Carpe noctem

my least favorite literary smut turn of phrase is when a guy is like “im gonna ruin this pussy” “im gonna wreck this pussy for anyone else” like stop.. thats not yours…!

The earthy smell of rain is one of the most divine scents I’ve ever beheld.

i have a box of bacteria that produce that scent and i sniff it whenever i need to feel something real

buzz aldrin and neil armstrong liked to do a thing where they’d tell unfunny jokes at parties about being on the moon and when people were confused they’d go “guess you had to have been there”

They just invented the world’s fastest sandwich. They’re calling it the autobáhn mì

to be honest i do have beef with some microbes

shoulda cooked it longer that gets rid ofem

i love poison omelette

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got some kick to it i tell you what

Found my husband’s baby book. OBSESSED with an image of him, newborn baby, on what looks like a large white comforter, alone, with the caption New Guy In Town. Obsessed I tell you.