” yuanjun reminded his boyfriend, leaning over to steal a few more kisses. “i am so kind, so selfless, i amaze myself.” he pulled hyunsoo even closer. “if we make out for five more minutes i’m willing to make that even longer.” 

hyunsoo could only snort in response. “well, i can’t argue with that, you are very cute” he replied, focusing his attention mostly at the sewing he was doing. cute was something that hyunsoo never really associated with himself to begin with, only being described as cute by his family when he was younger due to him being the baby of the family and, now, it mostly came from the fans and yuanjun. otherwise, people often assumed he was intimidating and unfriendly thanks to how quiet he could be. so, it made sense that yuanjun was a lot cute than him because, in hyunsoo’s eyes, he was. there wasn’t really a day that went by where hyunsoo wasn’t cooing over his boyfriend, whether it be in the mornings or evenings when he was sleepy and extra cuddly, or when yuanjun’s eyes sparkled as he told hyunsoo something he was passionate about. still, he had to give yuanjun a piece of reality. “but it looks like hyemin noona will be committing crimes, then.”

the sentiment was something aidynn could vaguely understand. bc had let him put out his first full album on his own and then approved reload a few months later, but making music was something he enjoyed wholeheartedly and he doubted hyunsoo enjoyed musical theater from the sounds of it all. the older shrugged, “money, probably. that’s usually the reason,” he commented as he lounged in his seat. over the last few weeks alone he really had been spending lots of time with the other charm members, and hyunsoo was just another name added to the list along with the others. “oh yeah, what are they gonna do? put me on a theater stage?” he huffed out a bit of laughter. it wasn’t necessarily the spotlight that aidynn had ever been interested, is was the art and creation of music that initially fueled his love and want to perform (though he never planned to be an idol). “i’ll see if i can squeeze a show into my schedule,” aidynn answered, his way of saying yes.

yuanjun felt incredibly blessed for how well the kim family had taken to him, even before he and hyunsoo had officially gotten together they’d had always welcomed him with open arms and especially ever since he had obtained the official boyfriend status he had been taken into the family like he might just as well have been part of it all along. that had been an incredibly nice experiences, he knew how much hyunsoo loved his family so getting along with them was of the utmost importance and it was pretty nice to have a family so far away from home. 

he puffed out his cheeks as hyunsoo gently tried to lower his expectations on whether the baby would be named after him, clearly not taking that as an answer. “hyemin loves me! how could she possibly say no to me of all people!” he exclaimed dramatically like that was in fact a solid, reasonable argument. “she knows… in her heart.” yuanjun just stated sagely as he continued to cut out the pannels as neatly as he could. while yuanjun wasn’t necesarily known for being orderly, he did have a knack for crafts, he liked to think the plushie would turn out at least pretty decent and any minor flaws would just add to it’s handmade charm. “who else could she possibly consider asking but us? it’s only right and i’ll make sure to subtly put the thought out there before the baby is born.” knowing yuanjun, that would be anything but subtle. “true, i do demand a lot of love and attention.” he leaned over to his boyfriend, silently asking for a kiss. “but for our little baby niece or nephew, i can hand some of that over, for a little bit.”

it probably wasn’t surprising to anyone that hyunsoo’s family had welcomed yuanjun into the family almost a decade ago when the two first met and had slowly but surely become best friends. after all, this was the same family who had taken hyunsoo in all those years ago out of the kindness of their hearts. with yuanjun being so young and so far away from home, they had wanted the boy to feel like he had people to turn to if he ever needed help and, quite frankly, they were just glad that hyunsoo had made such a good friend. the only other friend he had that he was as close to was his best friend from gangneung, who had been by his side since hyunsoo had turned up at the orphanage. so, it was a no brainer that kims wanted to take care of yuanjun considering how special he was to their son.