I would never do that. My father and the servants have all risked their lives to make sure I survive. This body is no longer my own.

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@fludgs
I would never do that. My father and the servants have all risked their lives to make sure I survive. This body is no longer my own.

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Oh to be sleepy and crawl into bed with someone who's warm and safe and you know will take care of you in all the right ways
date someone who is interested in you. i don’t mean someone who thinks you’re cute or funny. i mean someone who wants to know every insignificant detail about you. someone who wants to read every word you write. someone who wants to hear every note of your favourite song, or watch every scene of your favourite movie. someone who wants to find every scar on your body, and learn where they came from. someone who wants to know your favourite brand of toothpaste, and which quotes resonate deep inside your bones when you hear them. there is a difference between attraction and interest. find the person who wants to learn every aspect of who you are.
黒執事 ONE THIRTY-EIGHT
“…I will receive your soul as compensation.”

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SPY X FAMILY | スパイファミリ
VOL: 1 CHAPTER: 2
you want to say you love her, but the words feel too sharp, too much like broken glass between your teeth. there is too much about you that is broken, and you’re afraid to cut her with all your sharp, all your hurt.
you don’t want to hurt her, but hurt is all you’re good at and you want to tell her you love her but the words cut your tongue. it hurts.
— love tastes too much like blood // p.s.

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i like how writing realistic worlds and characters is so important for so many writers to the point where they agonize over it. meanwhile lemony snicket was just like “death to reality. im gonna write this whole ass series and with god as my witness, absolutely fucking NOBODY is gonna act like a person.”
Daniel Handler, after downing whatever the hell he was on: The baby has piranha teeth and can take a trained swordswoman in a fight.
All of us: Fucking genius.
readers: what time and place is this set in? Daniel Handler: Yes.
“i didn’t know what it was to want, to crave something so badly you feel your soul ripping your insides, trying to reach out for it. i didn’t know what it was to want something so desperately your heart ached at the absence of it. that night, i craved your touch as if you were in another universe, far away from me. i craved your touch so much i repeated in my head, like a spell, like a mantra, ‘touch me’. ‘touch me’. ‘touch me’. please please please i am begging you, put your hand on my heart, your lips on my neck, your eyes on my soul. touch me, god fucking damn it.”
— touch.
exfoliator but for my brain so I can scrub out the trauma

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To me, one of the most important things when it comes to a relationship is to be able to be yourself in front of this person. You gotta feel comfortable and show who you really are. To know there’s no need to lie, pretend or hide. To know they love you for who you are and wouldn’t change a thing. You can be silly or clingy or cheesy and they will just smile and stare at you like you’re the best thing that ever happened to them.
I fucking hate it when you’re in such a fantastically giddy mood and then you see one simple little thing that makes you think, “oh” and then you just get this empty feeling in your chest and you get nauseous and the world just crumbles and you want to just lay under a blanket and close your eyes and fall asleep and never wake up.
From what my therapist told me, this happens because our emotions aren’t really on the ‘opposite’ ends like we tend to think of it. Happiness is not ‘up’ and sadness is not ‘down’-. In a way they’re actually right ‘next’ to each other.
If you’re super happy, it can turn into super sad very easily, because your emotions are already highly elevated and it’s only a very minor shift as far as your brain is concerned.
Knowing this can help you fight it, and it can help you be more aware of what’s going on while you’re happy and help avoid shifting towards misery.
I used to always wonder why it seemed like my happy days ‘couldn’t last’ or that bad things would ‘always’ happen when I was happy. It’s not that happiness is doomed to fail, it’s that emotions are volatile. I hope that helps people who experience this too- when you understand what’s going on more it’s easier to manage.