little miss scare-all

Eddie adored Halloween as much as you, if not more. He often coordinated a costume with you and pulled out his Misfits cassettes for the entire month to set the spooky tone of the season. With the most wickedly ravenous sweet tooth you’d ever seen on a human, Eddie consumed even more Halloween candy than you. You found it endearing when, each year, he groaned to you about the bellyache that ensued, making you promise not to let him eat so much candy next time, but Eddie never learned that lesson.

It had been seven months, now, since that fateful day in the upside-down. It had been seven months since the hordes of demobats tore the love of your life to shreds, leaving behind only a broken and bloodied shell. You still had nightmares about his final words, the blood dripping from his mouth as you and Dustin held his fading body in your laps. And in the end, what hurt the most was that you simply had to leave him there: your sweet, vibrant Eddie lying lifelessly in the cold and merciless expanse of the upside-down for the rest of time, all because he had to be the hero. 

There was a part of you, however ashamed you were of it, that was angry with him for sacrificing himself. Did he ever think of what this would do to you? You felt selfish for it; Eddie had died for something greater than your relationship. But sometimes, when you cried yourself to sleep at night, you wondered if anything was truly greater than the love you had for the scruffy metalhead. 

You had survived and mourned for seven months, and though the waves of paralyzing grief hit you more and more seldom, October 31st washed over you like a tsunami. You didn’t decorate your home, you didn’t make a costume, and you didn’t bake any of the pumpkin-flavored treats Eddie used to love so much. Instead, you made an excuse to all of your friends and holed up by yourself in your dark bedroom. Rather than a costume, you had draped your body in one of Eddie’s Hellfire t-shirts; rather than attend a party, you had rented Evil Dead 2 and picked through a big bowl filled with Milky Ways, Eddie’s favorite movie and candy. You knew this was irrational, and you tried to go about your life as normally as possible, but on a night like this, it was all you could do not to fall apart.

You had gotten about halfway through the cheesy movie that Eddie had so adored when you heard a faint rapping at your window. This caused you to jump: no one ever climbed to your second-story window. No one except Eddie.

It was a pretty sick prank for one of your friends to do this, especially on Halloween night. Anger bubbled up inside you as you prepared some choice words for whoever was on the other side of the glass. Nothing could have prepared you for who you saw peering through your window, though.

It was Eddie’s curious face looking back at you when you got there.

You let out a bloodcurdling shriek when you saw him, backing away from the window so quickly that you tripped over your bed. This was impossible; you had been there in Eddie’s final moments–had held him in your arms as he took his final breaths.

You were too terrified to look again, afraid that you were losing your mind, but afraid, as well, that it really was him. You were still cycling through these thoughts when you heard his muffled voice from outside the window: “Y/N, couldja let me in? It’s freezing out here,” you heard him say.

That voice belonged to Eddie, it was unmistakable. You heard it in your dreams most nights, and in your nightmares, too. It never left you. On shaking legs, you stumbled back over to the window and looked into the face that belonged to your late boyfriend. 

“Stop starin’ and let me in already! I swear I’ll explain everything,” Eddie pleaded. 

Before you could think, you were unlocking the window and weakly pulling it open. Eddie hopped through the same way he always did–shockingly graceful for his tall, lanky form. His smile was exactly the same. You were hypnotized by it until he spoke again. “Hi, pretty girl. I know this seems in-fucking-sane, but I promise I’ll explain. Oh, one other thing: don’t look down,” he instructed.

It was only a reflex that your eyes drifted downward at his statement. They landed on his torso. Eddie’s shirt was bloodstained and ripped open, revealing torn flesh in many places. “Oh, fuck!” you gasped. A wave of nausea overcame you and you found yourself sprinting to the bathroom at the sight which had haunted you for months.

As you retched into the toilet, footsteps approached. “Well, I told you not to look,” Eddie said in grim amusement. You felt his strong hands pulling your hair from your face; it made you shudder. When you had finished, you turned slowly toward him.

“How are you here? How is this possible? I…I watched you die,” you said weakly. Part of you still didn’t believe it was real. It must be a prank, something Dustin or Steve conjured up. That thought was discarded quickly; your friends would never dare be so heartless. 

Eddie nodded and sank down next to you on the bathroom floor. You were careful to look only at his face this time. “Funny story,” he began with a sigh. “After I, well, died, everything went dark for a while. But then, it was like I just…woke up. Part of me thought I was alive and I recovered, that you guys had forgotten me down there, but when I realized I couldn’t move beyond my trailer and the area around it, I knew it meant something else.”

“It meant what?” you asked. Everything that had already transpired seemed so crazy that you felt you would believe anything Eddie told you.

“Well, I know this is hard to believe, but…I’m a ghost, Y/N.”

You swallowed thickly. “But how could you be a ghost? I felt you touch me a few minutes ago,” you said.

Eddie shrugged. “Y’know how I used to read a lot, right? I read some lore and some occult shit, back then, instead of reading the things I was supposed to for school. It was still gonna be my year though, dammit, if I’d only been alive to graduate.” He laughed sadly. “Anyway, I’ve read about this. In some lore, it says that ghosts are tethered to the places they died in every day of the year except one: Halloween. On October 31st each year, the dead are free to walk the earth. And apparently it’s true,” he explained. 

You nodded as you processed his words. “So along with being able to be free, you regain a physical form?” you asked. 

He nodded in return. “That’s right. I’m as good as human, baby. For tonight, anyway.” He grinned his signature Eddie grin at you and your heart nearly burst from the ache of how much you’d missed it. 

“So can I…can I hug you?” you asked cautiously. 

“I’d love nothing more. I’ve dreamt of holding you again ever since the last time I saw you,” Eddie confessed. He spread his arms open for you.

Your eyes couldn’t help but gravitate to the open wounds that still littered his chest and torso, but the thought of being safe and warm in Eddie’s arms again won out over the reluctance you felt. You came to him slowly, wrapped your arms around him cautiously, as though he might break, but Eddie’s embrace was as strong and all-consuming as it always had been. It felt like coming home. 

The reluctance and the fear and the surrealness of it all no longer mattered, all that mattered was that very moment when the boy you had loved and fought for and stood beside so many times was finally able to hold you again. 

You pressed your face into Eddie’s chest and the tears began to fall: tears of happiness, tears of grief, tears of anger. “Why did you do it, Eddie? Why’d you have to go and be the hero and die because of it? Didn’t you ever think of what it would do to me, to lose you?” you sobbed into him. 

His arm ran soothingly up and down your back. “I know, sweet girl. I’m so, so sorry. In my dying breaths and every moment since then I’ve thought of you. The pain of being mauled by bats is nothing to the pain of losing you,” he said softly. 

“I wish you could take it back. Just take it back, Eddie, take it back and stay here with me,” you pleaded through your tears.

He was quiet for a brief moment. “I can’t take it back, though. And I don’t regret it. Saving you, saving our friends, was the most important thing I could ever do.” 

You looked up at him then, and the sobs racked your body even more violently. “How the fuck can you say that? I’m a mess without you.” Your face contorted into a tearful scowl as you landed a soft punch to the middle of Eddie’s chest before collapsing back into him. 

His arms around you grew tighter. “I know, doll, I know. Let it out. You have every right to be furious with me. I don’t blame you for feeling this way. I’m angry with myself all the time,” he said.

You didn’t say anything more for quite a while; instead, you simply let Eddie hold you as you wept against him. Eventually, your eyes dried out and the tears subsided. Your face was red and puffy when you finally looked up at Eddie again. He tucked a strand of hair, now damp and sticky, behind your ear. You sniffled wetly.

“Oh, my poor, pretty girl. Let’s get you into bed,” he said gently. Eddie picked you up with ease, the same way he always had. 

“Doesn’t it hurt? Walking around and even picking me up with all your…wounds?” you asked. 

Eddie smiled fondly as he set you down on the bed. “No, not usually. Only sometimes, when I have these sort of… episodes, I guess you could call them. The pain gets me then.” He seemed to shudder at the thought. 

“So, what’s it like? Being down there all the time, I mean. And being a ghost.” 

Eddie’s face became grim at your question. “It’s so lonely. I don’t have much to pass the time with, save for my guitar. Things are scary there, too. Lots of weird creatures and shit. But I know they can’t do anything to me. I’m dead already, after all.” He laughed a hollow laugh. The sound caused you to grimace.

“I’m so sorry, Eddie. I-I wish I could visit you, but….” you trailed off. Nothing about returning to the upside-down was safe or logical, despite the way you yearned to cure Eddie’s sentence to eternity there. 

He shook his head. “I don’t want you to think like that. It wouldn’t be safe, and I could never forgive myself if you ended up down there for all eternity with me, no matter how much the selfish part of me wishes I could have you,” he said.  Then, with a thoughtful pause, he asked, “Y/N? If you aren’t too upset by my being here, could I, maybe…stay? Until I have to go when the sun comes up, I mean.”

You smiled sadly at him and nodded. “Please, please stay, Eds.” 

As you cuddled back under your covers and held them open for him, Eddie turned to the paused movie on your tv. “Baby, this one’s my favorite!” His eyes lit up in childlike excitement that wrenched your heart. 

“I know it is. Look what else I have. Not sure if you can eat, but…” You gestured to the large bowl of fun-size Milky Way bars at the end of the bed and his eyes grew wide. 

“My favorite,” he breathed. “I don’t know if I can eat, but fuck if I’m not gonna try. I haven’t eaten in seven months.” Eddie grabbed a handful of the candies and found, to his delight, that he could eat them. 

The two of you laid in bed exactly the way you once had: horror movie on the tv, Eddie’s arm around you, and his chocolate-flavored lips on yours. You hadn’t been able to resist the urge to kiss your boyfriend after so many months apart; you did everything you could to resist the heat that coiled in your belly.

Much later, as you felt yourself getting sleepy and comfortable with Eddie back by your side, he spoke again. “I wish I could be here like this all the time. It’s so warm and cozy here. The upside-down is so…cold. I’m cold all the time, Y/N,” he told you sadly, and your heart broke. 

“I’d keep you here for the rest of time if I could, Eds.” He held onto you a little tighter.

Though you did all that you could to fight sleep and savor the time you had with Eddie, the warm embrace of sleep was too tempting. This night had exhausted you as much as it had overjoyed you, and the familiar smell and feel and sound of Eddie nearby gently lulled you into unconsciousness. 

When, through the haze of sleep,  you heard that familiar voice say, “Goodnight, princess. I’ll see you next year,” you couldn’t tell if it was real or only a dream. 

When your eyes cracked open to find the light of day, Eddie was no longer there. You looked around for him in a slight panic, and briefly, you wondered if it had all been a dream. There was no trace of his warmth in your bed; the scent of him was long-gone. But when you found a mess of Milky-Way wrappers arranged in the shape of a heart on your desk, you knew for certain that your Eddie had really been there–this was no dream.

“Ah, the new Maiden album! This is a good one,” he observed loudly, unaware of his yelling over the music only he could hear.

You snatched the headphones back before hitting pause on the cassette. “Well, duh. Couldn’t you tell that from me singing to you?” 

Eddie’s eyebrows shot up underneath his curly mess of bangs. “Actually, I couldn’t. As much as I adore you, sweetheart, you’re no Bruce Dickinson,” he teased. You shoved him playfully, scoffing at the comment.

“Cruel, Eddie! I’d put myself right on par with the greatest of metal vocalists.”

“Sure, whatever you say,” he said. “Enough about the legitimacy of your singing talents, though. I have something important to tell you.” 

You could feel the excitement buzzing off of your friend, now that he mentioned it. He was bouncing around happily, making you wonder what had him so worked up. “What’s up, Eds?” you asked. 

Eddie’s signature toothy grin spread across his lovely face, reaching his chocolate-colored eyes; you could’ve sworn his cheeks blushed red. He flopped down onto your bed before he started to recount his tale. “Well, you know how I’ve always had a little bit of a crush on Megan, right? I accidentally ran into her at the store after school, like physically ran into her with a bunch of snacks in my arms–you know how I crave Yoohoo after I smoke–and we both dropped everything. Anyways, we helped each other pick up our stuff, got to talking, and we actually hit it off. And get this, Y/N. I’m taking her out on a date this Friday night!” Eddie beamed at you, clearly both exhilarated and proud of his story. 

For you, however, it felt as though someone had just landed a hard punch to your gut. Because little did Eddie, or your parents, or your friends know, you had had a crush on Eddie for quite some time. Finally, you worked up a response. “Megan M., you mean? Cheerleader, class president Megan?” you asked, slightly disbelieving. 

“Well, yeah. You knew that’s the Megan I’ve always had a thing for,” Eddie replied, seeming a little let down by your reaction. 

You let out a little puff of air, then turned back to your desk. “Oh,” was all you could muster. Tears were prickling at the corners of your eyes, but you would rather die than let Eddie see them. 

“That’s all you have to say? Oh? I thought you’d be a little more excited for me,” Eddie said, clearly downtrodden. 

You shook your head, gathering all the composure you could find within yourself and turning to face him. “No, Eds, it’s not that. I’m happy for you, really. I just have a bit of a headache and I have some homework to finish up, so I’m not feeling the greatest. I think I need to be by myself,” you lied, giving him a halfhearted smile.

Eddie frowned. “Really? We were supposed to watch a movie tonight. Robin gave me a couple good scary options for free,” he complained. Eddie could tell something was going on with you; even when you did have homework, you were usually happy to let him occupy himself with the books and magazines and tapes in your room, simply content to have some company. 

“Yes, Eddie, really. I just remembered I have an essay due in the morning, so I really need peace and quiet. You could go over to Gareth’s if you don’t feel like being alone, I know he’s been dying to see the new Friday the 13th movie,” you suggested. Then, as petty jealousy lanced through you, you added, “Or maybe you could go watch it with Megan.” You spat her name out like it tasted bitter. 

Standing from your bed, Eddie gave you a puzzled, slightly hurt look. “Fine, I guess I’ll just go, then. See you tomorrow, I guess.” Eddie slipped out your window as easily as he had entered, and when you heard his filthy white high-tops hit solid ground, you walked to the window and watched him jog to his van. As soon as the tires screeched away, the tears that had been threatening to fall for Eddie’s entire visit began spilling over.

Of all the girls Eddie could go out with, why did it have to be Megan? She was sweet, popular, and smart, not to mention absolutely gorgeous–the polar opposite of you. You looked in the mirror at yourself: curly, wild hair, big, chunky glasses, and your body draped in one of Eddie’s old Corroded Coffin t-shirts, making you look totally shapeless. You didn’t stand a chance against Megan and her perfect high ponytails and sinfully short skirts. Though you’d had your suspicions about the sorts of girls Eddie liked based on the magazines that were sometimes lying around his bedroom, this was your final, heartbreaking confirmation that you weren’t Eddie’s type–that he would never be attracted to you. 

You slept fitfully that night. Frustration plagued your mind, and you found yourself, in your sleeplessness, hatching a plan. Though it wasn’t likely to work, you came up with one final, last-ditch effort to get Eddie’s attention for yourself, to get him to see you. You set your alarm extra-early, knowing you’d have to get to work before the sun rose in order to make this happen.

At 5:45am the next morning, the obnoxious ringing of your alarm awoke you;  you had apparently drifted off at some point late in the night. You dragged yourself reluctantly out of bed. The gray morning light of autumn was just beginning to peek through your curtains, and you found yourself questioning if Eddie’s attention was truly worth waking up an hour earlier than normal. The thought of Eddie on a date with Megan M. helped you decide that it certainly was.

Thus began a painstaking morning routine: you took a long, hot shower, shaving your legs baby-smooth and scrubbing down with the floral body wash that your mother usually used. You blow-dried your hair smooth before tying it up into a ponytail that made your scalp ache. Then came the part which you found yourself most daunted by: makeup. You had a few products for special occasions, but they were rarely used otherwise. You had seen Nancy do her makeup a few times, though, and tried to remember her steps: light concealer to cover the tired circles under your eyes, rosy pink blush, mascara, and lip gloss that made your lips look full and shiny. Finally, you sneaked into your older sister’s room to raid her closet for something more feminine, apprehensive despite the fact that she was a few hundred miles away at college. It felt like she would know you were about to steal her clothes despite that fact.

In the end, you found yourself slipping into a short, pink skirt and white sweater that she had left behind, along with a pair of your own white sneakers. You tied a blush-pink satin ribbon into your hair as the finishing touch, then placed your thick glasses on your dresser, brushing off the slight blurriness in the name of looking more fashionable. Gazing in the mirror, you felt nothing like yourself: the only remnant of the real you left behind was the faded little stick-and-poke tattoo of a bat on your thigh that Eddie had put there while you were both drunk one night; he had one to match in the same spot. 

You grabbed your schoolbag and awaited Eddie’s appearance in front of your house; he took you to school every morning. As the minutes ticked by, you became worried that the previous night’s awkwardness was going to prevent him from showing up, but as you heard the van’s tires screech to a stop, you realized it was only Eddie’s habitual lateness. Eddie was drumming distractedly on the steering wheel when you opened the door and hopped inside. He turned to you with a smile. “Morning, sunshine. You feeling–” he stopped abruptly as he looked you up and down, jaw almost dropping. “You feeling better?” he managed after gawking at you for a few seconds. 

You smiled lightly at Eddie, trying to emulate the pleasant prettiness of the popular girls that Eddie was apparently interested in. “Much better today, thanks, Eds. Sorry I kicked you out last night,” you replied politely. 

Eddie continued staring you down as he pulled off towards Hawkins High. “Don’t worry about it,” he mumbled. Quietly, secretly, he wondered if you had actually hit your head, for he had only seen you dress this way for the family photos you so hated taking last year. 

You arrived at school and walked in together, as you always did. Before you could take your usual morning spot in the cafeteria, however, Megan was walking up, waving sweetly to Eddie. Immediately, your conversation about the upcoming Hellfire campaign was discarded. 

“Hey, Eddie!” she greeted the metalhead eagerly. “Hi,Y/N,” she added, smiling kindly at you, and dammit, you couldn’t even hate her because she truly was sweet.

“Good morning, m’lady,” Eddie replied, dropping to a knee and kissing her hand, and she giggled at him.

 Jealousy bubbled up in your chest: that stupid, cheesy routine was typically reserved for you. As the pair started a conversation, you broke away, quietly saying, “I gotta get to class,” but you didn’t think anyone was listening. 

In Mrs. O’Donnell’s Eddie took his usual spot next to you. “Hey, why’d you ditch me this morning?” he whispered. 

Looking straight ahead, you replied, “Dunno. Didn’t want to interrupt your conversation with Megan.”

“Aw, come on, Y/N. You’re never interrupting, and besides–” 

Eddie was abruptly cut off by Mrs. O’Donnell’s sharp voice. “Mr. Munson, would you like to share something with the class?” she asked. 

Eddie sighed, sinking down in his seat and facing forward. “No, ma’am.” 

At lunch, Megan was already sitting in your usual seat at the table, laughing away with Eddie and the rest of Hellfire. You approached awkwardly with your tray in hand, trying to turn the other direction before anyone noticed you when you realized there were no open chairs. Eddie spotted you before you could get away, though. “Oh, shoot, Y/N, I’m sorry. I can pull up a chair from one of the other tables,” he offered.

You felt your cheeks burning, wishing for a less embarrassing way out of this. “Oh, um, don’t worry about it! I told Nancy I’d help her out with something today anyway,” you said, ducking away from the table before Eddie could get another word in. 

That was how you ended up eating lunch all alone in the library. So much for capturing Eddie’s attention. 

You were nearly late to your afternoon classes due to the long walk back to the cafeteria to return your tray. Eddie and Megan were nowhere to be seen, but you bumped into Dustin as you rushed to chemistry. “Sorry,” you muttered. You didn’t even realize it was him at first.

“Hey, Y/N,” Dustin said, getting you to look up from your feet. “Sorry about lunch, I don’t know what Eddie was thinking, giving your seat away.” 

You just shrugged. “It’s fine. I just ate in the library, caught up on studying.” 

“Well I know this doesn’t make up for it, but she’s pretty cool, actually. Megan, I mean,” he explained.

Without meaning to, you rolled your eyes. “Yeah, Megan’s so cool and great and pretty. May as well have my seat at the table and my best friend.” 

Dustin’s brow knit together. “Are you upset about her going out with Eddie?” he asked. You didn’t respond for a moment, and realization soon dawned on his face. “You’re upset about her going out with Eddie,” he breathed, eyes wide. “Do you like him?” 

“I dunno. Maybe,” you answered hesitantly.

Dustin nodded. “You’re mad at Eddie, you’re dressed all weird, it all makes sense now!” Dustin said triumphantly. When you glared, he gave a sheepish chuckle. “Uh, sorry. This situation really is shit.”

The bell rang again before you could respond with any substance. “Yeah. Gotta go,” you said, rushing off to class and hoping that chemical formulas would take your mind off of all this, if only for the next 50 minutes.

After school, you were met by the not-so-shocking sight of Megan and Eddie leant up against his beat-up van and chatting. When he caught sight of you, Eddie smiled, and your anger melted away for a split-second. “Hey, you ready to go?” he asked. “I’m gonna give Megan a ride too, if you don’t mind giving up shotgun.” His eyes pleaded with you to go along with it, and with a forced smile, you did.

“No problem,” you said through gritted teeth. From the backseat you watched the two flirt; Eddie was nauseatingly sweet, playing some obnoxiously poppy Madonna tape through the speakers and driving like your grandmother would. He dropped you off first, much to your confusion. “Um, it’s pasta night, you know. Are you coming back after?” you asked. On Wednesday nights, Eddie usually joined your family for dinner. He hated being alone at the trailer and you knew that if he was home alone, he’d probably be eating a bowl of cereal for every meal. 

Eddie balked slightly. “Uh, probably not tonight. I’m kinda busy, got some homework to take care of. Tell your mom and dad I said hi, though,” he said. 

“Will do,” you replied tightly, hopping out of the backseat without saying goodbye.

So this was how it started. First, he put you in the backseat, now he wasn’t hanging out alone with you anymore, either–probably in order to prevent Megan’s jealousy and quell her doubts about the nature of your friendship. You knew that Eddie’s pet names and his cuddles were long gone, too. You headed directly to your bedroom and tore out of the stupid, pretty outfit and the ponytail you wore before scrubbing wildly at the makeup on your face. You then threw yourself on your bed and laid there until your mother called you for supper, but you barely ate; all you could do was stare at Eddie’s empty seat at your dining room table.

Despite the futility of it, you continued to wear the same outfits on the following days, feigning indifference to the newly-formed rift between Eddie and yourself. He brought you to school in the backseat and took you home the same way. You sat in a pulled-up extra seat at lunch while Eddie fawned over the object of his affections. 

On Friday, after school, you knew your time had run out. You couldn’t wait to get home, take off the fake outfit once and for all, and mourn what your friendship with Eddie used to be; after tonight, you were sure that the relationship you once shared would be a shadow of its former self. As you trudged out to meet Hawkins’ future hottest couple, you noticed Megan gesture to you. You frowned curiously as you approached.

“Hey, Y/N, I’ve been meaning to ask you about the tattoo on your leg. Where’d you get it? It’s kinda cool,” she said.

Before you could open your mouth to tell her that it was kind of a long story (a special and secret one at that), Eddie was answering for you. “I did it, actually. Y/N and I got super wasted and we were playing truth or dare, and she dared me to give her the tattoo. If you really like it, I could give you one too. Maybe tonight,” he suggested with a raise of his eyebrows. 

Before you could see her reaction, you were storming off in the other direction. Anger rose in your throat: giving away your seat was one thing, ditching you was another, but throwing away the sentimentality of the tattoo he gave you as though it was nothing? That was the last straw. “Y/N, where are you going?” Eddie called after you. 

You whipped your head around quickly. “Don’t fucking worry about it,” you said, venom lacing your voice. You turned back around, making a beeline for the big yellow school bus you hadn’t had to take since Eddie got his driver’s license. You heard him trotting up behind you, but you didn’t dare turn around.

“Hey! Don’t just walk away from me. What the fuck, Y/N? We aren’t like this. What’s going on with you? First you start dressing all crazy, now this,” he said as he sidled up to you.

Abruptly you stopped walking, fully turning to face him. “You just don’t get it, do you? God, I’m so stupid. I try acting different, I try dressing different, I even put on this damn mascara to try to get you to notice me! But it was never about the clothes and the makeup, was it? It’s just me you can’t see.” By this point, your lip was quivering and your voice shook, and you could feel a fat tear rolling down your cheek. You knew your dignity was gone at this point. You tore yourself away from Eddie’s big brown puppy eyes before he could stop you, before he could hurt you even more by confirming all of this, and made your way to the bus. 

The ride home was loud and bumpy. Eddie’s van was, too, but in the fun sort of way where the two of you blasted vulgar music and hit the bumps in the road at high speed just for the thrill of it. This was just grating on your frayed nerves. 

You spent the remainder of the afternoon in your room, sprawled across your bed while your music played. You’d ditched the high ponytail and the skirt for your usual look: wild hair and ripped jeans. You were wearing Eddie’s Corroded Coffin shirt again if only just for the futile comfort of being surrounded by something of his. You had put your glasses back on, too, because three days without them had left you with a relentless headache. 

You stared at the ceiling for what felt like hours, only getting up to switch out your tapes every so often. Your parents had gone out for the night, so no one was home to tell you to get rid of the ear-shattering music. You barely noticed when the sun set and the light of day faded into night.

The sound of knuckles rapping against your window startled you from your stupor. You shot up in your bed, glancing at the clock first. 8:37, it said. So when you saw Eddie’s face peering through the window, things didn’t add up.

Your brows furrowed as you reluctantly opened the window. “I thought you had your date with Megan tonight,” you said. Eddie tumbled through the window and shook his head.

“I canceled,” he explained, standing before you with an expectant look on his face, but you only shrugged. 

“Okay? Why? You were like, so excited. Fuckin’ over the moon about her,” you muttered, walking away from the window and the chill of the fall evening. Eddie closed it behind him. 

“Well, my girl seemed like she needed me, and that’s more important than any old date.” 

You sighed. “Eddie, cut the bullshit, I know you’d rather be with–”

“Megan? No, Y/N, I’d rather figure out what’s been going on with you all week,” Eddie said. He gave you a stern sort of look that told you he was serious. 

You sighed in defeat; the truth was going to come out eventually, and you figured you may as well tell it yourself. “Fine. You really wanna know? I’m jealous. So there. I’m jealous that I’ve been here with you for all this time, and then at the drop of a hat you wanted to go date one of the pretty, popular girls. So I thought maybe you’d be into me, too, if I wore what they wear and acted how they act, b-but it didn’t change anything.” You looked at him tearfully and shrugged.

Eddie's eyes filled up with compassion. “I was wondering why you were dressing that way. Not that you didn’t look fuckin’ incredible in a skirt, but I missed seein’ you in my old t-shirts and these big dorky glasses,” he said fondly, stepping closer to you.

You shook your head. “Just stop, okay? I know I already fucked everything up, and I know it was stupid for me to try to make you like me with clothes and a new hairstyle. You don’t have to say things like that.” 

“But I’m not just saying it, sweet thing. You don’t have to change your clothes or your hair to make me like you. You are perfect exactly the way you are. You’re beautiful,” Eddie told you with a soft smile. He was standing right in front of you now, just inches away. When you looked up to meet his eyes, the love you felt for him stabbed painfully through your chest. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean exactly what I’m saying. And I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner, because obviously I’ve wasted a lot of time. I always thought you’d never be into me like that, so I tried to get over you and date other people. And Megan, she’s pretty and all, but you? I’m pretty sure you’re my soulmate, Y/N. Not to mention the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever met.” 

You felt your cheeks turn bright red. “Eddie, c’mon…” you mumbled, still not believing him. 

Eddie took your hands in his. “I’m not just messing around or joking, doll. You’ve been with me for years, put up with all my quirks and been there when things are bad. I can be with you for hours, days even, and still miss you the second I have to leave. I feel like myself when I’m with you. You never make me feel like the freak everyone says I am,” he said sincerely. 

“But-but what about the girls you usually like? I’m nothing like them.” 

Eddie grinned at you then, that smile that was just as bright as sunshine. He reached out, twirling one of your curls around his finger. “I prefer you like this. You look like yourself. Not to mention, I’ve always found you adorable in my shirts.” He paused for a moment, seeming to work himself up to say something bigger. “I never cared about the clothes and the makeup and all that. I want you just the way you are, not pretending to be something you’re not. Because honestly, Y/N, I love you for you.” 

You smiled back at Eddie then, finally starting to believe that this was real. Before you could speak again, Eddie took your face gently in his hands and pressed his lips against your own in a chaste kiss. When the shock of it wore off, you kissed him back; you savored the soft feeling of his lips against yours, the taste of spearmint gum and tobacco in his mouth, the smell of his cologne and the hint of weed that always lingered around him. It was a smell so distinctly and perfectly Eddie that you could just drown in it. 

Eddie smiled and licked his lips when you finally parted. “I think you forgot to take off that lipgloss you were wearing earlier, you taste like strawberries. Not that I’m complaining,” he said with a chuckle. 

You blushed and gave him a soft shove, which quickly turned into a warm embrace. “Shut up, Munson,” you said softly into his chest. He ghosted a hand over your hair. 

“I brought Friday the 13th Part VI and a couple beers if you’re free for the evening,” Eddie offered. “I know it’s not a very exciting first date, but…” 

“There’s no way I’d rather spend my evening.” You grabbed his hand, leading him to the family room with a grin. 

Plopping down on the couch, safely in Eddie’s arms, you watched the cheesy movie. Right before you could drift off, you heard Eddie’s mischievous voice one more time: “So, about these outfits you were wearing the past couple days, baby. What would it take to get you back into one of those skirts? Maybe just for a private viewing.” 

With a soft punch in the thigh, you replied, “Maybe you’ll just have to take me upstairs and find out.”

Eddie gave you a wicked grin, something hungry like you’d never seen before. It made your stomach flip-flop in anticipation. “Deal.”