not ever going back

as of 10 AM today, my grandma’s house no longer belongs to her, and that is surreal! yesterday was one of the worst and most stressful days of my life, 13 hours of pure adrenaline and stress fueled by iced coffee and energy drinks, no food for 10 hours, fifty million things going wrong, all capped off with an allergy attack from the goddamn basement that I will now never have to enter again, thank GOD — I still feel exhausted today, but I’m glad that’s over.

My grandma lived in that house for 56 years and it’s been one of the few constants in my life — I’ve lived there on and off throughout my life. I will miss a lot of things about it, but it was time to move on, for my grandma and all of us. I’m glad this chapter is over now.

my boss: I don't think you've been scattered

In 7 days I will be sleeping in a new bedroom in a new town in total peace and quiet

It stresses me out but I do like cutting down on my belongings and just keeping the stuff I really, really love

Bday next month :) [I am however trying to forget that I am turning 30 yikes]

In less than a month hopefully my multi-month-long nightmare of moving my grandma out of her house of 55 years and into a 2 bed condo with no help from my parents or my aunt or uncle will be concluded

I am excited to set up a new space and get a TV and watch movies and crochet and read and do crafts

I am excited to cook for myself again all of the things that I love and am craving

I am so lucky to have the best friend in the world who checks in on me and makes sure I’m doing okay, much like I check in on her, and I love our friendship that is built so strongly on intentionality and effort

I think in 2 weeks I’m going to get to go to bookstores during the work day with my boss lmao which will be fun

Day off today (even tho I’ve been packing and doing errands for most of it)

Watching Becket tonight with my grandma which I think will add further things to think about re: My Spring of Existential Crisis about what it means to be a Catholic and also a person