My dad is a funny man. Genuinely, I think he's a very funny man. Part of his brand of humor is just. Deadpan bullshitting. You don't always know when he's joking.
So I was sitting in the truck at our campsite waiting for him, and he was moving things from the bed of the truck to the back seat so the wood didn't get rained on. He was grumbling under his breath and generally being extremely grouchy (his dog had also pulled a nerve in his shoulder that morning, so he was in pain in top of being in a bad mood) so I'm just being quiet. I can't exactly help him move the heavy things.
He gets in the car, still grumbling, and starts the truck. I wiggle and say, "These maternity pants won't stay up for shit."
Without changing volume or tone, my dad says, "Funny, cuz that's what got you into the maternity situation to begin with."
...
It took me a second to register what he'd said, because his voice didn't change but there was definitely a tone shift. I looked over at him and he's just sitting there grinning smugly at his steering wheel, so proud of himself. I just stared at him. It was so out of pocket and out of character for him - I actually blushed, a fact for which he is so proud.
I hate (and love) that the funniest thing my genuinely very funny dad has said to me was slut shaming me.




























