merde

SAD is real but I am better than I was a few weeks ago. You know it’s not good when people at work are like…. You’re different what’s wrong 😭

Started taking my supplements again, even though I haven’t been exercising, but plan to get back to that once January hits. As well as not drinking for about 10 days.

Lately I’ve been feeling like. Deep, under the current depression. I’m not lonely, I’m not insecure, I’m not in a bad relationship… but I am just deeply deeply sad in the middle of my soul, just devoid of happiness. I told Danny I just want to lay down and sleep forever and he was like that’s dying and I was like. Yeah.

I mean, I don’t want to DIE. But I’m back to that sad and hopeless place when it just feels like nothing is gonna get better because I don’t even have the capability to try to make things better. I’m legit just. Getting to work on time. Trying to speak to people. Cleaning the kitchen. Repeat.

Anyway I’m starting to cry and I’m babysitting so gotta stop thinking about all that. In other news, we’re buying a house! It’s the street behind our best friends 😭 it’s amazing and a ridiculous fixer upper but it’s perfect.