Last heaven of mine.

The theme of this month was “First Times,” or in Ruki’s words, “Virgin.”

Reita: *is already laughing* Okay I want to read something now, can I?

Ruki: Ah, yes.

Reita: A scary story.

Ruki: Ah–!

Reita: …Can I?

Ruki: Yeah, I mean, it’s summer right? Go ahead.

(*In Japan ppl say horror is good to read/watch in the summer bc it “gives u chills” and cools u down…i know)

Reita: Ok here I go

(sinister music starts playing)

Reita: “My ‘First Time’ story is getting a summer cut.”

(long pause)

(both start giggling) 

Reita: (laughing) “Recently…my friends were like (laughing) …you don’t trim…!?” (laughing) – Ok hold on a sec (laughing) 

Ruki: This is a scary story??

Reita: Nah (still laughing smh) My plan was to read it super seriously and you’d be like “This isn’t a scary story!!” (laughing) Sorry, it didn’t work. It’s not a scary story.

Ruki: Oh, it’s not!

Reita: (laughing) “My ‘First Time’ story is getting a summer cut. Recently I was talking with my friends about it, and they were like, ‘what, you don’t trim it!?’ and they were really surprised. Some people do V, I, Y, O, or permanent hair removal, but I’m all natural. ‘Nature.’” (*he says the word ‘Nature’ in English)

Ruki: Ahh HEHEHEHE

Reita: “But recently I learned that even out of natural girls, there are some who trim it and some who don’t do anything.” …Wait, how can you call it natural if you trim it? “My friends recommended I try it because it feels fresh/clean, so I did it myself and it feels really nice, it’s cool and breezy. I want more people to know about this, and I’ve been recommending it to all my natural friends. Which do you guys like – permanent removal, trim, or natural? This isn’t meant to be a dirty question btw.”

Ruki: Oh, it’s not dirty?

(both are thinking very quietly)

Ruki: …..What’s ‘O’?

Reita: Well, probably……..an ass…..sort of….situation…..I think.

Ruki: Ah-! …Wait is she talking about pubes?

Reita: Yes….it’s a dirty question.

Ruki: Yeah, eh…even if it wasn’t mean to be sexual.

Reita: But it is sexual.

(both laugh)

Reita: So, what do you think? Do you like permanent removal, natural, trimmed..?

Ruki: Ok so…..basically….natural is like….you’re just letting it grow all over?

Reita: Yeah, you’re just letting it grow naturally. 

Ruki: Hmmmm….and then there’s….I? Y?

Reita: V, I, Y, O.

Ruki: V…I….I (*he makes some comment about ‘I’ I don’t get it :c)

Reita: (bursts out laughing) No no no..!!! That’s not what it is!! What are you standing on your head!?

Ruki: HUHUHUHU

(both laugh) 

Ruki: Wait…are they asking which one we like?

Reita: Yes.

Ruki: But with ‘Nature’…

(Reita bursts out laughing again)

Ruki: Doesn’t it depend what it looks like?

Reita: Like ‘Nature,’ but there’s not much hair, or…there’s a lot of hair…

Ruki: Or like, brown hair…

Reita: (laughs) So you like natural? 

Ruki: Well, yeah, but….hmm……*mumbles* shhved psssy

Reita: What? 

Ruki: Hairless….I wonder what hairless [pussy] is like.

Reita: Oh, you don’t like it hairless?

Ruki: No, I don’t know.

Reita: Yeah, what’s it like (laughs)

Ruki: Does that count as a summer cut?

Reita: Isn’t that permanent removal? When it’s all smooth

Ruki: All smooth…I wonder what that’s like?

Reita: Well, people do do it. 

Ruki: Ahhhh….look at us talking about this all serious.

(both laugh)

Reita: Ur face (laughs)

Ruki: But yeah hmm I don’t know…for girls…they must feel like they don’t really need it there.

Reita: I don’t know…if they need it or not idk man

Ruki: Well I mean, girls shave their armpit hair too, you know? Probably not their face….oh, do you know any girls who have facial hair?

Reita: Huh? I don’t know.

Ruki: My class president…was a girl. But she had a beard. 

Reita: What, like baby hair?

Ruki: Yeah, a beard of baby hair. 

Reita: But as she got older it probably went away.

Ruki: Oh really…why do u even know that?

Reita: (laughs) …So which are u bitch take a side!!

Ruki: Ehh take a side…….

Reita: You don’t want to?

Ruki: Yeah…hmmmm….I guess ‘V’. 

Reita: No, not that. You have to choose from three. Hairless, natural, or trimmed

Ruki: Oh, trimmed, trimmed. 

Reita: Oh, trimmed? Okay, so like –

Ruki: Trimmed, but also natural. 

Reita: Oh, a natural trim.

Ruki: Hairless, like…..no way. Never. 

At this point they compare bald pussies to the following:

Ruki: But yeah I have to go with trimmed. Or shaved a bit just to give it a nice shape.

Reita: You’re like picking all of them!

Ruki: Yeah I don’t really care tbh.

Reita: (laughs) Tru.

Ruki: What about you?

Reita: Whatever makes her more embarrassed. If she’s more embarrassed without hair, I want her without hair. If she’s more embarrassed with hair, I-I…want her with hair. 

Ruki: What about like, she only shaves the middle like [this guy]

Reita: Omg stop…like u put some designs in there

(both laughing) 

Ruki: We sound like perverted old men now 

Reita: We do?

Ruki: Yeah we’re getting too excited

The single investigators are back with the second cursed video. Yes, we say cursed, because after looking up the lyrics which were in an ancient language called Engurish, we found out that these are related to some diabolical practices, as the word 'devil' is being repeated a lot. So please stay safe, and don't watch these videos.

Reita: “Ruki-san, Reita-san, good evening. I know you guys travel a lot when you’re on tour, but is there anything you don’t like about taking the bullet train or airplane? For me, it’s the whole exchange around reclining your seat. I want there to be a standard as to whether or not you should ask the person behind you [before putting your seat back]. Please take care of yourselves! We rock!”

Ruki: Hm…

Reita: I feel this. The seats on the bullet train…well, if the person behind me is one of you, I feel super relieved. Cause I can just recline that shit all the way back. 

Ruki: But there are some people who worry about that, you know. 

Reita: Well, maybe a little bit. 

Ruki: I don’t worry about it at all. 

(Reita laughs)

Ruki: Especially if it’s a first-class car, people are more or less prepared for that. 

Reita: You ride first-class? 

Ruki: Yeah, of course. 

Reita: Of course (laughs)

Ruki: Oh, shut up. Huhu. But if it’s first-class, it’s not that cramped [even if someone reclines their seat]. But in a regular car, it comes back pretty close, you know?

Reita: It does, it does. 

Ruki: In that case, I would check. 

Reita: If I was just gonna put it back a little, I wouldn’t feel like I have to say anything. 

Ruki: Ah, you’re not the type to say something? 

Reita: Nope. 

Ruki: Ah.

Reita: Well no, if the person behind me was a stranger, I wouldn’t put it back in the first place. 

Ruki: Ahhh….

Reita: I would just have a sore back the whole time. 

Ruki: I put it back right away. 

Reita: Oh. And you ask?

Ruki: Yeah… well, I don’t ask, I glance back at them. 

(both burst out laughing)

Reita: Like you’re coercing them? 

Ruki: No, no, no

Reita: You just look at them like, “I’m just gonna put this back?” Ruki: I look back just to be like, “…sry” 

Reita: (laughs) But if you’re just putting it back a little bit, I think it’s fine. 

Ruki: I mean, there’s a lever to put it back and everything. 

Reita: Yeah, so why do you have to go out of your way to ask the person behind you? 

Ruki: Hmmm…..

Reita: I mean, if you were gonna put it all the way back, that’s different. But I think you shouldn’t be doing that in the first place. 

Ruki: Well, you can only go as far as the lever lets you. 

Reita: Okay, yeah, I guess. 

Ruki: If it was a plane, though, I wouldn’t like that. 

Reita: Yeah, planes…

Ruki: Yeah, planes…

Reita: Cause you always fly business class, right?

Ruki: No I don’t! 

(Reita laughing)

Ruki: I never fly business class…Never.

Reita: If someone is behind me, I never recline my seat. 

Ruki: Right? Same.

Reita: But some people do – I mean, and that’s fine. It’s tricky, eh…

Ruki: It is…

Reita: Oh, if you’re in the middle seat, and you have to get up to go to the bathroom, but the person beside you is sleeping with their legs stretched out, what do you do? 

Ruki: I jump. 

(Reita laughing)

Ruki: I jump right over them. 

Reita: Oh, you do. 

Ruki: I do. I hold onto the seat in front of me and go, boing!

Reita: Well, what else are you gonna do, right. 

Ruki: And there are some times too where we’re on the same plane as fans. 

Reita: Yeah.

Ruki: That complicates things, you know? 

Reita: It does. 

Ruki: It makes it hard to go to the bathroom. 

Reita: Yeah, we can’t go…a while ago on the world tour, I went to the bathroom on the plane, and when I came out a fan was standing right there with a paper waiting for me to sign it – an international fan. 

Ruki: Oh– I got one too. You know how we bump into fans at the airport? Why do they just stand off in the distance and look at us? 

Reita: Well, they’re probably thinking they’re not allowed to come up close, aren’t they? 

Ruki: Nah, they can come talk to us, no? Like, “good job guys” or whatever. Like, I’m not gonna ignore you. 

Reita: Ahhh, yeah yeah yeah. 

Ruki: That’s a real mystery, eh? I don’t think that happens to other bands. 

Reita: Really? 

Ruki: It totally doesn’t.

Reita: But yeah…they definitely don’t come up to us. 

Ruki: Mhm – but when we’re on tour, I kinda get it. There are quite a few [fans]. Like in Sapporo, we’ll see them on the plane, and it’s so intense, they’re all just watching from afar…

Reita (laughing): And they don’t talk to us…maybe they think they shouldn’t bother us while we’re travelling? 

Ruki: I wonder if they think there’s some kinda rule like that, or they just don’t wanna talk to us. 

Reita: …Probably both? (laughs)

Ruki: Well, that’s what I thought, but then in Sapporo, I was drinking milk.

(pause)

(both laugh)

Ruki: I thought no one was around, and for some reason I had my hand on my hip –

(both die laughing)

Ruki: Just drinkin my milk…and then a fan comes up like, “Hello~” …Like why now of all times? 

(Reita laughing)

Ruki: I guess I seemed approachable? 

Reita: While you were drinking milk. 

Ruki: I guess I’m easy to approach when I’m drinking milk with my hand on my hip. 

Reita: It felt kinda comfortable….oh okay, what if you were approached by 50 people? 

Ruki: What, like in a line? 

Reita: Like, they all came and surrounded you. (laughs)

Ruki: What? After a tour?

Reita: After a tour. 

Ruki: …I don’t know…It’s a mystery (*how the fans gather around them) 

Reita: It is, but I think they’re just being considerate of us.

Ruki: …But they just look at us. 

Reita: Ah, so it kinda bothers you? 

Ruki: If I don’t notice them looking, it’s fine, but when I see them and they’re just looking at me and whispering shit…

Reita: (laughs) Yeahh, it bothers me.

Ruki: It does, it does. Like wtf. 

Reita: Yeah…but you know that just means we’re looking at them too. 

Ruki: Omg tru – that’s scary man. 

Reita: That’s……..deep