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Not today Justin
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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@fluffysummers

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If you want a huge fat lady as your partner, I better not ever hear you giving them grief or insulting them for being lazy.
That won’t fly around here. If you make me feel like I can’t just be comfortable, fat, and lazy around you, I’ll be gone. QUICK. Even just friends. I’m good, let me live peacefully.
there was definitely a period of time in my life when i thought that i was asexual. i think a lot of feedists, and in general, people with fetishes and/or very strong kinks, can sympathize with this uncertainty. i tried for many, many years to have the sex most people seem to desire. it caused me so much embarrassment and shame and pain. nothing hurt more than the disappointment from people i cared about who didn’t understand my reluctance to do certain things or the anxiety i always felt in bed. i even, unfortunately, took the path that a lot of feedists/FAs take and purposefully avoided dating/having sex with fat people for fear of making them feel objectified or uncomfortable. could better communication from me have made this all easier? definitely. but i simply didn’t know for a very long time what i truly wanted or how to properly articulate my desire. and even so, it’s difficult to talk to someone about an unconventional fetish you have that they don’t already share. you might ruin things with someone you care about. and the thought of a fat person feeling uncomfortable after i tell them about my feelings, or if they simply realize it in the moment? i could never put someone through that. even if things turn out okay in both those scenarios, you always run the risk of hurting yourself or others. perhaps honesty in these situations represents a trade off between short term embarrassment and long term pain, which is a good thing for both sides, but it can still be a very hard thing to do.
so yeah, i thought i was asexual for a time. part of my confusion in regard to this was my struggle to fully understand what asexuality even means. this is how i’ve come to understand that term over the years:
god, I love this and feel like I could have written a lot of this about my own journey of figuring out how I relate to my sexuality. I’ve also grappled a lot with asexuality as a term and a concept, and have found it useful depending on who I’m taking to. identifying as ace has felt like it erases such a big part of my sexuality, which for me shows up how OP is describing for themselves: more normative sexual desire typically only exists with other feedists or in the context of feedism somehow.
I get resentful that I feel like I need to use a label that feels wrong to me just because my sexuality cannot be understood in the limiting and normative frameworks that are available to us. and yet, if I’m talking to someone who isn’t a feedist or not at least kinky, I do still use the term ace because I’m not interested in normative sex on its own and am at a place in my life where I would choose not having sex over having sex that feels hollow and unfulfilling.
the more sex I’ve had with other feedists, the more clear this has gotten for me. I’m still working through a lot of grief in the understanding that in most cases (never say never), normative sex without kink is off the table. while I would love to want that too, I don’t, and I know (from experience) trying to make myself want it caused a cycle of shame and repression that I’m not willing to go back to. I’m sure this will continue evolving as I do, but I love this post and always feel so comforted by learning that others have similar experiences to my own.
Belly rubs are a type of sex

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Low key holding space for people not ready to directly interact with this community, or trying to but then backing out and trying again. Wishing you an expeditious self acceptance/healing/unlearning fat phobia/whatever you’re going through journey
Just so you know though, mutuality is an essential human need, so know that interacting with people who share your sexual orientation is necessary to your well being
"eating well" insanely erotic pair of words. what
The Kiss (1973) by Chubarov E.I. (1934 - 2012)
Ilya felt like his smile was going to split his face. He was overwhelmingly happy. Shane was beaming up at him, eyes bright and freckles crinkled, and Ilya loved him. And Shane loved him. Holy fucking shit. Shane Hollander is in love with me.
sry in advance that this may become a heated rivalry blog for a minute

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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“I masturbated to the thought of you.” Good do it again
To get to be your feedist self with someone, let your sexuality really exist with them, is a gift beyond words that I hope every feedist experiences at least once in their lives.
how lucky we are to be alive in a time where we can connect with other feedists easily online (even though it’s totally still hard in so many ways and that’s real too)
how big do you WANT to get?
I’m a hedonist so it’s more of a symptom than a goal
as much as i love evil and extreme feeders, there’s something so hot and cute about someone who absolutely melts and is totally mindblown by your gluttony. me listing off what’s a casual lunch to me being a jawdropping list for you. me mentioning how much i’ve eaten today and you automatically squirming and needing to tease me- even from a dominant position. it’s so much hotter than someone hearing the same thing and immediately trying to say it doesn’t sound like enough, or immediately pushing to eat more (if you’re gonna be like this, you better put your money where your mouth is!)
maybe it’s the innate contrast of my huge meals being shocking, or just the sweet nature of it. do i still wanna be dotingly egged on to eat more? duh! and could they still get a little mean with it? duh! but still, some of you need to learn how to praise a feedee along the way rather than just trying to make us force feed ourselves until we feel sick every day😭
I love seeing people really pay attention to the way eating too much makes them feel. If you’re eating, I want you to put one hand on your belly and leave it there, I want you to feel yourself growing under your palms. I want you to notice how tight you get. I want you to know what you’re doing to yourself. I want you to want more.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
several things I can’t get over in this picture with the main one being how huge my ass has gotten. it has been such a journey for my body to decide to put fat anywhere other than my belly, but this is absolutely a fat ass 🥲🥰
abandon shame. theres more interesting emotions to be felt
unless its getting you off. in that case keep going