"We Only Fall in Love with 3 People in Our Lifetime, Each One for a Specific Reason."
Itās been said that we really only fall in love with three people in our lifetime. Yet, itās also believed that we need each of these loves for a different reason...
Falling In Love the 1st Time: The Love that Looks Right.
"Often our first is when we are young, in high school even. Itās the idealistic loveāthe one that seems like the fairy tales we read as children.
This is the love that appeals to what we should be doing for societyās sakeāand probably our families. We enter into it with the belief that this will be our only love and it doesnāt matter if it doesnāt feel quite right, or if we find ourselves having to swallow down our personal truths to make it work because deep down we believe that this is what love is supposed to be.
Because in this type of love, how others view us is more important than how we actually feel.
Itās a love that looks right."
Falling In Love the 2nd Time: The Hard Love
"The second is supposed to be our hard loveāthe one that teaches us lessons about who we are and how we often want or need to be loved. This is the kind of love that hurts, whether through lies, pain or manipulation.
We think we are making different choices than our first, but in reality we are still making choices out of the need to learn lessonsābut we hang on. Our second love can become a cycle, oftentimes one we keep repeating because we think that somehow the ending will be different than before. Yet, each time we try, it somehow ends worse than before.
Sometimes itās unhealthy, unbalanced or narcissistic even. There may be emotional, mental or even physical abuse or manipulationāmost likely there will be high levels of drama. This is exactly what keeps us addicted to this storyline, because itās the emotional roller coaster of extreme highs and lows and like a junkie trying to get a fix, we stick through the lows with the expectation of the high.
With this kind of love, trying to make it work becomes more important than whether it actually should.
Itās the love that we wished was right."
Falling In Love the 3rd Time: The Love that Lasts
"And the third is the love we never see coming. The one that usually looks all wrong for us and that destroys any lingering ideals we clung to about what love is supposed to be. This is the love that comes so easy it doesnāt seem possible. Itās the kind where the connection canāt be explained and knocks us off our feet because we never planned for it.
This is the love where we come together with someone and it just fitsāthere arenāt any ideal expectations about how each person should be acting, nor is there pressure to become someone other than we are.
We are just simply accepted for who we are alreadyāand it shakes to our core.
It isnāt what we envisioned our love would look like, nor does it abide by the rules that we had hoped to play it safe by. But still it shatters our preconceived notions and shows us that love doesnāt have to be how we thought in order to be true.
This is the love that keeps knocking on our door regardless of how long it takes us to answer.
Itās the love that just feels right."
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